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Labour hails breakthrough which allows access to the thoughts of coma patients 0
dvo4fun 01.02.12 3:32pm
Clarkson defends new series of 'The Black and White Top Gear Show'

Controversial car botherer Jeremy Clarkson has defended the latest series of the Sunday tea-time race-row programme, 'The Black and White Top Gear Show'. Clarkson and his co-presenters have been...

01.02.12 3:02pm
Lawyers confirm Rosie Redknapp 'not a happy bunny' but a very rich doggie 0
simonjmr 01.02.12 2:07pm
Fred Goodwin sacked from Channel 4's "Deal or no deal" 0
antharrison 01.02.12 2:00pm
Helen Skelton to join Ellen MacArthur in new bid for World Yachting Record.

" This time, it won't be Plain Sailing.", Say's Spokesperson., "And btw . This time, don't expect ME to look after the cat."...

rob box 01.02.12 1:56pm
rob box
Helen Skelton to join Ellen MacArthur in new bid for World Yachting Record. 0
rob box 01.02.12 1:40pm
rob box
Fred Goodwin awarded title of ‘Banker’ under new dishonours system

Following the decision to strip former RBS boss Fred Goodwin of his knighthood, Buckingham Palace has unveiled a new dishonours system to recognise those who have made a ‘substantial and prolonged...

Long Distance Clara 01.02.12 12:55pm
Golgeau Treize
Mrs Brian Cox admits that she often has trouble locating her husband 1
medici2471 01.02.12 12:22pm
Al OPecia
Angela Merkel to present Fred Goodwin with Iron Cross

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has spoken in gushing terms about her agent Fred Goodwin, ahead of the ceremony to present him with the Iron Cross. "By undermining the value of the paper on which...

01.02.12 12:20pm
Health and Safety Executive to ban emotional roller-coasters. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.02.12 11:45am
Al OPecia
Queen shreds Goodwin's knighthood. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 01.02.12 10:56am
Sainsbury rename Lion Bar the 'High Fibre Diet Turd Bar' 0
charlies_hat 01.02.12 10:31am
Calls for Sir Max Mosley to be stripped 0
medici2471 01.02.12 9:30am
Dyson launch the electrically heated loft-ladder

James Dyson, the designer of many innovative products no-one knew they needed, announced his company's latest must-have domestic appliance at a press conference today. "A large proportion of...

dvo4fun 01.02.12 9:16am
Burke's Peerage reveals obligatory 'Twat' title to be added to Honours process 0
pere floza 01.02.12 8:58am
pere floza
Man undergoing brain surgery is thinking 'F************ck!!!'

More brainwaves soon...

Scroat 01.02.12 8:32am
Hester to be knighted and deknighted on same day. Then slapped. 0
cinquecento 01.02.12 7:10am
Barclays' Bob Cubic-Zirconia protests as Queen strips him of diamond status 0
cinquecento 01.02.12 7:06am
Fred Goodwin stripped of 50 yds Scottish swimmer award,only left with pension

more cash later...

virtuallywill 01.02.12 3:27am
Hawking: "I'll now communicate by fax only." 2
hughesroland 01.02.12 2:39am
ASDA rebrand 'Smart Price' after customers realise it 'Tastes Like Shit'

Following on from the announcement by Sainsbury’s that they are changing the name of their tiger bread to ‘giraffe bread’ after receiving a letter from a 3 year old saying the pattern looked...

Perks 01.02.12 12:50am
Tories rebranded as 'Posh Twits' following letter from girl, 3

A letter to the Government from a 3 year old girl has been circulating the internet with such speed and support that David Cameron has agreed to rename his party 'The Posh Twits'. The circulating...

kga6 01.02.12 12:06am
Engineers stumble upon low carbon-foot print green car, the Used car 0
Dumbnews 31.01.12 11:43pm
Cockney Pilots scare air passengers

A recent survey has found that when on an airplane, passengers are more relaxed whilst coming in to land when the pilot has a 'posh' accent, as opposed to a regional twang., Cockney pilots top the...

Marko 31.01.12 10:46pm
Low-cost airline to refuel in local petrol stations

Due to another increase of airport fuel duties, renowned low-cost airline O'Really!Air today announced their decision to use specially adapted petrol stations to refuel their fleet of aircraft. CEO...

markbuontempo 31.01.12 10:39pm
Man receives useful email

A Manchester man was today said to be "Stunned" after receiving an email which asked him to attend a business meeting in March. "It wasn't even from Groupon, Woucher, TripAdvisor, eBay, Amazon, an...

antharrison 31.01.12 10:30pm
Canine-friendly golf club remote car park is awarded AAA dogging status

The management committee at Heston Moor Golf Club in Birmingham is said to be delighted at the award of AAA status by the British Dogging Association. "As a long-established golf club with a keen...

antharrison 31.01.12 10:28pm
Fred Goodwin: "My ears will be cold in bed" shock horror 0
Scroat 31.01.12 10:05pm
British Tourists denied entry into the U.S. Due to Tweet

Two British tourists were recently denied entry into the U.S. because one of them had tweeted that he planned to "destroy" America-- a word he defended as slang for partying hard. In a related...

Couriernew 31.01.12 9:45pm
Fred Goodwin : Worse than Hitler say Daily Mail. 0
MADJEZ 31.01.12 8:56pm