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Former British army officer acquitted of bribery charge 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Sir Harry Paget Flashman VC KCB KCIE, while remaining by his unapologetic self-description "a scoundrel, a liar, a cheat, a thief, a coward and oh yes, a toady" was today released from custody from...

Hip-Hop Syndicate Buy Out Chain Of Garden Centres 0
Svendo 4 years

A corporation of leading Hip-Hop rappers and producers has made a move to buy out garden centre chain, Dobbies. At a press conference spokesman Fifty-Cent commented "We had all been sitting round in...

Breaking news: fucked up man, fucked up woman get married, have perfect children 0
la maga 4 years
New study: grey squirrels “a bit racist” but still “pretty cool” 0
dogwheels 4 years

A TEAM of scientists have sensationally claimed that grey squirrels are not as bad as it may have previously been thought. The group of animal boffins, from Some University, spent two weeks hanging...

Murray reverts to being Scottish 1
Bwahahahaha 4 years
Icon films supremo Mel Gibson announces a reworking of his classic film 0
arrghgarry 4 years

about a tribe of ruthless savages ,this time it will be set in modern L.A. where a, young woman heavily made up woman with heaving ample breasts short skirt and looks, like she dosent want it but...

McDonalds using entrails in burgers? "It's just bollocks" says spokesman. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Nadal panders to Wimbledon Crowd 7
Golgo13 4 years

In a transparent bid to curry favour with the partisan British crowd, Nadal collapsed dramatically to the ground at the end of his straight-sets victory over Andy Murray in the Mens singles...

Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum unveils painting commisioned from Prince Charles 0
SallyOldcow 4 years

[center][/center] Yesterday afternoon the Chairwoman of the trustees of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum, Dame Shirley...

German manager very happy with the black shirts 0
arrghgarry 4 years

we had planned to use the Brown ones ,however they were late and we could not get them back until 1930ish...

John Major returns to garden gnome industry wth new 'sanctimonious Bercow' range 1
The Paper Ostrich 4 years

Former Prime Minister Sir John Major has returned to his traditional family business of manufacturing garden gnomes, unveiling his first new collection entitled 'Sanctimonious Bercow'. The new range...

Shock as Premier League team signs player with no tattoos 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

"We were looking for something different in a player" said the manager "Billy gives us that" Billy, 19, was plucked from lower league football "Yeah, I saw Rod Steiger picking up a £30m transfer...

Elite German squad in black uniform dominates Argentina 0
fernandomando 4 years
Maradona kicks football habit - resumes cocaine career 0
Golgo13 4 years

Following Argentina's capitulation to Germany in the World Cup quarter-final, Maradona declared that he now had the strength to quit a destructive football habit and resume his cocaine career. The...

Japan says it is having a whale of a time on holiday in the Antarctic Ocean. 0
dogwheels 4 years
Russian Spaceship fails to dock. Computer error read "It's not you, it's me"... 2
Mr.3374 4 years

More on the next orbit...

Govt To Ask Ritz Fraudster if he can Sell Off RBS 1
Dun Dunkin 4 years

The Fraudster who claimed he could sell the Ritz has been offered a chance reprieve from his prison sentence. The deal from Government lawyers is sell RBS for a profit and 'you win your freedom'. The...

BP try to reduce oil slick using Clearasil and warm water regularly. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Ken Livingstone to run for Mayor of Trumpton. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Britain Invades US Over Independance Day Insults 0
rfreed 4 years

Great Britain has invaded the United States of America in irritation over the glee showed at that nations Independence day festivities and to win back the valuable territory lost in both the...

BBC to Rename "Hole In The Wall" As "Don't Stare At The Genitals" 0
Svendo 4 years
'Ponytail envy of the office' admit colleagues. 0
edward hack 4 years

When Clive Hodgson returned to work following a month backpacking around Australia, he agonised over how colleagues would react to the dramatic makeover in his appearance., For Clive, a 54 year old...

Muller Corners unpopular in Argentina 0
allmyownstunts 4 years

There's an invisible umlaut on the 'u' in Muller, btw...

leaked notebook shows David Cameron policies. 0
mrlemoncurry 4 years

The Economy has been the main problem that the Current Con/Lib Government policies have faced, but what else are they planning ? A leaked notebook from ten downing street may hold clues as david...

leaked notebook shows David Camerons 0
mrlemoncurry 4 years

1. Immigrants to be colour coded to show how foreign they are ., 2. General election to be called only when i get offered a well paying job in the private sector ., 3 . Severed limbs instead of...

To all you kraut blockhead Fritzes out there - well done. Love, Nicky C and Dave 0
Ostsee 4 years
Cameron promises renewable energy from teenagers 0
la maga 4 years

David Cameron has unveiled a plan to harness the energy of teenagers to keep Britain on track with EU renewable energy targets. The initiative will involve placing treadmills in town centres all over...

'I hope the Argentinians will not be too upset with Maradona', says Rooney. 0
Ostsee 4 years

'After all, he is such a nice chap'...

Owners of new distillery admit it's a whisky business venture. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
U.S General asks disparate Afghan tribal warlords for unity 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Hug a Taliban...