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It's not news but...

Debs, do you want to stop clogging up this forum for original submitter-written satire with old jokes that everyone's heard before? You're turning it into an episode of fucking Bullseye...

Qoxiivi 14.08.11 7:23pm
Rioters denounce 'Americanisation' of British way of rioting

'It's another deplorable Americanisation of our traditional British way of doing stuff - especially free stuff,' says fourteen -year-old Tottenham rioter Zac (two Sony flat screens and a bag of...

roybland 14.08.11 6:53pm
Toyah & A-ha CD vanishes It's a mystery..I've been hunting high and low says man 0
jut1972 14.08.11 6:05pm
Rastamouse tells David Starkey "yo patwa no eyrie mon no makin a bad ting good" 0
jut1972 14.08.11 6:00pm
This week on Radio 4

Gardeners’ Question Time: Our panel of experts answer the frequently asked question, what’s worse, a bunch of rioters ransacking your allotment or cabbage root fly. Women’s Hour: investigates...

greg various 14.08.11 5:38pm
greg various
U16s mobile phone ban - 2 cans and a piece of string ok.

In the wake of the recent rioting that swept across parts of England, the government intends to outline legislation to restrict the use of mobile phones by the under 16s. A government spokesman said...

JoJo 14.08.11 4:53pm
Zero Tolerance

RAF continue to pound targets in Peckham. Hague "As long as it takes"...

JoJo 14.08.11 4:16pm
Camerons cuts programme driven by Propaganda

Yes, I am a fan of the 80s German electronic band, he said. But their 3 step cuts programme wasn't deep enough or fast enough and a sad reflection on how German attitudes have softened since their...

jut1972 14.08.11 3:12pm
David Starkey to star in The Black and Chav Minstrel Show 0
greg various 14.08.11 1:53pm
greg various
Its not news but?

Joan, is that you?...

Debs 14.08.11 12:10pm
Al OPecia
Cameron seeks advice from Obama on 'Not having a vacuous tit as deputy' 0
antharrison 14.08.11 12:09pm
Bill Bryson to be Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police

A typographical error has led to the appointment of Mr Bill Bryson as Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police. Since this is a Royal appointment it cannot now be rescinded without an Act of...

Awkward Facts 14.08.11 12:01pm
Awkward Facts
People who grass on looters to be given Nike trainers as reward 0
antharrison 14.08.11 11:55am
Prisioners to face eviction.

The home office is to review the faces of all prisioners convicted in the last few years to see how many are Anglo-Saxons and therefor may have forfeited the right to rot in jail for being black....

arflaethel 14.08.11 11:30am
Agorophobic obsessive compulsive wins UK's tidiest home award for the fifth time 3
Screenie 14.08.11 10:11am
PM At A Loss What To Do Next.....

Since breaking ties with News International...

Jesse Bigg 14.08.11 9:34am
Jesse Bigg
Cameron To Star In New Horror Film - "The Rise Of The Bankers"......

.Or "What A Mess We Made, George!", plus a gimmicky, US cop, to make up the numbers...

Jesse Bigg 14.08.11 9:25am
Jesse Bigg
Northeast Holiday Company To Advertise "Geordie Heaven Holidays".....

..With strong beer, for the bruised masses down South, under the slogan, 'Come to the Bigg Market, down a Newcastle Brown and relax under the table afterwards.'...

Jesse Bigg 14.08.11 9:10am
Jesse Bigg
Lenny Henry Hollywood bid thwarted again after 'Luther' biopic audition flop.

Comedian Lenny Henry admitted to being ‘gutted’ yesterday after performing a disastrous audition for what he believed to be a biopic of soul singer Luther Vandross. Henry, whose Hollywood career...

Corrigan 13.08.11 11:39pm
See Shell's oil spills on the sea shore 5
Screenie 13.08.11 11:30pm
Asked what he thought of the rioting

and looting in the UK,Max Mosley said.when I was their age I had respect for the law and other peoples property and my elders,we all did.Id never do anything to bring shame and embaressment to my...

Jason 13.08.11 10:40pm
The All New Jeni B
China to launch new Appel Stores around the world. More Soon. 0
Boroughbloke 13.08.11 10:29pm
Mystery surrounds ownership of 'Swagland' stores popping up across London 1
allmyownstunts 13.08.11 10:22pm
The All New Jeni B
Swagland Owner Fights Back

Tonight, the husband of the mysterious owner of Swagland hit back at claims that his wife was trying to conceal his income from HM Revenue and Customs. Philip Greene, controversial owner of retailing...

Boroughbloke 13.08.11 10:10pm
Sting 'likely to be prosecuted' after lute music incites dyslexic rioters

[More soon. Although hopefully not]...

dicky37 13.08.11 8:43pm
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter TV ad to feature Last Tango in Paris Scene

It's a prop as famous as Gene Kelly's umbrella, or Groucho Marx's cigar. But Marlon Brando is to become famous again for a movie sequence - and a prop - that shocked the world, back in 1972. Two...

nickb 13.08.11 6:57pm
Cameron orders 16000 police presence for A Level results day

David Cameron has ordered 16000 police onto the streets outside secondary schools in readiness for Thursday's A Level results. 'Those teenage girls contemplating uncontrolled histrionics when they...

roybland 13.08.11 4:10pm
Downing Street Resident Evicted

A 44 year old father of three of Downing Street, Westminster, has been issued with an eviction notice by Westminster Council following their conviction today for taking part in the riots that swept...

Boroughbloke 13.08.11 3:45pm
Looter's anger fueled by high cost of goods from Salvation Army

Do they have Goodwill and Salvation Army, thrift stores in UK?...

Dumbnews 13.08.11 2:50pm
Police nab looters after they return to stores to purchase extended warranty's 0
Dumbnews 13.08.11 2:20pm