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Three million Brits take four day break - EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T HAVE A JOB!

Nearly three million Brits took advantage of the long Bank Holiday weekend - even though they don't have a job. Brenda Wills (56) said that although her neighbours are unemployed, 'they still sat...

roybland 05.06.12 8:05pm
Boring, Oregon twinning with Dull, Scotland prompts Response

Fucking, Austria & A, Norway announce plans to twin...

RickH 05.06.12 8:03pm
New superbug, dubbed "Jubilee Fever" set to decimate UK population. 2
05.06.12 7:32pm
Boring man survives near-life experience 1
Dumbnews 05.06.12 7:12pm
Al OPecia
Prince Philip feeling better and racially abusing staff say jubilant Royals

more later...

virtuallywill 05.06.12 6:17pm
Jubilee catheter to be auctioned for charity 0
05.06.12 5:41pm
Twitter In A Tizz As First Extraterrestrial Opens Account

Twitter and its popularity in celeb circles is no secret; attracting as it does accounts by A-Listers as diverse as Britney Spears and the Dalai Lama. But now in what's believed to be first for the...

Duff 05.06.12 5:28pm
Merkel concedes kindest thing would be to have Greece put to sleep. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.06.12 4:22pm
U-Turn Latest; government restores Cromwellian republic

In a shock move, the government has overturned it's previous opposition to the Commonwealth created by Oliver Cromwell. "Serious times need serious government.", explained David Cameron, dressed in...

apepper 05.06.12 4:11pm
Plug pulled from final squad

A leading cartoon character from children’s comic The Beano is said to be ‘gutted’ after being left out of the 23 man England squad for Euro 2012, , Central defender Plug , who has not missed...

Gerontius 05.06.12 2:29pm
Unpaid spectators forced to sleep in Hyde Park..more later 0
Bismarck 05.06.12 2:05pm
Police hunt for puppet thief

Police in London are mounting a major operation to find the person responsible for stealing The Duchess of Cornwall's glove puppet. The puppet, which Camilla has cherished since she was a little...

Bismarck 05.06.12 2:03pm
Robbie Williams "tempted" by Jubilee line. 2
nickb 05.06.12 1:35pm
al-Qaeda confirm they will close the Olympic opening ceremony

McCartney later...

virtuallywill 05.06.12 12:26pm
Philip involved in yet another Conspiracy Theory.

Controversy surrounds the Prince's sudden (some say "convenient") illness, which prevented him from attending the Queen's Jubilee Concert, featuring such beloved institutions as Sir Cliff Richard and...

rob box 05.06.12 11:43am
rob box
Selectors swept up in Jubilee fever as Queen named in Olympic rowing team

The Queen admits to being “thrilled” at her selection as coxswain for the Great Britain women’s rowing eight on the back of an awesome recent performance down the Thames where she led a boat to...

Yikes 05.06.12 11:16am
UN stands by as Jubilee is inflicted on nation

In possibly the worst case of its kind in history, an entire nation has had a Jubilee inflicted upon it over an extended period while the rest of the world stood by. Yet again, the ability of the...

Des Custard 05.06.12 11:09am
Old lady passes 60th year in dead-end job

86-year-old Elizabeth Windsor today marked the passing of her 60th year in a dead-end job that she has held since 1952 and which affords her no real responsibility, no prospects of progression and...

Long Distance Clara 05.06.12 11:01am
Breivik judge caught playing solitaire: "Doom seemed inappropriate!" 0
charlieworth 05.06.12 8:21am
Greek bailout....?

Greece offers to bail out Britain if Prince Phillip dies. "After the banking crisis and paying for the Jubilee and Olympics, the worst thing that can happen now is paying for a state funeral", says...

ionb 05.06.12 6:55am
Jubilee beacons mistake as 6000 Rohirrem arrive

A "breakdown in communications" has been blamed on the sudden arrival of 6000 heavily armed horsemen...

apepper 05.06.12 6:18am
Plumbers disappointed with the new range of Jubilee clips 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 05.06.12 5:38am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Royal family "Delighted by 100m by 75m photograph of Mark Phillips" 2
antharrison 04.06.12 11:28pm
Liverpool Echo - "Punch Joey Barton and win a Metro"

Liverpool Echo - "Punch Joey Barton and win a Metro"...

BillyBitzer 04.06.12 11:25pm
Philip tells Duchess of Cambridge he'd have prefered a tug 2
tedweasel 04.06.12 11:18pm
Jubilee beacon lighting ruined by oversensitive smoke alarm and sprinkler system 0
seymour totti 04.06.12 10:38pm
seymour totti
Kylie set cut short in row over 'pearly SS uniform', Bryan Ferry duet cancelled. 1
MADJEZ 04.06.12 10:37pm
seymour totti
Rio Ferdinand selected for Olympic Back-pedalling event.

Tweets "I owe it all to Woy for not picking me for Euro 2012. He's a legend"...

RickH 04.06.12 9:38pm
Chat up line about Titanic voted "worst way to break the ice" 0
quango 04.06.12 9:26pm
Scientists Generate Headlines With Headline Generator

Spending five years and three million pounds of public money on a questionable study may seem like every researcher's dream, but the real reward comes when the study is done and various papers give...

Textbook 04.06.12 9:03pm