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UK to leave EU and be re-named "Philistia". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
BBC viewers assured 'Ross will not be missed' after firing squad drafted in. 1
MightyBlair 4 years

More at noon...

Guardian reporter follows trail of make-up to find rouge Afghan soldier 4
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Stephen Fry seperates from partner, blames the dogging days hot summer 0
arrghgarry 4 years

and an impatient queue on Hampstead heath ...

Apple Unveils the iBabel 42 Yellow 0
hero2zero 4 years

The latest micro-in-ear multi-lingual translator, the answer to the universe & everything. A member of the research and development team said,, "It has proved to be incredibly intuitive, when...

Accountants to be given responsibility for doing operations in NHS cutbacks 1
ED209 4 years

The health secretary today announced that instead of GPs doing management tasks for which they're entirely untrained, it will in fact be cheaper to hand out scalpels and powerful drugs to accountants...

XREP laser guided Tasers to be renamed "Moats and Beams" 0
Iscariot 4 years
BBC presenters to claim benefit when Breakfast Show moves to Salford 0
ramblesnake 4 years

Viewers are advised not to be a horrid snitch, if they jolly well know what would the best for themselves. The time is 9 o' clock Greenwich, meantime here is the news...

Duck tape the only fix for iPhone 4 problems, says Consumer mag; shares tank 2
Hunter F. Thompson 4 years

.lots more, soon enough...

New game launched for folks with a cold who still get to work:- 0
Mr.3374 4 years

Catarrh Hero., Max strength add-on available in February...

England climb higher in FIFA rankings. 0
Mr.3374 4 years

Bugger, that's actually true...

Pope disappointed to find that "Fists of Fury" is a martial arts film 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
World Internet Boggle championships ruined by pop-up blocker 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Cameron - If Moat wants sympathy, its in the dictionary between shit & syphilis 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

"this bloody mike better not be on again"...

Italy 1990, England 1996, Rothbury 2010... 1
DiscoPope74 4 years

why is it that every shoot out Gazza is involved in ends in tears?...

Kosovan children named after Tony Blair reveal their middle names 1
JayGee 4 years

Following Tony Blair’s recent visit to Kosovo, where he met nine children named after him, the middle names of the children have come to light. These paint a rather different picture. All nine...

David Cameron and Harriet Harman clash over bottle of wine in Commons bar. 0
dogwheels 4 years
New iPhone app provides comebacks to jokes about owner's Apple obsession 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Arsonist loses tools of trade in fire. more soon 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Rothbury Police Force to assist in search for rogue Afghan Soldier 3
Clark from Kent 4 years

Nato have today confirmed that the expertise of the local constabulary in Rothbury, Northumberland will be used in the major man hunt for the rogue Afgan Soldier who earlier this week killed three...

"Cellphones 100% safe but for God's sake don't let kids use them" says Minister 0
rickwestwell 4 years
NewsArse.com frantically redesigning website 2
rickwestwell 4 years
Queen’s waving arm to be used to generate power during Royal engagements. 5
Stan Laurel 4 years

Following successful trails at the Sandringham Flower Show earlier this month, it has been announced that the Queen is to have her waving arm connected to a generator to produce green energy whilst...

England bans wearing of any clothes by French nationals 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Dr Foster wins six figure compensation claim from Gloucester Council. 4
Ian Searle 4 years

Over unfilled pot hole...

Lembit Opik set to leave stand-up to sit down in The Commons. 0
SingingHinny 4 years

After 20 years in the business, Lembit Opik is to leave the world of stand-up comedy to pursue a career in politics, it has been revealed today. Whilst he has never expressed interest in politics...

Apple set to launch Latin iphone app : the iClaudius 0
Watchdog 4 years
Northumbria police join Afghan manhunt 1
MrChigleysAunt 4 years

More in a week or so...

Mensa Egg-heads to tackle African Poverty 11
Golgo13 4 years

Mensa, the society for people who are good at IQ tests, have announced that they have been shining the beam of their collective intellect on some of the world’s most intractable problems, starting...

Man overcome by temptation; eats silica gel sachet 0
Mr Target 4 years

I want the one I can't have...