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Gove defends claim of 1,000 school applications for academy status... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

"civil servants were counting in binary." "Bastards."...

UK's new, smallest bank already considering redundancies and downsizing. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Also considering if naming itself after a free newspaper was such a good idea...

Coalition latest: UK democratic deficit hits record high. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Economists believe that the democratic deficit is structural and unlikely to improve for at least five years, possibly ten...

David Miliband attacks 'loudmouth' Cameron. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Cameron asks Miliband how mad his policies have to get before Labour can be arsed to object...

Horror as OAP Murdered by Peacocks 2
Evil Toaster 4 years

Agnus McDonald, 78, was the subject of a brutal attack, conducted by over 500 peacocks. The peacocks were the family pets of next door neighbour, Andy Thompson, 45, who has described the attack as...

Labour MPs demand higher pay before offering Government any proper opposition... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

They've been on strike since the election. You may have noticed. < any funnier this time? >...

Latest series of SpongeBob Squarepants to reflect newly oil-rich aquatic kingdom 9
ColinSlick 4 years

Fans of comical sea sponge SpongeBob Squarepants are to receive a shock when the new series launches later this summer. Gone are the whimsical tales of humorous starfish, mishaps with barnacles and...

New Bank to 'Lend Money' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

A new High Street bank has promised to 'lend money'. 'Unlike most banks our business model does not depend upon ever increasing state handouts', said a spokesman. 'Anyone can take UK government money...

The "man with no name" originally casted as "Sweet Cheeks" 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Bristol, "Open Space" bye laws ban temporary or permanent erections 0
hero2zero 4 years

Bristol Downs, a large parkland area near Bristol Suspension Bridge has strengthened its enforcement of a bye law banning both temporary and permanent erections, leaving picnickers short of...

Hitler diaries hint to cosmic ordering but no mention of deal or no deal 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Ruling Planet Earth 'is a chore' says secret reptilian Illuminati 10
jp1885 4 years

The world of the conspiracy theorist is abuzz today, after he Illuminati, a race of reptilian aliens that have been secretly ruling the planet by masquerading as the world's leaders, admitted that...

Panic buying leads to UK bread shortage 0
newbietryer 4 years

Kingsmill, Kelloggs & Nestle implement breakfast contingency plans (BCP’s). “Bacon and egg on Jacobs Crackers is one option” – Lorry Driver...

HP in merger talks with Apple - Pork sales on the up 1
newbietryer 4 years

More Later...

C4 replace Big Brother with absolutely nothing. In desperate rating battle 4
Iamthestig 4 years
Bee Colony Collapse Disorder solved: They just can't be arsed. 3
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Banjo player regrets asking random man if he likes dueling banjos. 0
SingingHinny 4 years
Stiff opposition to NHS funded Viagra 1
Converter 4 years
Richard Branson's Tie Drawer Declared SSSI Protected Moth Habitat 0
mugwump 4 years

Richard Branson's Tie Drawer Declared SSSI Protected Moth Habitat...

Cameron Indian trip success due to "the toadying skills I learnt at NewsBiscuit" 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Ryanair to offer caravan miles 0
roybland 4 years
Pakistan flood deaths: "It really wasn't us this time," says US Military. 0
la maga 4 years
"Olympic athletes to cross London by jetpack" – Lord Coe 0
2000something 4 years
Amazing Password Finder software has integral flaw as man loses login.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years
Britain's oldest twitter user dies 4
antharrison 4 years

Google launch Instant Doorstep Grammar Checker.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

Buy it now and instantly know if the two faced, patronising, toffee nosed prick on your doorstep masquerading as a politician is one of those 'Grammar School' boys...

Gordon Brown claims life without the trappings of power is bliss.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years Some people get used to all the trappings of power, the wealth goes to their head and in my case the fabulous food, whiskey and...

US Lab reveals Goats and Pigeons prone to bouts of prostate cancer.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

The US research and biochemical company General Modifications has today revealed disturbing evidence that certain breeds of Goats and Pigeons are prone to prostate cancer. Dr Walter Blowerstaff...

Fake Tesco Clubcard points worth up to 4 times less than £1 coin 2
Iamthestig 4 years

Very little helps...

Gordon Brown tells Guardian "It wasn't my smile being used during the election" 0
Iamthestig 4 years

Former PM Gordon Brown has told the Guardian newspaper he did not use his own smile during the 2010 election campaign. Mr. Brown has admitted he didn't actually smile for the entire campaign, and is...