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Declassified files show that Higgs Boson lost by Group4 in transit between labs. 0
martin2381 25.08.11 7:58pm
martin2381
Apple launch the iQuit. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 25.08.11 7:40pm
Al OPecia
QPR sign git.

QPR have signed Newcastle git Joey Barton., "I have always admired Joey as a git" said manager Neil Warnock. Barton will now be the highest earning git at QPR and fans are hoping the arrival of...

2
rebel not taken 25.08.11 7:29pm
Mrblacker
Merchants of Sirte look forward to "Boom" Time as Gaddafi pursuit turns North 0
Drylaw 25.08.11 7:07pm
Drylaw
Plans to house prisoners in Travelodge dubbed inhumane

Plans by Justice Secretary Ken Clarke to house prisoners in Travelodge rooms have been dubbed inhumane by human rights lawyers. The recent rioting in England has put unprecedented pressure on prison...

0
Aberdeen Correspondent 25.08.11 6:34pm
Aberdeen Correspondent
George Lucas months away from inventing Blu-ray replacement

How else will he continue to convince millions to keep buying the same thing over and over again More soon...

0
simonjmr 25.08.11 6:05pm
simonjmr
Concerns that Nick Clegg is depressed after he appears a little blue in Glasgow 0
simonjmr 25.08.11 6:03pm
simonjmr
Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi Asks Nicely If Scottish Jail Will Have Him Back 5
thisisall1word 25.08.11 5:57pm
thisisall1word
Millions gather to mourn the passing of Steve Jobs from Apple 0
Dumbnews 25.08.11 3:57pm
Dumbnews
My Hamster Ate Freddie Starr

In a strange twist of fate funnyman, Freddie Star, was bitten by a hamster belonging Myles Rickman (6), when judging the cuddliest rodent at a pet fair in Maidenhead earlier today. More on this...

0
Duff 25.08.11 3:57pm
Duff
Economics Editor Escapes Closet Drama: Business buffoon arrested

BBC Economics Editor Stephanie Flanders was discovered by Police Officers early today in the closet of Robert Peston’s Blackpool holiday villa. Flanders was checked over by medics after being...

2
Aberdeen Correspondent 25.08.11 3:36pm
Duff
Steve Jobs leaves Apple for smaller and worse things 0
Dumbnews 25.08.11 3:31pm
Dumbnews
Power vacuum left by Steve Jobs may shorten iPhone battery life 0
Dumbnews 25.08.11 3:28pm
Dumbnews
Better Exam Results Year-On-Year Spark Fears For McDonald's Future Recruitment

Hamburger chain, McDonald's, has come out today and expressed concerns over the year-on-year improvement in GCSE results. The fast food retailer is believed to be worried that teenagers, buoyed up...

1
Duff 25.08.11 3:25pm
dvo4fun
Gove celebrates 70% GCSE A*-C grade pass rate. "9 out of 10 - jolly good show""

More remedial Maths later...

0
dvo4fun 25.08.11 3:14pm
dvo4fun
Student Devastated After Being Awarded A Grade ‘B’

While pupils celebrated record-breaking GCSE results today Linda Chaplin was left shocked and disappointed after being awarded the first grade ‘B’ in nearly thirteen years. An inconsolable Ms....

4
Solanki and Mawhinney 25.08.11 3:06pm
dvo4fun
Jacqui Smith attributes 'offender decoraters' decison to having the painters in.

More soon ht everybody else My coat is by the door...

2
dvo4fun 25.08.11 2:58pm
Duff
Record number of dirty old men watch pupils getting their GCSE results

For the 30th year running record numbers of dirty old men decided to watch the news for a change on the morning of GCSE results. There are also signs of a Gender gap as once again very few dirty old...

2
whickerman 25.08.11 2:52pm
whickerman
Ikea denies Nazi ties on day Übermensch and Volkskrieg products launched 0
simonjmr 25.08.11 2:50pm
simonjmr
American troops hunt for Gadaffi, promise to find him by 2021. 1
MADJEZ 25.08.11 1:51pm
dvo4fun
Equine carcass beater accused of flogging a dead horse.

More later...

0
spoole2112 25.08.11 1:28pm
spoole2112
Steve Jobs steps down to work on alarm clock with built-in radio and kettle

Steve Jobs stepped down as Apple CEO to work on a secret project that insiders have dubbed the “iWake”. The groundbreaking product is rumoured to be an alarm clock with built-in radio and...

0
somethingsomethingnation 25.08.11 1:26pm
somethingsomethingnation
Lack of Massive Amounts of Drugs in System contributed to Winehouse Death claim

Lack of Massive Amounts of Drugs in System contributed to Winehouse Death claim Toxicologists...

0
thisisall1word 25.08.11 12:55pm
thisisall1word
News Corporation to provide voicemail alert SMS message service for Vodafone

Vodafone are pleased to announce that they have contracted out this service to a well loved and trusted information provider. The service will be enhanced as they will also text you if you have a...

0
grottymonty 25.08.11 12:47pm
grottymonty
CANDLELIT VIGILS HELD ACROSS THE GLOBE AS "INDUSTRY ICON" ANNOUNCES RESIGNATION

In scenes more commonly associated with a celebrity death or the break-up of a boy-band, fans, mourners, and competitors alike, gathered together today in a show of support following the shock...

1
donkey_walloppa 25.08.11 12:44pm
borednow
Daring each other to drink stuff is more fun than real work say scientists

Research scientists working in a lab at Cambrdige University have discovered that daring each other to drink concoctions from test tubes is up to 10 times more entertaining than carrying out proper...

0
Mr_Johno 25.08.11 12:36pm
Mr_Johno
Mars offers Bounty Bar for Gaddafi's capture.

More confection soon...

4
dvo4fun 25.08.11 12:28pm
Duff
Furious Fergie Flummoxed By BBC's Decision To Subtitle Him

Sir Alex Ferguson has been left red-faced and fuming after deciding to end his self-imposed 7 year ban in speaking to BBC. The fiery Scot was told that the corporation will be happy to speak to him...

0
Duff 25.08.11 11:25am
Duff
TV Weather Girl Kelly Dispenses Sound Career Advice

"Get a bump. It's a positive must if you want to go anywhere weather-wise," said top BBC TV weather reporter Kelly Breasley to a party of teenage girls touring BBC studios yesterday. "Whether it's...

0
Drylaw 25.08.11 10:55am
Drylaw
Joan Collins breaks record for 45th consecutive year celebrating 33rd birthday 0
simonjmr 25.08.11 10:43am
simonjmr