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Israeli kids "really quite scared of New TV Test Card". More soon

SuburbanDad 28.09.12 12:26am
Andrew Mitchell's house burgled, Police promise to respond before end of 2013

Apparently it will take them that long to recruit someone called "Pleb", train him/her up, and then deploy to his local station. Andrew Mitchell was unavailable for comment...

MahoganyGas 27.09.12 11:06pm
Cameron on Letterman - the footage they dared not show

David Cameron had a largely unsuccessful appearance on the David Letterman show while in the US this week. Desparate to outshine old-school rival Boris Johnson, who put in a turn earlier in the...

Miss Hegas 27.09.12 11:04pm
Miss Hegas
NSPCC awarded ‘Charity bin-bag of the year’

The charity collection bag from the NSPCC has beaten strong competition from Help the Aged, the British Heart Foundation and Mencap to be awarded ‘Charity bin-bag of the year’ in the prestigious...

antharrison 27.09.12 10:13pm
Liberal Democrats Never Existed

Ancient writings spoke of a party that would remove tuition fees, end wasteful military spending and demand proportional representation but newly discovered texts suggest that the Liberal Democrat...

Hooch 27.09.12 10:04pm
Terry retires from England duty to spend more time with white people 0
Midnight Dreary 27.09.12 9:52pm
Midnight Dreary
Ryanair Boss Defends Introduction of Coin Operated Oxygen Masks. 2
reforse 27.09.12 9:46pm
Liberal Democrats Oust Clegg In Favour Of Small Dog

In a last ditch post-conference attempt to revive their standing in the opinion polls, the Liberal Democrats today ousted Nick Clegg in favour of a cute looking dog called Trougher. In an interview...

Nonopod 27.09.12 7:33pm
Grab a bargain in the Spanish closing down sale

The Spanish government has announced that following further austerity cuts the country will close permanently on Saturday evening. Deputy Prime Minister Soraya Saenz de Santamaria announced that the...

antharrison 27.09.12 7:24pm
Simon Cowell confesses he is a bicycle

Music mogul Simon Cowell has sensationally confessed to gossip magazine Ooh! that he is a bicycle. In an exclusive interview, he revealed that he had felt this way for a long time and wanted his fans...

BaronVonNoodle 27.09.12 6:49pm
Man kept a record of all Justin Lee Collins’ comedic travesties

A Swindon man, Mr Barry Kent, appeared in court today charged with harassing West Country funny man Justin Lee Collins by keeping a detailed dossier of the comedian’s professional history and using...

Long Distance Clara 27.09.12 5:42pm
Move over Jamie: Anthony Worrell-Thompson releases "The REAL Naked Chef" on DVD

Former celebrity chef and sometime kleptomaniac Anthony Worrell-Thompson has released a DVD of great meals, starters and desserts, all made while completely naked. "I suppose that a lot of people,...

AReader 27.09.12 5:37pm
Opthalmic Surgeon Flees Country With Pupil In Blinking Outrage! 3
Martin Shuttlecock 27.09.12 5:36pm
Martin Shuttlecock
CPS hands over all its cases to the FA. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 27.09.12 5:22pm
Suspicion is cast on Abu Hamza's appeal on the grounds of mental health


pinxit 27.09.12 4:59pm
T20 Cricket: Sri Lanka beat New Zealand with "Super Over" in Super 8s. How super 0
grottymonty 27.09.12 4:17pm
Solicitors "may be related to humans" reveals study

Shocking new research into the species [i]cuntus maximus lexis[/i], otherwise known as the common or office solicitor, has thrown up some surprising results. Previously thought of as a species in...

jamsieoconnor 27.09.12 4:15pm
Mr Humphries
Rochdale Beautician Caged For Grooming Teenage Girls

A 32 year old Rochdale woman was given 12 years imprisonment amid angry scenes at Rochdale Crown Court today after being found guilty of grooming a number of teenage girls, some as young as 16 during...

Jonny Shlep 27.09.12 4:12pm
Mr Humphries
Tragedy as terrorist group fails to bomb Lib Dem conference.

There were no large explosions at the Liberal Democrats party conference today failing to engulf the building in smoke, flames or flying debris. The non-explosions, which didn't take place at all...

Deadcode 27.09.12 3:28pm
Terry only half as racist as Suarez

England captain and stalwart, John Terry, is only half as racist as the cheating, diving foreigner Luis "Louganis" Suarez...

Rootin Tootin 27.09.12 3:09pm
Rootin Tootin
Clegg wows Lib Dems with Ashdown project for paddy fields

Nick Clegg won a fifteen minute standing ovation today when he thrilled conference with a surprise solution to climate change. With rain lashing down on the Brighton Centre and vast areas of the...

27.09.12 2:06pm
The Queen Touched My Knee Under The Table. BBC Man Claims

Following hard on the heels of the BBC's Frank Gardener claiming that Her Majesty The Queen had discussed the extradition of rogue muslim cleric Abu Hamza with him during a private gathering,...

Jonny Shlep 27.09.12 1:41pm
Sun journalists urged to improve grammar. Rupert Murdoch unavailable for comma 0
MahoganyGas 27.09.12 1:08pm
Plankton discoveries vastly increase biodiversity of Lib Dem Conference

A team of scientists will detail their discovery of more than one million new species of plankton during a two-and-a-half-day inspection of the 2012 Lib Dem conference. The team from the Tara...

simonjmr 27.09.12 12:57pm
MacKenzie claims he tried to publish truth. Rupert Murdoch demands apology 0
MahoganyGas 27.09.12 12:54pm
Kelvin MacKenzie demands apology. Rupert Murdoch "unavailable for comment" 0
MahoganyGas 27.09.12 12:50pm
Tiger Woods admits he has no talent: "I've been very very lucky for 30 years" 0
MahoganyGas 27.09.12 12:39pm
Infamous 1940's battleship HMS Kelvin MacKenzie scuttled

As dawn broke over London this morning the crippled 45,000 ton battleship Kelvin MacKenzie was listing heavily at her berth and sinking fast. Her rusty 15 inch guns belching smoke after one final...

27.09.12 12:36pm
Greek journalists protest at 'medieval' conditions

At the Corinth Chronicle, the daily struggle to produce a newspaper has already begun. And as the austerity measures begin to bite, all is not well in the print department "It's no joke trying to...

FlashArry 27.09.12 12:13pm
Well-Known Skiver Quits His Job For A Few Days.....

And heads for the bright lights of New York., Moral: Don't let a man skive off like this!...

Jesse Bigg 27.09.12 11:23am
Jesse Bigg