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UN Peacekeepers deployed to Elton John peace concert, as violence a real threat

The UN today confirmed that 3,000 UN Peacekeeprs will be deployed to ensure violence doe not break out a a planned Elton John concert. In recent years the former singer has resorted to shouting out...

simonjmr 16.06.12 8:50am
Flood at homoeopathy warehouse causes £0 of damage

Homoeopathic workers have expressed relief after a major storage facility for the medicines was flooded; "It's actually saved us a bit of work.", explained a spokesman, "Although it will take us a...

apepper 16.06.12 8:44am
Viagra in Niagara scandal as tightrope walker uses extra pole 0
Yikes 16.06.12 8:42am
Honour amongst thieves delights underworld

An armed robber who has held up over 100 Post Offices and betting shops throughout the UK has been unrecognised in the Queen’s Birthday Honours list., The robber, who was made an OBE after...

Nerys Hughes 16.06.12 7:53am
Nerys Hughes
Cameron: "Young people born into poverty will be allowed to remain in poverty" 0
weematt 16.06.12 6:28am
Retaining Stirling is Key to Scottish Independence Bid

The Scottish National Party have announced that retaining Stirling is central to their independence plans. Speculation had been mounting on the viability of a Stirling enclave remaining in the...

doubtingthomas 16.06.12 6:23am
"No record" of Brown-Murdoch call because Brown reversed the charges... 0
deskpilot3 15.06.12 10:09pm
Bank of England finds £160bn down the back of the sofa. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 15.06.12 10:08pm
Girl,9,demonstrates blogosphere is composed of complete morons

A nine-year-old girl has demonstrated that the blogosphere is composed of complete morons by getting 2.75 million people to look at her photographs of school dinners. 'When I first started my...

roybland 15.06.12 8:25pm
Jonathan Pearce announces trial of new tone for Ukraine commentary

Ahead of Tuesday's Euro 2012 clash between England and Ukraine, BBC Sport's Jonathan Pearce has bowed to pressure from viewers and agreed to try out a new vocal tone for his commentary during the...

Haywood Manley 15.06.12 8:05pm
Haywood Manley
Tiger Woods wins Ronseal Sponsorship....

Good with Wood!...

Jammydodgers 15.06.12 7:55pm
Irish dermatologist changes his name to Dermot 1
nickb 15.06.12 5:51pm
Haywood Manley
Front porch leak blamed on Jehovah's wetness. 0
nickb 15.06.12 5:27pm
Ukranian police hunt Stock, Aitken & Waterman after Bananarama thrown on pitch. 0
bonjonelson 15.06.12 5:03pm
Russian police hunt Mexican hooligan after bandana thrown on pitch. 0
Thor 15.06.12 4:48pm
Balotelli in moral turmoil as opponent slips on banana skin thrown on pitch 0
Haywood Manley 15.06.12 3:43pm
Haywood Manley
Jehovah's WItnesses in Kingdom Hall fracas

Several Jehovah's Witnesses were involved in a brutal clash yesterday morning when their weekly praise session was rudely interrupted by several drunken six pack wielding Football fans, draped in...

simonjmr 15.06.12 2:40pm
Nails UK
IKEA instructions found for Humpty Dumpty 0
Not Amused 15.06.12 2:40pm
Not Amused
Chancellor moves to stimulate banks' shareprices 0
medici2471 15.06.12 1:34pm
Dermatologists making rash decisions 7
seymour totti 15.06.12 12:21pm
Leveson inquiry faces chop due to dwindling viewing figures

Latest reports are claiming that the Leveson inquiry will not be returning to our screens for a second season as viewing figures continue to fall. The show launched in the latter stages of 2011...

Vertically Challenged Giant 15.06.12 11:35am
' Once in a Lifetime' Opportunity for UK Banks

1st in line this morning, Britain’s SME (Smug Morose Egotistical) Bankers eagerly queue up to borrow (Osborne’s £80bl ‘low interest’ windfall) from each other. .. will genuine SME’s...

HenryMJUK 15.06.12 11:20am
Jesus "embarrassed" as God moves "in mysterious ways" at wedding

“Look everyone knows that your dad dancing at a wedding is like sooo embarrassing?” a red faced Messiah said at Cana yesterday. “Well when it’s my dad, let me tell you, it’s extra...

nickb 15.06.12 10:55am
Homeopathic marriages pose concentration risk, warns FSA 0
cinquecento 15.06.12 10:35am
Greek cook turned Toronto novelist creates moose saga 0
cinquecento 15.06.12 10:33am
Olympic Opening Ceremony Set To Be Crap.

Danny Boyle has admitted he’s pocketed £89 million pounds allocated to the Olympics opening ceremony and is just going to ‘bung out a few sheep and chickens onto a bit of grass. They’ll...

daneade 15.06.12 9:16am
Simba “not threatened” by news of Gay Pride parade 0
Yikes 15.06.12 8:42am
Fans' Despair As Drum Solo Looks Set To Make A Return

It was something thought to have been eradicated over thirty years ago, but now fears are growing that the drum solo is set to make a return to live gigs throughout Britain just as we are about to...

Duff 15.06.12 8:41am
Apple defends new iPhone game, Angry Kurds

Apple have come out in defence of Angry Kurds; the long-awaited follow-up to Rovio Mobile's iPhone sensation Angry Birds. Recently appointed Apple CEO, Tim Cook, described the game as “a cheerful...

Qoxiivi 15.06.12 6:45am
Lidl rename cheese 'yummy moo lumps' after letter from moron

Always keen to put the customer first, Lidl has responded to a letter from a moron by renaming all their cheese-flavoured products 'yummy moo lumps'. "We received a letter written in crayon from one...

15.06.12 4:22am