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Man who dreamt of being world cup ball woke up kicking himself

[more soon]...

dicky37 26.02.12 4:06pm
Neutrino gets speeding ticket overturned in Magistrates' Court

In a rare move, a Magistrates' Court has overturned a speeding ticket issued to a Neutrino, due to a challenge to the accuracy of a police speed gun. "I was ticking along at exactly the speed of...

wwwiz 26.02.12 3:54pm
UN Rules should make wars “a little less rapey and killy”

An innovative move inspired by the great sporting heritage of International Boxing was unveiled by the UN today, following Red Cross calls for a daily two hour cease fire in Homs. “Boxing in its...

dvo4fun 26.02.12 1:33pm
Gangsters to create 300 new jobs in Manchester

Manchester’s premier criminal syndicate has announced it will be opening up three hundred new positions in their local gangs in the area. The move has led to the north west economy making a small...

paddyparkinson 26.02.12 1:25pm
Man not in Film Industry shocks critics by expressing faint interest in Oscars

Must be one of them there gaysexuals...

tedweasel 26.02.12 1:20pm
John Lennon releases 'All we are saying is give Greece a chance"

Apols if done already...

Mandy Lifeboat 26.02.12 12:49pm
Mandy Lifeboat
100% of public sector managers now on Linkedin

Business related social networking site Linkedin today achieved saturation coverage among public sector manangers. The last to join, a Donald Edward Wood of NHS Borders and Wrexham, submitted a nice...

Mandy Lifeboat 26.02.12 12:45pm
Mandy Lifeboat
News of meat being made in labs dismissed as "Red Herring" by Vegetarian Society

Bootiful quote...

Nails UK 26.02.12 10:37am
Nails UK
Houston death thrown into doubt that she was just "having a nap"

The controversy over Whitney Houston's death has reignited today over a suggestion that the singer "Was having a nap in the bath" Houston, 48, was found "dead" in the bath of her luxury hotel room...

aTrumbo 26.02.12 10:30am
Faster-than-light neutrinos measurement could be down to Windows Vista 1
oblongscone 26.02.12 10:28am
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel kick-starts Zombie movie craze 0
Drylaw 26.02.12 10:24am
Further Fallout from AA Milne Downgrading

Further information has been disclosed regarding the effects of the recent downgrading of AA Milne to A Milne. - Main characters will be renamed Winnie The Poor and Christopher Robbin’, - Eeyore...

Nails UK 26.02.12 10:19am
Nails UK
Boomerangs making a comeback 0
Haywood Manley 26.02.12 10:19am
Haywood Manley
Doctor confused but delighted after asking furniture salesman for a stool sample 2
bonjonelson 26.02.12 9:38am
Smithfield at centre of new bone hacking scandal 1
weematt 26.02.12 9:22am
Woman Can’t Control Their Vagina’s Says Santorum.

Rick Santorum, the new frontrunner for the Republican Nominee, has never been one to shy away from controversy but his new claim is astonishing even for him. Speaking at a public appearance he made...

Hooch 26.02.12 9:19am
Undecided topic at the world's first 'summat summit' 0
Perks 26.02.12 8:07am
Sexy Female Psychiatrist releases report saying women objectified 'too much' 1
paddyparkinson 26.02.12 7:28am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Stonehenge built ‘to explain offside rule to women’. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 26.02.12 4:27am
UK numbers downgraded - PM asks for calm from 9 Downing Street

In a shock announcement, All UK numbers have been downgraded. £5 notes are now £4 notes, BBC 4 is now BBC 3 and the Forth bridge has been renamed the Third bridge...

apepper 26.02.12 3:53am
Mandela stomach complaint: discharge imminent 0
25.02.12 11:01pm
Hi-speed green mode of transportation discovered, called running 0
Dumbnews 25.02.12 9:49pm
One Direction's new album will be called 'Down'.

Following One Direction's recent success, the name of their new album has been announced. It will be called 'Down'...

hippogriff 25.02.12 9:31pm
Whitney used as organ donor for Mandela - opening at Madison Square Garden

Whitney used as organ donor for Mandela - Madiba opening at Madison Square Garden on June 11. Long live Mandela!...

hippogriff 25.02.12 9:20pm
International race to bottom of ocean trench won by sack of kittens 10
25.02.12 9:03pm
Knock-on effect of RBS slump : Next season will be the last for 6 Nations Rugby.

From 2014 onwards, the RBS 6 Nations Rugby competition will be downsized to the 1 Nation., Andy Robinson, the Scotland rugby coach, was delighted with the news : "As the only competing team in the...

Gourd Almighty 25.02.12 8:27pm
Gourd Almighty
Police already investigating first scandals at the Sun on Sunday.

More dirty diggings soon...

deskpilot3 25.02.12 8:11pm
Westlife Reunion to take place inside of Giant Blender 0
paddyparkinson 25.02.12 7:25pm
Police called to M&S dine in for two coq au vin disturbance

A £10 M&S dine in for two meal ended in violence when the diners set about each other over an argument about the coq au vin. 'I thought we'd have a nice M&S dine in for two for a tenner...

roybland 25.02.12 6:27pm
"Bwarp flomm," states man who claims ability to create new words at will. 0
Haywood Manley 25.02.12 6:15pm
Haywood Manley