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DSK accuser completely maid up her story. 8
rikkor 04.07.11 11:06am
Ed Miliband finds his feet.

Turns out, they were just slightly south of his knees...

deskpilot3 04.07.11 10:58am
Murray's Wimbledon defeat 'down to Mum's oestrogen levels' say scientists

Andy Murray’s defeat in the Wimbledon semi-finals was caused say a leading team of scientists, on the fluctuating levels of Judy Murray’s oestrogen during his game. The Scientists, from the Max...

Dick Everyman 04.07.11 9:20am
Dick Everyman
Oxfam unwrapped replace goat dung gift with pulped Da Vinci code

charlies_hat 04.07.11 9:19am
Tennis courts empty nationwide as Wimbledon finishes 0
Basil_B 04.07.11 9:06am
Q. What do you get if you cross a lawnmower with a war criminal?

A. Atco Miladic. Boom Boom!...

deskpilot3 04.07.11 8:59am
BBC sack reporter for failure to deploy sufficient egg puns

The BBC has dismissed one of its most experienced correspondents for his failure to deploy the BBC standardised egg puns. The Daily Express reports that Geoff Jones 53, who joined the BBC as a...

button 04.07.11 8:53am
Aldi says it could feed 1.3 million Ethiopians for 6 months with £38m 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.07.11 8:39am
Duncan Biscuit
Broken toe named as Klitschko’s next challenger after it defeats Haye 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.07.11 8:38am
Duncan Biscuit
Mladic plan to boycott tribunal delivers a slap in the face to prosecutors 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.07.11 8:38am
Duncan Biscuit
New Slant On An Old Slogan......

.."I'm backing the Tories - right over the cliff."...

Jesse Bigg 04.07.11 8:30am
Jesse Bigg
Diana 'still dead' at 50 1
Oxbridge 04.07.11 8:26am
Cabinet baffled by sudden bathtime policy U-turn

Senior domestic officials in East Anglia were last night left baffled by a sudden and dramatic policy U-turn., George Hill, three, a key decision-maker at 3 Acacia Avenue in Norwich, told a press...

FraserWords 04.07.11 8:25am
Egyptian sailor refuses to admit he fell into a river

colleagues say he's in denial...

Leeboy007 04.07.11 8:03am
Nadal duped into signing British citizenship application form by Judy Murray

Rafa Nadal's position of world tennis no.1 was put under serious threat today as a signed off application form for his British Citizenship was recieved at the Home Office this morning. It's thought...

Basil_B 04.07.11 7:52am
Government to add 'lazy racism' to National Curriculum

The government is to make lazy racism a compulsory part of the national curriculum from September. Secretary for work and pensions Ian Duncan Smith made the announcement whilst on a trip to Spain,...

04.07.11 7:06am
Stephen Fries Up Irish Presidential Election

Political Pundits across Ireland are saying famous British comedian and actor Stephen Fry may just have tipped the scales of the October Irish Presidential elections. Yesterday on Twitter Fry...

malk 04.07.11 12:00am
Dr Who says Tardis rage followed 300 years of travel without a bowel movemet

. I didn't save this properly and can' remember what i wrote...

ronseal 03.07.11 10:03pm
Governments Around the World Implement Reform because of Facebook Groups

In an unprecedented announcement, many of the worlds most powerful governments have stated they will put an end to unpopular policies due to the weight of opinion conveyed through social networking...

Fox100 03.07.11 9:21pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
EXCLUSIVE Interview with Ed Miliband

For the perusal and consumption of NewsBiscuit writers, here's the transcript of my interview with not-Ed Miliband (which I originally posted over at ):,...

Edward Cain 03.07.11 9:13pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Liam Broady moving to Dundee 'immediately' 1
allmyownstunts 03.07.11 8:36pm
The All New Jeni B
Cross party agreement on converting Isle of Wight into giant pensioner composter

solving NHS overspend, Pensions shortfall, and providing an environmentally friendly renewable energy supply. [i]I think this idea has more potential than I can give itI'm afraid the funny just will...

Ironduke 03.07.11 7:58pm
Greek MPs pining economic recovery on € millions rollover on Friday

Greek MP's today voted unanimously for the implementation of austerity measures on the provision that investments are made into trying to secure this weeks €136m € millions rollover. More soon...

simonjmr 03.07.11 7:40pm
5USA admits concern for the future as Seagal gets older

The age of martial arts practitioner and actor Steven Seagal could have a dramatic effect on the viability of the digital TV channel 5USA, according to a leaked internal report. The document,...

Mrblacker 03.07.11 4:28pm
MI5 warns terrorists have developed answer to 'Did you pack this yourself' quiz

Highly sophisticated terrorist fanatics have found a way around the 'Did you pack this yourself' question, which has kept the peace for decades in Britain's under siege airports. BOLLOCKS. I'M...

ronseal 03.07.11 1:06pm
Brown Fury - The story of one man's battle to maintain the dogshit bins

Joe Wilkins is a man who lives on the edge of society. He works alone, keeping the streets of Surrey free from a hidden menace. Ever-alert, always down-wind, John is the silent mercenary who empties...

03.07.11 1:02pm
Legislators to adopt ‘knee-jerk emotive response’ policy

In the light of media hysteria and emotional complaints at various poorly reported news stories, David Cameron has agreed that ‘lessons will be learned’ in Parliament when it comes to debates on...

fernandomando 03.07.11 10:54am
Al OPecia
Relief at Murray defeat grows as further ‘unpatriotic’ allegations emerge

Relief at Andy Murray’s Wimbledon defeat has been growing rapidly over the weekend according to opinion polls., A small number of British people had immediately reported being overjoyed at...

ianslat 03.07.11 8:30am
Interview coaches paid thousands of tax pounds to make MPs sound unmedia traIned

Politicians, including the leader of the opposition, are paying hundreds of thousands of pounds to an interview coach, who helps them sound un-media trained. The move follows the revelation that...

ronseal 03.07.11 7:44am
America's roundabout revolution

Psycadelic Squirrel 02.07.11 9:41pm