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Man fights for freedom by declaring war on past self 2
la maga 4 years

Citing decisions made (or not made) by his past self that have severely inhibited his current freedom, Matthew Borey of Orpington, Kent, today formally declared war against his past self. The...

Celebrity plastic surgeon Dr Frank Ryan family who died while texting gazumbas 0
arrghgarry 4 years

to his brother ,have asked that all patients past and present if bringing flowers to place then in jugs ,we are sure thats what he would have wanted...

Returns Desk doubt Pandora's claim of opening box 'just to check the contents' 0
dicky37 4 years

[More soon]...

Revolution likely to be televised after all: Five plans season of revolting TV 0
dicky37 4 years

[More soon]...

Reverend Spooner refuses to endorse Jordan's Country Crisp 0
wallster 4 years

"I love to wake up to the taste of Jordan's Crispy.No, honestly I can't do it."...

Deficit doesn't exactly think much of Cameron and Osborne either 0
la maga 4 years
Blair's book tops bestseller chart... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

but journalists unable to find anyone who will admit to buying it Plain wrapper version selling best...

Blair book launch ready within 45 minutes 0
roybland 4 years
Phil Mitchell accidentally discovers world's toughest cash box. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

No Money Soon...

Most marriages are, in fact, same-sex marriages. 3
Zadok the second 4 years
Muslim and Christian bacteriologists start argument over different cultures 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Geeky Kids Parents Revolt As Premiership Referees Change Kit Design Again! 0
mugwump 4 years
Gov Cuts: Public to decide as Osborne unveils prime-time 'Axe-Factor' show 0
pinxit 4 years

Among first 'acts' (of Parliament) lined up for the public vote: Tax Inspectors, MPs, Traffic Wardens, Civil Service, Benefit Assessors, Monarchy and, for the First-Show Finale - Turkeys and Xmas. ...

Reconciliation service Acas unsure who to turn to as staff go on strike 1
William Dilkes 4 years

Managers at the reconciliation service Acas faced a crisis last night after a number of staff walked out. “Everyone comes to us for mediation in these circumstances,” said a spokesman. “Who are...

Clamping firms return to protection racket after ban 3
William Dilkes 4 years

Hundreds of wheelclampers are preparing to return to their former activities of intimidation, beating and blackmail after the government announced a ban on clamping. “Over the years we’ve made...

Stallone tries to proove his acting versatlity by auditioning for Twelfth Night 0
Basil_B 4 years

' I've looked at the script and it's lost me already ' remarked the muscleman actor ' i've got through two sentences of the first act and there is no mention of any .50 calibre m2 machine guns, ak47,...

Katie Price flooded with offers of loans of peoples cars 0
arrghgarry 4 years
Gordon Brown's career as Big Issue seller is 'booming.' 0
4 years

News has just reached us that Gordon Brown, former Primeminister is now making a name for himself as a Big Issue salesman. According to his spokesperson (Berny, a 35 year old Tramp), Mr Brown's...

Kerry Katona eating her way through her Iceland severance package - agent claims 0
simonjmr 4 years

More poundage soon...

First line of Blair's book leaked: 4
ramblesnake 4 years

"It was a dark and desert stormy night."...

Plans leaked to invade Australia when Queen dies 0
rickwestwell 4 years
Ken Barlow "In my humble position as a school teacher I think NB is shit!" 0
Sharpehunter 4 years
As usual Aussies copy the English 4yrs later and introduce ABO's 2
Sharpehunter 4 years

In a bid to curb rising alcohol and magic grub induced violence and mayhem Australian Justice Ministers have come up with a novel idea, or so they think! As usual with any Aussie idea you find that...

Nobody knows what to make of North Koreas latest publicity statement.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

A representative of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (DPRK) caused a brief stir today amongst gathered observers. He stated "Never before has the President mentioned having the desire for...

Ken Barlow denies 'Bukkake' style assault on fellow actor.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

"It just kind of slipped out.." said a rather bashful Ken in response to reporters questions. Apparently Betty was extremely shocked but fortunately had a mouthful of hot pot at the time which...

Waterstones to create new book classification 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

Waterstones are going to launch a new classification system in all their stores across the UK. The plan has been devised following customer research in all the UK branches of Waterstones. The...

Afghan archaeologists unearth new Buddhist site to blow up 5
jp1885 4 years
Ken Barlow "My Life as cross dressing mixed sex dwarf shagger!" 1
Sharpehunter 4 years

Having lost out to the Daily Mail for Blairs, The Journey, Newsbiscuit are delighted to announce the scoop of the year, especially for our avid regulars we have secured exclusive rights to the most...

Greenhouse gas emissions 'necessary evil' claims wife 2
dicky37 4 years

[If it avoids hubby doing them in the lounge]...

Civil engineers called in to help straighten learning curve. More soon. 0
malgor 4 years