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'Wanker' features on episode of Countdown - C4 deny return of Des O'Connor 1
charlies_hat 19.01.12 12:54pm
charlies_hat
Costa Coffee 'taking on water'

Costa Coffee holed below the water line on hidden 'Frappucino' ice cube. "Danger Wet Floor, Slip Hazard" signs put in place by staff. More soon...

2
Mandy Lifeboat 19.01.12 12:45pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Katie Price installs public viewing area in Stargazing Live misunderstanding 0
simonjmr 19.01.12 12:10pm
simonjmr
Supermarkets employing two workers for the price of one 1
roybland 19.01.12 11:37am
Clarky
High Court rules that old church can return to complete obscurity

An old church, St Paul's Cathedral in the City of London, has the right to return to its usual state of compete obscurity, the High Court has ruled. The City of London Corporation yesterday won its...

1
roybland 19.01.12 10:09am
Username
Wiff Waff and waiter baiting: who could resist a Boris Island holiday?

Visitors to Boris Island will discover a world so unbelievable it could almost be a fantasy, writes our travel writer. Situated in the unique Thames Estuary, Boris Island, dubbed the latest...

0
Clarky 19.01.12 10:08am
Clarky
Wiff Waff and mistresses on tap: who could resist a Boris Island holiday?

Visitors to Boris Island will discover a world so unbelievable it could almost be a fantasy, writes our travel writer. Situated in the unique Thames Estuary, Boris Island, dubbed the latest...

8
Clarky 19.01.12 9:59am
Clarky
'Huge amounts of interest' as Wonga.com enters the mortgage market

Internet payday lender Wonga.com, has announced it has decided to expand into the mortgage market. The move comes as it becomes increasingly difficult for people to get a mortgage without at least a...

10
Perks 19.01.12 9:50am
charlies_hat
‘Imagine a world without free porn’, says blacked-out Wikipedia

The organisers of the online encyclopedia Wikipedia have warned web surfers that proposed legislation in the US may take us ‘back to the dark ages’ when it was necessary to pay to see womens’...

2
Oxbridge 19.01.12 9:10am
button
NHS Bill found abandoned on a hospital trolley outside A&E 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.01.12 8:48am
Duncan Biscuit
NHS reforms ‘a right carry on’ says doctors and nurses 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.01.12 8:48am
Duncan Biscuit
Waiting list for Andrew Lansley’s resignation continues to grow 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.01.12 8:47am
Duncan Biscuit
Government tell apprentice scheme heads ‘You’re fired’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.01.12 8:46am
Duncan Biscuit
Willy Wonka signs LA Galaxy deal 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.01.12 8:46am
Duncan Biscuit
NHS bill faces lengthy wait before being put into operation 0
charlies_hat 19.01.12 7:47am
charlies_hat
Missing John Muscle case latest, DNA traces found in neighbour's pipework. 0
Immunis 19.01.12 6:41am
Immunis
Spy rock uncovered! The Ruskies get their quarry

It was given away by wearing a tuxedo...

0
Psycadelic Squirrel 19.01.12 4:52am
Psycadelic Squirrel
New London Airport may be built on the site of Boris Johnson's [f**king!] ego

more [billions]later. Hurrah...

0
dvo4fun 19.01.12 12:48am
dvo4fun
A child named Fellatio

A couple from Somerset have sparked controversy after naming their newborn son Fellatio. Explaining the thought process behind their decision, the child's mother told reporters: 'Initially, my...

1
Christopher Frost 18.01.12 10:31pm
bonjonelson
Michael Gove ‘Likely to just get flowers’ for Queen after yacht idea rejected

After seeing his suggestion of celebrating the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee by building a new royal yacht, at a cost to the taxpayer of £60m, rejected, Michael Gove has admitted that there is now...

14
Vertically Challenged Giant 18.01.12 9:38pm
Clarky
Ken Livingstone sentenced to 21 years in captivity on Boris Island

Ken Livingstone sentenced to 21 years in captivity on Boris Island...

1
Mandy Lifeboat 18.01.12 9:33pm
Clarky
Luton revealed as Occupy protest camp

Following a high court decision to evict the Occupy London protesters from outside St Paul’s Cathedral, media outlets were surprised when residents of the Bedfordshire town of Luton vowed to...

5
Long Distance Clara 18.01.12 9:03pm
Perks
Visitors enjoy boost to self-esteem at zoo for obese animals

A West Midland zoo is witnessing record numbers of visitors, after deciding to fatten up all its animals with cakes. Solihull zoological park is the first sanctuary for obese animals, and members of...

22
18.01.12 8:55pm
Perks
Jabba the hut to come out of retirement for 2012 Olympic Basketball 0
simonjmr 18.01.12 7:41pm
simonjmr
Flashers to face stiff penalties 0
Major Clanger 18.01.12 7:21pm
Major Clanger
Internet to become literate by 2013.

Just as semi-literate bookstore Waterstones, citing a need for "a more versatile and practical spelling in the digital world of URLs and email addresses" loses an apostrophe, enlightened Internet...

2
Boutros 18.01.12 7:19pm
Major Clanger
Cameron to urge the poor to stop breathing

In an attempt to meet the Kyoto protocol targets on CO2 emissions, David Cameron will call on the poor to stop wasting oxygen and creating unnecessary carbon dioxide. "These people are nothing but a...

1
grottymonty 18.01.12 7:16pm
Major Clanger
'PC' meteorologist forecasts tricky driving in "Academically Challenged" fog. 7
dvo4fun 18.01.12 7:11pm
Major Clanger
Wogan accused of ripping off dyslexics with high interest loans. More soon. 15
dominic_mcg 18.01.12 7:09pm
Major Clanger
There is a large amount of poop in my butt, Please advise. 2
Dumbnews 18.01.12 7:05pm
Major Clanger