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Barclays boss to forego key to the executive washroom.

For a week, until the fuss blows over...

Boutros 29.06.12 4:41pm
Banks say £200bn could solve integrity issues 0
rustytruss 29.06.12 4:41pm
Olympic Champions to be charged for medals

Lord Coe today revealed that recipients of medals at this summer’s Olympics would be asked to pay “a nominal fee” of around £500 if they wished to retain their award after the Games. The...

grumblechops 29.06.12 4:38pm
Tory Tourist Board Guide to…’Staycations’

With the parliamentary summer break almost upon us, it is time for MPs to get their secretaries to book a holiday for their families (in order for it to be classed as a ‘business expense’). The...

kimllfixit 29.06.12 4:25pm
Weather presenters to be allowed to swear

In what has been hailed as an important step towards more accurate forecasting BBC weather presenters will from next week be able to use swear words during their broadcasts. BBC South East's Tomasz...

Haywood Manley 29.06.12 4:06pm
Haywood Manley
The Sad Decline of Britain’s Hole Punch Manufacturers

Few would doubt the size of the impact that the IT revolution has had on our lives. Online shopping is now the norm, social networking sites have helped to remove dictators and many have made their...

TheNewsWalrus 29.06.12 3:26pm
Peston - "I knew all along but...........said.........nothing". 0
Drylaw 29.06.12 2:55pm
Exclusive Interview with President Of Prevaricators' Association

Coming soon...

Iggy Pop-Barker 29.06.12 2:44pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
MTV facing legal action over new show “You’ve Been Jackass’d”

A number of Hollywood celebrities are said to be considering legal action over a new MTV show which combines the candid-camera practical joke format of shows such as Punk’d and Beadle’s About...

grumblechops 29.06.12 2:02pm
North East England hose pipe ban may be lifted soon 1
bonjonelson 29.06.12 1:55pm
Sacked Bishop who had consensual sex with adult woman 'a pervert' says Pope 6
pinxit 29.06.12 1:48pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
British bankers the musical

British bankers debut Canary Wharf musical “Fiddler on the roof” Bob Diamond rendition of “If I was a rich man” had audiences aghast...

kevingower 29.06.12 12:53pm
Guide to Olympics 2: caring for your genetically engineered mascot

With our lab-created, self-aware Olympic mascots now hatching from our breeder tank in Chelsea, this Q&A will help you get the most from Britain’s newest and most nationalistic of all the...

29.06.12 11:53am
Cameron Congratulates both Newcastle upon Tyne & Gateshead Councils

Prime Minister David Cameron Congratulated both Newcastle upon Tyne & Gateshead Council's today for the rapid handling of yesterdays heavy floods which saw most of the North East grind to a halt....

Timerman 29.06.12 11:40am
In new porn version of Captain Scarlet he meets Lieutenant 50 Shades of Grey 0
Ian Searle 29.06.12 10:55am
Ian Searle
Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

The overlord of an organised criminal gang yesterday announced that due to poor corporate performance and discovery of some questionable business practices, he will be foregoing his annual bonus this...

Long Distance Clara 29.06.12 9:46am
Euro 2012 is going entirely as was predicted - says Bloke in Pub

The Man In the Pub with the Chelsea shirt on has correctly predicted every stage of Euro 2012 - now pundits are eagerly anticipating Monday, when they will find out what he predicted for Sunday's...

ronseal 29.06.12 9:41am
Hansen still unprepared to write-off the Germans 2
grumblechops 29.06.12 9:37am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Wormwood Scrubs prepares executive cell as Bob Diamond says "I Won't Resign"

More to follow...

apepper 29.06.12 8:19am
Italy now offically bankrupt as Merkle asks for money back 0
Scronnyglonkle 29.06.12 8:17am
Torrential rain & flooding, Geordies refuse to wear coats or sensible shoes. 0
MADJEZ 29.06.12 7:42am
News International to split into Light and Dark Side of the Force. 0
MADJEZ 29.06.12 7:38am
Shock as banks are caught doing what they're best at doing

Millions of bank customers are today coming to terms with the shock revelation that banks have been doing what they are best at doing. The manipulation of a key bank interest rate by Barclays and...

roybland 29.06.12 6:43am
Vertically Challenged Giant
North of Britain puts faith in mystical “fire orb” in sky to combat the flood

With the north of Britain gripped in floods the inhabitants has put faith in the “fire orb”. Apparently there is a “sphere of fire” that rest in sky, but British scientist have found little...

confuzzled 29.06.12 1:58am
Governor of Pentonville Slates Escape For "Lacking Any Real Creative Flair"

A prisoner serving a life sentence who escaped from Pentonville Prison earlier today has been slammed as being "unimaginative and passé" by the jail's Governor in a scathing attack this afternoon....

Duff 28.06.12 11:24pm
Rupert Murdoch Quits Newspaper Game to Concentrate on Apocalypse

In the wake of the phone hacking scandal Rupert Murdoch is said to have grown tired of existence and is planning an earth shattering announcement; that he plans on shattering the earth. ‘The UK...

Hooch 28.06.12 11:13pm
Pentonville escapee last seen climbing wall into Ecuadorian embassy 0
grumblechops 28.06.12 11:11pm
Question Time's first streaker goes down well

David Dimbleby admitted he was left "somewhat hot under the collar" after a female streaker invaded the set of Question Time, cutting short a hate-filled rant from some tosspot from The Mail. The...

grumblechops 28.06.12 11:02pm
Barclays Bankers Found Guilty Of Knocking Out Another One

Bob Diamond (Geezer) is tonight under extreme pressure to step down from his position as Barclays Chief Executive, following the financial giant having been found guilty of yet another...

Duff 28.06.12 9:48pm
Beckham's hope of normal haircut dashed 0
nickb 28.06.12 9:42pm