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Black Pearl circling sinking tanker. 0
allmyownstunts 4 years
Blair “Stunned” After Failing To Be Awarded The Nobel Peace Prize 0
Deimos 4 years

Today Tony Blair is said to be quite stunned after failing to secure the Nobel Peace Prize. Many had expected him to receive the award in recognition of the all wars he had started around the world....

Government cuts to reduce the number of permissable universes 0
simonjmr 4 years

The Coalition Government today has outlined that the review of publice finances will mean that there will have to be a reduction in the estimated number of univeres in existence. "Recently, Dr...

Taliban claims responsibility for ram-raiding Channel fuel tanker 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
ME blood ban ‘academic’ as sufferers can't be bothered to give blood anyway 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Captain Jack Sparrow banned from schools after failing CRB check 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Yesterday to be renamed Nazi Channel 0
roybland 4 years
Gok Wan attacks Afghan insurgents 0
therustler 4 years

In a surprising development Gok Wan has today delivered a blistering attack on the Afghan insurgents, calling them ‘massively schlumpy’. “As if our poor boys don’t have it hard enough,” he...

Language breakthough spells the end to office secrets 0
TerribleTim 4 years

An advanced linguistics research scientist from the University of Greater Humberside claims to have decoded an ancient language that has long mystified the male population. The origins of the...

Lovey-dovey couple finally hang up after three years 0
Zadok the second 4 years

Josh Lewin and Samantha Froggatt, both aged 19, have finally hung up the telephone after taking three years to finish their conversation. The pair began talking on March 13 2007, when their...

More Problems For Cameron 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

His wysteria's made a come back...

Cooper rejects offer of chancellor post to continue making barrels. More soon. 0
therustler 4 years
Tory Cabinet Minister Quits 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

in order to take advantage of the upcoming cuts, by setting up a nationwide chain of jumble sales...

Bounty hunters agree to look for other sorts of confectionary. 0
Zadok the second 4 years
Cameron's Bike Gone Missing 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Police are on the look-out for PM Cameron's 'green' bike, which hasn't been seen since the election. Also, gone missing are a number of nicey-nicey policies. However, the police suspect that these...

***** 10
IABP 4 years
Retrospective abortions proposed for those on benefits 0
hero2zero 4 years

A plan to allow retrospective abortions in order to reduce family size amongst those on benefits is being considered by the coalition, offspring would be eligible to be aborted up to the age of...

Cameron insists that the latest Tory Alumni conference was not held in Hungary.. 0
moonbeam 4 years

but was the subject of a leak somewhere in the universe under the banner of "A New Hope"...

Party conferences 'Most watched repeat programmes on iPlayer' 0
antharrison 4 years

The BBC's IT department is struggling to install new equipment and network bandwidth in time to meet the unprecedented demand for access to the highlights of the political party conferences "As fast...

MoD Navy Cutbacks latest: "Duplicate subs to be scrapped". 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Jury finds shooting barristers at £300 an hour lawful 1
roybland 4 years
Nobel Prize awarded to man responsible for more sodding kids 3
Kuifje 4 years

The Nobel Prize has been awarded to Robert G Edwards, a man whose groundbreaking work in in vitro fertilization has allowed the world to be populated by yet more annoying kids than it would have done...

UK Border Agency admits... 0
one against the world 4 years

it has no idea how many X- Factor contestants are in the country...

Man not aware of gravity sues council after being hit by conker in local park 3
Basil_B 4 years
Simon Cowell downgraded from "Has-been" to "Never-was" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Hungry people plagued by mystery red sludge. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

British foetuses able to distinguish good wine from the cheap stuff, study finds 3
Gary Stanton 4 years

Doctors confirmed yesterday what expectant mothers knew all along, that the odd bottle of wine here and there won’t do the little fella any harm . A study measuring the effects of alcohol on...

Westminster shock as Minister admits to being an evidence user and resigns 5
Redundantpublicservant 4 years

Late last night news began to emerge of a junior minister likely to be ‘outed’ in the near future as an evidence user. As rumours began to spread speculation mounted as to the identity of the...

Ending public sector gold plated pensions unfair says UK gold platers 0
Redundantpublicservant 4 years

Leaders of the UK's gold plating industry reacted angrily to the news that gold plated public sector pensions were to cease. 'It's bad news and make no mistake,' said convenor Ian Got. 'The only...

Queen asks for clarification of state-funding for large families 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years