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UK Border Agency in trouble over "skills gap"

The home affairs committee has welcomed plans by the UK Border Agency (UKBA) to create a National Allegations Database to manage information provided by the public on possible immigration violations....

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GreyWolf 24.07.12 11:40am
GreyWolf
Twitter to reduce tweet characters by 20% tomorrow

Twitter confirmed last night that tweets would be limited to 112 characters with immediate effect, as the global economic downturn continued to depress its revenue streams.  'With the current...

1
NewSuburbanDad 24.07.12 11:36am
NewSuburbanDad
"Cash in Handjobs morally wrong" says Cynthia Payne

Luncheon vouchers...

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ginty 24.07.12 11:27am
ginty
VISA Approved Prostitutes Will Not Accept Cash In Olympic Village - Warns Coe 0
24.07.12 11:20am
'Cash-in-Hand morally wrong' says minister, 'should be in brown envelopes' 0
Perks 24.07.12 10:29am
Perks
New Olympic rules to ban athletes with unfair genetic advantages

Building on regulations that prevent women with unusually high levels of testosterone from competing as women, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and International Association of Athletics...

0
ajg4004 24.07.12 8:59am
ajg4004
Hollywood veteran Dick Van Dyke is appointed Cockney rhyming slang Tsar

In a surprise move today legendary entertainer and honorary Pearly King, Dick Van Dyke, has been appointed as Britain's Cockney Rhyming Slang Tsar and has been charged with getting kids at East...

0
Duff 24.07.12 8:02am
Duff
Bashar al-Assad tipped for Nobel peace prize

Syrian president, Bashar al-Assad, is the favourite for the Nobel peace prize after his decision not to gas the civilian population. People in the street paid tribute; "He is a living saint to only...

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apepper 24.07.12 7:52am
apepper
Surprise as the Nazgûl are drafted in for additional Olympic security 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 24.07.12 5:38am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Team BG under strength after loss of Maurice & Robin.

More-soo-choo-sessss...

0
MADJEZ 23.07.12 11:55pm
MADJEZ
Pippa Middleton’s Ass To Light Olympic Cauldron

Organisers who promised an Olympic flame ‘wow’ moment have decided to deliver a ‘phwoar’ moment as well, as leaked documents show the honour of lighting the Olympic Cauldron will go to Pippa...

3
daneade 23.07.12 11:52pm
MADJEZ
Syrian military dismisses Aurora shootings as "crude and amateurish" 0
FlashArry 23.07.12 11:37pm
FlashArry
SAUDI ARABIAN SWIM TEAM TO BOYCOTT GAMES

In a surprise move the women’s Saudi Arabian swim team has decided to boycott the 2012 Olympic Games sighting unfair rules and regulations. Sarah Shahkerkani, spokeswoman for the Saudi swim team,...

0
spur of the moment 23.07.12 9:48pm
spur of the moment
Jammed Aurora gun maker apologises, reassures customers malfunction is "rare"

The jamming of the rapid fire assault weapon used in the Colorado massacre is a “rare event, probably attributable to user error” said an apologetic spokesperson for Litearms Corp, which sells...

2
nickb 23.07.12 9:31pm
nickb
Man's phone rings during Dark Knight Rises

Many were looking forward to watching the latest installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman, but in a cinema in Portsmouth film lovers had there experience tragically ruin when an inconsiderate cinema...

8
confuzzled 23.07.12 8:34pm
Stratford shopkeeper jailed for answering telephone after '5 rings'

An East End shopkeeper has been sentenced to five years in prison, after admitting breaching stringent trading rules around Olympic Games related intellectual property., Sixty Eight year old...

1
Underconstruction 23.07.12 7:30pm
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5 days to go and Boris Johnson still waiting for Team GB whiff whaff call up. 3
MADJEZ 23.07.12 7:27pm
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Syria pledge on chemical weapons: will massacre everyone using guns instead.

Civilians in Syria rejoice after the benevolent government announce they will be massacred using guns and rocket-propelled grenades instead of chemical warfare. One Syrian was reported to have said,...

0
Gary Baldy 23.07.12 6:44pm
Gary Baldy
After Aurora suspect's appearance, sponsors pull Ronald MacDonald from 2012 ads 0
pinxit 23.07.12 6:32pm
pinxit
Euro Crisis: Spain expels costal province. 'Costa Borrowin ruining us.' 0
pinxit 23.07.12 6:27pm
pinxit
Team GB hopes in tatters, as only one in four athletes turn up for training 0
Underconstruction 23.07.12 5:52pm
Underconstruction
Organisers regret hiring G-Force for Olympic security.

Baddum tschhhhh http://www.majorspoilers.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06a/G_Forceshot2.jpg...

0
MADJEZ 23.07.12 5:36pm
MADJEZ
Wiggins 'feared attack by cycle-path' 0
Underconstruction 23.07.12 4:56pm
Underconstruction
Priority parking becomes most expensive paralympic ticket

More to follow...

0
Underconstruction 23.07.12 4:54pm
Underconstruction
Dog walking to be introduced as a Demonstration Sport at London Olympics.

The Olympic Committee, coming under heavy pressure from LOCOG and the Kennel Club, has relented at the last minute, and is to allow Dog Walking and Associated Events into London 2012 as a...

0
Al OPecia 23.07.12 4:34pm
Al OPecia
Bradley Wiggins & Team Sky to resolve Euro crisis "Straight after Olympics"

Loads more heroics soon...

0
grottymonty 23.07.12 4:16pm
grottymonty
Insurance Industry shocked to discover Confused.com has early onset Alzheimers

And compare ze meerkat is dyslexic...

0
Ian Searle 23.07.12 4:05pm
Ian Searle
Kennel Club defies critics by launching dog with two cocks

In an apparent snub to critics who claim pedigree dogs are inbred, mutated and miserable, the Kennel Club has released a 'breed standard' for a dog with two cocks. "Just look at his little face, you...

3
23.07.12 3:38pm
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Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States

Pet owners wanting to turn their pets into lookalikes of the favourite celebrities, a craze that began in Los Angeles, could be headed to the UK. Plastic surgery for dogs and cats is big business in...

3
HIGNFY 23.07.12 3:03pm
HIGNFY
WMDs don't kill people, George Bush and his Poodle kill people, says Iran 1
ronseal 23.07.12 2:43pm
Sinnick