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"Universe is leaning slightly", claims builders of Big Ben

The building company who constructed St Stephen's clock tower (generally known as "Big Ben") have claimed that the entire universe is tilted by .26 degrees. "This is a huge problem.", they went on,...

7
apepper 11.10.11 1:45pm
writinginbsl
Fox hounded from office

The hunt is on...

2
apepper 11.10.11 1:44pm
AvidReader
Tesco launch “Fetch” produced from pure pedigree dogs

Tesco announce their launch of a new range of foods produced from excess to requirement pet dogs. Recipes developed by TV chef Hugh Burnley-Whittinghall hit the shelves tomorrow including Boxer dog...

1
witless 11.10.11 1:38pm
AvidReader
New 'We Told You So' android app enrages downed blackberry users 0
vertical 11.10.11 1:34pm
vertical
Hackers say iJobs is riddled with bugs 1
witless 11.10.11 1:18pm
AvidReader
Defence Minister's wife found second man in marital bed

The wife of beleaguered Defence Secretary Liam Fox said she was surprised one night to find her husband's friend Adam Werritty in bed with them. 'But when Adam produced a business card saying he was...

1
roybland 11.10.11 1:03pm
vertical
Met police appeal for help with new acronym in fight against gun crime

The Metropolitan Police have issued a public appeal for help with creating a ‘really cool sounding acronym’ in an attempt to reduce gun crime in London. Deputy Commissioner Tim Godwin is...

3
Vertically Challenged Giant 11.10.11 12:41pm
writinginbsl
Norwich man fills loft

Paul Wykes from Norwich is claiming to have achieved an historic first by having completely filled the loft in his semi-detached house with things that his wife wishes he’d throw away. Paul, 38,...

5
Vertically Challenged Giant 11.10.11 12:39pm
writinginbsl
All references to BIG BEN now must be written in Italics

[i]BIG BEN [/i]more later...

1
Rowly 11.10.11 11:32am
witless
West Ham lose ebay auction for Olympic stadium to mystery bidder 'Cambs€101' 0
button 11.10.11 11:27am
button
Saw 8 flops after Jigsaw bows to health and safety regulations

Fans of excessively gory horror films with ludicrous plots have been left disappointed by the latest instalment of the popular Saw franchise. Saw 8, developed in secret amongst much speculation,...

0
Vertically Challenged Giant 11.10.11 11:16am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Tate Modern to host Hollywood Blockbusters and Bowling from 2012

As modern art becomes increasingly indistinguishable from looking at every day objects being used in their natural environment, the Tate Modern has admitted that soon it will no longer be financially...

1
kga6 11.10.11 11:03am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Mcartney admits Nancy had been acting as a "go between" during previous marriage

less chance of rolling off, /'\ rather than /'...

1
Rowly 11.10.11 10:53am
Scroat
OK to make jokes about disabilities of people you don't like, research finds 0
DrTurmoil 11.10.11 10:42am
DrTurmoil
Turn to the Far Right "Accidental" says Paulo di Canio 0
medici2471 11.10.11 10:08am
medici2471
"Inflation out of control - shoe bill doubled" says McCartney 2
andhrimnir 11.10.11 9:20am
medici2471
Royal Mail withdraws UK Landmarks stamp series in terror threat fears 0
pere floza 11.10.11 8:53am
pere floza
Tescos deny encouraging murderers to shop at Asda 1
Runestone Cowboy 11.10.11 8:42am
medici2471
Fantatist Dr Fox and Werrity 0
simonjmr 11.10.11 8:40am
simonjmr
Migrants may soon teach history in UK schools 0
roybland 11.10.11 8:40am
roybland
Liam Fox can't be sacked because, and I'm not making this up, he has a cat!

Apparently...

0
bonjonelson 11.10.11 8:02am
bonjonelson
BBC claims Big Ben leaning to right, parliamentary debate demanded

In a biased news story yesterday, the BBC caused a furore by claiming that Big Ben is leaning to the right. Labour spokesman Timothy Tide disputes the report and claims that “from my view point,...

0
witless 11.10.11 7:39am
witless
Essex girl gives birth after double doner kebab

Inspired by Amber Miller who ran the Chicago Marathon and then gave birth, Chelsea Trivett, 15, was already 2 weeks overdue when she opted to go for the famed Mighty Micky's Munch Bar Double Doner...

0
brownpaperreporter 11.10.11 7:11am
brownpaperreporter
Pricks from Slough branch leave bitter taste in Blackberry crumble

‘RIM can kiss my arse’ say smartphone users, Blackberry inundated with letters of complaint...

0
Gerontius 11.10.11 6:55am
Gerontius
Covent Garden Hen Party warned not to goose Peter Hichens

Revellers who choose to let their hair down in Covent Garden have been warned that Peter Hitchens, who has been spotted in the area, may not see the funny side of being goosed. One man, who saw the...

3
ronseal 10.10.11 10:42pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Abominable snowman discovery sparks fears he'll seek asylum and jump house queue

A story in the Daily Mail that the Abominable Snowman is about to be unveiled has provoked a furious reader response, with letter writers complaining he will seek asylum, jump to the head of the...

0
ronseal 10.10.11 10:33pm
ronseal
Cameron urges crackdown on visitors to MoD

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced a crackdown on unauthorized visitors to the Ministry of Defence.,  , He said he wants 'everyone in the country' to 'help reclaim our Minstry of Defence...

0
roybland 10.10.11 10:10pm
roybland
Psychic Sally claims she heard voices transmitted to device in her right ear

The woman who says she is 'Britain's best-loved psychic' has made the incredible claim that she can hear messages transmitted to an earpiece in her right ear.,  , Sally Morgan has threatened legal...

1
roybland 10.10.11 9:26pm
BBC animator drops major clanger

A Small Blue Planet meeting erupted as news emerged that Oliver Postgate has dropped certain clangers from Enter the Soup Dragon, the forthcoming movie based on his tv series. 'Some clangers don't...

0
vertical 10.10.11 7:31pm
vertical
Cuppa and a nice sit down latest wonder cure, doctor reveals

A Wymondham GP claims to have stumbled on a simple wonder cure against most common ailments. Dr Jolyon Fletcher takes up the story: ‘I’d been shopping with my wife, Marigold, and got home...

10
Clarky 10.10.11 6:49pm
Clarky