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Paper jam now more widespread than strawberry claim Hewlett Packard. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
"Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes" Traditional Norfolk first born anthem 2
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Diana handbags sell for £192,000 but no bid for Mercedes airbags 2
edward hack 4 years

Going, going, going....

No way will voters elect a Libran as PM 3
ramblesnake 4 years

say opponents of Diane Abbott...

New BBC show tries to spot the talent. 0
wallster 4 years

Graham Norton is to present a new BBC talent show which aims to select a leading lady for the smash hit West End musical, Wicked, from a group of footballers' wives set to include Colleen Rooney and...

Uckfield, Sussex, tipped to win World Cup 0
PluckyMunky 4 years
US sanctions against Iran ban them from winning any World Cup match 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Sotheby's to auction Pixie Lott 0
dicky37 4 years

In a bid to help combat the gross over-supply to the UK of vocal gymnasts, the famous auction house is preparing to put the pop starlet under the hammer...

Scientists agree counting sheep 'best way to ascertain number of sheep present' 0
dicky37 4 years

Studies conclude that, purely as a technique for quantifying the cumulative amount of farm animals in any given place, the age-old method of counting sheep comes out on top...

Big Brother abandoned as contestants can't be arsed to turn up 0
Scroat 4 years

Davina McCall's excitement leads to first spontaneous combustion on live TV. 'A huge media coup' comments production team...

PM to fly new flag over Downing Street 0
micra 4 years

Following the news that the David Cameron is to fly the flag of St. George during the forthcoming World Cup, he has also announced that he intends to fly the Skull and Crossbones on Budget Day....

World cup players wager meal on international hostilities 0
simonjmr 4 years

Wayne Ronney and Robiniho have entered into a wager that if international hostilities or sanctions are imposed during the World Cup the loser will have to buy the winner a slap up steak dinner in a...

P Dav Cam to annou extre budg cu 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Twins mow down Edward and Laurence Fox in revenge attack 0
Iamthestig 4 years
"Double Dip" great says nostalgic thirty something 0
simonjmr 4 years
Cuts made in budget to redecorate God's sitting room 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Cameron delighted by heavenly prudence. Clegg says: 'I don't believe a word of it'...

England World Cup song sung "A Cappello" 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Al Fayed claims immigrant's English test is a "fugging outrage". 1
Ian Searle 4 years
Daily Mail 'Maddy abducted by foreign urban foxes' theory 0
Scroat 4 years
Mutes banned from minutes silence 0
Bury Bob 4 years

In a step to banish insincerity at gatherings which include a minutes silence, sufferers lacking the power of articulate speech are being asked to stay away. This may also be extended to mimes, but a...

Capello goes crazy at photographer's after not getting his good side. 2
Basil_B 4 years
'World Cup fever' strikes UK, government begins needlessly stockpiling vaccines 1
dicky37 4 years

Health Minister takes firm but misguided steps to 'tackle tide of sick days resulting from epidemic of World Cup fever, and reduce effect on British business'. Drug companies reportedly 'quite...

Navy anti-drug smuggling unit to reclassify cocaine as Class 42 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Sun Sub-editor Fired over "Foxy Twins Midnight Romp" Mix-up 0
lord_wingnut 4 years

Following an internal disciplinary hearing today, the Sun has revealed that the sub-editor responsible for yesterday's Page 3 article (Norman Normal, 19) had not demonstrated the required...

Hungry urban foxes to be paid for reducing refuse volumes 0
Nattie 4 years

However they will be fined if they fail to poop and scoop after recycling Britains estimated one million tonnes of food waste. More later...

Photographer's check lost property as Capello loses temper with them. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Police issue warning to parents of missing toddler, "Ready or not we're coming" 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Ron Davies Cup to be awarded for finding balls on Clapham Common 0
PluckyMunky 4 years
Isle of Wight forget to end minutes silence 4
edward hack 4 years

Embarassed council officials on the Isle of Wight are set to end a minutes silence that started back in 1897., It seems the minutes silence, held in honour of the then island mascot, a tortoise...

Grief Counselling to replace Geography in the National Curriculum 0
lord_wingnut 4 years

"Subject lists will not be disrupted." a spokesperson said...