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New York convict to sue prison after rat tried to give him a blow job. 6
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Parking Issues At UN Building May Be Real Reason For Many International Disputes 2
Textbook 4 years

The United Nations Organisation has attempted to tackle many of the world's problems over the years but are now finally getting around to something that has plagued the UN since its founding- the...

Australia floods: Water not to blame. 1
arflaethel 4 years

The country is in the in the grip of an unusually strong periodic climate phenomenon that brings fourty days of rain; The devastating flooding in Queensland is the result of Australia being in the...

14 year old bomber says buying the petrol means he can’t afford tuition fees 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
After losing all their money to various con men OAP's Mr and Mrs Cassocks are 2
melody 4 years

tired of being prayed upon...

MI5's bring a child to work day a mixed success 0
dr nick 4 years

I thought my mum was a PA at the Home Office until I was bundled into a car on my way to school,drugged and came to in a dank room in Morocco! A man who told me his name was 'your worst nightmare'...

None-more-accurate Wikipedia celebrates 27th Birthday 7
Skylarking 4 years

Celebrated ‘dictionary of the airwaves’ Wikipedia celebrates its tenth anniversary today. The Wikipedia website – noted for its painstaking accuracy and in-depth scholarly research was...

USA to put the punjab dish Sarson Da Saag under nuclear weapons control 0
4ty2 4 years

following the discovery that the dish is made from [i]Brassica juncea[/i], discovered to be an Uranium enrichment plant by an US plant biotechnology company. With the plant growing in the mountenous...

Cameron denies that Britain has banker enrichment plants. 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Nigerian scammers behind Tunisia unrest, it emerged today. 2
Tammy Flugh 4 years

A spokesman explained that the old scams weren't as profitable as they used to be, and a newly deposed president with millions of dollars that he needs help moving to a safe country was just what the...

Master Splinter spottet in New York 0
4ty2 4 years

when accidentially bumping into a prisoner whilst trying to make his way to freedom, splinter that is. Following rumors that Leonardo has come out of hiding in LA...

OBL no longer an 'old hippie' 0
Trickster 4 years

reveals a close aide from within his inner circle. "Gone are the days when he'd just sit on an an old rug smoking non-stop Afghani and playing war games," said the aide in the never-before-known...

New Zealanders continue to tell swearing monitor to git facked 0
ronseal 4 years

Britain's burgeoning Kiwi community has pledged to continue using its alternative vowel sound system and has urged censors to 'git facked', adding 'ind oy main ut'. Both North island and South...

Jean Michel Jarre to use giant lasers to correct people’s vision 4
Ludicity 4 years

French musician Jean Michel Jarre has announced that at all future performances he will be using his spectacular giant lasers to correct the eyesight of his fans. ‘For too long I have travelled...

Australian Cricket Fans finally admit they may have overdone the rain dancing. 1
deskpilot3 4 years
No end to ENO cast strike as obese soprano steadfastly refuses to perform 0
pinxit 4 years
West End production of 'Toad of Toad Hall' halted as lead actor croaks 0
pinxit 4 years
20 Months for stealing 17 Million Nectar points worth 1.5 tumblers 1
Erlang 4 years

In a scam lasting more than five years an IT specialist working for Sainsburys was convicted for loading fake accounts with 17 Million points. His lawyer appealed to the judges saying his client...

Gabor wins role of Jane in Tarzan remake financed by Peter Cook's estate. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

It's in there somewhere...

Zsa Zsa changes surname to "Gabonk". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
New Advisory Sticker Will Warn Consumers That Certain Music Is "Shit" 0
Textbook 4 years
Man shoots drowning son at beach to stop stranger from becoming hero. 0
melody 4 years
Filthy vermin is found on new York subway by a Reseach Lab Rat from P.K .Morris 0
melody 4 years

The homeless person was sound asleep when our valuable Rat bravely took a tissue sample risking catching Necrotizing Fasciitismyosits ,he was not sure what was worse, smoking 60 woodbines a day or...

Glasgow man claims persecution after MI5 sweep mishears "Alky Da" as "Al-Qaeda" 0
govanesque 4 years
Westboro' Baptist Church Pickets Funeral of Bubbles the Goldfish. 0
sickstring 4 years

Members of the Westboro' Baptist Church turned out in force outside their own bathroom yesterday afternoon as Bubbles the family goldfish was flushed to his eternal damnation. The Rev. Fred Phelps,...

Gag-writers 'still in the dark' about number required to change a lightbulb. 2
Zadok the second 4 years
350 Saga cruise passengers ordered below decks ,deemed too ugly for photo shoot 0
melody 4 years
DLT complains of ageism, regains Radio 1 Breakfast Show 7
Skylarking 4 years

Simon Bates soon pop pickers...

Control Orders to be replaced by making terror suspects wear a little bell 2
Ludicity 4 years

David Cameron has unveiled the replacement to Control Orders – a little bell that all suspected terrorists will be forced to wear to warn the public of their whereabouts. 'I got the idea looking...

Fraudster ruefully admits that he should have stolen Airmiles and flown to Rio. 0
deskpilot3 4 years