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BBC wins in legal bid to film torture, Attenborough keen to narrate 0
irregular apple 11.01.12 7:54pm
irregular apple
Gary Glitter spotted on Greek holiday 0
irregular apple 11.01.12 7:51pm
irregular apple
Coalition urges Brits to select winning numbers for EuroMillions 0
irregular apple 11.01.12 7:50pm
irregular apple
Cameron keen to introduce tax breaks for philistines 0
irregular apple 11.01.12 7:49pm
irregular apple
Tesco security staff wary as hundreds more little chefs fall on hard times

Security staff at Tesco are bracing themselves for a massive shoplifting spree of miniature proportions following reports that hundreds more ‘little chefs’ have fallen on hard times. ‘We are...

Qoxiivi 11.01.12 7:43pm
Psychiatrists say Michael Gove just doesn't add up 0
roybland 11.01.12 7:37pm
Habitable planets in Milky Way

accidentally eaten by hungry trucker. More soon...

John Ffitch-Rucker 11.01.12 6:27pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Scotland to be released on compassionate grounds

Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced that Scotland is to be released from Britain on the grounds of ill-health. Legal advisers for the country, which was sentenced to be part of Great...

ianslat 11.01.12 6:26pm
Heston Services keen to distance itself from Blumenthal

"We serve simple, basic shite, instead of poncy, expensive pseudo-scientific shite," a spokesman said today...

Scroat 11.01.12 6:01pm
Little Chef to be known as Nano Chef

little more follows...

roybland 11.01.12 5:54pm
Scottish freedom fighters fail because of 'funny money'

Today, it has emerged, that a group calling themselves the Scottish Transitional Council have returned back to Glasgow following a failed attempt to fight in England to achieve liberation and...

Perks 11.01.12 5:47pm
Silicone implant firm now accused of supplying dodgy false testicles

In a new twist to the ongoing breast implant fiasco, the French firm that made them is facing fresh allegations that it supplied substandard prosthetic testicles to the NHS. Some 20,000 men worldwide...

MrQ 11.01.12 5:42pm
Superdry launch 'brand shy' clothing range

International urban clothing company Superdry has announced a fashion range for customers who are brand shy. 'We recognize that there are some people who prefer not to wear a jacket with our name...

roybland 11.01.12 5:04pm
Iranian nuclear scientists to be issued with plastic Noddy cars.

Iranian nuclear officials have sanctioned the purchase to 300 children’s Noddy cards to counter the threat from magnetic car bombs, suspected of belonging to Mossad or Western intelligence...

MrQ 11.01.12 5:04pm
‘Scotland, go Independent or be Scuttled’ says Whitehall

Alex Salmond has hit out at the latest proposals from Whitehall to solve the Scottish problem, namely that the country should be either be made independent or towed out to sea and sunk., ‘This is...

Immunis 11.01.12 5:02pm
Greenham Common Veterans To Train Anti-HS2 Activists......

..Birmingham to Leeds route activists to be trained via a spiritualist...

Jesse Bigg 11.01.12 4:59pm
Jesse Bigg
Bull Alex seeks freedom for 'his' herd of cows. Farmer David not concerned.

In an interview, imposing bull Alex has stated his intention to seek independence from Farmer David, allowing him to sell the milk from the herd of prize cows he believes are his. "I have sired...

MrQ 11.01.12 4:27pm
Homophobic tweet footballer Lee Steele faces the sack 1
medici2471 11.01.12 4:25pm
Metal thieves 'will need to work faster' as HS2 gains approval

Scrap merchants between London and Birmingham are expecting to be dealing with a new breed of metal thief in future as the Government confirms plans for HS2. We contacted a dealer in Kenilworth who...

MrQ 11.01.12 4:25pm
Celebrity Big Brother to feature real celebrities

Hopefully, no more soon...

JonnyJP 11.01.12 4:12pm
Worrall Thompson produces seven course banquet for £5 on Ready Steady Cook

A special edition of Ready Steady Cook has wowed viewers as Antony Worrall Thompson managed to make a full 7 course banquet for 8 people, without exceeding the £5 limit. ‘I have no idea how he...

Vertically Challenged Giant 11.01.12 3:56pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
54 years of misery ends as Little Chef falls from motorists menu

VentureThree recently rebranded Little Chef with the eponymous phrase; “Fresh from the Freezer and Disappointingly British it’ll be fun to leave!” The Disappointingly British theme ran...

Newsquelch 11.01.12 3:55pm
EDF Energy cuts increase gas price by 10.4% 0
medici2471 11.01.12 3:54pm
Men with beards in pubs oppose HS2 0
nickb 11.01.12 3:46pm
Westminster to rule on kilt length 0
nickb 11.01.12 3:45pm
The fight against racism: British population to be dyed purple

With allegations of racism and reports of racist incidents hitting the headlines at an exponential rate, the government has acted to scotch the rise in discrimination with a sweeping, nationwide...

jp1885 11.01.12 3:44pm
Cross-party motion to reintroduce hanging, drawing & quartering 'just in case' 0
cinquecento 11.01.12 3:28pm
Man drowns in whisky vat

.French police have been asked to investigate and are currently stating there are no suspicious circumstances as it appears to have been a single mort...

bsp123 11.01.12 3:05pm
Virgin Media doubles broadband to up to half its advertised speed 1
medici2471 11.01.12 2:41pm
Council tenants threatened with prison look forward to the upgrade. 0
medici2471 11.01.12 2:12pm