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Non-EU migrants and new Labour peers to take English test 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cbeebies shunned as toddlers rumble educational content 0
ianslat 4 years

Toddlers and pre-schoolers have been boycotting children's TV channel Cbeebies in recent weeks the BBC has today admitted. 'This is a disaster' moaned Cbeebies Controller Damian Kavanagh. 'Children...

Shocked housemates uncomfortable with comfortable new BB11 House 1
Stan Laurel 4 years

[i]Saturday 3:00 am:[/i] Contestants in the final Big Brother household are reeling from shock following extensive changes from the stark modernist living area that they had been expecting. Earlier...

'Conscience Money Boxes' to be put in houses of parliament: REWRITE 2
PluckyMunky 4 years

Lords and members have been encouraged to 'take what money they need, according to their consciences'. The boxes will be topped up half-hourly. 'Now that we have made sleaze a thing of the past,'...

FIFA Release Official World Cup Cliche Guide - It's a Pamphlet of 2 Halves 0
Svendo 4 years
PM accused of putting methadrone on dummy to stop her crying 0
edward hack 4 years


Tragedy as Margaret Thatcher killed by foxes during visit to Downing Street 4
rickwestwell 4 years
"For fox sake" says RSPCA spokesman 0
Scroat 4 years

"Shoot the bastards" say residents More urban backlash soon...

Osbourne's Surgical Cut 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Chancellor Osbourne (the ferret down Cameron's trousers) announced yesterday that he is to undergo a vasectomy operation, which he blames on his wife, stating that he had no idea what was going on....

Junior Time Team unearths remains of bouncy castle 4
dicky37 4 years

Special CBBC edition of long-running archaeology TV show discovers ramparts and fragments of tiny shoes dating back to Norman period...

Minty Polar Bear Admits He 'Never Trusted the Little ****er' 3
Doctor Moptop 4 years

Peppy, the polar bear best known for his role in the Fox's Glacier Mints adverts, has broken a decade-long silence to speak about his co-star. We met in the freezer section of a national supermarket...

Urbane fox politely excuses itself before mauling family members 1
QorbeQ 4 years
I predicted the Con-Lib pact ages ago, says political analyst at Dog and Duck 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Though the Con-Lib pact took most people by surprise, even Britain's political leaders, it has now emerged that one important thought leader had repeatedly predicted these events. 'I said it all...

BP 'stopping more oil leaking than ever before' claim disputed by historians 0
QorbeQ 4 years
US sanctions against Iran ban importing of produce from Farmville 0
Dumbnews 4 years
BP to minimize impact of spill by diluting oil with lots of water 0
Dumbnews 4 years
New US sanctions against Iran demand they lift their ban on US goods 0
Dumbnews 4 years
New German President welcomes Adolf Hitler back to Reichstag 0
rickwestwell 4 years
'Countdown' scrapped in Finland - just too damn hard. 4
allmyownstunts 4 years
'Fuck My Old Boots' dropped as national shoe shop slogan 0
PluckyMunky 4 years
Man man who vandalises supermarket trolley wheels promises to try to go straight 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Public asked about cuts: 'we don't want them, thanks' 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

In a valuable exercise in spreading the blame, the government has asked the public how to instigate cuts in finances. 'Sacking bank CEO's was rejected as 'impractical'. The Chancellor said: 'we have...

Queen receives birthday gift from Nintendo - The Royal Wii. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
PM Cameron and Family, Ordered to Move to Peckham, by Queen, as Tory Cuts Bite 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Yesterday, Prime Minister Cameron and his family were moved to a Peckham council tower block, on the orders of the Queen, as Tory cuts began to bite. The monarch was sorry it had to happen, but...

Alien Queen visits spawn > 4
Ludicity 4 years
Konnie Huq to replace Zinzan Brook in new rhyming slang dictionary. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
New series of Big Brother promises to be shitter than ever, claims Channel 4. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Popstar uses ‘Wherever I Lay My Hat (That’s My Home)' to amass property empire 6
dicky37 4 years

Using the sentiment behind his UK number 1 single as the basis for his acquisition strategy, 80s singer Paul Young used his hat to claim legal ownership of more than 140 properties over a 20-year...

Mysterious grey whale turns out to be a blue whale covered in oil. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
York Archaeologists find mass Roman Wanker's grave. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years It was this quote which set me off: "The arm asymmetry would also be consistent with weapons training that had already...