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Park bench perverts decry poor British Summer for low tit numbers 0
simonjmr 25.08.11 10:10am
simonjmr
'Price on Gadaffi's head' proves Jordan will do anything for publicity.

More soon. (KatieKatie Price? Jordan? On his head -- geddit?! Oh I give up.)...

0
DrTurmoil 25.08.11 9:45am
DrTurmoil
Jacqui Smith to star in Confessions of a Reforming Prisoner

hat tip to other writers...

0
Erlang 25.08.11 9:41am
Erlang
Depardieu to front ad campaign for Apple's new iPee

Inspired by his own health problems Steve Jobs' latest technological masterpeiece was unveiled today. At first glance the iPee appears no more than a slim 2" x 3" rectangular block with no obvious...

0
spoole2112 25.08.11 9:37am
spoole2112
daily mail to start campaign to end tuition fee discrimination

trying to ensure that English students have to pay similar tuition fees in all other EU countries...

0
4ty2 25.08.11 9:28am
4ty2
Tottenham to sue for Olympic stadium under human rights legislation

Retaining the athletics track to train up the mob for running riot in London is also deemed an unnecessary demand...

0
4ty2 25.08.11 9:15am
4ty2
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 'Bollocks' says Jobs. 0
wallster 25.08.11 8:53am
wallster
New boss says Apple will stick to its core business 0
Duncan Biscuit 25.08.11 8:43am
Duncan Biscuit
Plan for Amy Winehouse MTV tribute abandoned after 10 minutes 0
Duncan Biscuit 25.08.11 8:41am
Duncan Biscuit
Post Office’s ISP guarantees next day delivery of emails.

In a bold move, which merges technology with tradition, the Post Office has launched its new Internet service with the firm promise that all emails will be delivered the day after sending. 'In...

7
Stan 25.08.11 8:30am
Stan
Researchers report an 18% increase in pointless statistics 0
Mr_Johno 25.08.11 8:29am
Mr_Johno
Worst performing GCSE teacher claims he was “misunderstood’ 0
Stan 25.08.11 8:28am
Stan
Sky criticised over failure to send Kay Burley to Libya.

I fucking hate that woman...

2
SingingHinny 25.08.11 7:49am
SingingHinny
Airport alert as man answers security questions truthfully

A new ‘chat down’ procedure which identifies terrorists by the way they respond to routine security questions almost had its first success today when a man was detained at Stansted Airport after...

2
Des Custard 25.08.11 6:51am
Griffin
Apple's Existentialist Crisis

After Lord Jobs' retirement, thousands of apple fans have existentialist crisis and realise that their iPhones do the same as a 7 year old Nokia phone but costs twice the price...

0
ionb 25.08.11 6:47am
ionb
Jobs resigns from Apple after failure to conquer final Angry Birds level

. Oh the humiliation!...

0
Nick McCarr 25.08.11 3:26am
Nick McCarr
Defecating X-Factor reject stands to make a fortune claims PR Guru Max Clifford

An X-Factor reject could be on there way to stardom claims All-round bastard and celebrity ambulance chaser [i]Max Clifford[/i]. And many agree with him, citing that this isn't the first time that...

0
Ronson 24.08.11 11:29pm
Ronson
Unshaven "madman" al-Fayed arrested over Ghadaffi mistaken identity 0
thackaray 24.08.11 9:32pm
thackaray
Colonel Gadaffi has not paid income tax since end of July 2011

While holding his regular mid morning "Phone in with your problems to Muammar" in the underground bunker, Colonel Gadaffi was surprised by junior clerk ,Ibrahim-al-Ibrahimis question on his current...

0
similce1 24.08.11 7:46pm
similce1
Crack squad of South Wales busy body's sent to Libya to find Gadaffi

The £1 million pound reward is what did it, NATO expects a result in hours More soon...

0
simonjmr 24.08.11 7:13pm
simonjmr
Rioters counting days to Christmas shopping season

'Just a hundred days to Christmas shopping,' says Tottenham rioter Zac (14). 'I can't wait to get my hands on stuff, especially all that lovely Christmas free stuff.' Zac already has his Rioters'...

0
roybland 24.08.11 6:57pm
roybland
Research shows that blood pressure tests make hearts go

Boom-boody-boom-boody-boom-boody-boom-boody-boom-boody-boom-boody-boom-boom-boom!...

0
yussle 24.08.11 6:25pm
yussle
Man who flashed 144 women charged with gross indecency. 1
wallster 24.08.11 6:21pm
Al OPecia
Snail rapist charged with asexual assault 0
wallster 24.08.11 6:11pm
wallster
Joey Barton on The Road To Wigan Pier with QPR

QPR have been given permission by Newcastle to 'have a word' with Joey Barton. The deep thinking Barton has recently converted to Existentialism and his constant soul searching has given bewildered...

0
rebel not taken 24.08.11 5:58pm
rebel not taken
Inmates receive blue movies in exchange for a spot of painting

The air was blue when the husband of Jacqui Smith returned home to find the ex Home Secretary had given away his entire collection of pornographic DVD's in payment for the decorating services of two...

0
spoole2112 24.08.11 4:26pm
spoole2112
"Poor" 5.8 Richter score evidence of Obama's underperfomance, claims Tea Party

More ranting soon...

0
dvo4fun 24.08.11 4:10pm
dvo4fun
'Hague should stop issuing delusional statements and get real'-Gaddafi

Does anyone care what william hague thinks..?...

1
writinginbsl 24.08.11 3:54pm
dvo4fun
Late deal bonanza at Rixos Hotel, Tripoli... 0
allmyownstunts 24.08.11 3:52pm
allmyownstunts
David Hume to feature in new docu-soap: The only way is ethics

Coat on - heading for door...

0
beau-jolly 24.08.11 3:48pm
beau-jolly