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$1.9m US Open win 'means the world to me' says emotional Murray 0
The Paper Ostrich 11.09.12 2:41pm
The Paper Ostrich
Andy Murray: All of England mourns as State Funeral set for 'The Joke' 4
dvo4fun 11.09.12 1:49pm
GB's successful sports stars to be fitted with 4G this year

It was announced today that not only have Gold medal winners been awarded a gold post box in their home town, they will also be fitted with a 4G transmitter as part of the ongoing sponsorship by BT....

simonjmr 11.09.12 1:37pm
Everybody 'already sick to death of samba', Brazil warned ahead of 2016 Olympics 2
The Paper Ostrich 11.09.12 12:14pm
pere floza
Jock o’Vitch granted honorary Scottish citizenship. 1
sigmund 11.09.12 11:04am
'Lawn Tennis Association coaching can deliver more semi-finalists' says Lendl 0
Midfield Diamond 11.09.12 11:03am
Midfield Diamond
"No one beats the Brits 76 years in a row", shouts triumphant Murray 0
custard cream 11.09.12 9:44am
custard cream
'We deleted Shapps entry from wikipedia' admits Head of Watford Grammar School

more deletions soon...

Gerontius 11.09.12 8:12am
Introducing Wedding Vows for the Pragmatic Man

"Do you take this women to be your lawful wedded wife?" "Yes, on these conditions." This is to be the approach of a new set of vows to be taken by some men at weddings. Professor Errant, an expert...

kga6 11.09.12 6:14am
Andy Murray's English citizenship fast-tracked 0
Nick McCarr 11.09.12 3:56am
Nick McCarr
Careless driving Transport Minister merely community service placement

While many have been baffled as to how David Cameron could appoint someone convicted of careless driving as Transport Minister, the explanation has now emerged: Simon Burns is simply working out the...

Sir Lupus 10.09.12 11:37pm
Sir Lupus
Free marketeer Osborne calls for paralympic delegulation 0
antharrison 10.09.12 10:09pm
God appears on old vegetable box.


robzrob 10.09.12 10:07pm
Royal corgi to get state funeral

David Cameron has announced there is to be three days of mourning, a public holiday and a state funeral in memory of Monty Windsor one of the Royal corgis who sadly passed away over the weekend.,...

Gerontius 10.09.12 10:06pm
Council sends in bailiffs as Richard theThird's car park bill exceeds £1m 1
custard cream 10.09.12 9:31pm
The Coal Hole In The Wall Gang Not Dead - Just Resting

Reports emerging from the Strand appear to be suggesting that the 'Coal Hole In The Wall Gang' - a crowd of slathering, mewling, puking, folding itinerant internet trolls, are not in fact dead, but...

Martin Shuttlecock 10.09.12 9:20pm
Martin Shuttlecock
GCSE exams to be replaced with Top Trumps, says Gove. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 10.09.12 7:45pm
Teachers' parents will be fined if teachers bunk off on strike days... 0
deskpilot3 10.09.12 6:48pm
‘Let me commit career-suicide without dignity’ pleads Frankie Boyle

Infamous 'taboo busting' comedian Frankie Boyle issued a distraught plea to the media yesterday; asking to be allowed to finally kill off his TV career. Boyle has requested that his...

Skylarking 10.09.12 6:04pm
Helen Skelton reminds parade viewers that 2016 games will be held in Brasil 0
MrQ 10.09.12 5:25pm
Spare Olympic medals to be sold off on ebay 0
grottymonty 10.09.12 4:18pm
Lord Coe finds what is actually written on the bottom of British products is...

"Open other end"...

Smart Alex 10.09.12 2:46pm
Smart Alex
3 arrested in Delhi with Primates hidden in pants, Catholic church no comment 0
simonjmr 10.09.12 1:30pm
Tour of Britain race to overnight at Knowsley

Sinnick 10.09.12 10:47am
Paralympics has lame closing ceremony 2
Sinnick 10.09.12 10:05am
Schoolchildren refuse NUT plan for unauthorised days off in term time 0
charlies_hat 10.09.12 8:28am
Lib-Dems dream of Parelection gold

In the wake of the inspirational Paralympics, Nick Clegg has called for a 'Parelection' following the next General Election, to provide a level playing field for politicians of all abilities. "It...

Squudge 10.09.12 6:36am
Zombie Apocalypse is actually the Second Coming, Jesus reveals

In a surprise appearance last week, a man claiming to be Jesus revealed that the much anticipated 'zombie apocalypse' of 2012 is actually a mis-communication of the intended 'Second Coming'. Jesus...

Squudge 10.09.12 6:32am
Boris Johnson in a bid to become Doctor Who

Following weeks of speculation, the office for the Mayor of London has confirmed that Boris Johnson will make an attempt to overthrow Matt Smith and become Doctor Who. If successful, Boris will...

Perks 09.09.12 11:23pm
Paralympians to be classified by morality of disability

Paralympic athletes are to be assessed according to how culpable they are for their disabilities. Though the competition already possesses a classification system, it only categorizes the type...

pitflaps 09.09.12 10:04pm
Very Little Else