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Terry Pratchett investigates assisted suicide, for the 12th time

Too bad taste? I felt bad as I was writing it...

Vertically Challenged Giant 15.06.11 9:49am
New soccer shocker: Premiership star 'repeatedly faithful to wife'

A Premiership star has allegedly been repeatedly faithful to his wife., The player has become mired in a fresh super-injunction row after taking action to ban reports of his niceness., The man,...

FraserWords 15.06.11 9:45am
US in diplomatic row with Tibet: Obama-Lama ding dong

As promised, Dave...

FraserWords 15.06.11 9:42am
Kipling scholars discover new poem: ‘Iffy’

Stunned scholars have discovered a poem they believe influenced Rudyard Kipling’s famously inspirational verse ‘If’., Entitled ‘Iffy’, the poem, by Kipling’s little-known cousin Stamford...

FraserWords 15.06.11 9:31am
Enid Blyton’s Three Gollywogs get PC

Fans of Enid Blyton are counting the days towards the launch of the updated version of The Three Gollywogs. In a forward written by former MP Anne Widdecombe she says, “Whilst the story line...

Dick Everyman 15.06.11 8:40am
Dick Everyman
Cardiff sheep population hot under the collar as Shearer deal falls through 0
charlies_hat 15.06.11 8:16am
NHS reforms to be allowed to ‘die with dignity’

David Cameron has confirmed that the government’s NHS bill will have its life ended by physician-assisted suicide. ‘We tried everything to save it,’ said Mr Cameron, ‘but the condition is...

Ludicity 15.06.11 6:53am
Al OPecia
14-year old Boy 'Wendy Licious' expresses outrage at fake lesbian blogs

A 14-year old male from Gloucester has expressed his outrage at the exposure of a string of 'fake' lesbian blogs. The blogs, perportedly written by lesbians in Damascus and Washington, were actually...

14.06.11 10:52pm
Judge Eady serves "Megainjunction" on entire Internet

The world's Internet users were thrown into near panic as the Hon. Justice Eady imposed a 12-month "Mega-injunction" forbidding all of them, regardless of their country of origin, from speaking...

JohnA 14.06.11 10:24pm
Filming on live-action Thomas The Tank Engine delayed by signal failure. 0
SingingHinny 14.06.11 9:56pm
New transparent plane allows passengers to see bits falling off the fuselage

Airbus today announced a new transparent plane, which should be ready by 2050, or ten to nine this evening. A spokesman for Airbus, Jeremy Thomsett, said : 'Making the plane transparent will give...

John Wiltshire 14.06.11 9:55pm
Andy Murray personally thanks fan for their timely “Come on Andy” commentary.

In a surprising move, Andy Murray personally sought out a fan from the crowd to thank her for her cry of “Come on Andy” during the recent final at Queens Club this week. Andy explained to...

spur of the moment 14.06.11 9:30pm
spur of the moment
Apple in DFS takeover bid

Apple is preparing to enter the UK sofa market with an ambitious bid to acquire DFS.,  , 'It makes complete sense,' says market analyst Rodney Wiles. 'Steve Jobs has long been an admirer of DFS...

roybland 14.06.11 8:17pm
Experience shows the less we talk to people the more we know about them 0
Dumbnews 14.06.11 8:05pm
US Forces credit Facebook's facial recognition feature for finding Bin Laden 0
Dumbnews 14.06.11 8:01pm
Inflation Rate at 4%: heroin cost increase offset by fall in prostitution fees

The latest "urban" inflation rate, designed to accurately reflect the costs of day to living in British cities was announced -the rate is unchanged at four percent. An increase in the cost of heroin...

steve_l 14.06.11 7:36pm
Man admitted to A&E said to be a health minister

A man treated last night at a London hospital is believed to be a government health minister.,  , 'A 54 year old man arrived last night at our A&E in a state of some distress,' a hospital...

roybland 14.06.11 6:56pm
Facebook contempt trial collapses after juror unfriends judge 0
Ludicity 14.06.11 6:31pm
Germaine Greer devastated to find that lesbians are just men in disguise.

Many teen boys and men devastated also. 'Next thing you know they'll be telling us that there's no such thing as the tooth fairy or Father Christmas.' said one limp wristed observer...

Mr Payne 14.06.11 6:00pm
Mr Payne
Charlotte Church gets own back at Gavin Henson, stars in "The Mistress"

More behind-his-back news later...

JohnA 14.06.11 5:44pm
Shock as people prefer reading fake lesbian blogs by men to real lesbians

"Unless there are two lesbians in the same blog then it gets interesting, especially late at night"...

JohnA 14.06.11 5:32pm
Coalition confirms  "Britain's got illness" approach to NHS commissioning

Health Minister Andrew Lansley has confirmed that the latest NHS reforms will require patients seeking treatment to be seen by a panel of three healthcare professionals, 'sitting behind a desk with...

NewSuburbanDad 14.06.11 5:29pm
Management Merry-Go-Round replaced with Waltzer

Sacked football managers will no longer climb aboard the proverbial Management Merry-Go-Round under new proposals by the League Managers Association. Chief Executive of the LMA Richard Bevan...

Midfield Diamond 14.06.11 5:21pm
Pippa moves to France - 'I'm putting the past behind me'

Pippa Middleton has announced that she is moving to France. In an interview with The Sun, she said: 'I'm putting the past behind me, or derriere moi as they say there. The bottom line is, people are...

John Wiltshire 14.06.11 4:23pm
Leicester City Council 'unprepared for many unlikely apocalyptic scenarios'

There was consternation in the East Midlands as people woke to the news that Leicester City Council was entirely unprepared for an invasion of zombies. "We're very sorry that we haven't prepared for...

JohnA 14.06.11 3:11pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
King of Lilliput blames Big Society for all social ills

In a shock statement targeted at the coalition the citizens of Lilliput have joined in with the row started by the Archbishop of Canterbury to voice their misgivings with David Cameron’s Big...

Dick Everyman 14.06.11 3:10pm
Dick Everyman
Ministers agree major NHS rewrite : voting between SHN and HNS 4
charlies_hat 14.06.11 3:07pm
Goat farmers upset at sexualisation of kids. 3
be reasonable 14.06.11 2:21pm
be reasonable
Pensioner ‘stable’ after Scottish Power refund

A pensioner from Dunfermline is in a stable condition today following a shock refund by Scottish Power. When Mrs Gladys McArthur, 92 saw the envelope from the utility company she sat down as usual...

Dick Everyman 14.06.11 1:05pm
Greek sovereign debt crisis: the Bubble bursts

Just getting my headline in early. Won't be long now...

Des Custard 14.06.11 11:50am
Des Custard