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Sixteen-year-old wins Scowling Teen of the Year Award

Blackpool schoolgirl Lucy Lusted (16) was last night voted Scowling Teen of the Year by teen mag Sulk.,  , Sulk's editor Belinda Bowles (18) said the judges were 'blown away by Lucy's superior...

roybland 10.08.11 8:04pm
Rioters display poor technique claims Geoff Boycott

Rioters smashing shops across the country aren't using the proper and accepted methods of rioting, according to the former Yorkshire and England opening batsman Geoffrey Boycott. After analysing...

Mrblacker 10.08.11 7:56pm
Millionaire murderer to be extradited

even though he's clinically depressed about being found out...

greg various 10.08.11 6:10pm
greg various
Met Police call in ex-News of the World journalists to hack rioters Blackberries

Faced with sophisticated rioters organising themselves through Blackberry Messenger, the Metropolitan Police has called in specialist support from telecoms and intelligence-gathering experts who...

Long Distance Clara 10.08.11 5:00pm
Zadok the second
Some of the rioters aren't even interested in football, complains Harry The Dog 0
ronseal 10.08.11 4:44pm
Tottenham Hostpur offer to rebuild riot-hit areas with new stadium. 0
martin2381 10.08.11 3:39pm
Rioters in Bristol cause £16m worth of improvements. 0
martin2381 10.08.11 3:34pm
Ryanair offers looting holidays to London and Birmingham.

And would you put it past them?...

martin2381 10.08.11 3:33pm
Millwall fans defend Eltham.

They are patrolling the streets singing "no one loots us we don't care"...

rebel not taken 10.08.11 3:11pm
rebel not taken
E-Looters target Amazon website by throwing bricks at own laptop screens.

Morons Soon...

seymour totti 10.08.11 3:00pm
seymour totti
Southern Rail ‘to put woman on Moon’ by 2015

Southern Railway has announced a bold plan to put a person on the Moon by 2015, while warning that engineering works and unforeseen atmospheric conditions could delay arrival by a year or so....

Des Custard 10.08.11 2:42pm
Des Custard
Politicians repeated over-use of 'Robust' almost on par with 'Deeply Saddened'

Repeated questions to explain themselves in depth ignored. More soon...

The Return of DroleNoel 10.08.11 2:37pm
The Return of DroleNoel
Phworr! Loads of lovely girls get A’levels

Up and down the country, thousands of attractive girls have performed a traditional British summer coming-of-age ceremony by looking happy for the cameras as they celebrate their A’level results....

Oxbridge 10.08.11 2:17pm
India fans 'may riot' to avoid drubbing

Following the successful campaign by rioters to prevent the England football team getting tonked by Holland, India cricket fans are today considering going on the rampage around Edgbaston...

Midfield Diamond 10.08.11 1:40pm
Midfield Diamond
Man City fans disgusted after youngsters help themselves to silverware 1
Duncan Biscuit 10.08.11 1:29pm
Midfield Diamond
Bullingdon Club to reform

After watching the riots unfold from the comfort of his holiday home, Boris Johnson, has said he is reinvigorated and set to reform the Old Bullingdon Club gang. “It’s all just high spirits.,...

whickerman 10.08.11 1:19pm
Tottenham to offer ‘Nictatelli’ a trial

An unknown local youngster that Harry Redknapp has only watched on TV is Spurs’ latest target. The mystery youth shows nifty footwork and an impressive turn of speed in the ten second clip, during...

Midfield Diamond 10.08.11 11:57am
Midfield Diamond
Rio Ferdinand to address the nation on Twitter.

Kick Off 19.45 (Sky Sports 1HD)...

rebel not taken 10.08.11 11:53am
rebel not taken
Debenhams reviews security after perfume staff delay looters for only 10 minutes 1
Duncan Biscuit 10.08.11 11:04am
Looter who stole CRT TV is ridiculed by peers 0
antharrison 10.08.11 10:51am
Rioting is getting easier, hears parliamentary committee. 0
the coarse whisperer 10.08.11 10:26am
the coarse whisperer
Inmates of Cell Block #9 'Just sitting about, really' 0
Skylarking 10.08.11 10:08am
Government to tackle rioters with army of Nanas

The Government has announced a radical new measure to assist exhausted police and force young rioters out of our towns and cities. Operation Battenburg will see thousands of elderly ladies take to...

evilsuperstar 10.08.11 10:06am
PM flies home as silly season drought enters fifth week

Prime Minister David Cameron has returned to London as the dearth of any silly season in the printed and broadcast media continues into its fifth week. The PM is set to be joined by the entire...

Skylarking 10.08.11 9:44am
Apple Launches new iPredictaRiot App 0
captain747480 10.08.11 9:27am
Tesco offers to pay £10m OFT fine with Clubcard vouchers 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.08.11 9:14am
Duncan Biscuit
Rioters still steering clear of Job Centres 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 10.08.11 9:10am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Economy upturn as city stores discover new way of moving old stock easily.

No more soon...

Steve Wilson 10.08.11 8:37am
Steve Wilson
Disturbing rise in copycat soundbites denounced as 'completely unacceptable' 0
Ludicity 10.08.11 8:31am
Looters take Tuesday night off to get stuff on eBay. 0
Steve Wilson 10.08.11 8:30am
Steve Wilson