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UBS rogue trader distraught as he fails to get a financial scam named after him

Kweku Adoboli's attempt to have his name last forever through having a scam named after him has failed. In a ruling from the European Court of Financial Scam Names, his attempt to be nominated in the...

0
brownpaperreporter 27.09.11 7:33am
brownpaperreporter
Men! Turn your Four AM tinkle into a tweet 0
Drylaw 27.09.11 7:32am
Drylaw
Hollywood Filmmakers Urged To Reconsider "Show, Don't Tell" Policy 0
Textbook 27.09.11 2:01am
Textbook
Flash still won't work on new iPhone - but Cillit Bang does.

Bang. And the dirt, all your contacts and your entire iTunes library is gone...

2
Boutros 26.09.11 11:37pm
Boutros
THE FUHRER RECITES

Comrades, in safe deposit box of the Schikelguber family, following masterpiece was discovered with used condoms with names of ladies written on same, apparent “trophy condoms” of future...

0
yuri_nahl 26.09.11 11:35pm
yuri_nahl
Convicted polonium 210 killer receives half-life sentence. 4
spoole2112 26.09.11 11:17pm
Boutros
Onion, Newsbiscuit, Losing Audience To Fox News Online 0
Textbook 26.09.11 10:16pm
Textbook
Scandal: Shadow Chancellor a skinhead after Miliband shaves his Balls 0
Perks 26.09.11 10:00pm
Perks
Monkeys Write Shakespeare; "Hollyoaks is Next"

An experiment using millions of virtual monkeys has generated 99.99% of the complete works of Shakespeare. The programmer in charge commented, "Once this is complete, I thought what next? And...

1
apepper 26.09.11 9:57pm
dvo4fun
Berlusconi found guilty - to be fed to the Christians

more to come...

0
edmartin 26.09.11 9:56pm
edmartin
Tuition fees cut risks pole dancer shortage

Lap dance club owner Peter Strongfellow has slammed Ed Miliband's stated intention to cut University Tuition fees as "ill conceived and barely thought through", claiming it could "wreak havoc across...

8
Ironduke 26.09.11 9:53pm
dvo4fun
Travellers to ply a different trade

"Need any legal advice mate, only I've got some left over from another job."...

3
greg various 26.09.11 9:49pm
dvo4fun
Weapons company fires staff

Boom! Boom!...

1
greg various 26.09.11 9:39pm
dvo4fun
Spontaneous combustion threat to elderly this winter, Government warns

Thousands of Britain's elderly could die this winter through spontaneous combustion, according to the government. The warning comes a few days after an Irish coroner decided that Michel Faherty, 76,...

5
roybland 26.09.11 9:39pm
edmartin
Climate change agnostics demand the right to send kids to non faith schools

Agnostics, who aren't sure whether or not there's an omnipotent deity in the sky who wants us all to follow Al Gore, are to be allowed to send their children to new, non faith schools, where they can...

6
ronseal 26.09.11 9:37pm
dvo4fun
Microsoft attempts to win over middle classes with Awnings for Windows. 0
dominic_mcg 26.09.11 9:33pm
dominic_mcg
Ed Balls apologises for not beating Miliband in leadership election

Plenty more soon....

1
medici2471 26.09.11 9:30pm
edmartin
National Anthems are changing faster than they can be Recorded

The 2012 Olympics have been thrown into chaos by the surge in the number of national anthems. A spokesman for the London Symphony Orchestra, who are recording all the anthems for the forthcoming...

0
apepper 26.09.11 9:22pm
apepper
Healthy living adds days to your life, but removes life from your days 0
Dumbnews 26.09.11 9:00pm
Dumbnews
REPOST Egyptian hieroglyphs early version of Facebook claims archaeologist

Mark Zuckerberg CEO for Facebook has today been served a cease and desist order issued on behalf of the Egyptian government, claiming that he stole the idea for Facebook from the ancient Egyptians....

2
simonjmr 26.09.11 8:57pm
kga6
Computer Simulations Verify that Shakespeare was Originally Written by Monkeys

New evidence has been found to support the theory that the entire works of Shakespeare were first written by a room of monkeys with typewriters. A recent excavation, just off Henley Street,...

0
kga6 26.09.11 8:06pm
kga6
Box containing 200 things worth fuck all found in the solent 0
RJWinter 26.09.11 7:58pm
RJWinter
Labour leader to apologise for being Labour leader

Ed Miliband will apologise to this week's Labour conference in Liverpool for being the party's leader. The move comes as a damming opinion poll in the Sun reveals just one in 20 voters think he is a...

1
roybland 26.09.11 7:50pm
vertical
Miliband denies trialling prototype invisibility cloak

Due to appear in Liverpool tomorrow...

0
medici2471 26.09.11 7:44pm
medici2471
Knox is diabolical, says Italian lawyer - breaking news from 1554

no more soon...

0
medici2471 26.09.11 7:38pm
medici2471
Apple unveils 'Appacino', app that downloads coffee direct to your phone

Apple has today announced its latest groundbreaking app - the Appacino. For just £2.50 a go, the Appacino will download the coffee of your choice direct to your phone. Apple is convinced it will...

3
tvhack 26.09.11 7:21pm
JohnA
£150m of silver found over 1 mile under the Atlantic

In other news, Cameron buys Clegg a snorkel as an early Christmas present...

0
Perks 26.09.11 6:44pm
Perks
Virtual Monkeys defeated by Windows online help. 0
Al OPecia 26.09.11 6:32pm
Al OPecia
Le Constant Gardener, 2011, 1789 mins, (PG)

A high-flying French politician and amateur horticulturalist, Nicolas Sarkozy, finds his monotonous life turned upside down after he falls in love with a beautiful young activist named Carla....

2
flim-flam 26.09.11 5:28pm
rikkor
Gordon Brown to give Ed Miliband lessons in sincerity, charm & 'natural warmth'

More later...

0
dvo4fun 26.09.11 3:06pm
dvo4fun