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Keith Richards starts new career in TV with game show: Totally Wiped-out

Rolling Stone Keith Richards is to hang up his guitar and embark on a new professional life in television., It is thought the response to his script for a new children’s game show, Totally...

FraserWords 06.08.11 8:21am
deleted, don't like it

more later...

virtuallywill 06.08.11 7:54am
National Front announces ‘Retro-Racism’ festival.

Following the success of Wayne Hemmingway’s ‘Vintage at Goodwood’ festival, old-school racist organisation the National Front (yes, they’re still going) have announced that they will be...

Corrigan 06.08.11 12:25am
Window's new Hindi font named after MS Dhoni 0
Ado 05.08.11 11:15pm
Cricket chiefs launch emergency inquiry into crisis in English game

The England and Wales Cricket Board has launched an emergency inquiry into the crisis in the English game., ECB President Lord Buffington said action was essential to halt the England side’s...

FraserWords 05.08.11 10:32pm
Norwegian police discover polar bear’s 1,500-page online manifesto 8
Qoxiivi 05.08.11 9:41pm
African bull elephant sold as micro-pig

A Burton-on-Trent couple have started legal proceedings against a micro-pig breeder for supplying them with an African elephant. The buyers purchased the ‘pig’ in good faith, only for the...

Dick Everyman 05.08.11 9:08pm
Dick Everyman
Asda introduces "slapping friendly areas" for shoppers with small children

Supermarket chain Asda is to create 'slapping areas' where frustrated parents can legally hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers. "Like it or not, administering reasonable...

nickb 05.08.11 7:28pm
The All New Jeni B
Man suffers heatstroke after repeatedly refusing to remove his coat at party.

A thirty-two year old man from Bolton is recovering in hospital today after repeatedly refusing to take off his outdoor coat at a family house party. Ian Stemp collapsed after numerous enquiries by...

Corrigan 05.08.11 6:01pm
Swede arrested over kitchen nuclear reactor. Turnip also being interviewed

Any more vegetable related headlines you can think of?...

martin2381 05.08.11 5:43pm
Rupert Murdoch statement.

Rupert Murdoch said he has been touched by the messages left on Amy Winehouse's answer phone...

rebel not taken 05.08.11 5:00pm
rebel not taken
Public Enquiry to review upsurge in Public Enquiries

The UK government has announced plans for a new Public Enquiry to examine the recent increase in the number of Public Enquiries. ‘We’ve seen a spate of new Public Enquiries in the past few...

malgor 05.08.11 4:16pm
Grandson of "Wrong Way" Corrigan in Idaho Drone Disaster

Wayne Alexander Corrigan, great-grandson of the famous aviator who in 1938 "accidentally" flew to Ireland rather than California, today directed his Predator drone on missile attack on Elk City ,...

Tom55 05.08.11 4:02pm
No Frills Treatment On No Frills Airline

The Irish budget airline Ryanair has attracted significant criticism after it emerged that cabin staff gave a sandwich and a drink to a passenger suffering a cardiac arrest, only to later charge him...

tezza 05.08.11 3:39pm
Buddhist monk to become Britain’s new “top cop”

The criminal justice community was stunned last night by the news that the new Metropolitan Police Commissioner is to be 49 year old Panjit Sum, currently leader of the South Lambeth Centre for Peace...

DavidW 05.08.11 3:26pm
E.On increases charges to pay massive 'phone bill.

Well they call me every bloody day...

beau-jolly 05.08.11 3:24pm
Sooty silent on phone hacking claims. More soon 2
nickb 05.08.11 3:12pm
Vets offer courtesy cat scheme for pet owners

A Dorchester veterinary practice is offering substitute pets to owners while their beloved animal is being treated. Cat owner Jenny Newby was amazed at what happened when Tuna, her 12 year old...

Des and Stan 05.08.11 2:09pm
Tony Bennett does single with Amy Winehouse. Covers 'The bitch was smacked up' 0
MADJEZ 05.08.11 1:25pm
"Shit-Hole Chic" cited as reason for property price increases in Hackney........

The news that properties in Hackney were experiencing huge rises in value was put down to the new phenomenon "Shit-Hole Chic", the latest in housing trends. Certain areas of Sheffield, and the whole...

Bismarck 05.08.11 1:10pm
Kate leading the press a merry dance over pregnancy speculation

Rumours that the Duchess of Cambridge could be pregnant are continuing, despite her recent behaviour suggesting that she is not, or perhaps she is, expecting her first child. Speculation has been...

Midfield Diamond 05.08.11 12:17pm
Midfield Diamond
Daily Mail offers free "cootie shots" to its readers. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 11:51am
Geoff Boycott's granny better than Sachin Tendulkar.

Forthright Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott has dismissed claims that Sachin Tendulkar is the best batsman since Don Bradman. Gritty Boycott, who was axed from the England team in 1967 after batting all...

rebel not taken 05.08.11 11:44am
rebel not taken
BBC Bosses criticise world events for attempting to distract from phone hacking

Senior figures at the BBC have publically criticised recent world events for attempting to deflect attention away from their ongoing self-righteous reporting of the phone hacking scandal. Since the...

Vertically Challenged Giant 05.08.11 11:37am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Martian Water plc lifts hosepipe ban. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 9:51am
Blonde Ohio club hostess confirms Tiger Woods is nearly back to his best 1
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:38am
Hero cop saved as crim's bullet is blocked by his wad from News International! 0
ronseal 05.08.11 9:33am
Car crash forces Mr Bean to abandon ‘Mr Atkinson’ pilot programme 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:25am
Duncan Biscuit
Mounting fear that Macca hacker may release Linda McCartney recordings 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:24am
Duncan Biscuit
Facebook blames Pickles as thousands of confused councillors reveal their asses 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:24am
Duncan Biscuit