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Dead celebrities lead the way towards a better Britain. 1
wallster 4 years

The government has today promised a new drive to help improve public morale during these troubled financial times. Culture minister Ed Vaizey announced the policy at a press conference by the...

Scientist claims mid-life crisis reason for driving instructor trainee increase 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

Police also uphold this claim, citing several unsavoury cases where podgy, balding men who have given up 20 years in IT, have tried to introduce young females to the seedier sides of life One...

Study into public sector overmanning unveils two identical Prime Ministers 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

An investigation into duplication in the public sector has exposed two identical public school boys doing the prime minister's job - each on full wages., Further probing found that the nation now...

newsbisquit credit rating downgraded 0
4ty2 4 years

Following the presentation of "have you been injured" by the accident advice helpline represent the beginning adverts indicates the reduction in marketing value of the site. As interactive marketing...

Student ‘traumatised’ after library visit horror 8
roybland 4 years

An undergraduate who mistook his university's library for a bar is being offered counselling to help him recover from the trauma. Third year geography student Bill Wilkinson said he was on his way...

BBC turns to vivisection; 10 female presenters tested for The One Show 1
thackaray 4 years
Obama disappointed by British PM, he was expecting to meet Cameron Diaz. 1
Ian Searle 4 years
Obama: Uk is 'Special' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'This is why we have to overlook them letting mass killers out and being the home of the people who poisoned our shoreline'...

LATEST: UK demands prisoner return as Al-Megrahi begins 'leaking oil' 0
pinxit 4 years

'War of Al-Megrahi's Prostate' set to burst...

God believes in Tinkerbell in Mutually Assured Deity effect 0
Erlang 4 years

Secret papers reveal even God is hedging his bets., Leading theologians and academics are still refusing to acknowledge that God will cease to be if people stop believing. Papers released under...

Cameron to have talks with Obama over 'killer release' 8
edward hack 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron is to have talks with US President Barak Obama later today over the release of toxic gases from a chemical plant, formerly run by US Company Union Carbide., The release...

E-bay crashes after sudden demand for Police-grade Tasers by S&M groups. 0
pinxit 4 years

"Groining under the strain"...

Cameron and Obama ‘Almost ready to discuss difficult issues’ 0
antharrison 4 years

After an intense eight-hour meeting between President Obama and David Cameron, White House spokesman Rich Jefferson confirmed that the pair are on the verge of discussing the thorny issues of the...

Cameron and Obama call for Dignitas 'intervention' in Al-Megrahi dispute. 0
pinxit 4 years

'The least he could do is fall on his scimitar'...

Flip flop salesman "unsure he made the right choice" 1
simonjmr 4 years
Mad Hatter lands mercury nomination 1
simonjmr 4 years

"It sorts out my felt lovely, but the teeth loss, itching and pink cheeks are a bit of a blancmange" said J'ame Milliner. More soon...

Karzai reaffirms 2014 goal of getting a new robe 0
Dumbnews 4 years
RSPCA to investigate as depressed IT Manager re-boots cat 0
riesler 4 years

miaow soon...

Vicar enjoys uneventful afternoon tea at middle class couple's home 7
Oxbridge 4 years

When Terry and June Donaldson's 13-year-old son Alexander joined the church choir at St Mark's in the pretty Devon village of Bovey Tracey, the Reverend Brian Watts feared it was only a matter of...

Voodoo practitioner scalps lawn with 'stupid' lawnmower height adjustment 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Katie Price “Raped” by Margaret Thatcher 2
newbietryer 4 years

Serial rape victim Jordan today claimed that society raped her of a decent upbringing. A child brought up in the eighties, the former face of Kwik Save says she holds Thatcher and her government...

asinine ad men assume Equus asinus acquiesces. 0
Erlang 4 years

Russian police hope to ensure shit falls from a great height...

BP “furious” after US seawater contaminates oil well 1
newbietryer 4 years

“We can’t refine it if it has seaweed in it “ – BP spokesperson...

Hadron Collider's scope scaled down as CERN attempts to detect storm in teacup 0
dicky37 4 years

[More soon]...

National days of mourning to be cut by 50% to create half days of morning 0
dicky37 4 years

[More soon]...

Illness ravages Macca's body as Penny Lane now 'in his ears and in his eyes' 0
dicky37 4 years

[More soon]...

Policeman's arm seen on street, explained! Residents reassured. 0
hero2zero 4 years

Residents of a London suburb, alarmed at the vision of a Policeman's arm patrolling the streets were reassured when they learnt that only 10% of today's police are visible on the streets. One...

Nervous Cameron had "hidden monkeys", aide explains 3
simonjmr 4 years
Octopus to head up OBR 2
thogg 4 years

Paul the octopus has succeeded Sir Alan Budd as head of the independent Office for Budget Responibility which forecasts growth for the UK economy. It is believed that he joined them on free transfer...

Non-emergency vehicles get green-light for 'blue-light' license 0
QorbeQ 4 years

The government has released details of planned changes to road traffic legislation, granting non-emergency vehicles the same road privileges as the emergency services 'provided they cough up'. The...