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Queen's Speech to include racing tips 0
MC One R 4 years

Speech previews have indicated that the Queen will make reference to the importance of sport in her Christmas Broadcast. It has now been clarified that this will specifically be Her Majesty's...

LibDem minister under impression that Tories are all members of Ska band 0
MC One R 4 years

More instances of the LibDems going completely cuckoo has emerged. Foreign Office minister Tony Inchpractice has been recorded mistaking the Tories' European allies as members of 80s Ska ensemble...

Millions of men smarten up as Scarlett Johannson "back on the market". 1
MC One R 4 years
Marauding zombies struggle to achieve 'satisfactory work/death balance' 0
dicky37 4 years

[More soonthough not from mejust popped in really]...

Vince cable to star 0
Bismarck 4 years

in Cockney rhyming slang remake of Fred Astaire film 'Paper Hat'...

George osborne buys all his Christmas presents in Poundland 0
Bismarck 4 years

'I am in touch with the common man' he insists...

International rescue on standby for next weather 'event' 0
Bismarck 4 years
Panic at Met Office 0
Bismarck 4 years

as random Weather forecast generator breaks down...

Confusion in Devon 0
Bismarck 4 years

as Anne Widdicombe shaped bush turns out to be Anne Widdicombe...

Spanish building company BAA to hire london drug dealers 1
4ty2 4 years

to help shifting the snow at heathrow. They are highly skilled and no need to emply non EU immigrants and very familiar with the place...

Lib Dems to recruit mime artists 1
whickerman 4 years

Nick Clegg has revealed that he is so fed up with his MPs being caught out talking to undercover reporters that from now on they can only communicate by miming. After they earned his trust...

Milliband Policy Unit Has a 1000 Monkeys on Typewriters. 1
Dun Dunkin 4 years

One is bound to come up with a policy they can use sooner or later...

Government plans to cancel first part of 2011 in cost-cutting exercise 0
dogwheels 4 years

The government has outlined an ambitious plan to cancel the first four months of 2011 as part of its economic strategy. Instead of starting on 1 January, Britain will go straight from 31 December...

Clive James to be used as speech stuntman for Vince Cable 1
4ty2 4 years

to make cable leaks even more entertaining. Sure the reporters would not spot the difference if a bit of makeup is applied and auto-tune could help to blend over his accent. The question is if the...

Jamie Oliver 30 minute meal book selling like hot cakes.... 0
Milo Shame 4 years

that you can make in 30 minutes...

Porn industry admits we've done it all 19
simonjmr 4 years

The worldwide multimillion dollar Porn industry has today admitted that they have run out of sexual positions, fetishes and fantasies to film. An increasingly comprehensive backcatalogue of "grot",...

Palin brings in Border Collie to write Tea Party manifesto 0
Wyclef Sadova 4 years

1001 words soon...

Mexican Physicists complete their Pina Collider 18
bonjonelson 4 years

[more soon] and sorry...

Shoelace tying holding key to quantum time travel conundrum. 4
The Return of DroleNoel 4 years
Britain to offer Spanish cheap credits 0
4ty2 4 years

so they can afford to buy snow ploughs for Heathrow. With the British government having no interest in British business at least the British bankers may have interest in getting more money. They...

Ferrero Rocher ambassador caught up in wiki leaks scandal 0
whickerman 4 years

A bribe list has been found. Apparently the US state department was willing to give up their Nuclear codes for 5 Ferrero Rocher a piece. The ambassador was hit by a further scandal when lab tests...

Gail Sheridan starts her Christmas shopping after 'hectic' December 0
dogwheels 4 years
Vince Cable 'furious' at being made to look like a twat. 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Campaign begins for Scottish prisoners' human right to sun beds. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Pope accepts ‘Thought for the Day’ invitation but declines ‘Hole in the Wall’ 3
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Scientists claim 'nothing new' about 'cheap knock-off' 2011 0
dogwheels 4 years

As the world gets ready to welcome another new year, a group of scientists have claimed that, contrary to popular belief, there will be nothing new about the year 2011 and that it is in fact a...

Al Qaeda Brit double agents to ruin Xmas with overthetop fussing and worrying 0
ronseal 4 years

A crack team of Xmas ruiners has been recruited by Al Qaeda, to work on the inside and destroy the spirit of the festive season. A series of cells has been created out of the volunteer turncoats,...

Drive carefully, folks, it’s icy out there... 2
Doylem 4 years

With millions of people setting out today, to spend Christmas with uncherished relatives, Pete Brown of the AA offers a few, mildly patronising, words of advice. “Drive on the road. Don’t drive...

Waitrose to introduce Chill-Out Checkouts for the more sedate shopper 0
Iamthestig 4 years

Posho Supermarket, Waitrose, have decided to buck the trend for speedier customer service and checkout and introduce new Chill-Out Checkouts at their stores. The new checkouts are intended for use...

William has already sorted excuse to avoid Xmas Day with the in-laws 0
MC One R 4 years

Before even getting married, Prince William is already trying to avoid laborious awkward Christmas Day family gatherings with the Middletons using the excuse "Sorry, it's my shift for Search &...