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Serena Williams to play today's match on No2 court at Barnet Leisure Centre

Results later...

1
grottymonty 27.06.11 1:03pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Politicians to be driven down side streets to avoid upsetting the public. 0
be reasonable 27.06.11 6:09am
be reasonable
New survey finds 90% of drivers think all other drivers are idiots 1
Dumbnews 27.06.11 1:05pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Chinese withdraw call for UK imports after Keith Chegwin announces tour. 0
MightyBlair 27.06.11 12:19am
MightyBlair
Honourable Member for Portaloo East held onto his seat until the end 0
ronseal 26.06.11 11:00pm
ronseal
Senior Tory "met his Portaloo" 3
bonjonelson 27.06.11 8:26am
Sinnick
Easily Offended Cinema-goers Union to stage walk-out 0
jp1885 26.06.11 7:36pm
jp1885
Ministers rethink 'Crime Map' as spate of cock-and-balls appears across country

The much-vaunted 'crime map', a database that shows the locations of crimes across the UK, has become the victim of organised pranksters, it was revealed today. Following a decision to add the names...

2
26.06.11 7:31pm
Cameron to get tough on Portaloos and the causes of Portaloos. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 26.06.11 6:18pm
Al OPecia
Cameron Admits That Lib-Dem MP's Are Cardboard Cut-Outs.....

..and that Nick Clegg and his MP's have been locked up in a remote jail since last year's election, along with their families. "You didn't really expect me to share power with Cleggy, did you?, said...

4
Jesse Bigg 27.06.11 7:36pm
be reasonable
PM pal passes in portaloo, Police preclude pharmaceuticals.

[s]Poor[/s] More Soon...

0
MADJEZ 26.06.11 5:47pm
MADJEZ
Scottish nationalists kidnap Andy Murray

The Wimbledon tennis championships were plunged into chaos today, after militant Scottish nationalists kidnapped Britain’s Andy Murray. Scottish Heroes for an Independent Tomorrow have claimed...

1
Christopher Frost 27.06.11 6:57am
Ostsee
JK Rowling – CAUGHT IN THE ACT by FACT

Two Eastend Kids – Tanya Grotter and Terry Blotter- breaking into the home of JK Rowling found her in a trance - puffing on a spliff whilst dancing round a pot of gold. She had fled from her...

12
GuevaraUK 27.06.11 8:38am
Sinnick
NEWS-FLASH :GLASTONBURY POLICE APOLOGISE FOR MISFEED

Glastonbury Police have issued an urgent,unreserved,apology concerning Dead Man in VIP toilets. They explain that in FACT it was Louis Walsh in state of stricture resulting from an attempt to get a...

6
GuevaraUK 26.06.11 10:17pm
Ironduke
Culture Minister says UK to be 'New Tibet' 0
Dun Dunkin 26.06.11 2:29pm
Dun Dunkin
Controversy as foreigners allowed to compete in 2012 Olympic events

More vaguely ticket related news soon...

2
borednow 27.06.11 7:03pm
borednow
Gove says paedophiles could help out in schools during teachers’ strike 0
roybland 26.06.11 2:00pm
roybland
High temperatures and bright sunshine lead to large fall in newsbiscuit subs 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 26.06.11 4:53pm
Sinnick
Tech support companies slam school-leavers lack of sarcasm skills.

A consortium of IT support call centres, computer and high street telephone retailers today called on the government to radically improve the smirking, sneering, eye-rolling and ironic intonation...

0
the coarse whisperer 26.06.11 10:57am
the coarse whisperer
Dying in a rancid portaloo officially preferable to being lectured to by Bono 1
charlies_hat 26.06.11 4:22pm
borednow
Taliban issue new slogan T-shirts "Lose you head now, ask me how". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 26.06.11 9:03am
Al OPecia
al-Qaeda to rebrand as "Total Terrorism Management Solutions". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 26.06.11 9:02am
Al OPecia
Labour 'concerned' over Miliband's confusion about which party he leads

Leading Labour Party politicians are increasingly worried over Ed Miliband's inability to remember which party he leads.  ,  , The concern came after Miliband on Saturday mounted another attack...

0
roybland 26.06.11 7:42am
roybland
Al Qaeda in 'midget' recruitment drive, as worlds tiniest aircraft is unveiled.

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13917521]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-13917521[/url]...

0
charlieworth 26.06.11 7:28am
charlieworth
Study finds impact of psychiatrist's advice depends only on size of their bill 0
Dumbnews 26.06.11 5:37am
Dumbnews
"Send my accountant your old receipts" Bono urges fans, in Tax Relief appeal 1
ronseal 26.06.11 9:38am
Des Custard
Broad-shouldered Sri Lankans demolish England 0
Christopher Frost 25.06.11 5:01pm
Christopher Frost
Nations Children Unprepared for Dystopian Future

In a stark warning to parents and children around the country, education secretary Michael Gove warned that the nations children are “woefully unprepared” for the dystopian future to come. In a...

0
Fox100 25.06.11 4:29pm
Fox100
'God hates sycophants', says Archbishop of Canterbury 1
Christopher Frost 25.06.11 4:48pm
bonjonelson
Hacking suspect ‘has cough’ 1
Duncan Biscuit 26.06.11 3:20pm
the coarse whisperer