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Procter & Gamble to sponsor Red Arrows Ariel display 0
Dick Everyman 29.07.11 9:35am
Dick Everyman
Chaos after Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn appear on All Star Mr & Mrs

There was uproar in the studios of ITV last week following the botched recording of an appearance by Henry Tudor and his wife of three years Anne Boleyn on All Star Mr & Mrs. Fears are now...

Oxbridge 29.07.11 9:06am
eBay to introduce new buyer feedback rating of “Robbing Cunt”

“Only submit if you know the article is genuine” one of eBay’s many flaccid attempts to prevent fake goods being sold – to no avail. In recent years the rights of the seller to leave poor...

brownpaperreporter 29.07.11 8:27am
Ally McCoist concedes defeat in Scottish title race as Celtic take 2 point lead

Football in July?...

grottymonty 29.07.11 8:21am
India's drop in population blamed on Aunty Abortionists 0
Dick Everyman 29.07.11 7:41am
Dick Everyman
Miliband 'crestfallen' after failed operation to remove Balls

Labour leader Ed Miliband is said to be ‘disappointed’ after waking up in hospital to find that doctors have been unable to remove his Balls. 'I'm crestfallen,' admitted Mr Miliband. 'My...

The Paper Ostrich 29.07.11 4:13am
Ed Miliband has Operation to cure rare form of Apnea that caused others to fall 8
guffaw 29.07.11 4:08am
Transformers 4 To Adopt Unusual Marketing Campaign

Running out of ways to con audiences into accepting his latest insufferable miscellany of plot-free cacophony, Michael Bay has decided to try a different tack for the inevitable fourth installment in...

Textbook 29.07.11 3:34am
Study Shows Many Man Hours Lost By People Reading Newsbiscuit At Work

So cut it out...

Textbook 28.07.11 11:10pm
Comics Publishers Ordered To Alter Misleading Titles

The Fair Trading commission today ruled against comic publishing giants such as DC and Marvel and what it considers misleading product titles. "For example" said Justice Schwartz, "we have The...

Textbook 28.07.11 11:09pm
Speaking clock latest victim of phone hacking scandal

on the third stroke...

bonjonelson 28.07.11 9:40pm
United Utilities justify 50% price hike by rebranding to 'Watre' 0
28.07.11 9:24pm
MPs conspicuously silent about THEIR pension scheme arrangements... 0
deskpilot3 28.07.11 9:10pm
Nuclear test veterans win Supreme Court appeal bid

virtuallywill 28.07.11 8:55pm
New TurboSmeg-Xtra gives men 148 hour odour protection!

TurboSmeg-Xtra for Men Platinum Protect Dynamic Power spray is part of the award winning TurboSmeg Platinum Protect range. Its antibacterial formula, with platinum ions fights bacteria and body odour...

Dick Everyman 28.07.11 8:01pm
Dick Everyman
Sarah Payne "I feel like I've been Tangoed". More soon.

Al OPecia 28.07.11 7:47pm
Al OPecia
Tennis store offers no strings attached coupon for free racket stringing 1
Dumbnews 28.07.11 7:43pm
Al OPecia
New Age Stimulants; Startling Results in Mock Olympics

The world of athletics was given a glimpse into a potential nightmare future today as Sports Science researchers staged a mock "Olympics" in a closed-doors Wembley Stadium to demonstrate the power of...

Drylaw 28.07.11 7:32pm
David Haye retires from boxing citing workplace bullying.

True to his word that he would retire before his 31st birthday in September, having already accomplished all he set out to do, former WBA heavy-weight champion David Haye announced today that he has...

Corrigan 28.07.11 7:28pm
Rebekah Brooks branded a 'Payne in the arse' 0
Christopher Frost 28.07.11 7:03pm
Christopher Frost
Apple to launch electronic thought-generator: the i-Dea

(with thanks to Mr Blackanddecker for prompting the idea)...

Son of Barnabas 28.07.11 6:30pm
Jaques Tati revealed as Scottish potato grower

Mare later...

virtuallywill 28.07.11 6:29pm
New study says rentable German liver sausage is the leased wurst option 9
ronseal 28.07.11 1:49pm
Son of Barnabas
Marvel Comics Announces Death Of Stan Lee

Superhero comic veterans have experienced the deaths of all sorts of key characters such as Superman, Batman, Captain America and recently the Human Torch. Invariably the shock of these storylines is...

Textbook 28.07.11 1:47pm
Son of Barnabas
Parents to bail out children once again

In a scene all too familiar, parents are dipping into their nest-eggs to bail out their kids. In a report that will have cost the NHS the price of 100 hospital beds, a survey reveals that as children...

Flashman 28.07.11 1:04pm
Amy Winehouse Foundation announced, for heroin addled complexions. 0
MADJEZ 28.07.11 12:36pm
Green group attempts to block out the sun (working title)

Washington DC: Supporters of alternative energy lobby group Americans For Long Term Renewable Energy have flocked to the nation’s capital this week, calling on congress to introduce legislation...

snorkyadams 28.07.11 12:36pm
Duchess of York’s finances revived by bottled tears deal

In a final move to stave off complete bankruptcy and to reverse her financial fortunes, Sarah Ferguson has struck a deal with an American fragrance company to bottle and sell her own tears. Chip...

Milo Shame 28.07.11 12:33pm
Milo Shame
Experimental rejuvenation treatment still trying to iron out the wrinkles 3
beau-jolly 28.07.11 12:28pm
Dick Everyman
Ed Milliband's nose operation has unfortunate consequences

Son of Barnabas 28.07.11 12:28pm
Son of Barnabas