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Food companies to start listing mane ingredients.

I disappoint myself...

Perks 16.02.13 11:45am
Defence prepares case for Pistorius trial

Against - His gun, - His bullets, - Dead girlfriend, - Body found in his house, - High security means no-one else can get in For - Absence of fibulas, - Gold medals, - Is very upset, -...

lane-avenger 16.02.13 11:43am
Dali Lama found to contain 29% alpaca 0
Smart Alex 16.02.13 11:38am
Smart Alex
Teenage boy in durex found in bedroom scandal insists "it does not belong to me"

Parents dubious but not entirely ruling out the possibility of a frame up at this stage...

lane-avenger 16.02.13 11:36am
BBC Bloody useless, again

Watched the BBC weather forecast tonight, didn't even mention the Russian meteor or the gigantic fucking asteroid just about to brush past Mount Everest. Call themselves bloody meteorologists!...

lane-avenger 16.02.13 10:47am
Eric Pickles says Russian parachuting holiday “was a blast” 0
Yikes 16.02.13 10:15am
Teenage boy in admits responsibility for own actions shock

dot dot dot...

lane-avenger 16.02.13 9:41am
meteorite will never get past our immigration controls, assures Cameron

"We'll send it right back to where it came from"...

sydalg 16.02.13 9:40am
North Koreans ask Russians if they can have their missile back

With apologies to Falouan who posted something along the same lines. I honestly had the idea a couple of hours ago, though ! I thought I'd post mine as well...

Sinnick 16.02.13 8:31am
Dot dot dot

No matter what I write, it always ends up with dot dot dot at the end...

lane-avenger 16.02.13 6:57am
Audible Minority
Chairman of NHS Trust Complains of Stress

"You don't realise the pressure that I and my fellow board members are under" complained an NHS Trust chairman. "We have to make really tough decisions. Like when a member of staff threatens to...

Titus 16.02.13 1:53am
Experts debate justification for use of 6 bullets - 2

Following events in South Africa yesterday, firearms enthusiasts and NRA experts are in the midst of a fierce debate about the use of so many bullets simply to kill one blonde and the question on...

scribbler 16.02.13 1:01am
Findus Lasagne linked to record Olympic medal haul

An unbelievable story emerged today linking the amazing haul of UK medals in the London Olympics with the horsemeat scandal., A keen eyed journalist noticed that both Mo Farrah and Jessica Ennis had...

ESJ 16.02.13 12:28am
Palace announces second of royal twins to be raffle prize.

Buckingham Palace today announced that, should The Duchess of Cambridge give birth to a set of twins later this year, the second twin would be raffled by Camelot. Tickets will go on sale after the...

dominic_mcg 15.02.13 11:46pm
Pope bashes Bishops for final time before he disrobes and relinquishes his ring 0
jenlon 15.02.13 10:45pm
UK Teachers flood to CERN on news of a 2 year break

News of a 24 month hiatus stimulates surge in School Teachers applying for work at the Large Hadron Collider Mrs Bensham (37) from Guildford, is one of a number of geography teachers who have turned...

Newsquelch 15.02.13 10:24pm
Frantic scramble through meteor wreckage as search for children to adopt goes on

Frantic scramble through meteor wreckage as search for children to adopt goes on...

jenlon 15.02.13 10:13pm
SA police backtrack - six small meteorites found in Pistorious bathroom. 0
Al OPecia 15.02.13 9:56pm
Al OPecia
Pistorious to be given a head start on the Jury. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 15.02.13 9:55pm
Al OPecia
oops - wrong room 0
Squudge 15.02.13 9:23pm
"I aimed high but her legs were too long", claims Pistorious 0
topfotogmw 15.02.13 9:18pm
Romanian orphanages no longer overcrowded, reports Comigel 25
cinquecento 15.02.13 7:37pm
Food chain found to contain actual chain

Boffins from the Food Standards Agency confirmed today that the food chain, vital to the proper functioning of the UK food industry had been largely replaced with an actual chain due to "an error"....

BAJDixon 15.02.13 7:27pm
German geneologist finds traces of Horst in DNA 0
Scronnyglonkle 15.02.13 7:11pm
Pistorius: I start on the B of BANG BANG BANG BANG 0
ginty 15.02.13 6:54pm
poof news website NewsBiscuit apologises for clit of typos

We have to cunt it out said a spokesman. We have to make sure there is not another cock up bottom out the editorial process and make sure commas appear in the right places. It’s a simple matter...

lane-avenger 15.02.13 6:49pm
Lens Cap
Pistorius trial to be held in kangaroo court 1
LittleSpender 15.02.13 6:45pm
If DA14 was going to hit Earth - would they tell us?

Just heard Obama has cancelled all appointments tomorrow for an urgent inspection of a US Tirpitz Class Nuclear submarine, apparently. Impact is expected just before the start of the One Show - at...

lane-avenger 15.02.13 6:42pm
Modesty prevails as Maradona names his second son "That Cheating Little Bastard" 0
ginty 15.02.13 5:41pm
Pistorius claims he was just watching planets and shooting stars 0
Sinnick 15.02.13 5:30pm