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Man hit by Nescafé lorry dies instantly. 5
sredni vashta 18.04.13 9:57pm
Wayne Rooney has hair transplant.

It just doesn't need any embellishment to be funny...

Al OPecia 18.04.13 9:18pm
Cameron and Osborne unveil new 'life-skills' curriculum

Module 1. Human relationships: Managing staff, Module 2. Finance: Scraping through on £10,000 a week, Module 3. The opposite sex: Dealing with debs, Module 4. Choosing a school: Eton or Harrow...

Terry 18.04.13 8:29pm
Stafford hospital welcomes "right to die" patients. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 18.04.13 8:22pm
Cardboard easter egg "an abuse of human rights," claims Norris, 11.

Norris Clatworthy had been saving his largest easter egg until last. But the excitement of opening it soon turned to shock when he found out that the cellophane and silver foil concealed an egg with...

Boutros 18.04.13 8:21pm
Man finds coffee that "tastes like mud" was only ground yesterday 6
Smart Alex 18.04.13 8:20pm
Man Bitten By Radioactive Wolf Dies. 0
sredni vashta 18.04.13 7:45pm
sredni vashta
Osborne "only crying because all his money was on Prince Philip" 0
sydalg 18.04.13 6:32pm
Some body left in Aberdeen Police Van

"We only dispose of old tyres" says Garage AM Phillip., Nobody takes the blame...

brd888 18.04.13 6:14pm
Newsbiscuit goes green....

So many recycled jokes here...

brd888 18.04.13 6:07pm
"Will we be relegated?" say Wolverhampton Wonderers 0
Dick Everyman 18.04.13 4:42pm
Dick Everyman
Hoy retirement "unrealistic in the current climate", says IDS

The Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan-Smith has criticised the retirement of Olympian Sir Chris Hoy, saying that all members of team GB should aim to continue professional competition until at...

Ablative Fabsolute 18.04.13 4:35pm
Past sell by date coffee described by friends as a "has bean" 0
irreverendJ 18.04.13 4:14pm
Hoy confirms retirement from recycling

binning it...

virtuallywill 18.04.13 3:56pm
Man hit by real coffee lorry just suffers slight brews 3
irreverendJ 18.04.13 3:52pm
Smart Alex
Scientist describes his attempt to cross insect with mammal as bit of a bugbear 0
Smart Alex 18.04.13 3:46pm
Smart Alex
Doctor Wants No More Lives Marred by Exercise

Following the broadcaster Andrew Marr’s recent stroke, which was attributed to excessive exercise, the theories of a controversial doctor are now receiving much greater attention. Commenting on...

Iggy Pop-Barker 18.04.13 3:28pm
Judge in French breast implant trial admits "I feel a right tit" 2
irreverendJ 18.04.13 3:03pm
Ablative Fabsolute
JCB describe their new design of digger as 'ground breaking'. 0
Ian Searle 18.04.13 2:32pm
Ian Searle
Dyslexic Americans fail to get Gnu control through the Senate 0
Ian Searle 18.04.13 2:19pm
Ian Searle
Dark Matter Sourced To St Paul's Cathedral. 2
sredni vashta 18.04.13 2:17pm
sredni vashta
Police evidence in cappuccino hit and run revealed as all froth and no substance 0
irreverendJ 18.04.13 1:48pm
State Funerals 'getting easier' moan protocol experts

Diane Abbott, a leading spokesperson for Prime Minister funeral protocol, has slammed slipping standards, casting yesterday's ceremony as 'without precedent' and proof that state funerals are getting...

ゴルゴ13 18.04.13 1:30pm
A good day to bury bad news, claim miners 3
Squudge 18.04.13 1:26pm
Chris Hoy spokes then re-tyres; a bit of a let down 0
irreverendJ 18.04.13 1:05pm
Horse Punch Man and Cat Bin Woman deny merger rumours 0
james_patching_1 18.04.13 12:55pm
Sir Chris Hoy announces retirement from advertising Shredded Wheat 0
simonjmr 18.04.13 12:50pm
Helen Flanagan's side tit on display outside restaurant. And now the weather... 0
ginty 18.04.13 11:29am
Oh hell, now we've got to do some work and find other stories cry reporters. 0
Ian Searle 18.04.13 10:55am
Ian Searle
Obama letter actually laced with ricin peas

More soon Bit racist, this. Hey ho, racism never hurt anyone...

Qoxiivi 18.04.13 9:29am