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Cameron's Bike Gone Missing 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Police are on the look-out for PM Cameron's 'green' bike, which hasn't been seen since the election. Also, gone missing are a number of nicey-nicey policies. However, the police suspect that these...

***** 10
IABP 4 years
Retrospective abortions proposed for those on benefits 0
hero2zero 4 years

A plan to allow retrospective abortions in order to reduce family size amongst those on benefits is being considered by the coalition, offspring would be eligible to be aborted up to the age of...

Cameron insists that the latest Tory Alumni conference was not held in Hungary.. 0
moonbeam 4 years

but was the subject of a leak somewhere in the universe under the banner of "A New Hope"...

Party conferences 'Most watched repeat programmes on iPlayer' 0
antharrison 4 years

The BBC's IT department is struggling to install new equipment and network bandwidth in time to meet the unprecedented demand for access to the highlights of the political party conferences "As fast...

MoD Navy Cutbacks latest: "Duplicate subs to be scrapped". 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Jury finds shooting barristers at £300 an hour lawful 1
roybland 4 years
Nobel Prize awarded to man responsible for more sodding kids 3
Kuifje 4 years

The Nobel Prize has been awarded to Robert G Edwards, a man whose groundbreaking work in in vitro fertilization has allowed the world to be populated by yet more annoying kids than it would have done...

UK Border Agency admits... 0
one against the world 4 years

it has no idea how many X- Factor contestants are in the country...

Man not aware of gravity sues council after being hit by conker in local park 3
Basil_B 4 years
Simon Cowell downgraded from "Has-been" to "Never-was" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Hungry people plagued by mystery red sludge. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

British foetuses able to distinguish good wine from the cheap stuff, study finds 3
Gary Stanton 4 years

Doctors confirmed yesterday what expectant mothers knew all along, that the odd bottle of wine here and there won’t do the little fella any harm . A study measuring the effects of alcohol on...

Westminster shock as Minister admits to being an evidence user and resigns 5
Redundantpublicservant 4 years

Late last night news began to emerge of a junior minister likely to be ‘outed’ in the near future as an evidence user. As rumours began to spread speculation mounted as to the identity of the...

Ending public sector gold plated pensions unfair says UK gold platers 0
Redundantpublicservant 4 years

Leaders of the UK's gold plating industry reacted angrily to the news that gold plated public sector pensions were to cease. 'It's bad news and make no mistake,' said convenor Ian Got. 'The only...

Queen asks for clarification of state-funding for large families 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
‘One who dropped fart still holding out on other miners’ say rescue workers 0
Nobby Holder 4 years

More soonlet's hope not...

Baby Hunt by Government Minister James (Adult Content) 1
Kazytc 4 years

Jeremy Hunt, the UK Government's, Culture Secretary ,announced today, that the state should not, support large families. His remark has sparked an outrage, making parents of large families, look for...

Lab tests confirm that father of two not ‘made of money’ 2
dicky37 4 years

After years of repeatedly claiming to his wife and sons that he was not, as they seemed to believe, ‘made of money’, a West Midlands man has undergone a series of genetic tests to obtain...

British runner blames diarrhea for slipping on blocks for not winning gold 0
Basil_B 4 years

Team GB Mark Lewis-Francis blamed a pre-race curry for not getting gold in the Commonwealth Games 100metre final today., 'Bloody native butter chicken' moaned Lewis-Francis. 'When I heard that...

Lady Gaga revealed to be granddaughter of Lord Haw Haw 7
bonjonelson 4 years

Papa's Papa's Nazi...

Trapped satirists could be reached by weekend 7
jp1885 4 years

(A slightly tweaked version of a previous sub) There are hopes the 33 satirists trapped in a Chilean miner meme could be reached for rescue as early as this weekend. Rescue teams have drilled to...

Germany invades poundland... 9
be reasonable 4 years

due to typographical error...

We can all enjoy even more of Chris Evans from next week. Set your alarm now. 4
Ostsee 4 years
British psyche under scrutiny as scientists investigate appeal of monkey butlers 1
la maga 4 years
Mark Knopfler and Sting to star in Wall Street 3: "Money for Nothing" 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Thomas the Tank Engine to be made in Korea as studio warns of 'train drain' 14
therustler 4 years

More soon. [with nod to mshumphreycushion]...

Turning Urine into drinking water the latest WEEE directive 1
Iamthestig 4 years
Exhibitionists that have sex outdoors have joined together 0
arrghgarry 4 years

to form a savings institution off the east coast of Yorkshire...

Aricept, Exelon and Reminyl available on NHS a No-Brainer 1
Erlang 4 years