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Prince to open Chain of 'Princely Pleasures' Massage Parlours 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

After scouring the world on taxpayers money to find the best masseurs a Prince said he was going to open a chain of parlours that would give 'royal massages' fit for 'a Prince or King!'. He said...

Parents Demand Repeal of No Bullying Policy 1
Smartassmama 4 years

Anne and Josh Petersen tolerated the crackdown on their son's physical bullying of others. They took the high road and left their high-priced lawyer out of it when Ethan, 9, was suspended for...

Libya crisis: U.N. & NATO to act... 0
be reasonable 4 years

'once we know who's won,' says spokesman...

Cardinals Review Gospels, Order Dioceses to Reduce Hierarchy 0
Smartassmama 4 years

The Vatican--A flock of Cardinals has concluded a weeklong summit with a shocking document, "We Royaltus Screwitus Upus." The weeklong summit addressed the millenium-strong argument by heretical...

Charlie Sheen Burns Up On Re-entry from Outer Space 0
Q William Bacon 4 years
Paedophile ring shamed as Duke of York link exposed 0
Ironduke 4 years
Police Federation and Govt reach agreement: 'Sting definitely paid too much' 1
Skylarking 4 years

<sings> Moooore soooon you don't have to put on the re-ed light...

Flasher's Union calls all members out. 0
Ironduke 4 years

The Flasher's Union (FU) has declared a Day of Action in protest at rising competition from amateurs using webcams to work from home., Hanging out around a flaming oil barrel, protesters huddled...

Heathrow Cancellations Caused By 'Planes Not Being Great With Snow' 2
thisisall1word 4 years

An inquest into the flight delays during last December have found that aeroplanes operate less well in snowy conditions. All commerical flights out of Heathrow that month were to be made by...

Hillary Clinton makes unprovoked poke on Gadaffi's facebook 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Consumer Alcohol Confidence At Highest February Level Since Records Began 0
MC One R 4 years

Reports suggest that confidence in alcohol is at a level not seen since George Best and Oliver Reed went out together "for a few quiet early Saturday evening beers." Experts say that artificially...

Gaddafi flees Libya disguised as BBC Journalist 0
AlbertRoss 4 years

Reports are circulating that Libyan Leader Colonel Gaddafi has fled the country after disguising himself as veteran BBC Correspondant John Simpson. Gaddafi apparently decided that the battle to...

Radio 2 confirms all copies of Wogan's Run destroyed 0
bonjonelson 4 years

[more soon]...

Report Finds All Copies of Logan's Run Should Have Been Destroyed 5 Years Ago 0
thisisall1word 4 years
Treasury Officials Mull "Logan's Run" Pension Option 0
spiraldrain 4 years

A leaked document shows that Treasury officials have been discussing a Logan's Run style plan to reduce pension costs. The memo proposes that eligible pensioners are to be given an unspecified cash...

Eastbourne Women's Institute celebrates obstacle course victory over SAS. 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Environmentalists say that EU proposals for a 100% cut in CO2 emissions are... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

'nowhere near enough'...

Gaddafi Still "Mayor" of Local Starbucks 0
Q William Bacon 4 years

TRIPOLI - In a rare occasion of openness and transparency, Col. Muammar Gaddafi led foreign journalists to his favorite Starbucks, on the northeast corner of the Zaweet Eddahmany roundabout. As he...

Somali Pirates to Spearhead New Insurance Campaign 0
spiraldrain 4 years

Insurance giant AIG has announced details of its latest advertising campaign. In a controversial move, the online campaign will feature Somali pirates recommending AIG's online only kidnap and...

Judge tackles pervert "because he was getting away with the photos". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Census: Association of Illegal Immigrants 'disappointed' at lack of check box 1
surdoux 4 years

"Despite being one of the larger ethnic groups, illegal immigrants have yet again been ignored by this Government", says spokesman (name witheld)...

"I felt like a pervert." Attenborough mistaken over Hare with 4 ears. More soon 0
Banking Escapee 4 years

Just a quickie...

‘Dick Dastardly’ Style Traps to Spice Up F1 2
Guy Incognito 4 years

‘Dick Dastardly’ Style Traps to Spice Up F1 Bernie Ecclestone announced today new incentives to make Formula 1 more exciting for the viewing public. Teams will be encouraged to try and remove...

Billy Bragg: 'People who say one's betrayed the working class are bally oiks!' 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

Protest singer Billy Bragg today turned his wrath on those who say that he's betrayed his working class roots by living in a huge mansion on Chesil Beach., 'Now look here, you chaps,' he said at a...

Public advised not to eat cereal box packages. 2
Tammy Flugh 4 years

A Food Safety spokesman said that rumours that they are more nutritious than the contents are totally false...

Tesco Eyes Up Cheap Greeks? 1
spiraldrain 4 years

City analysts have suggested that "it's only a matter of time" until High Street stores such as Tesco sell foreign government debt next to cheap baked beans. With the price of Greek 10 year bonds...

Monarchist Backs Monarchy 12
Dun Dunkin 4 years

A monarchist backed the monarchy despite recent Princely financial and sexual scandals. The monarchist said he had full confidence in the monarchy and it should continue lording it up over the oiks...

Tiger kills Lion, awaits winner of Hippo vs Python in next round 4
nilbymouse 4 years

Ultimate cage fighting...

Big Society blamed for bungling as Dad's Army sent on Libya mission 0
ianslat 4 years

Foreign Secretary William Hague has admitted that the 'special forces' captured by Libyan rebels at the weekend were in fact members of popular wartime sitcom Dad's Army. 'It's a perfect example of...

Number of drug addicts to fall by half, through “natural wastage”... 1
Doylem 4 years