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Sangin ‘retreat’ blamed on swarm of killer bees 0
Gary Stanton 4 years

The British ‘withdrawal’ from Sangin has nothing to do with the Taliban doing rather well and everything to do with a massive colony of pissed-off killer bees who have set up home in the area, a...

Norfolk Register Office budget cuts, sibling records 'to be merged with parents' 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Cheryl Cole told to make two tabloids twice a day... 0
Iamthestig 4 years

More soon no doubt...

Man glued to TV for 76 hours could have been rescued earlier 0
Iamthestig 4 years

DIY enthusiast Norman Harewood was questioned by Police today after it was revealed that his rescue could have occured after 20 minutes, and not the 76 hours it eventually took. Mr. Harewood had...

Artisan man-fat producer hailed for 'seminal' fluids. 0
MightyBlair 4 years

More coming, coming, soon ....

Long Term BNP Member Thrown Out for Getting a Suntan 0
Svendo 4 years

A long standing member of the BNP has been ousted after he was spotted lying in his garden sunbathing. Billy Hacerater was seen relaxing on a reclining lounger in his front garden during the recent...

Ronaldo Chrisitano reveals he scooped up the sperm from his alledged 0
arrghgarry 4 years

girlfriends back and passed it on to the surrogate mom in the next bed ., It was a rush job as the hospital was about to make a porn film...

Small flakes of flint 'the last thing I f*cking need' says jaded archaeologist 1
QorbeQ 4 years
Secret revealed as man admits ‘I was the hysterical male fan in Beatles film.' 5
Stan Laurel 4 years

46 year old secret revealed as man finally admits ‘I was the lone hysterical male fan in Beatles film’ A 63 year old man was forced to admit that he was indeed the sole hysterical male amongst...

Noel Edmonds to broker US deal to swap Russian spies for Scalextric and Atari 1
rickwestwell 4 years
Fifty armed officers in search for Moat 'much quicker than those with two arms' 5
QorbeQ 4 years
The Predator to lobby government on human hunting ban 2
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

The Predator, a member of an aggressive alien warrior race, will today meet with David Cameron in an attempt to overturn the ban on hunting human beings for sport. The previous government ruled that...

French medical staff successfully complete the first full faced transplant 0
arrghgarry 4 years

Sarkozy asks was his face really that repugnant...

ACMD extends clamp down on legal highs - placebos to be outlawed 0
paulvw 4 years

The ACMD is to recommend that Placebo, a substance at present freely available for sale, is to be added to the list of controlled substances. An ACMD spokesman said that " We have found that its...

British troops "merely advancing in reverse" 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Raoul Moat is holding 3 police officers hostage and their car ,he will not 0
arrghgarry 4 years

release them until they pay the 435 pounds clamping charge ,and a pack of 2HB pencils and a pad of Basildon Bond vellum...

Researchers discover "dead end branch of the human evolutionary tree" in Norfolk 0
andhrimnir 4 years

Must be a slow news day...

Deities 'joyful, triumphant' following referendum success 0
QorbeQ 4 years

The global leader in religion, known in some languages simply as 'God', has given in to pressure from his peers and finally agreed to a referendum on how belief in deities is allocated among mortals....

Octopus put down by vet after predicting England will win World Cup Final. 0
Stan Laurel 4 years
Raoul Moat hopes to be sent to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Burma, 0
simonjmr 4 years

During his 18 weeks incarceration in Durham prison Raoul Moat carfully planned out his future career path outside of jail. Inmates have pointed out that Raoul Moat spent several hours discussing his...

I was unsighted by psychic octopus, says Uruguayan referee 0
Oxbridge 4 years
Media delighted by another excuse to show picture of Anna Chapman > 2
Ludicity 4 years
Americans manage not to get date of 7/7 anniversary wrong 0
Oxbridge 4 years
"Remember,the phrase 'an abject defeat' can be interpreted in a variety of ways" 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years

..insists British commander in Afghanistan...

Gok wan of course realises that an anagram of his name is 0
arrghgarry 4 years

really fucking irritating piece of shit...

Michael Gove told to write 100 lines: 'I must not axe school buildings' 0
Ludicity 4 years
Northumbria Police receiving help from Paul the Psychic Octopus 0
Ludicity 4 years
'I used to be a couch potato' says man who found Roman coins 0
edward hack 4 years

'but not anymore', Man with metal detector finds armed fugitive - police find Saxon burial site...

Police say they have a "gut feeling" Raoul Moat is ginger 0
ironbridgeboy 4 years

sorry, but had to be said...

Harrison Ford to buy film rights to “Fugitive 2 – Raoul Moat” 0
ironbridgeboy 4 years

Calista Flockhart to play Samantha Stobbart, Sir Ian Blair to be mis-cast as Deputy Unites States Marshall Samuel Gerard...