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Exclusive extract inside: the first three chapters from Julian Assange’s book... 0
Doylem 4 years
Government Relaxed about Dioxin Contaminated eggs exported to UK 2
Dun Dunkin 4 years

British authorities said that the amounts of dioxin - which is linked to the development of cancer in humans - in any egg would be very small, and not enough to be dangerous. "Whether it went into...

"You're not the boss of me!" says CEO of State-Owned Bank 0
Grover 4 years

Stephen Hester, CEO of the state-owned Royal Bank of Scotland, has refused to stop paying huge bonuses to his employees. “You’re not the boss of me!” Hester told Vince Cable, Business...

Government announces that Easter Eggs are safe to eat. 2
Tammy Flugh 4 years

"They contain very little dioxin" a spokesman said, "and in any case they aren't on sale yet. What? They are? Really? Ah"...

Ambridge fans in backlash against "Lamb Swap" storyline 0
Erlang 4 years

A baa faced lie?, ewe never know...

Glasgow pantomime accused of breaking Geneva Convention 0
Iscariot 4 years

It features Jim Davidson...

Afghan bath bomb manufacture traced to UK retailer LUSH 0
flyerblade 4 years

Counter-terrorism officers have traced the Afghan bath bomb manufacture back to high street, hand-made 'smellies' peddler LUSH. The bath bombs, identified by their codenames 'Fizzbanger' and...

England Remembers How to Play Cricket 0
Grover 4 years

England have apparently re-discovered the rules and techniques required to play the sport known as “Cricket”, which they invented in the 16th century. This emerged after England beat Australia in...

Clegg told stance on terror by Cameron - Bend over and grasp your ankles. 2
A Crooked MP 4 years
Michel Roux's Dishwashing. 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

Thursday, 20:00 on BBC Two, Sequel to Michel Roux's Service. The Michelin star chef takes eight NEETS and tries to convince them that washing dishes in a posh restaurant is better than hanging...

Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, "The miracle of thought" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
US Democrats wish Boehner was pronounced "boner" 0
Grover 4 years
Man who says “I don’t drink” ruins evening for everyone... 1
Doylem 4 years

When Kevin Tasker announced “I don’t drink” to the guys assembled at the bar of the Rose and Crown, at the start of what looked like being a convivial after-work session, early Friday evening,...

Jedi-Sith coalition 'working very well' 1
Zadok the second 4 years

[i]Dark Side 'not actually dark. More dusky'[/i] Top Jedi Mace Windu has defended the record of the Sith-Jedi coalition Empire since it came to power last May. “It was soon clear that Jedi and...

Threat of punctual transport system ‘exaggerated’, say authorities 1
Des Custard 4 years

Ministers were quick this morning to play down fears of a punctual transport system after the official level of threat was raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’, saying the situation was far...

Criminals now forced to moonlight as firemen, reports trade mag Crime Scene 4
ronseal 4 years

Crime Scene, the trade magazine for the legally challenged community, has conducted a survey that shows that criminals are being forced to take second jobs to make ends meet., The hard up hoods are...

Danny Boyle referred to Trading Standards because 127 hours only lasts 94 mins. 1
Ian Searle 4 years

Doesn't do what it says on the tin...

Hit cowboy campfire song laments the decline of spam. 2
petebrown 4 years

More headlines on twitter @petebnewsagency

Film about Monarch's fruit nominated for Oscar... 2
victory V 4 years

Colin Firth unavailable for comment...

New iPhone app advises when owner is tossing off about phone too much 1
Nick McCarr 4 years

With nearly all iPhone owners in the habit of crapping on about all the marvelous things their phone can do it was time for a new app to remind them not to be tossers. The app is designed to start...

Students celebrate Nick Clegg's birthday with massive street party 0
Ludicity 4 years
First burning bendy buses, now poison eggs. Next - killer BMWs perhaps? 0
Ostsee 4 years
Archers Anniversary Shocks Listeners With "Farming and Rural Issues" 4
thisisall1word 4 years

Britain’s longest running soap opera The Archers has broadcast its controversial 60th anniversary episode angering many fans and seeing over 3,000 complaints made to the BBC. The radio programme,...

Bangladesh urges Australia to play Tests on next cricket tour 0
Nick McCarr 4 years

meanwhile Australian talent scouts are to tour South Africa...

Fireman who took second job as a drugs gang lynch pin set to blame Boris Johnson 0
ronseal 4 years
Bully charity to close, blames bullying 3
steve_l 4 years

The National Bullying Helpline has closed, it has been announced. A spokesman from the Swindon-based charity attributed the reasons to being picked on by a mental health and a homelessness charity....

Hapless England Cricketers Again Fail to Keep Clean Sheet 0
thisisall1word 4 years
Flu jab shortfall to be filled by increase in concerned looks from Cameron 0
thisisall1word 4 years
ITV bans people in Bristol from watching their channels; Bristol celebrates. 0
Mrblacker 4 years
God declared bankrupt after failing to pay taxes ,claims he never saw a penny 0
Malcum eggs 4 years

blames agents on earth...