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Time wasting slogan chanting meeting makers could lead UK recovery says time w..

Independent research carried out by DMM (Dovetailed Marketing Messages) suggests that Britain could be sleepwalking into a triple dip recession if it cuts back on investment on meetings. The...

ronseal 16.02.12 11:04am
Cameron jets to Athens to seek vital Greek vote in Eurovision Song Contest

David Cameron could pull of a coup for Britain right from under the German's noses. Capitalising on anti Euro dissent, the PM is jetting to Athens for high level talks - which could secure the key...

ronseal 16.02.12 10:33am
Wayne Rooney's racehorse to be called "Switcharooney" ..

After weeks of speculation, a press conference at the Cheshire stables where Switcharooney will be trained was told, "Yeah, we're like well chuffed innit. Me an' Colleen were like sat up until the...

Gourd Almighty 16.02.12 10:06am
Gourd Almighty
Royal Masturbation Fantasies Up 80% on 2010

A recent poll has shown that of the 2000 men surveyed year on year, there is an uptick of 80% regarding fantasies involving a member of the Royal Family. The poll shows a level of interest not seen...

SimonJJames 16.02.12 9:19am
Argentina tensions escalate as UK deploys Duchess of Cornwall to Falklands 0
cinquecento 16.02.12 8:43am
RAF in moustache shaving protest as derring-do budget slashed 0
cinquecento 16.02.12 8:35am
XXX Olympiad to feature state-of-the-art water sports facilities 0
Golgo13 16.02.12 8:21am
Sacked for being legless at work (re-post)

An Iranian terrorist was dismissed by bosses today for blowing his own legs off in a botched bomb job in Thailand. Cell managers dismissed Ballykissangel born Abdul ORielly as soon as they heard of...

Marko 16.02.12 8:10am
Questions into length of Leverson Inquiry as 'Street Sweeper' gives evidence

As the Leverson inquiry enters it’s 23rd year, it has heard evidence from a street sweeper from Bideford. Ian Brownlow, has been telling the inquiry about his torment caused by an article in the ...

Perks 16.02.12 7:33am
New dating site tackles disappointment by guaranteeing failure 0
Dumbnews 16.02.12 3:17am
Fair Trade Cocaine and Heroin

just an idea, if anyone wants to run with it?...

Ironduke 16.02.12 3:05am
Primary head admits licking lollipop lady

The General Teaching Council’s disciplinary body yesterday heard a head teacher, James Marks, 43, admitting that he licked lollipop lady June Craig, 41 a part time hairdresser. The evidence...

nickb 16.02.12 12:55am
Ryan Air calendar cost more than advertised and didn't reach destination 2
ronseal 15.02.12 10:04pm
Delboy Throws His Three Rolex's Down The Drain....

."Too much of me, init?"...

Jesse Bigg 15.02.12 10:03pm
Majority of C of E Clergy Object to Sex Before Marriage

According to an opinion poll conducted by the 'Pulpit' magazine, a majority of Church of England clergy are totally against premarital sex, due to the hassle of re-arranging the altar plate just...

Jesse Bigg 15.02.12 9:32pm
Suarez to apology to player he bit. Returns toe. 0
Hooch 15.02.12 9:17pm
Man found dead at vicarage ‘latest victim of extreme Cluedo craze’

A man found dead at a vicarage near Bristol may be the latest victim of the extreme Cluedo craze sweeping Britain. The Revered John Green, a former barrister, was found dead late last night next to a...

Gary Stanton 15.02.12 7:17pm
Sex Dreams Involving Royal Family Members Up 80% on 2010 (REWRITE)

A renewed public interest in the Royal Family was confirmed yesterday when a recent poll shows that the sex dreams of 2000 interviewed people were 80% more likely to involve Royalty or Royal themes...

SimonJJames 15.02.12 6:48pm
Iranian assassin castigated by Imam for getting legless in Bangkok. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 15.02.12 5:53pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Cure for depression hailed as patient pulls himself together and gets on with it 4
cinquecento 15.02.12 5:47pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Appalled feminist theorist demands to have female vote removed

after watching ‘loose women.’ More soon...

John Ffitch-Rucker 15.02.12 5:42pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Disillusioned Dog Suddenly Realises The Futility Of Fetch

Clapham Common yesterday: Lucky, a spaniel / terrier cross, during his 7th retrieval of a well used and prized tennis suddenly stopped, sighed, looked at his owner disappointedly, walked to sit under...

SimonJJames 15.02.12 5:40pm
But, on the bright side, Rangers score a hat trick of 'tickers'

No more soon...

dvo4fun 15.02.12 4:29pm
Tonto regrets loan to Rangers 5
JETFAB 15.02.12 3:54pm
Hoops McCann
Cameron declares war on cheap champagne 0
roybland 15.02.12 3:37pm
Obesity surgery to be rationed. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 15.02.12 3:28pm
Al OPecia
Banner-waving Greek protester accidentally discovers new equation.

Amidst the scenes of carnage and mayhem in Athens, Greek protester Khristos Pagonis appears to have unwittingly solved one of the fundamental problems of modern physics. "I just wanted to show my...

Le Creuset Fiend 15.02.12 2:15pm
Moody’s downgrades Standard & Poor’s.

Standard & Poor’s ratings rating has been downgraded by Moody’s in what commentators are calling the ‘inter-rating agencies rating stars war’. S&P’s ratings were previously 5-star...

malgor 15.02.12 1:08pm
its not right, but its ok..........

., ., ., ., ., says whitney houstons pathologist, as he pulls down his trousers. (stolen from someone else)...

arthurminnit 15.02.12 1:02pm
Daniel Radcliffe’s tongue trickery ‘still not enough to make him sexy’ say women 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.02.12 10:09am
Duncan Biscuit