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Cowell And Kyle Are Big Winners As "Bone Idle" To Top Autumn Schedules

ITV says it's feeling quietly confident today following what it's describing as "very positive reaction" to its new primetime offering [i]Bone Idle[/i] The new collaboration between two of the...

Duff 17.06.12 1:24pm
Andy Murray delighted with 2nd Place in Queen's club opening round 1
seymour totti 17.06.12 12:27pm
Pirate Captain Jeremy Hunt says...

"The ministerial code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules" (See Pirates of the Caribbean)...

Quaz 17.06.12 12:23pm
Premier League matches on BT to trial new features

The 38 Premier League matches to be shown on BT from next season are set to include a series of new features both on and off the pitch. On the pitch innovation include team managers having to phone...

Mandy Lifeboat 17.06.12 12:21pm
Midfield Diamond
Takeaway ordered by ISS crew finally arrives 0
Haywood Manley 17.06.12 11:28am
Haywood Manley
Swedish spy steals Englands tactics. Hodgson 'We had tactics ?' 0
MADJEZ 17.06.12 10:33am
China condemned for launching woman into space

China is again at the centre of a human rights controversy after inexplicably launching a woman into outer space. It is believed that Liu Yang was found guilty of violating the 'one child' policy...

kga6 17.06.12 9:22am
Lemmy Is Ace Of Bass - It's Official

Hell-raising bassist and Motorhead front man, Lemmy, is today cock-a-hoop following an unplanned world record breaking attempt for the longest bass solo ever having been officially recognised. The...

Duff 17.06.12 7:51am
Attractive woman wanting sex perplexed why no men respond to her emails 0
Dumbnews 17.06.12 6:11am
Sun journalist stumped after paedophile war-veteran is convicted

A Journalist for the Sun, Michael Brown, was taken to hospital today suffering from nervous exhaustion after being tasked to write a report for the paper about Stephen Hughes, a former member of the...

Corrigan 17.06.12 5:34am
"Rebekah Brooks is a country member," Cameron tells Leveson 2
Scroat 16.06.12 11:28pm
Yorkshireman Fined For Being Friendly On The Tube

Eric Whippets, from Tadcaster somewhere in the north of England was given a one thousand pound fine and bound over to keep the peace for two years earlier today, after being convicted at Marylebone...

Duff 16.06.12 10:00pm
Alastair Cambell on Iraq : "It wasn't us, the Big Boys made Tony do it"

Cambell hints that constant telephone stalking and playground bullies made Blair invade Iraq. Next week : who really pushed Dr David Kelly down the stairs after Chemistry class?...

Quaz 16.06.12 9:27pm
Big Brother contestant confused by 1/60 minute - demands second opinion

More to follow...

apepper 16.06.12 9:15pm
Sir Roy won't rule out taking Spurs job after Euros: Redknapp to be his teaboy 0
kga6 16.06.12 8:34pm
Tightrope walker ‘walks a tightrope’ in breezy Niagara tightrope walk

Legendary tightrope walker, Nik Wallender, completed a long-held tightrope walking ambition by doing a tightrope walk over the Niagara Falls. Wallender, who comes from a family of tightrope walkers,...

Yikes 16.06.12 7:02pm
The All New Jeni B
New Universal Language already bigger than Esperanto, claims inventor.

The inventor of a new universal language claims his language is already more popular than Esperanto and could become the de-facto world language within a generation or two. Hubert Perkins, of the...

bonjonelson 16.06.12 3:55pm
Lineker To Seek Help For Crisps Addiction

BBC golden boy and former England footballing legend, Gary Lineker, is today involved in the biggest fight of his entire career. Bigger even than when he used to be so awful at presenting that it...

Duff 16.06.12 2:59pm
Woman turns up late for own awards ceremony. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 16.06.12 1:44pm
Al OPecia
All of Spain to stay in German spare rooms until they get sorted.

As a novel alternative to the imminent 100 Billion Euro loan to Spain, German Chancellor Angela Merkal has announced that every Spanish citizen has been offered a spare room in a German household....

Corrigan 16.06.12 11:57am
Chinese woman pioneers programme to reduce population

Sinnick 16.06.12 11:41am
Police describe man who steals dogs and eats them as a Korea criminal 2
Perks 16.06.12 9:59am
Lemon Kurd bitter over terrorist charges 1
weematt 16.06.12 9:46am
Insurers up to their knees in flood claims. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.06.12 9:16am
Pundits commit Hara Kiri as new England Manager gets everything right

Never thought we'd see the day; all hope lost, end of Talking Balls as we know it...

RickH 16.06.12 8:53am
UN Peacekeepers deployed to Elton John peace concert, as violence a real threat

The UN today confirmed that 3,000 UN Peacekeeprs will be deployed to ensure violence doe not break out a a planned Elton John concert. In recent years the former singer has resorted to shouting out...

simonjmr 16.06.12 8:50am
Flood at homoeopathy warehouse causes £0 of damage

Homoeopathic workers have expressed relief after a major storage facility for the medicines was flooded; "It's actually saved us a bit of work.", explained a spokesman, "Although it will take us a...

apepper 16.06.12 8:44am
Viagra in Niagara scandal as tightrope walker uses extra pole 0
Yikes 16.06.12 8:42am
Honour amongst thieves delights underworld

An armed robber who has held up over 100 Post Offices and betting shops throughout the UK has been unrecognised in the Queen’s Birthday Honours list., The robber, who was made an OBE after...

Nerys Hughes 16.06.12 7:53am
Nerys Hughes
Cameron: "Young people born into poverty will be allowed to remain in poverty" 0
weematt 16.06.12 6:28am