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Knighted Jonathan Ive critical of design of Queen's dubbing sword

Jonathan Ive, Apple's head of design who was knighted in the New Year Honours list, is said to be critical of the design of the ceremonial sword that will be used by the Queen to confer the honour on...

roybland 02.01.12 9:39pm
Great boobs of fire. Implants latest.

More to follow...

Baubo 02.01.12 9:32pm
Duke of Edinburgh marks Scott expedition with epic walk to church

The Duke of Edinburgh has been applauded by spectators as he walked 400m to church for a New Year's Day service.,  , 'It was marvellous,' said Janice Hill (23) who with hundreds of others...

roybland 02.01.12 9:04pm
Creationist urges police to charge him despite complete 'lack of evidence'

A creationist has confused the whole of the judicial system by insisting the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) push forward and charge him with 'threatening behaviour' despite a complete lack of...

Perks 02.01.12 8:46pm
"Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass are big fat gayers" inspiration for twitter

A class mate of Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass today claims that his graffiti in public toilets that "Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass are big fat gayers" was the inspiration for twitter. More soon...

simonjmr 02.01.12 6:51pm
Shoplifting voucher gets 30% off sentence and chance to redeem itself 1
kga6 02.01.12 4:40pm
Drag racers insist stilettos not a safety risk 5
nickb 02.01.12 4:37pm
Germany Mulls Over 'Heroic' Third Attempt at European Domination

Germany was pondering invading Poland once again in a 'Back to Basics' Foreign Policy that has enraged her neighbouring countries. "We live in a time of great social and economic uncertainty and...

SimonJJames 02.01.12 4:36pm
David Cameron: Country can survive despite Olympics and Diamond Jubilee

In a new year message, David Cameron calls on Britons to show a 'stiff upper lip' in the face of the 2012 challenge of the Olympic Games and the Queen's Diamond Jubliee.,  , 'The government will...

roybland 02.01.12 4:25pm
All ELC and CBeebies CDs to come with Parental Warning stickers

"this product may cause parents to go insane, when played constantly" More soon...

simonjmr 02.01.12 4:04pm
Hotpoint washer's new 'Hydro-thermal' technology. So, hot water then. Who knew?

It's a fucking washing machine! What did we expect? Cold water and stones?...

dvo4fun 02.01.12 4:00pm
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Charged in Connection To Life Insurance Scam 0
sredni vashta 02.01.12 3:46pm
sredni vashta
Rupert Murdoch's twitter account hacked. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.01.12 1:38pm
Iran Triggers Tit for Tat Displays of Military Might

NATO and other Western bloc allies responded over the new year to news reports of the Iranian Military's test firing of a Medium Range Surface to Air Missile. Many cities around the world...

StevenRolland 02.01.12 1:07pm
Clarkson, Murdoch and Morgan top New Year Honour Killing List 5
Ironduke 02.01.12 11:25am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Andrew Sachs left gloating message on my answering machine, sobs Russell Brand 7
ronseal 02.01.12 11:16am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Sachs sings "I kissed a Boy and didn't like it" on Brand's ansaphone. More soon 0
Al OPecia 02.01.12 10:57am
Al OPecia
TOWIE and Made in Chelsea to be Hadron collided to create Ultra-reality

or just for a laugh says bored Scientist...

SimonJJames 02.01.12 10:53am
Santa criticised for putting post-xmas list of naughty girls on eBay 0
nickb 02.01.12 10:18am
Jonathan Ive to be made iKnight in The Queen's New Year Honours

Apple 'design guru' Jonathan Ive is to be knighted by The Queen this month in a live webcast to be be streamed around the globe. Sir Jonathan, or just iKnight as he prefers to now be addressed, is...

irregular apple 02.01.12 3:46am
irregular apple
Osborne plots monarchy privatisation as Jubilee costs threaten economic recovery 0
irregular apple 02.01.12 3:38am
irregular apple
US to use "Stealth Hangovers" on Taliban

The Pentagon has admitted that it has begun usung "Stealth Hangovers" in their war against the Taliban in the Afghan border region. "Over the last few years we have been researching those kinds of...

Quaz 01.01.12 10:32pm
The All New Jeni B
Old Macdonald still undecided about wind noise

"With a whoosh-whoosh here, a whoosh-whoosh there.oh dear, it's not right, is it?" In a rare interview the man responsible for the public face of UK agriculture (with special responsibilities to...

nickb 01.01.12 9:39pm
Scottish culinary experts still hope to develope deep fried heroin 0
ronseal 01.01.12 8:20pm
Panda battered in Scotland

Police have revealed that a panda has been taken into custody in Edinburgh charged with domestic abuse. Police have released the following statement: "Officers were called to Edinburgh Zoo not long...

Psycadelic Squirrel 01.01.12 7:14pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Rebekah Brooks hot tip for Queen's Award to Infamy. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 01.01.12 4:37pm
New Year's Honours latest; James Murdoch becomes "Lord Voldemort"

In a surprise New Year's honours list, James Murdoch has received a peerage to become Lord Voldemort...

apepper 01.01.12 3:53pm
Al OPecia
Russell Brand follows up My Booky Wooky with My Divorcey Worcey

More to follow...

victimms 01.01.12 3:03pm
CERN launches new TV channel "Faster than light - 1"

More before...

antharrison 01.01.12 3:02pm
Excitement as IOC announces online bingo will be included in the 2012 Olympics. 0
dominic_mcg 01.01.12 1:41pm