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Strike on hold as fuel drivers receive overtime bonus from Cameron 0
nostra da mouse 31.03.12 10:25am
nostra da mouse
Obama Sin Laden following sexual congress

Americans are outraged to hear that their President has allegedly fathered 4 children out of wedlock. The Republican Senate was quick to condemn his extra-marital congress with the youngest wife of...

1
3zincold 31.03.12 10:02am
nickb
Francis Maude considers his careers options after call from No 10

Minister Francis Maude, considers his career options this weekend after many policians declare him the new saviour of carefully measured market intervention. Economists who have long considered the...

2
totnes 31.03.12 10:01am
nickb
MOD: We are using half-filled tanks to give the enemy less of a target

variant of an earlier one...

0
weematt 31.03.12 9:40am
weematt
“Eat your parents” urges Swift in “demographic bomb” re-write.

It was a classic satirical view, almost as relevant now as it was nearly three hundred years ago, when “Swiftie09” as he called himself then, posted it on Ye Newsmorsel. Eat your children. Now...

0
nickb 31.03.12 9:38am
nickb
Santorum: If Elected, I Promise to Repeal Last Two Centuries

WASHINGTON – Top GOP nominee Rick Santorum announced today that “should I be elected, I will take America back to when it was most pure – the 19th century. Men were men, and women and children...

2
Clavius 31.03.12 9:07am
JohnA
Rumours of Aretha and Geroge album denied 0
nickb 31.03.12 8:45am
nickb
Police say body "probably no-one important"

Mystery still shrouds the identity of a female body found on a canal bank in Manchester last week, as police say they have yet to formally identify her or her cause of death. Detective Inspector...

1
jamsieoconnor 31.03.12 8:37am
Fury as Cameron tells queuing motorists to eat a pasty!

Cameron yesterday visited queuing motorists outside petrol stations awaiting a delivery of fuel said that they must keep calm and stay nourished, going from car to car offering free pasties., one...

1
wilkieone 31.03.12 8:34am
"Set fire to your homes,now."advises Francis Maude,

as Fire Brigades Union contemplates strike ballot...

3
Zen 31.03.12 8:28am
nickb
Francis Maude not part of smoke free homes campaign spokesman confirms 0
Mandy Lifeboat 31.03.12 8:26am
Mandy Lifeboat
Summer type of weather in March, was 'it' says forecasters

The past weeks 'Record' summer type of weather for March, was reported by forecasters today, as 'it'. When asked what they mean by 'it', a very 'matter of fact' forecaster responded, "we have the...

0
Claire 31.03.12 7:48am
Claire
Escorts to charge VAT for hot sex 0
wallster 31.03.12 7:46am
wallster
Mystery of travelling pasty!

Cameron's travelling pasty story continues., Cameron stated he ate a pasty at Leeds railway station, this was updated to Liverpool. one eye witness said she saw the pasty headed towards London Kings...

0
wilkieone 31.03.12 7:23am
wilkieone
Men convicted in Lennon bomb plot 'didn't know he was already dead'. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 31.03.12 6:55am
weematt
New panic buying is loo roll! Environmental groups say, "grow dock leaves"

A rumour that workers in toilet roll factories are threatening strike action, has caused a wide spread case of panic buying of the soft soft soft toilet paper. One super market has confirmed that...

1
Claire 31.03.12 6:34am
Mr Target
Snow White warned of dwarf shortage 1
rustytruss 31.03.12 1:15am
grumblechops
William & Kate to appear on Escape to the Country

. More soon...

0
theumpire 30.03.12 11:42pm
theumpire
Soldiers ready to replace any striking workers claims Government

Following the Government’s announcement that Army and RAF service personnel are ready to perform the work of striking tanker drivers if necessary, it has been revealed that their training has also...

3
Midfield Diamond 30.03.12 9:57pm
Ironduke
Supermarket designs PastyCan

A leading supermarket has designed a container to keep pasties hot. A spokesperson declined to comment when asked if storage of large amounts of pasties was safe...

2
GillsImp 30.03.12 8:28pm
GillsImp
Heston Blumenthal admits fish in petrol sauce was an accident waiting to happen. 0
godly1966 30.03.12 6:13pm
godly1966
Birmingham Garages besieged as motorists mishear radio news about Stili Petrov 0
pinxit 30.03.12 4:46pm
pinxit
Harrods reports sudden surge in Hamper purchases. More soon. 5
Al OPecia 30.03.12 4:38pm
pinxit
Scotch eggs, fairy cakes and fizzy pop shortages as dyslexics go picnic buying. 2
wallster 30.03.12 4:37pm
pinxit
Devon man in care after reading iTunes agreement

A man from Devon who claims to have read the iTunes agreement before clicking Accept has been referred for psychiatric tests. Mr Colin Bray, who says he was just a bit bored and quite curious to see...

4
Boutros 30.03.12 4:19pm
Boutros
UK Currency To Become Worthless Once Prince Charles’ Face Is On It

A think-tank investigating the repercussions of the Queen’s demise have made the harrowing realisation that no one would touch money with Prince Charles’ face on. The announcement led to a...

3
UnoEye 30.03.12 4:01pm
dvo4fun
Traffic Wardens Worried About Stealth Tax

More to follow...

0
GillsImp 30.03.12 3:57pm
GillsImp
OCD Elgin Platform worker asks: "Hmm... did I turn the gas off?

more later...

2
dvo4fun 30.03.12 3:54pm
dvo4fun
No evidence of fool shortages 3
bonjonelson 30.03.12 3:51pm
bonjonelson
Petrol strike fears cause millions to cancel Easter visits to in-laws 16
Mandy Lifeboat 30.03.12 3:40pm
Ironduke