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East Midlands Airport bomb alert caused 'a terrible freight', says BAA. 0
The Paper Ostrich 4 years
"Pinch, Punch first of the month" - not a defence for spousal abuse 1
simonjmr 4 years
Leafy suburb terrorised by 'trick or treat' interpretive street dance gang 14
Golgo13 4 years

Families across the London borough of Ealing were left paralysed with fear last night after receiving a visit from a group of trick-or-treaters who performed dance interpretations of 'losing your...

Alcohol is more enjoyable with crack or heroin 2
arflaethel 4 years

Alcohol is more fun with heroin or crack cocaine, according to a new study by Professor David Nutt, the government's chief drug adviser, following one of his five day benders. In an Article...

"Work wife" to divorce after polygamy discovered 4
simonjmr 4 years

James Bracknell (36) has today been served with divorce proceedings from his "work wife" Emma Morgan after the discovery that Mr Bracknell not only had an real wife, but a "train wife", "lunch wife"...

Coleen Rooney fumes at reporter that his stay at the worlds most expensive 0
arrghgarry 4 years

hotel was paid for by the Daily mail ,where as they had to work nearly a full day to pay for their trip...

Young man wants to delve into Joseph helliers mind by reading 2
arrghgarry 4 years

his signature novel, but runs out of money...

Bel Ami are the sixth victim of Cher Lloyd's lucky heather scam 0
simonjmr 4 years
"Where's the dirtiest, uncomfortablist place you've had it?" campaign launched 4
simonjmr 4 years

Breast Cancer Awareness have today launched another Facebook status campaign, the focus of this campaign is "Where's the dirtiest, most uncomfortablist place you've had it". So far the most common...

thisisall1word presents Dan Brown's 'The Missing Piece: Endgame' 1
thisisall1word 4 years

Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge., - Psalms (ch. XIX, v. 2) - from The Bible There is nothing ugly; I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an...

Thatcher in world's first brain transplant 3
dogwheels 4 years

Former prime minister Margaret Thatcher has made history by becoming the first person to have their brain transplanted into another body. In a move that will now extend Mrs Thatcher's life by...

'Words Fail Me' says Losing Opponent of Pink-Wigged Transexual Scrabble Champion 0
IABP 4 years

more inficete postings soon...

Isle of Wight destination of choice for paedophiles 0
Scroat 4 years

Forget Thailand. It's all happenin' at Shanklin...

After Stephen Fry adamantly defends his position that women do not like sex 0
arrghgarry 4 years

he will be waiting on Hampstead heath behind the public toilets and offers any woman who does indeed like sex they can roger him from behind with a strap on and he will wear a blindfold so they...

Al Qaeda warns benefit cuts could devastate Britain's martyrdom video industry 0
ronseal 4 years

One of the most successful growth markets in the British film industry is being put at risk by savage new benefit cuts. Experts say that the Martyrdom Video Sector could be seriously undermined, with...

Richard Dawkins provides final proof that God does not exist 4
arrghgarry 4 years

there is no way a benevolent God would put a man like Peter mandelson and a woman like Harriet Harman in such close proximity and however slim the chance of the two coupling and spawning the worlds...

Man finds stimulus package in underpants falls short 0
arrghgarry 4 years

mas o menos...

Roomful of Monkeys 'Despondent and Dissatisfied' Afte Typing Complete Dan Brown 9
thisisall1word 4 years

Roomful of Monkeys 'Despondent and Dissatisfied' After Typing Complete Works of Dan Brown...

Fire strike talks breakdown as union leaders leave to start their taxi shift. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Hewlett Packard arrest Osama bin Laden 0
SteveCut 4 years

Printer giant Hewlett Packard have announced that they have detained Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden on suspicion of aiding and abetting the unauthorised tampering with their printer toner cartridges...

British Telecom appoints new strategic technology mysticiser 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

British Telecoms has appointed Gavin Smitherman as its new CTM (chief technology mysticiser) with a brief to make simple concepts sound far more confusing and high blown than they actually are. The...

After securing a baby from a young professional footballer 0
arrghgarry 4 years

professional girlfriend calls off wedding ,everyone well surprised...

Dammit... someone got there first. Note to self must read at least one page 0
Ian Searle 4 years

before posting...

French scientists mistake miniature human livers for paté canapés. 2
the coarse whisperer 4 years
X-Factor announcer 'Sounds like that in real life' 1
antharrison 4 years

Neighbours of Peter Dickson, the X-Factor announcer, have requested that council officials impose a noise abatement order on him because of his booming off-screen voice. 'Most people think that he...

Man Thanks Friends Who Pointed Out That It Was 'Just a Trick' 0
IABP 4 years

Cheshire Man, Geoffery Watson, has today publicly thanked his friends for pointing out that everything he saw was, in fact, 'just a trick'. It all began when Geoff went to Las Vegas and caught a...

Hopes dashed for Tim as Lee Westwood named world's number one clubber. 0
tl72uk 4 years
News Summary : Bomb ba ba bomb, Bomb ba ba bomb, Dang ! 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Blue [s]m[/s] soon...

Aliens snub mankind after catching first ten minutes of X Factor 0
dogwheels 4 years

Politicians from around the globe were last night scrambling to diffuse a tense diplomatic situation with a group of aliens, sparked by television show The X Factor. A source in Downing Street has...

Southwark man begins compiling list of 'collaborators' with Tory regime 0
la maga 4 years

Keith Hartson, a resident of Southwark, London, is this week reported to have begun compiling his personal list of collaborators with the 'Con-unDem Coalition' as he calls it. He has refused to...