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Mary Whitehouse bequeaths house to American Diplomatic Assassins

Proviso: No bad language, sex or violence please...

4
OldThingy 05.05.11 12:02pm
OldThingy
Entire generation deleted as Save the Children forgets to back up its data 1
Qoxiivi 05.05.11 10:42am
OldThingy
Vince Cable to launch male neckwear collection : Cable ties in shops this Autumn 0
simonjmr 05.05.11 10:31am
simonjmr
Vince Cable demands to know why Competition Commission should not be reformed

in 15 words or less. Winner will receive a luxury spa treatment...

1
Deacon 05.05.11 11:35am
bonjonelson
Violinist with London Philharmonic Orchestra killed by dyslexic Mossad agent. 0
be reasonable 05.05.11 10:19am
be reasonable
ICC seeks to arrest Gaddafi for bringing cricket into disrepute.

More confusing acronyms soon...

0
be reasonable 05.05.11 10:17am
be reasonable
Circus clown, seen gasping for air in restaurant, reveals he “was only choking" 1
Qoxiivi 05.05.11 9:39am
Qoxiivi
Lloyds loses three and a half billion

"But hey, who cares? There's plenty more where that came from."...

0
greg various 05.05.11 9:08am
greg various
Myleene Klass clones self.

In a final bid to monopolise all TV and Radio broadcasts until the end of time the unavoidable media personality, smirker and "musician" has manufactured 700 biologically exact copies of herself. ...

4
Deacon 05.05.11 10:48am
Deacon
Fergie rings up Mourinho for tips on losing disgracefully to Barcelona 0
Basil_B 05.05.11 8:53am
Basil_B
Portugal to be rebranded "Germany-on-Sea" 7
Deacon 05.05.11 4:10pm
DiY
James Bond resigns from MI5: too much paperwork

James Bond, the secret agent formerly known as 007, has resigned from MI5, citing excessive paperwork and boring villan's lairs as making his life as a government assassin unbearable. He said "When...

2
steve_l 05.05.11 2:07pm
OldThingy
Richard Dawkins "used to be one half of Hinge and Bracket"

Speculation continued today that the freakish-voiced rent-a-boffin honed his gift (for banging on about things long after most people have lost interest) by publicly debating doilies and being of a...

0
Deacon 05.05.11 8:09am
Deacon
Syrian government forces launch Alternative to Voting campaign 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.05.11 7:30am
Duncan Biscuit
Obama relents and agrees to send Arsene Wenger a trophy photo 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.05.11 7:29am
Duncan Biscuit
Sarmer Bed Linen to be re branded.

Ahma Dinner Jackets expected to follow suit...

0
arthurminnit 05.05.11 7:04am
arthurminnit
"Osama still dead. Will and Kate still married", claims 24-hour news channel.

more of the same soon...

1
bonjonelson 04.05.11 10:47pm
OldThingy
US agrees to release photos of Bin Laden

After the award of a contract to Newsbiscuit photographic editor "Red" the US has agreed to release two photographs of the deceased terrorist leader. The first photograph shows Bin Laden waving the...

0
antharrison 04.05.11 10:08pm
antharrison
Swindon driver with 39 points :'Actually a railway line' 1
antharrison 05.05.11 8:36am
bonjonelson
Kindle unveils absorbent pad for finger-lickers

Jeni B will want one...

3
allmyownstunts 04.05.11 10:48pm
OldThingy
Lo! Bad man in sea.

(anag) 5,3,5...

7
Iscariot 07.05.11 4:33pm
Oxbridge
Abbott-abad.... Do doo be-do-do

Abbott-abad, Do do-do do, Abbott-abad, Do doo be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do be-do-do-doodle do do do-doo do! I thangyoo (Only really works when you think of Obama pronouncing it 'Uhbuttobard')...

0
MADJEZ 04.05.11 7:33pm
MADJEZ
Cashless Bates buys Leeds from sellers unknown to him - Prem rules now satisfied 0
SteveCut 04.05.11 7:25pm
SteveCut
Bin Laden's final message reveals support for NO to AV Campaign

Days before the 2004 US Presidential Election, an 18 minute video-message released by Osama Bin Laden, the terrorist leader, former FBI most wanted and Al Qaeda's Got Talent runner up, boosted George...

0
simjel 04.05.11 6:36pm
simjel
Harry Potter defies super injunction to reveal He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to press 1
acwanaut 05.05.11 3:13pm
pineapple incident
Sarah Palin slams Obama for only killing Bin Laden once. 0
Deacon 04.05.11 4:48pm
Deacon
PMS-afflicted Brits rally EU as Ivory Coast sanctions threaten Dairy Milk supply 0
acwanaut 04.05.11 3:59pm
acwanaut
Sub withdrawn due to some other bugger getting in first.

Must review subs before posting!...

2
wallster 04.05.11 5:15pm
Al OPecia
Katie Price files first Inverse Super Injunction

Forbids the press not to detail every part of her private life...

4
acwanaut 04.05.11 4:22pm
Screenie
Redundant Navy SEALS now tasked with finding Loch Ness Monster, Nemo and Maddie 0
acwanaut 04.05.11 3:34pm
acwanaut