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Health and Safety audit of Ali Baba pantomime may rule out magic carpet

Basingstoke Amateur Dramatic Society’s production of Ali Baba & the 40 Thieves was in jeopardy last night after a Health and Safety official attended a dress rehearsal. Along with several...

Midfield Diamond 06.12.12 6:34pm
Midfield Diamond
Nail factory agrees to pay tacks

I'll get my coat...

apepper 06.12.12 6:15pm
ENIGMA dpef csplfo 0
Perks 06.12.12 5:18pm
. 1
Ian 06.12.12 4:00pm
European newspapers print naked Royal baby pics

Newspapers in several European countries have printed scans of the unclothed child of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The intimate ultrasounds show the still genderless tot relaxing naked in a sac...

Darkbill 2.0 06.12.12 3:22pm
Darkbill 2.0
Hospital release more private information during 'guess that sound' competition

With the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge leaving the King Edward VII hospital this morning, a nurse looking after the expectant princess told Heart FM she was 'feeling much better'.The statement came...

Perks 06.12.12 3:15pm
Starbucks finds huge cup with ten million pounds in it and HMRC written on it 0
Ian Searle 06.12.12 3:05pm
Ian Searle
Max Clifford seeks publicity by revealing sex attack on self 0
Sinnick 06.12.12 2:39pm
Washington State celebrates decriminalisation of marij.... wow, cookies

many more soon...

beau-jolly 06.12.12 2:30pm
Old Hat
William and Kate left suicidal after first NCT class

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been placed on suicide watch after returning home from their first NCT class. A source close to the young royals said that “I’ve never seen them like that...

Old Hat 06.12.12 2:29pm
Old Hat
Hacks Hack Lax Max for facts of sex attacks

Haha lolololololololol...

Bourbon 06.12.12 2:28pm
Max Clifford cells story 0
charlies_hat 06.12.12 2:25pm
changed my mind, I'm not writing that, it's all too sad 0
ronseal 06.12.12 2:12pm
Max Clifford in Pubic Relations disaster 1
beagle 06.12.12 2:04pm
Jeremy Beadle latest star arrested over Saville sex claims.

Police say they havnt much evidence but their sure he had a small hand in it...

Thubs Swirlim 06.12.12 1:13pm
Dr Who’s Decorator Takes Legal action

An interior decorator employed by a man known only as “The Doctor” is starting a legal case against him after his initial assessment of the job ended up taking far longer than he had been led to...

Quaz 06.12.12 1:10pm
Bored house husband runs off with maisonette

hat tip to Squudge ;0)...

Dick Everyman 06.12.12 11:58am
Sixty seven year old software tycoon John McAfee

on the run for suspected murder spoke to reporters for the first time today after crossing the border into Guatamala in one of his many disguises to seek political asylum.Speaking from a small forth...

Thubs Swirlim 06.12.12 11:50am
"Jubilee, Bladder infection, Golden Olympics, New Heir" - Queen's xmas tweet 0
simonjmr 06.12.12 11:40am
Acupuncturist Boxers Meet in Needle Match 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 06.12.12 11:31am
Iggy Pop-Barker
Ed Balls gives masterful display as shadow father Xmas at kids party

Ed Balls has been hailed for utterly trouncing Father Xmas's policies at a children's party hosted somewhere in the houses of Parliament. The self styled hardman of the hustings continually had Santa...

ronseal 06.12.12 10:27am
Xmas Card industry paralysed as entire nation "waits to see who sends us one"

Greeting card retailers and the mail rooms of Post Offices across the country were described as "eerily quiet" in early December, as the usual rush to send Christmas cards failed to materialise and...

Re Pete 06.12.12 10:12am
Re Pete
Insurance claim rejected because Kindle Fire was left on overnight 0
custard cream 06.12.12 10:05am
custard cream
Researchers discover loading thousands of books on Kindle makes device heavier 0
custard cream 06.12.12 10:03am
custard cream
Police step up hunt for missing debt target

Whitehall and the House of Commons are effectively in lock down as the Police continued their search of the Offices and park areas around Westminster for Chancellor George Orbourne's missing debt...

beagle 06.12.12 9:51am
Men terrified as girlfriends declare that Bad Sex award nominees make them wet

Some spent the night hiding in the backyard, others drank until they reached the barren desert of floppiness, still others came home wearing a chastity belt hastily constructed from office supplies....

thumper 06.12.12 9:51am
'It's a Knockout' to be renamed 'It's a Rohypnol' 1
DustyBinLaden 06.12.12 9:50am
It's a Knock-One-Out !

Do I get the prize for the tackiest pun ?...

Sinnick 06.12.12 9:13am
South Korea hit by new ‘Dagenham Style’ craze

The nightlife of South Korean capital Seoul has become gripped by a new British craze known as Dagenham Style. Hundreds of young girls dressed in vest-tops, mini-skirts and red stilettos totter...

Midfield Diamond 06.12.12 8:53am
Ed Balls blames 'shit performance' in Commons on Irritable Bowel Syndrome 0
pinxit 06.12.12 8:26am