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Man United to take over London Olympic stadium to be closer to their fans. 4
MADJEZ 12.10.11 6:56am
nickb
Fox can explain everything "It's all on the Blackberry server"

Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, has a document that completely explains the apparent misunderstanding about the position of Adam Werritty. "It clears up everything; why he was in my office, why he was...

0
apepper 12.10.11 4:48am
apepper
I'll warrant there's nae harder man than George Alagiah - Scots fan 0
Drylaw 12.10.11 4:28am
Drylaw
Wheelchair looters demand getaway ramps

Disability rights campaigners are planning action in support of the wheelchair-bound looter jailed for making off with a television from a ransacked branch of Argos. "It's a clear discrimination by...

3
Boutros 11.10.11 10:33pm
Boutros
Saudi Ambassador regrets not offering Iranian delegate a Ferrero Rocher 0
Perks 11.10.11 10:08pm
Perks
Olympic stadium to become a Starbucks. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.10.11 9:29pm
dominic_mcg
Sting Claims Credit As Special Forces Rescue Pirate Held Ship

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15261734...

1
The All New Jeni B 11.10.11 9:17pm
Widowed fruit and veg seller finally 'back on the market'

[More soon]...

1
dicky37 11.10.11 9:03pm
button
Steve Jobs' coffin not expected to have windows. 1
wallster 11.10.11 9:01pm
button
OCD sufferers demand action over ‘deeply upsetting’ leaning Big Ben

OCD sufferers are demanding immediate action to straighten Big Ben. Experts believe the clock tower could be out of kilter by as much as 0.26 degrees. “One report claims that the tower is leaning...

14
11.10.11 8:49pm
JohnA
Bomb disposal engineers to help elderly switch on central heating

The government Is deploying crack army bomb disposal units to help Britain's elderly switch on their central heating this winter.,  , Fred (86) and Ethel (85) Wilkinson said they've been trying...

2
roybland 11.10.11 8:39pm
JohnA
Rail travellers urged to cuddle during rush-hour

Over-crowding on Britain's rail network could soon become a thing of the past, according to transport experts. A scheme encouraging rail users to accept each other in a tight embrace could increase...

6
11.10.11 8:02pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Fox in right job. Look how good at defence he is, quips PM 2
Clarky 11.10.11 7:35pm
Clarky
Braehead shopping centre changes Photo Shopping policy

The owners of Braehead shopping centre have agreed that pictures of smiling customers can once again be PhotoShopped to look miserable, as they do NOT represent the majority of their visitors....

1
witless 11.10.11 6:38pm
witless
Rooney writes to UEFA to reduce ban

Dear Mr UEFA Must be a Euro thing as it was Dear Jim when I was a kid. Anyway, as bans go, three's a bit harsh ennit? And I was hoping that with my serious face and an extra weave due next week I...

0
brownpaperreporter 11.10.11 6:03pm
brownpaperreporter
“Adult” sites will be required to offer public service content.

In landmark legislation the Department of Media, Culture and Sport will require pornographic websites to carry news, educational or community programmes, or face shut down., “We’re not...

1
nickb 11.10.11 5:28pm
witless
TomTom launches Top Gear limited edition with voice of the Stig

gets muted response from Clarkson...

0
witless 11.10.11 5:22pm
witless
Migrants must pass 'Daily Mail test' to earn UK passport

Migrants will have to pass a 'Daily Mail test' to receive a UK passport, David Cameron announced yesterday. 'If migrants want to settle in our country,' the prime minister said, 'as well as...

0
roybland 11.10.11 4:16pm
roybland
Aled Jones finding walking in the air "increasingly difficult". More soon. 5
Al OPecia 11.10.11 4:04pm
borednow
A Tawdry Remit is confirmed for Dr Fox's friend

Dear Army Twit, Dame Tart Wiry, Dream Wary Tit, Married Twaty, Mated Rat Wiry, Reward May Tit More soon...

0
simonjmr 11.10.11 4:02pm
simonjmr
Stephen Fry of only average intelligence, scientists report

Using powerful mass hypnotism, triggered by a knowing smirk to camera, Stephen Fry has fooled the world for decades, making everyone think …...

0
Clarky 11.10.11 3:42pm
Clarky
Adam Werritty is Minister of Magic

In a shock announcement, it's been revealed that Adam Werritty is not actually a friend of Liam Fox but is, in fact, the Minister of Magic. The long rumoured position was in a similar quasi-legal...

0
apepper 11.10.11 3:41pm
apepper
Meryl Streep bad actor, boffins conclude

Using powerful mass hypnotism, triggered by the use of funny foreign accents, Meryl Streep has fooled the world for decades, making everyone think …...

0
Clarky 11.10.11 3:36pm
Clarky
Dry Cleaners deny drug trade rumours

The Legion of British Dry Cleaners last night released a press statement strongly denying recent allegations regarding their business practices in UK. "We are not and never have been connected to...

0
Drylaw 11.10.11 3:29pm
Drylaw
George Clooney not really good-looking, investigation reveals

Using powerful mass hypnotism, triggered by a playful crinkle of his eyes, George Clooney has fooled the world for decades, making everyone think …...

0
Clarky 11.10.11 3:15pm
Clarky
Dr Fox "we can deploy Comic Sans within 30 minutes"

Embattled Dr Liam Fox has today announced that the UK can deploy "Comic Sans" within 30 minutes, in the hope that this news will deflect attention away from the Werrity scandal that has erupted...

0
simonjmr 11.10.11 3:04pm
simonjmr
Renault targets impulse killer market with extra boot space

is nothing sacred here....

4
vertical 11.10.11 2:39pm
Midfield Diamond
SHOPPERS TO WEAR VIRTUAL REALITY GLASSES IN SHOPPING CENTRES.

FOLLOWING the recent story that a man was told to delete photographs of his daughter taken in Braehead Shopping Centre in Glasgow by Police and Security staff, the Scottish Government has today...

0
delightfullyodd 11.10.11 2:31pm
delightfullyodd
"Universe is leaning slightly", claims builders of Big Ben

The building company who constructed St Stephen's clock tower (generally known as "Big Ben") have claimed that the entire universe is tilted by .26 degrees. "This is a huge problem.", they went on,...

7
apepper 11.10.11 1:45pm
writinginbsl
Fox hounded from office

The hunt is on...

2
apepper 11.10.11 1:44pm
AvidReader