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Sarah Palin replaces Bristol with Lady Gaga

Sarah Palin announced today that she is disowning her daughter Bristol and replacing her with Lady Gaga. The move is seen as an indication that Palin is about to seriously pursue the Republican...

0
mbalton 09.06.11 4:35pm
mbalton
Chuggers to get proper dance lessons

Charity street collectors, affectionately known as Chuggers are to be given professional dancing instruction following a barrage of complaints from disgruntled shoppers. Professional choreographers...

1
Dick Everyman 09.06.11 3:53pm
DrTurmoil
McDonalds inspires festival to ban Morrissey 0
simonjmr 09.06.11 3:32pm
simonjmr
Exam mistakes - Liverpool schools multiple choice question options - A,A,A,A,A

Only 75% get it right...

1
brownpaperreporter 09.06.11 3:36pm
greg various
"Storm in a D cup" as Doncaster rovers sacks lingerie wearing mascot 0
simonjmr 09.06.11 3:16pm
simonjmr
President of web porn publishers tells members to create engorging content 0
ronseal 09.06.11 3:05pm
ronseal
Tony Blair and Gordon Brown helped advanced medical science

by becoming being the first successful arse transplant duo.In the end although the arse was rejected Tony thought it was a success because it got Gordon to shut the fuck up...

2
doggone 09.06.11 10:09pm
doggone
Archbishop’s attack on David Cameron dismissed as ‘bish bash posh’ 0
Qoxiivi 09.06.11 2:50pm
Qoxiivi
Pratchett denies he is Archbishop after flat-earth fantasy confusion

the other one on this here is of course better but I can't help noticing the uncanny resemblance. Except one of them is nice...

0
pere floza 09.06.11 2:31pm
pere floza
Kidnapped backpacker mainly worried about photo of her being used on the news

Trisha Campbell, a 31-year-old charity worker currently chained to a radiator in Yemen, was reported to be spending most of her time between being bundled roughly into the boot of cars and...

9
DrTurmoil 11.06.11 5:41pm
JonnyJP
Sparrow rules out Cock Robin inquest

Attorney general Dominic Sparrow has rejected calls for in inquest into the death of former scientist Dr Cock Robin. Mr Sparrow insisted that the evidence that Dr Robin killed himself was...

2
rickwestwell 09.06.11 8:05pm
rickwestwell
Pat Benatar urges Gaddafi to stop using sex as a weapon.

More dodgy 80s tunes soon...

0
MADJEZ 09.06.11 1:23pm
MADJEZ
Soylent Green the next big Biofuel, hope hedge funds

So says US led think tank The Heston Institute in a report published today. The Heston Institute, beleives that powerful hedge funds and multinationals who recently aqquired vast land holdings in...

2
Erlang 09.06.11 8:21pm
Erlang
Conservatives to indroduce voter friendly policies

The government is thought to be reconsidering its controversial plans to see through one of its policies., “We’ve had many years in opposition to refine and hone our policies that one of them...

2
virtuallywill 11.06.11 4:34pm
virtuallywill
Conspiracy theorists are all a conspiracy

A major piece of research by WikiCon, the world’s leading authority on conspiracy theories has revealed that conspiracy theorists are in fact in the employ of the world’s top super powers. The...

0
Dick Everyman 09.06.11 11:39am
Dick Everyman
Scientists capture anti-matter using Brian Cox's soothing voice

Scientists studying anti-matter in CERN have revealed how they have captured the illusive subtance - using the lullaby-voiced Brian Cox. The team of experts, who had a string of hits in the early...

4
09.06.11 10:24pm
Qoxiivi
'Pippa's bum would win under AV' claims Clegg

The Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, claimed today that under the Alternative Vote system, Pippa Middleton would have won Rear Of The Year instead of Carol Vorderman. 'To be frank,' he said to an...

2
John Wiltshire 10.06.11 5:15am
be reasonable
Archbishop of Banterbury criticises coalition policies!

The Archbishop of Banterbury has warned that the government is committing Britain to "radical, long-term policies for which no-one voted"., Writing in the New Statesman magazine, Dr Rowing Williams...

0
DiY 09.06.11 11:18am
DiY
Lib Dem party goes into deep sleep

The UK Liberal Democrat party which is heading for a devasting implosion, has been put into hibernation by its Coalition controllers. The command was sent from Downing Street on Wednesday,...

1
simonjmr 09.06.11 11:27am
DiY
Ken Clarke to introduce prisoner Nectar points

Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. Under the scheme those who...

7
Ludicity 10.06.11 11:46am
Ludicity
Exclusive! Extract from tonight's 'Prince Philip at 90' with Fiona Bruce

We have been fortunate to have been given a preview of tonight's interview of Prince Philip by Fiona Bruce. FB: Good evening, sir., PP: I say, come in this little room over here, my dear, it's...

1
John Wiltshire 09.06.11 11:31am
DiY
Tabloid delight as Carole Phwoarderman named female ‘Rear of the Year’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 09.06.11 10:13am
Duncan Biscuit
Premiership players spending a record proportion of wages on drink & prostitutes 3
Duncan Biscuit 09.06.11 10:55pm
Tristan Shout
Ofqual asked to compare and contrast, with examples, errors in exam papers 0
Duncan Biscuit 09.06.11 10:11am
Duncan Biscuit
Prince Charles' "bucket list" goes viral - only one item on it 6
Willy Eckerslike 10.06.11 7:28am
Willy Eckerslike
Kelly Death wishes to be disassociated with Iraq inquiry suicide 0
simonjmr 09.06.11 9:46am
simonjmr
Govt viewed with 'widespread suspicion' claims strange bearded man wearing dress 1
Ludicity 09.06.11 2:15pm
Prince Philip ruins 90th birthday party by behaving impeccably

Embarrassing gaffes later...

0
FraserWords 09.06.11 9:16am
FraserWords
Prince Harry wins Leer of the Year contest

Prince Harry was today celebrating his surprise victory in the coveted ‘Leer of the Year’ title, defeating hot favourite Ryan Giggs thanks to his work with Royal Wedding stunner Pippa Middleton.,...

0
FraserWords 09.06.11 9:14am
FraserWords
Coalition bashes Bishop. More soon.

Someone had to do it, I'd thought I'd get it out of the way so that we can all move on. And I've given myself 1 star, because there is no "zero stars" button...

2
Al OPecia 09.06.11 8:12am
saltire