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Comedians Asked Not To Make Jokes About Somalian Famine

as the Somalis have enough on their plates as it is...

Textbook 03.08.11 10:30am
Lauded "London By Night" Photographer admits forgetting to take off Lens Cap

"I spent ages setting up the shot, working on the exposure trying to get everything just perfect, put the lens cap on when it drizzled a little - and the rest is history" The classic shot (very...

gaijintendo 03.08.11 10:23am
Britain poised to celebrate POETS day

This week’s POETS (Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday) extravaganza is set to be the biggest ever say experts, with a staggering nine-tenths of the population of Great Britain planning to finish...

jp1885 03.08.11 9:22am
Duncan Bannatyne regrets announcing "I'm out" after yet another burglary

More soon. Hat-tip to Mark66...

OllieP 03.08.11 9:19am
Duncan Bannatyne tells kidnapper "I'm in", and undercuts him by £5000. 0
Mark66 03.08.11 6:57am
HM Queen embarks on grand state tour using Eurail pass

Following the decision of members of the royal family to return from the wedding of Zara Phillips on budget airlines, Buckingham Palace has announced that HM Queen has bought a Eurail pass in advance...

antharrison 02.08.11 11:15pm
Star left devastated after plea for privacy is accepted

A well known UK pop star is said to be 'completely devastated' after the British press agreed to honour their manager's plea for privacy during a difficult phase they're going through. The manager's...

William Pumpton 02.08.11 10:48pm
Postmen to be allowed to open your mail if you aren't in.

The Royal Mail today unveiled plans to allow its delivery staff to open parcels or post which needs to be signed for if a householder is not at home. The postmen will be allowed to open any items...

bonjonelson 02.08.11 9:44pm
Richard Branson to feature in Channel 4's 'Undercover boss' 1
antharrison 02.08.11 9:13pm
May-Bowles gets custardial sentence. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 02.08.11 8:50pm
Sun website users stolen data reveals that all victims were using IE6 1
charlies_hat 02.08.11 8:49pm
Apparently, It's Cheaper To Watch Crap Football Teams Than Decent Ones

thesplodge 02.08.11 8:18pm
Minister for Spotting Obvious Flaws quits as charities face crisis over cuts

The coalition government was rocked last night by the resignation of the Minister for Spotting Obvious Flaws in Arguments., Calls for the resignation of Amelia Hatstand had been mounting since she...

FraserWords 02.08.11 8:17pm
Last remaining cop not featured on TV makes Big Brother Bid

PC Andrew Jenkins feels isolated amongst his colleagues as he is the only remaining police officer in the country not to feature in a fly on the wall documentary. “Thanks to brilliant and...

button 02.08.11 8:09pm
James Blunt boosts morale of troops in Afghanistan...

by touring in Belgium. More soon...

be reasonable 02.08.11 8:07pm
Anagram arrested in phone hacking scandal. more soon 0
Mrblacker 02.08.11 7:50pm
Government to power Whitehall with 'Pickles on a treadmill'

The Energy Secretary Chris Huhne's confirmed a radical plan to cut the Government's carbon emissions and it involves a cabinet colleague. In a statement, Mr Huhne says all lighting in Whitehall will...

Mrblacker 02.08.11 7:40pm
Awkward start for new 'Dragon' Hilary Devey - "£50,000 to break someone's arms?

"I'm out". Possibly more to follow later - depends if inspiration strikes during risotto Anyone else is more than welcome to write something along these lines though, natch! If only I could get my...

Le Creuset Fiend 02.08.11 7:26pm
Liz Jones returns from Somalia 'feeling fat' 1
Christopher Frost 02.08.11 7:25pm
Ian Bell ordered out of Indian restaurant

England cricketer Ian Bell will not be allowed back in to his local Indian restaurant following an unfortunate incident last night. He was ordered out of the Taj Mahal restaurant in Dudley, West...

Midfield Diamond 02.08.11 6:23pm
Midfield Diamond
George W Bush switches from Firefox to Internet Explorer 0
antharrison 02.08.11 5:09pm
Royals Shock Passengers After Bizarre Behaviour On Flight From Wedding

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surprised many passengers on board a FlyBe plane when they boarded the flight in Edinburgh on their way home after the wedding of Zara Philips and Mike Tindall....

tezza 02.08.11 4:38pm
US Handball team suffers defeat at the hands of Japan 0
Dumbnews 02.08.11 4:30pm
Both May-Bowles and Gilmour in prison for defacing an old monument. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 02.08.11 3:55pm
Al OPecia
WORLD EVENTS PATIENTLY AWAIT END TO BBC STRIKE World events avoided happening and formed an orderly queue last night as the strike affecting BBC journalists continued...

Peter749400 02.08.11 3:41pm
Pie-thrower jailed. Paedophile fined. 0
Christopher Frost 02.08.11 3:35pm
Christopher Frost
Murdoch foam pie thrower jail sentence "fucking overkill" admits Magistrate 0
The Return of DroleNoel 02.08.11 3:04pm
The Return of DroleNoel
'Heartless' man allowed to rejoin society 0
Christopher Frost 02.08.11 2:42pm
Christopher Frost
Hollywood exec "we're not running out ideas"; Aliens vs Balamory script approved 0
thackaray 02.08.11 1:51pm
Over a third of school pupils in the bottom 50% says government. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 02.08.11 1:50pm