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Clive James to be used as speech stuntman for Vince Cable 1
4ty2 4 years

to make cable leaks even more entertaining. Sure the reporters would not spot the difference if a bit of makeup is applied and auto-tune could help to blend over his accent. The question is if the...

Jamie Oliver 30 minute meal book selling like hot cakes.... 0
Milo Shame 4 years

that you can make in 30 minutes...

Porn industry admits we've done it all 19
simonjmr 4 years

The worldwide multimillion dollar Porn industry has today admitted that they have run out of sexual positions, fetishes and fantasies to film. An increasingly comprehensive backcatalogue of "grot",...

Palin brings in Border Collie to write Tea Party manifesto 0
Wyclef Sadova 4 years

1001 words soon...

Mexican Physicists complete their Pina Collider 18
bonjonelson 4 years

[more soon] and sorry...

Shoelace tying holding key to quantum time travel conundrum. 4
The Return of DroleNoel 4 years
Britain to offer Spanish cheap credits 0
4ty2 4 years

so they can afford to buy snow ploughs for Heathrow. With the British government having no interest in British business at least the British bankers may have interest in getting more money. They...

Ferrero Rocher ambassador caught up in wiki leaks scandal 0
whickerman 4 years

A bribe list has been found. Apparently the US state department was willing to give up their Nuclear codes for 5 Ferrero Rocher a piece. The ambassador was hit by a further scandal when lab tests...

Gail Sheridan starts her Christmas shopping after 'hectic' December 0
dogwheels 4 years
Vince Cable 'furious' at being made to look like a twat. 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Campaign begins for Scottish prisoners' human right to sun beds. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Pope accepts ‘Thought for the Day’ invitation but declines ‘Hole in the Wall’ 3
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Scientists claim 'nothing new' about 'cheap knock-off' 2011 0
dogwheels 4 years

As the world gets ready to welcome another new year, a group of scientists have claimed that, contrary to popular belief, there will be nothing new about the year 2011 and that it is in fact a...

Al Qaeda Brit double agents to ruin Xmas with overthetop fussing and worrying 0
ronseal 4 years

A crack team of Xmas ruiners has been recruited by Al Qaeda, to work on the inside and destroy the spirit of the festive season. A series of cells has been created out of the volunteer turncoats,...

Drive carefully, folks, it’s icy out there... 2
Doylem 4 years

With millions of people setting out today, to spend Christmas with uncherished relatives, Pete Brown of the AA offers a few, mildly patronising, words of advice. “Drive on the road. Don’t drive...

Waitrose to introduce Chill-Out Checkouts for the more sedate shopper 0
Iamthestig 4 years

Posho Supermarket, Waitrose, have decided to buck the trend for speedier customer service and checkout and introduce new Chill-Out Checkouts at their stores. The new checkouts are intended for use...

William has already sorted excuse to avoid Xmas Day with the in-laws 0
MC One R 4 years

Before even getting married, Prince William is already trying to avoid laborious awkward Christmas Day family gatherings with the Middletons using the excuse "Sorry, it's my shift for Search &...

Stock journalist words look forward to Christmas break 0
MC One R 4 years

Overused words "Chaos", "Cold-snap", "Untrustworthy" and "LibDem" have announced they are looking forward to a quiet Christmas break after a hectic couple of weeks, by spending the festive period at...

Cold weather to last until "The day after tomorrow" 0
virtuallywill 4 years
Disappointment at Heathrow Xmas panto as Peter Pan unable to land. 3
MC One R 4 years
Kim Jong-Il says his red button "will only turn on Xmas lights" in Seoul 0
MC One R 4 years
Gary Glitter to star in remake of Casablanca - 'Here's looking at your kid'. 3
wallster 4 years
Santa regrets buying Tom Tom as sleigh written off in car wash. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Royal Mint security staff toast "lookunalike" coin 0
GrahamB 4 years

Jubilant staff at the Royal Mint toasted their success today following market research that showed that the portraits of Prince William and Kate Middleton on the new commemorative engagement coin...

US military devolops weaponry controllable by iPhone 0
Dumbnews 4 years
New York's "Punch Me Panda", not as popular as Wales' "F**k Me Sheep" 0
Ian Searle 4 years
James May given brain scan but none found. 0
Ian Searle 4 years

May was filming the Top Gear Christmas special, where the three presenters try to recreate the famous journey from the Christmas film "Snow White and the Three Stooges". He was helping fellow...

Whistleblower arrested for noise pollution 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Al Qaeda up in arms as schedule of transport carnage is snowed off 5
ronseal 4 years

Angry Al Qaeda bosses slammed Britain's bungling bus bosses after public transport cancellations ruined forced them to cancel a Christmas spectacular., One furious fundamentalist complained, 'Once...

Object Coming From East Across Night Sky Was a Plane Arriving says Heathrow Boss 4
IABP 4 years

The 'Miracle of Heathrow' may have been just a plane arriving at Heathrow and not some magical astronominical event. Many observers spotted the object coming from the East and appear to rest next to...