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Store robber threatens owner with a negative online review 0
Dumbnews 08.02.12 11:01pm
Released Killer Whale sues for loss of earnings

Clyde the killer whale released by the Florida Marine Park after 2 years of campaigning by protesters, is now suing Greenpeace for loss of earnings and undue stress. Clyde was wistful when we spoke...

Immunis 08.02.12 10:30pm
'Employee Of The Month' turns down 'generous £50 bonus'

Receptionist and Peter Paperclip PLC's 'Employee Of The Month' for January Sarah Hannigan, has publicly announced her decision to turn down the cash bonus that comes with the aforementioned accolade....

Perks 08.02.12 9:52pm
Man utters bureaucratically untenable opinion and resigns in same sentence 0
kga6 08.02.12 9:42pm
Italian General waves white flag following court martial of trusted Captain 1
markbuontempo 08.02.12 9:04pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Redknapp would consider England job for cash in 'and no questions like. 0
MADJEZ 08.02.12 7:56pm
New TV show ‘Man v Booze’ slammed as irresponsible

A spin-off from popular TV show ‘Man v Food’ has been branded ‘irresponsible and dangerous’ by health advisers. ‘Man v Booze’ premiered on Dave last week, in between repeats of Top Gear...

Vertically Challenged Giant 08.02.12 7:53pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Sepp Blatter and FIFA endorse Harry Redknapp as the next England manager 0
charlies_hat 08.02.12 7:39pm
Football fans angry as FA announce 'Capello re-signs' 0
Perks 08.02.12 7:33pm
America's got talent features man fiting tent back into its original bag 0
Dumbnews 08.02.12 7:09pm
Meet Spunky – UK Sea Fun Centre’s first sperm whale!

He weighs 52000 Kilos and he’s 19 metres long and thousands of kids will be shouting “We want Spunk!” when the UK’s first captive sperm whale appears at Southport’s Sea Fun centre. Many...

nickb 08.02.12 6:30pm
Mattel expands into Islamic extremist market with new Barbie blow-up doll

Popular toy manufacturer, Mattel, is expanding into the hard-to-crack Islamic extremist market with a new exploding version of their flagship doll, Barbie. The new doll has already caused buying...

Qoxiivi 08.02.12 5:51pm
Mother of 15lb Chinese baby embarks on new career as garage 1
pere floza 08.02.12 5:33pm
Sky diver who jumped from space 'still up there'

A sky diver attempting to jump to Earth from space should have concentrated harder during Physics lessons, according to experts. Jim Howell thought a leap from space would be a natural progression...

08.02.12 5:29pm
Racist says he could move abroad for much better money 2
ronseal 08.02.12 5:08pm
42 dead, 6 injured in clown car explosion

morning all!...

gaijintendo 08.02.12 4:25pm
Blofeld says hollowed-out Falklands volcano is 'Grand Design' not militarisation 0
cinquecento 08.02.12 4:20pm
Redknapp slams officials for not giving a penalty 1
charlies_hat 08.02.12 4:15pm
Argentina threatens military action as UK offers Isle of Wight instead

Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner has today reacted angrily to Foreign Secretary William Hague’s announcement that the UK intends to keep the Falklands but give Argentina the Isle...

ianslat 08.02.12 4:14pm
Masterchef judges 'need bath' 2
08.02.12 1:58pm
Luton based mineral water supplier to TM 'Arab Spring' name 0
MagnusOpum 08.02.12 1:00pm
UN confounded by Argentinian anger at Twitter speed camera issues...

in Mercosur mix-up...

MagnusOpum 08.02.12 12:56pm
New academy to open to give professional footballers the essential 3 R's

Rape, Racism and Rogering your brother's wife / wife's sister More soon...

simonjmr 08.02.12 10:22am
Mass evacuation after LUSH store goes into partial meltdown, [center][i]Cross section of cheekily suggestive-looking LUSH Valentines bath bomb[/i][/center]...

Skylarking 08.02.12 10:07am
Major Clanger
Woman spends £1m with Levi's trying to create her own jean pool 2
Perks 08.02.12 9:56am
Major Clanger
UK deport deficit renews concerns of boom and bust 0
cinquecento 08.02.12 9:55am
Tabloids frustrated by "Bankers Bonus" being spoonerism-proof. Sore moon. 1
Al OPecia 08.02.12 9:51am
Whales "stressed" by slow rural broadband speeds

Whales and Dolphins are becoming increasingly stressed and agitated at the lack of availabilty of superfast broadband connections in their locales. Now, researchers have measured stress hormones in...

simonjmr 08.02.12 9:34am
Jedward switched at birth: pop world in turmoil

The world of popular music was plunged into chaos today following the revelation that annoying Irish twins Jedward might have been switched at birth. Fellow Irish pop music idiot Louis Walsh...

ianslat 08.02.12 9:05am
Al OPecia
Government Poll shows most OAPs happy using freezer to heat home

A Government Spokesman said today:, "We are very happy about the recent poll results. It shows, as expected, that most of the elderly have taken to the idea of heating there homes by opening the...

RJWinter 08.02.12 8:33am