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Assisted suicide story demands right to die peacefully

And not to be resuscitated by editors desperate to fill space...

Ian Searle 28.08.12 4:27pm
Ian Searle
Mystery 99% loading delay solved, say Microsoft.

Microsoft have finally gotten to the bottom of why the last 1% of any software installation takes as long as the other 99%. It was due to a 'feature' in the original Windows. In the early days, no...

Boutros 28.08.12 4:01pm
Neil Armstrong death 'an obvious hoax' say conspiracy theorists 13
Midnight Dreary 28.08.12 2:58pm
Nails UK
Spotted lion 'probably leopard' say experts 0
Midnight Dreary 28.08.12 1:32pm
Midnight Dreary
PM still opposed to third runway, but "happy with fourth one"

David Cameron has denied suggestions of a U-turn on transport policy; "I said before the election that there would be no third runway at Heathrow and I stand by that. However, a fourth runway is a...

apepper 28.08.12 1:18pm
Cameron orders Larry the No. 10 tabby to be put to sleep

(One for Jesse)...

Lucy4 28.08.12 12:52pm
Ryanair announce turd runway at Knock airport 0
charlies_hat 28.08.12 12:34pm
Cannabis users deny claims of IQ loss

"It's, like, not, er, you know, false, er true."...

apepper 28.08.12 12:26pm
Holistic healers amazed as new natural ingredient actually does something

Herbal medicine creators and homeopaths were today said to be “very excited” at the reports of a new natural ingredient with proven painkilling properties. Derived from the coco plant, the white...

kimllfixit 28.08.12 12:06pm
Martians threaten invasion if NASA goes ahead with planned Will I.Am broadcast 0
Mark66 28.08.12 12:03pm
Essex police armed with dining room chairs and whips 5
charlies_hat 28.08.12 11:20am
Midfield Diamond
Clacton's Wizard of Oz panto gets unexpected publicity over the weekend

After the actor playing the cowardly lion is seen wandering the streets in costume. More soon...

simonjmr 28.08.12 11:19am
First Michael Jackson. Now Neil Armstrong.Are Moonwalkers cursed, asks Daily Ma 3
ronseal 28.08.12 11:05am
Search for intelligent Essex Policemen called off..

..entire force currently looking for a jabberwocky outside Romford...

RickH 28.08.12 10:01am
Yahoo CEO to be deported after inserting his search toolbar without permission

(yes, I know, I should have unticked a box somewhere. I was still asleep) More soon...

Hurrumph 28.08.12 9:24am
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Squudge 28.08.12 9:21am
Research finds that smoking weed can make you ‘err..... stuff’

A team of researchers in New Zealand have conducted a study into the effects of smoking cannabis at a young age, and concluded that ‘Smoking weed while your brain is still developing can make you,...

Vertically Challenged Giant 28.08.12 8:53am
The All New Jeni B
Older bees find young bees' dancing "incomprehensible". 8
nickb 28.08.12 8:18am
Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project

After 5 years of hard work the monkeys of Longleat drive through Safari have put the finishing touches to a metallic blue Vauxhall Astra. Paul, spokesmen for the 100 strong Rhesus monkey troop told...

button 28.08.12 7:53am
Young bees "embarrassed" by older bees dancing. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 28.08.12 7:47am
Annual Taliban dinner dance fundraiser postponed. 0
Maverick 28.08.12 3:21am
Philip in the pink

So nice to see (HRH) Philip looking well again,

Squudge 27.08.12 10:07pm
Gardener Questions Thyme.

I'm [s]sorrel[/s] er, sorry...

The All New Jeni B 27.08.12 7:24pm
The All New Jeni B
Stats show number of 5* subs has dipped for first time in Newsbiscuit history 0
charlies_hat 27.08.12 6:57pm
Tin Man, Scarecrow seen wandering in Herts as UK prepares for more storms. 4
nickb 27.08.12 6:50pm
Vox Pops ultimately inconclusive, concludes Vox Pops

In a blow to lazy television producers everywhere, a recent series of Vox Pops suggested they fail to provide any legitimate insight. The Vox Pops, recorded in whatever town centre the cameraman and...

Chindle 27.08.12 6:41pm
Medieval Torture To Be Introduced In UK Schools

In a bid to curb unruly behaviour in the classroom, the department of education has decided to introduce a number of brutal disciplinary measures including the use of medieval instruments of torture....

Jonny Shlep 27.08.12 5:50pm
Jonny Shlep
Same sex marriage threatens steady flow of shy,vulnerable children says Bishop 3
tedweasel 27.08.12 5:39pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Splinter group demands tax breaks on tweezers 0
nickb 27.08.12 5:38pm
Police call off the search for the "Essex Virgin". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 27.08.12 5:34pm