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Christmas cancelled as Santa Fails CRB Check 1
pinxit 4 years

'Evidence has recently come into our possession that he has been fumbling around a million UK kids' bedrooms for years.' says CRB spokesperson...

Palin admits sex with President Obama is not a bad idea ,the rest of the 0
arrghgarry 4 years

Monty python crew are not so sure ...

Kim il sung accuses South Korea of just being an American puppet 4
arrghgarry 4 years

Great moments in cinema: a fool, his money and a tearful goodbye... 0
Doylem 4 years
New Zealand Mine Rescue Squad Wins NoBalls Prize for Useless Jobswoths 2
arflaethel 4 years

Amongst the leading exponents of Heriocally Not Doing Anything, as advocated by the English Police who are content to watch a child drown as they “Haven't been trained in wading into a...

Requiem for the G-spot... 4
Doylem 4 years

For years men were encouraged to go in search of the G-spot, even though we didn’t really know what we were looking for, or where we might find it, or whether we’d recognise it even if they did...

Bishop Apologises for Royal Wedding "I'll give it 7 years" Comment 3
De-scribe 4 years

"Obviously I should have said four or five years at the most", he clarified today...

Shrinking Violet denies she is Atrophied wife. 4
arrghgarry 4 years
Criminal Element Discovered in Periodic Table 26
Des and Stan 4 years

Scientists and anthropologists have discovered that the periodic table, once highly regarded for its perfection and beauty, contains a criminal element just like any other community. The boffins’...

Somali pirates overwhelmed by 25,000 applicants as Royal Wedding date set 0
Golgo13 4 years

**Reloaded: Special Extended Edition to commemorate Willie & Kate's announcement** In previous years, Somali pirate ship captain, Ibrahim Abdikarim would have had to appoint head-hunters to...

Apple to launch revolutionary communication device 2
Moggsy 4 years

Hailed as the pinnacle in technological advancement, Apple have announced their plans to launch their most innovative product yet, the aPhone., Unveiling an impressive prototype at today's press...

Cameron creates Cabinet post for Daily Mail 0
thesheriff 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today created a new Cabinet position for the Daily Mail. "We considered a peerage," Mr Cameron said, "But that's for old has-beens. We needed to recognise the key role...

Im A 'Has-Been' - Get Me In There !!! 1
Ddigon o broblem 4 years

Trading Standards step in and order TV show to correct its title., More to follow...

Villagers keep vigil by Ingrid Pitt's grave. Just in case. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 4 years
Although his film days were over the Tin Man from the 8
arrghgarry 4 years

Wizard of Oz exercised moderately and thought he ate correctly he was still gaining weight , diagnosis , Metal bollocks syndrome...

Growing fears the Royal Wedding will ruin the Korean Penisular Nuclear war 3
arrghgarry 4 years

more war ?...

Close encounter of the fourth kind... 0
Doylem 4 years

Following a protracted lunchtime session at the Grievous Bodily Arms, Gary Allen was abducted by aliens and, due to a mysterious depletion in the available gene-pool on distant planet Zob, forced to...

Man on death row plays ‘hard to get’... 1
Doylem 4 years
Royal Wedding day gaff avoided as set date narrowly misses Hitlers birthday 5
Basil_B 4 years

Organisers of next years Royal Wedding breathed a huge sigh of relief today after the realisation that the date set for next year had narrowly missed ex tyrant and german dictator Adolf Hitlers...

North Korea accuses South Korea of stealing its ammunition with a giant magnet. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
The secret of a successful relationship... 0
Doylem 4 years

Arthur and Martha only ever had one serious argument. Unfortunately it lasted for twenty years, and centred on what the fuck he was going to do with his fucking life, apart from sitting around the...

Kim Jong-il still angry at Times online subscription charge 0
Milo Shame 4 years

Close sources inside the military regime have revealed tonight that Kim Jong-il continues to fume that the Times is charging for its online version and that the missile attack on the contested island...

From the school of hard knocks to the university of life... 0
Doylem 4 years

No wonder kids want to leave school as soon as they can. They’ve all seen those James Bond films on TV, where the villain tells Bond “We've got to kill you, because you know too much”. Then,...

North Korea: Political Collectiveness "Gone Mad". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
X Factor winner to "ruin perfectly good song" in bid to reach Christmas number 1 3
ruthless1 4 years
Stefan Kuntz comes out and declares that 12
arrghgarry 4 years

he was the Grandson of WW2 Nazi criminal Samuel Kunz and the family had to change their name because of the embarrassment the name brought...

Koreans admit place names are really onomatopoeic rubber band sounds. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Net migration to be reduced to "tens of thousands"... by expelling Birmingham 0
jm 4 years
Vatican Pope's comments on condoms a success as HIV epidemic 'halted', says UN 0
simonjmr 4 years
Voyeur Drowns Attempting to Reach Dogger Bank 2
De-scribe 4 years