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EU supports M25 campaign for “anti-clockwise” to be known as ”the other way”

Roadworks (the M25 supporters group) have convinced the EU that the M25 is shown in a poor light when half of it is referred to in such an aggressive way. They argued that the term...

Gary Baldy 03.10.11 7:02pm
Greetings Card's Accessory Salesman of the Year hailed for 'pushing the envelope 3
ronseal 03.10.11 7:01pm
Amanda Knox to be burned at the stake after losing appeal

Judges agree with prosecutors and demand "Burn, burn, burn the witch!"...

Waggys Dog 03.10.11 6:54pm
Waggys Dog
World record traffic queue – Caravan Club delighted

The congestion on the A30 at the weekend has landed Mr. Alan Collingwood in the record books. It was his caravan that held up a world record 176 cars as he trundled his way slowly back from the West...

Midfield Diamond 03.10.11 6:52pm
Greeks announce end of economic crisis-government will 'take in lodger' 0
writinginbsl 03.10.11 6:51pm
Pickles vows to strengthen Green Belt...

after his black leather one gave up under the strain...

John Ffitch-Rucker 03.10.11 6:49pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Tory Conference: Pickles announces burger subsidy, to appeal to wider audience. 0
kga6 03.10.11 5:57pm
Lunch boxes to contain meat and two veg, government decrees 0
Clarky 03.10.11 5:21pm
Danish rasher message targets fatties

As well as a ‘fat tax’, the government of Denmark is introducing a new system for marking bacon. Instead of having ‘Danish’ written all over it, the message will now read, 'Put me down, you...

Clarky 03.10.11 5:00pm
New manager pledges to return Nottingham Forest to Divison 3 'imminently' 21
Mr Payne 03.10.11 4:33pm
Wenger targets top seventeen finish...

With Arsenal's current run of bad form continuing, Arsene Wenger has conceded that soon, the only reason he will need to visit Europe, is to catch up with elderly relativesadding wryly that some of...

spoole2112 03.10.11 4:11pm
O.J. Simpson to play Michael Jackson's doctor in biopic of singer's death 0
JayGee 03.10.11 4:02pm
Man is still left pondering if he's an Americano drinker

After weeks of self-analysis and soul searching, IT consultant Bill Mason (24) is still left pondering if he's a cappuccino or an Americano man. He explains that he's always been a regular size...

roybland 03.10.11 3:38pm
New Kate Moss cosmetics to be sold by the gramme

More soon (but possibly not)...

dvo4fun 03.10.11 3:27pm
Alma telescope identifies unexplained particles on Peter Crouch's head.

In a departure from its quest to resolve the mystery of the Cosmic Dawn, the world's most complex telescope has inadvertantly stumbled accross the answer to another question that has baffled top...

spoole2112 03.10.11 3:05pm
Pound Shops near you are now dealing in Euro Bonds

Consumers in Liverpool and Hull already own 15% of the total number of EU bonds on issue. A spokesman for Pound Shops (UK) said, "We realized that major stakes in EU states are now affordable to the...

Tom55 03.10.11 2:56pm

IT was celebrations all round in the North East of England last night as Newcastle couple Kevin and Donna-Marie Hannaway matched 3 numbers on the Lotto main draw and won £10. Kevin,(32) and...

delightfullyodd 03.10.11 12:36pm
Scorsese's Ringo Starr epic to be a DVD extra on George Harrison documentary 0
Iamthestig 03.10.11 12:35pm
Chancellor Osborne "We're the party of small businesses" is to start with Nissan 0
dvo4fun 03.10.11 12:22pm
No early tax cuts, claims George Osborne; We don't get up till after lunch. 0
Screenie 03.10.11 12:17pm
Government unveils plans for a dribbling, incontinent workforce

The government have unveiled their plans for a dribbling, incontinent workforce by removing the statutory retirement age and raising the state pension age to 95 The upper classes have welcomed the...

suepersonic 03.10.11 11:39am
Wally with the Brolly ends Reign 1
Midfield Diamond 03.10.11 10:43am
Midfield Diamond
Council houses to be frozen once more this year

Following an upturn in hypothermia related deaths in late 2010, Chancellor Gideon Osborne has announced plans to freeze council houses for a second year in succession, a move that he hopes will...

spoole2112 03.10.11 10:41am
Workers on minimum wage welcome new-style £50 note

Workers who are paid the minimum wage have warmly welcomed the newly designed £50 note to be introduced next month. 'It'll make life so much easier for me,' said care worker Jane Bradbury....

roybland 03.10.11 9:54am
New Kate Moss cosmetic line fees not to be sniffed at say City experts. 0
dvo4fun 03.10.11 9:25am
Redundant wedding-cake factory workers ‘break down in tiers’. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 03.10.11 9:02am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Restaurant called couple at home to ask 'is everything still all right?'

As John and Nicola Williams prepared for bed, they were astonished to get a phone call from the restaurant where they'd dined earlier that evening. 'I was just about to get into bed, when the phone...

roybland 03.10.11 8:35am
Marr's ears a curse and a blessing.

Whilst on his way along London's Thames embankment to present his Sunday morning news programme at the BBC studios Andrew Marr was sucked out through the open roof of his car by a freak gust of wind...

Rogertrout 03.10.11 8:07am
John Ffitch-Rucker
X - Factor judge breaks down in tears

As the X Factor judging rolled on in the various 'houses' across the world, Gary Barlow of 'Take That' fame burst into tears when one of his winning contestants refused the offer of a place in the...

Rogertrout 03.10.11 6:49am
Greece Fail to Hit Debt Repay Targets Despite "Definitely Posting Cheque"

Greece has apologised for missing debt repayment targets which were agreed as part of the loan arrangements with the European Central Bank and as set in its austerity measures. Greece told the EU...

thisisall1word 03.10.11 12:11am