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Balls fingered by passing motorist and handled by the fuzz in front of children 1
QorbeQ 3 years

More crudeness soon...

Pupil attacked with dumbell at Catholic school said "It made a refreshing change 2
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Student gets to page 62 of Newsbiscuit forum in attempt to avoid essay 4
IamWibble 3 years

More soon (eventually)...

Fury as civil servants found e-mailing crap in-jokes like everyone else 3
Oxbridge 3 years
Nation cheers as leaders use third debate to admit: ‘It’s all shite.’ 3
allmyownstunts 3 years

Tired of media stunts, vacuous platitudes and cringe-worthy playground sparring, Gordon Brown, Nick Clegg and David Cameron have used the third debate to tell the nation: “Look, we’re really,...

Poodle facing life behind bars will need protection from other doggy inmates 1
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

THEMES TO COME Life behind bars, doggy style. Slopping out, being banged up for 23 hours a day with only one hour exercise in nearby Battersea pArk Rule 43 for Poodles, to seperate them from...

Queen tells nation “stop messing about and letting Clegg think he’s popular" 2
DrTurmoil 3 years

Her Majesty the Queen took the unprecedented step of commenting on the development of General Election this weekend, to announce to the country that they were to immediately stop the “juvenile and...

Suspended Labour candidate blames medical condition for sexy email charge 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Thrown out of the Lib Dems and Labour for sending "sexual emails" he finally admitted that his own sexual arousal only happens once every five years, coinciding with the general election "Its true"...

BNP to welcome suspended Labour Candidate 0
simonjmr 3 years
Nation's resources to be mugged by gang called the Prime Ministerial candidates 0
simonjmr 3 years

A hardened gang of thieves called the "Prime Ministerial" candidates will on Thursday night outline thier plans to mug the nation. The "gang of three" are known to be the spokemen for a wide cabal...

Cliffs of Dover to be repainted 1
malgor 3 years

EU Commissioners have ruled that the White Cliffs of Dover must be repainted, preferably in a different colour. ‘Successive UK governments have neglected the cliffs for 136 million years,’ said...

Ed Mobile fined for holding his Balls while driving. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Childrens Secretary Ed Mobile has been given a fixed penalty after police spotted him tapping away at his balls while driving in London. He apologise unreservedly before driving off chatting with his...

Police pull up Balls for hands free driving incident 0
edward hack 3 years
Beatles irony as McCartney admits 'Lucy was our only non-drugs-influenced track' 1
QorbeQ 3 years
Aztecs back plan to cut out child heart units 1
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Conservatives to Privatise "Ministry of Sound" 0
virtuallywill 3 years

We have thought this through says Georgre Osborne...

Cert 18 'Director's Cut' showing 'original, darker intent of Finding Nemo' 0
QorbeQ 3 years

to be released. More soon...

Fears grow of Clegg assassination attempt by the Tory Right 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg was ordered to wear advanced body armour last amid fears that high-ranking Tories are seeking to pop a cap in his ass. Rumours spread after a rogue Sky TV cameraman...

Pope cancels UK visit, spends time saved covering up more kiddy-fiddling priests 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Anger as motorbike cop wins London Marathon 0
pippip 3 years

There has been anger and disbelief throughout the world of athletics after a police motorcyclist won the London Marathon., PC Andy Stanton, a traffic officer with the Metropolitan police based at...

Hounslow home revealed as ‘located on flight path’ 0
gbsmooth 3 years

First Time buyer Colin Fraser was left ‘devastated’ after his bargain purchase in Hounslow was revealed to be on the main Heathrow flight path. Mr Fraser commented ‘when I saw the house last...

No amount of double-negative misuse cannot cause unwelcome headaches for 1
QorbeQ 3 years

newspaper readers, study reveals. More soon...

Stannah help AD/DC to top of album chart 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Blue tits spotted in Alaska: Iran declares fatwah. More soon. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Cameron says chairman of Kent Council will suffer if Tories are elected 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Vatican reluctant to say FO official should be fired rather than transferred 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sarah Palin Complains Of 'Peeping Ivan's' At Her Home. 3
rfreed 3 years

Sarah Palin, potential candidate for the Presidency in 2012, has put in a complaint with the Alaskan State Troopers complaining of Russians peeping in her windows at night. As she once claimed that...

Greek solvency 'not impossible' says IMF 0
fernandomando 3 years

This sub will self destruct in 10 seconds...

BBC Newsreader sacked for calling guest a 'disingenuous vagina'. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Voting to be vetoed 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Voters attending their local polling station are to face rigorous examination to ensure their vote counts fully after a last minute change to the balloting system. Whilst the Electoral Committee...