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New app offers manly friendship that stops you mid sentence with glib advice

The new Glib Advisor, currently available on Android but coming to the iPHone soon, will offer manly friendship to isolated men on the go. Though Glib Advisor's voice recognition software is only 80...

ronseal 28.05.11 1:28pm
Boris inspired by 'On the Buses': new double decker will have Butlers

Boris Johnson introduced a radical revision to London's transport policy yesterday, after watching a re-run of 'On the Buses' on digital channel David: "Blakey inspired me to use real butlers on our...

28.05.11 8:17am
"What Cheryl Did Next" headline inevitable, fear newspaper afficionados

The decline of the British newspaper could reach a new morale sapping stage, with an unstoppable tide of 'What Cheryl Did Next' headlines due to wash up on Fleet Street any day now. With confidence...

ronseal 28.05.11 9:16am
Gil Scott-Heron's funeral will be televised. more soon 5
Mrblacker 28.05.11 12:56pm
Tesco home delivery revealed as alternative to "Crappy food skip"

Supermarket giant Tesco has refused, despite criticism from its customers, to confirm that its home delivery service is, in fact, the route to deliver a load of sub-standard and too-close to sell-by...

antharrison 29.05.11 5:42am
Chris Huhne fastest in Monaco qualifying. Wife takes pole position. 0
27.05.11 9:16pm
Thatcher impersonator dies. Clegg to step in as Prime Minister 0
rickwestwell 27.05.11 8:46pm
Carole Caplin "sexy massage" trial concludes with happy ending

yes yes yes more more more more soon...

button 27.05.11 5:59pm
Millions hoping that Margaret Thatcher will impersonate Janet Brown... More Soon 0
404 Not Found 27.05.11 5:31pm
404 Not Found
Schoolboy Reaches Summit of Everest.

Its all downhill from here...

Dun Dunkin 28.05.11 12:47pm
Lie Detector Instructions "Wrong Way Round" Admit Police

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson announced today that the police have been misreading their polygraph machines for the last 50 years. Sir Paul blamed supplier Elstrom IT for the...

jampot 27.05.11 4:41pm
Manchester United's star defender quits to join Hogwarts Old Boys side

Nemanja Quidditch...

pinxit 27.05.11 4:20pm
Plans for German word for efficiency to contain one syllable quickly approved 1
thisisall1word 27.05.11 6:10pm
Mladic is 'fit'. 0
SingingHinny 27.05.11 3:08pm
Mladic shares Strauss-Kahn's cell, 'has his back against the wall' 0
pere floza 27.05.11 2:46pm
pere floza
Death of Janet Brown leaves Thatcher with no remaining purpose

so no more...

pere floza 27.05.11 2:43pm
pere floza
Epileptic caravanner regrets ‘if this is a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’’ sign 9
jp1885 27.05.11 6:45pm
Anti-Wookiee legislation starts today 0
Sinnick 27.05.11 2:37pm
Allies 'will finish Libya job' - Nick Clegg to organise AV vote

The Allies have vowed to 'finish the job' in Libya by getting Nick Clegg to organise a vote on the AV system and explain it to Colonel Gadaffi., 'I tell you, this man is dynamite,' said David...

John Wiltshire 27.05.11 2:16pm
John Wiltshire
Mladic to be given fair trial - unlike his thousands of victims 0
John Wiltshire 27.05.11 2:09pm
John Wiltshire
Mladic judged 'evil enough' to stand trial 0
John Wiltshire 27.05.11 2:07pm
John Wiltshire
Justine Thornton admits to marrying due to sex

Amidst much media speculation regarding the reason behind the wedding of Labour leader Ed Milliband and his partner of seven years Justine Thornton has finally decided to settle the issue. Seeking to...

gregle 27.05.11 1:24pm
Vatican TV launches "I'm a Celibate Get Met Out Of Here" 0
andhrimnir 27.05.11 1:16pm
5 stars outbreak as more Newsbiscuit writers award themselves top marks

5 stars for this post, naturally...

Mr Payne 01.06.11 11:36am
Cheryl Cole "proper steamed them Yanks cannut unnstan' wot ah'm tarkin' aboot&qu

More proper Geordie later. Ah'm goon doon ter Bigg Market an' get proper lashed...

JohnA 27.05.11 1:05pm
Sting readopts geordie accent in rant over 'proper shite' "Geordie Shore" 0
SingingHinny 27.05.11 12:48pm
Bobcat Goldthwait Announced as New US X Factor Judge 0
thisisall1word 27.05.11 12:42pm
Sharon Shoesmith to be compensated for death of Baby P

The former head of Haringay Social Services, Sharon Shoesmith, was today found not guilty of being responsible for her department, and will be given loads of money to make up for the death of Peter...

John Wiltshire 29.05.11 4:56pm
Knight fails drink driving test, sues police

A knight has claimed that being asked to walk in a straight line was a breach of his human rights. A police spokesperson dismissed the allegation. "The gentleman in question was clearly drunk," she...

pthr 28.05.11 11:45am
obesity epidemic hits British electrons, claim scientists.

Scientists at Imperial College, London, have discovered that British electrons are now so fat, they are almost completely spherical. A researcher said, "some of them are so perfectly spherical that...

be reasonable 27.05.11 11:20am
be reasonable