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New Iphone Sensation: "Angry Kurds"

Chillingo, publishers of the mega-hit iphone/ipad game Angry Birds are please to announce the follow-up Angry Kurds, which according to their website is a "cheerful trivialisation" of the well-known...

10
Textbook 06.09.11 6:03pm
Qoxiivi
Beating of fish at their factories 'codswallop' claim Birds Eye 9
Screenie 06.09.11 5:40pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
'More riot training not necessary' say rioters

Well I thought they got it just about right...

0
Gerontius 06.09.11 5:22pm
Gerontius
Fr Ted's Bishop Brennan Brings Court Action Against Channel 4

In a landmark case, believed to be the first of its kind anywhere in the world, Bishop Leonard Brennan, a fictitious character from Channel 4's popular 90s comedy, Fr Ted, is to sue for ill treatment...

0
Duff 06.09.11 5:21pm
Duff
60-Watt Bulb Ban To Ruin Prison Cell Feng Shui

Long-term Feltham Prison inmate Dave 'The Chainsaw Butcher' looks up at the shade-less light bulb hanging above his head. 'The circle is extremely powerful and encloses the inconspicuous after...

6
UnoEye 06.09.11 4:39pm
rikkor
Cowell Unveils Plans For The Next Generation Of Reality TV

It's art imitating life imitating art. Broadcaster ITV has revealed plans for TV mogul Simon Cowell's latest reality show due to be screened in the run up to this Christmas. [i]Let's Do The Whole...

0
Duff 06.09.11 3:38pm
Duff
Unprecedented demand amongst male IT workers for cosmetic scars

Soft-skinned men in the IT industry are flocking to cosmetic surgeons for the latest 'vanity' treatments. Tired of being accused of 'never doing a hard day's work in their life', computer operatives...

20
06.09.11 3:30pm
riesler
Reith Would Of Blown A Gasket If He Had Of Seen This

A leaked BBC memo is about to drive linguists wild and throw the grammar police into a right tizz. Because in sensational new guidelines it appears that top brass within the corporation have approved...

12
Duff 06.09.11 3:12pm
writinginbsl
Fuhrer-ious chancellor Balls denies deathcard accusations

http://tinyurl.com/3ldgc6c Rumours that shadow chancellor Ed Balls retaliated against Tory critics of his 'fag-packet' economic policies by leaving deathcards on ministerial car windscreens, were...

0
vertical 06.09.11 3:05pm
vertical
Dale Farm Travellers to be charged with misrepresentation 0
LittleSpender 06.09.11 2:33pm
LittleSpender
Save BBC4 petition validity challenged after Only Way is Essex cast signed 0
simonjmr 06.09.11 1:59pm
simonjmr
Wolf makes comeback in France

Michael Van Wijk the professional sportsman, bodybuilder, actor and TV presenter, most famous for as Wolf on British TV endurance sports game show Gladiators, has made a surprising comeback in France...

1
simonjmr 06.09.11 1:19pm
Iamthestig
Darling admits Gordon Brown was nicknamed "Melchett" during his time in office

Maaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...

0
Iamthestig 06.09.11 1:16pm
Iamthestig
Journalist hopes for protracted peace in Libya to maximise Hotel loyalty points 0
Iamthestig 06.09.11 1:13pm
Iamthestig
Tony Blair lands role as Michael Sheen in new Biopic

In a press release earlier today Warner Brothers confirmed the long speculated rumour that Tony Blair had landed the lead part in a new biopic about the life of actor Michael Sheen. At a press...

0
Mr_Johno 06.09.11 1:03pm
Mr_Johno
Churchill the dog treated for depression over constant accusations of lying

A source close to the nodding bulldog from Churchill insurance’s adverts has revealed that the iconic star has checked into a clinic to deal with severe depression. The condition is believed to...

1
Vertically Challenged Giant 06.09.11 12:05pm
borednow
Conan the Librarian Cert 18

A dark disturbing thriller about a body building,sword waving bisexual librarian,suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder.Brilliant a must see., ...

1
Family Guy 06.09.11 11:50am
Griffin
Cache of flint weapons ‘stashed by gangs for future riots’ claims Sky reporter

A recently unearthed hoard of prehistoric flint arrow heads and axes had been secretly stored by a criminal gang of youths in anticipation of further rioting in the nation’s capital, Sky News...

0
jp1885 06.09.11 11:13am
jp1885
"Flashmobs gone wrong, main cause of UK riots" say Government

Ken Clarke today has called for the immediate banning of "Flashmobs" as he has prove that they are directly linked to the cause of the recent UK riots. Writing in Fascism Today , he said the...

0
simonjmr 06.09.11 10:54am
simonjmr
Alternative Cliche Hunt Begins as Forth Bridge paintathon concludes.

Scottish parliament sounded the death knell of tiresome task metaphors this week as the cushiest number in contracting finally came to a tacky end. Patrons of the bridge had a belated epiphany, after...

9
f0zz 06.09.11 10:40am
Duff
Tim Cook Announces Iphone6

In a bold move, newly appointed Apple chief Tim Cook today announced that the hotly rumoured iphone5 was in fact the iphone6. "It was developed as the iphone5 but towards the end of the development...

3
Textbook 06.09.11 9:43am
Qoxiivi
Edinburgh University introduces staggering fees.

Students attending the Scottish university were shocked to learn they could soon be paying as much as £9,000 a year in fines if found 'straying left and right', 'wandering about aimlessly', or...

5
Boutros 06.09.11 9:32am
dvo4fun
Arthur Scargill is Carol Thatcher's secret godfather

Following revelations that Tony Blair is godfather to Rupert Murdoch's daughter Christina, it has been revealed that former prime minister Margaret Thatcher was successful in her efforts to persuade...

3
antharrison 06.09.11 9:30am
dvo4fun
Scottish Tories chose name for new party: New Labour 0
arnied 06.09.11 8:52am
arnied
New Zealand Unveils New Rugby World Cup Slogan

"Yes, people still play it."...

0
Textbook 06.09.11 7:32am
Textbook
Free schools made of Lego easily dismantled when policy changes next year 2
dvo4fun 06.09.11 7:07am
writinginbsl
Worlds oldest woman reveals secret to longievity

1. Not being in serious accidents, 2. Cooking with olive oil, and not engine oil, 3. Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol over a prolonged period rather than binge drinking., 4. Driving a Volvo,...

6
gaijintendo 06.09.11 6:53am
Ostsee
Google plan major re-launch of Google+

Whatever happened to all the hype around this? Surely there is a good joke somewhere...

0
Dumbnews 06.09.11 4:24am
Dumbnews
World Record Brussel Sprouts Demand on Christmas Day May Cause World Shortage

Uber-Vegetarian Paul McCartney has denied ordering staff at his homes in the UK and USA to stockpile Brussel Sprouts for his family to eat this christmas following fears of a world shortage caused by...

0
Plantarian 05.09.11 7:00pm
Plantarian
Milky Bar Kid "responsible for obesity crisis".

He was strong and tough, and only the best was good enough, but now The Milky Bar Kid faces widespread condemnation for singlehandedly kicking off what experts say could be a crisis of epidemic...

5
nickb 05.09.11 6:00pm
nickb