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Nobel Chemistry Prize awarded for novel wallpaper pattern. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 05.10.11 6:22pm
Pakistani cricketers claim racism as "only asian team members" face trial. 0
dvo4fun 05.10.11 5:17pm
dvo4fun
I lie all the time, admits journalist

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I find that journalists are ‘making stuff up’, I admitted yesterday. As a professional who started writing copy in a sweaty, cigarette-filled...

5
Zadok the second 05.10.11 4:57pm
Gerontius
James Murdoch wins Nobel Prize for Literature - "For Outstanding Fiction"

News International Chairman, James Murdoch, has been awarded this year's Nobel Prize for literature for his "outstanding contribution to fiction." The citation reads; "Mr Murdoch has created an...

2
apepper 05.10.11 4:07pm
Apple CEO happy as life saving op delayed for equipment's software update

Surgeons who were anxious to begin a new round of treatment on Steve Jobs have been delayed as equipment has automatically embarked on a lengthy software update. "Oh well, fair enough, updating...

7
ronseal 05.10.11 3:53pm
Rowly
Mass stranding of Liberal MPs expected after Tories unveil new policies 0
simonjmr 05.10.11 3:06pm
simonjmr
Apple boss forgets phone at phone launch 6
ED209 05.10.11 2:52pm
dvo4fun
British woman dies in New York, the day Knox arrives back in US tabloids fume. 1
MADJEZ 05.10.11 2:38pm
dvo4fun
Cameron offers to 'Consolidate your debts into one low monthly payment' 0
Screenie 05.10.11 2:01pm
Screenie
Unpronounceable surnames leads to rise in Deed Poles

hat tip to Bogumierz Waszkiewicz...

0
vertical 05.10.11 1:19pm
vertical
Cameron to re-draft conference address after "Rubbishy Twaddle and Bunken" found

There was further confusion and embaressment for the Conservative Party during their conference this week when in was discovered that David Cameron would be rewritting parts of his speech after a...

0
thisisall1word 05.10.11 12:53pm
thisisall1word
Italian Police say Forte Knox is not a US army base 0
RJWinter 05.10.11 12:46pm
RJWinter
"I'll pay off your credit card debt" says Cameron

To people who only hear what they want to hear...

0
greg various 05.10.11 12:03pm
greg various
Greece avoids defaulting by crossing fingers & claiming "fainites - no returns". 0
seymour totti 05.10.11 11:59am
seymour totti
Clear off your card debt, and then just Clear Off, says Cameron 2
Drylaw 05.10.11 11:38am
bonjonelson
IOW residents 'speechless' as the Jazz Singer hits cinema screen

"Talkies will never take off" said one Shankiln resident yesterday as unheralded crowds of 25 people queued outside the Shanklin Odeon to witness the all singing, dancing and talking Jazz Singer for...

0
simonjmr 05.10.11 11:29am
simonjmr
UK pubs win rights not to show ESPN football coverage 0
simonjmr 05.10.11 11:21am
simonjmr
"Our future lies in magic beans" claims Cameron 0
simonjmr 05.10.11 11:18am
simonjmr
Wilkinson hits back at 'doubters'

In a press conference this morning to announce Jonny Wilkinson fit to play France in the World Cup Quarter final clash Jonny hit out at those that had been suggesting his injury may be a boost for...

0
Screenie 05.10.11 11:09am
Screenie
Dexia Bank's midnight runner fears. More soon

I was logging on to post this (sad but true) but think I may have heard Eddie Mair in the background using it on R4. Or it may have been the voices in my head. Either way. Fish. Barrel. Sorry...

4
dvo4fun 05.10.11 11:00am
dvo4fun
Jolie shows world what an under-nourished woman looks like 0
Gary Baldy 05.10.11 10:26am
Gary Baldy
Self-righteous plant geneticist announces development of moral maize

with a rye grin...

1
John Ffitch-Rucker 05.10.11 10:18am
vertical
Womankind expresses eternal grattitude to Sure for making them wear little bells

Women of the world united today to declare their appreciation of the work of deodorant company Sure which, through getting them to wear little tiny bells to show what busy little bees they often are,...

4
DrTurmoil 05.10.11 10:12am
Gerontius
Italy's style rating slashed

The plight of the Italian economy is having a profound effect on the country's dress sense as Milan's Golden Quad shopping district, once the home the flagship Gucci, Versace and Valentino stores,...

0
spoole2112 05.10.11 10:11am
spoole2112
God Love you but fucking hates me, says research 0
ronseal 05.10.11 10:01am
ronseal
New iPhone has better camera. In other news, world economy has collapsed.

The world was stunned yesterday when a new, slightly improved, iPhone was released. A user explained, "I don't take any photographs, but having a better camera swings the deal for me - I'm buying...

1
apepper 05.10.11 10:00am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Man flunks interview for Nightclub Doorman as he admits to being good with peopl 0
ronseal 05.10.11 9:44am
ronseal
Tony Blair called in to arbitrate on poodle row

Tony Blair has been asked to bring his years of political experience to bear on a vexed question: should poodle owners be allowed to use hairspray on their pooches’ topknots? Flying in to take up...

0
Clarky 05.10.11 9:29am
Clarky
Simpsons cannot continue without key cuts, says Fox 0
simonjmr 05.10.11 9:29am
simonjmr
Ed Milliiband "speaks fluent SEO"

To some, the craft of search engine optimisation takes a little practice. But not for Ed Milliband. Getting those all-important keywords into the first paragraph comes naturally to the Labour leader....

1
Boutros 05.10.11 9:22am
Boutros