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Child born with no heart or brain survives and becomes Chancellor of Exchequer 0
MT Bucket 22.12.11 10:33pm
MT Bucket
Kim Jong Il surprise winner of BBC Sports Personality of the Year. 0
MT Bucket 22.12.11 10:18pm
MT Bucket
Liverpool in shock January transfer move for Terry

With their title hopes fading fast Liverpool are looking to strengthen their squad ready for an assault on the FIFA racism league table. A Liverpool spokesman said "We are looking for world class...

ThunderSquid 22.12.11 10:06pm
Switzerland joins embargo of Falkland shipping

The Central African Republic is considering it's position...

apepper 22.12.11 9:29pm
Hands claws its own arm off, to detach itself from Piers Morgan 4
ronseal 22.12.11 8:03pm
Police declare war on ruthless sculptor gang targeting scrap metal dealers

Any mileage, people?...

Clarky 22.12.11 8:01pm
Alan Hansen face death sentence for saying people of colour are 'coloured'

Disgraced football pundit Alan Hansen, could face a death sentence - or worse - for describing people of colour as 'coloured'. In a shocking incident last night, which could see Britain kicked out...

ronseal 22.12.11 6:39pm
Lloyds TSB to sell 85% of Julie Waters to the treasury.

Much-loved actress and comedian Julie Waters, for eight years the voice of Lloyds TSB, is to become, literally, a national treasure. Almost. The ailing bank has been forced to sell an 85% in...

nickb 22.12.11 6:39pm
Catholic church surprised that Higg's bosun required for mass

Had previously thought that bread, wine, and incense ought to do it...

Smart Alex 22.12.11 5:55pm
Smart Alex
KGB polonium suspected to be involved in presumed death of Schrödinger's cat. 0
reforse 22.12.11 5:37pm
Cuts force Italian PM to begin eating imaginary apples

ndbrown123 22.12.11 5:01pm
Schrödinger family pet is found murdered ...and isn't 0
Smart Alex 22.12.11 4:50pm
Smart Alex
Luis Suarez Racist Attitude Typical of Those Shifty Uruguayans Claim FA 0
thisisall1word 22.12.11 4:43pm
BNP Council Member Sacked After Dressing as Lib Dem During Stag Do 0
thisisall1word 22.12.11 4:41pm
Kraft launch a white chocolate version of its famous Chocolate Orange for Xmas. 2
reforse 22.12.11 3:26pm
City of Newcastle credit rating downgraded from BB to YI 0
cinquecento 22.12.11 2:56pm
Cameron Having A Moody.......

.His AAA lifestyle under threat...

Jesse Bigg 22.12.11 2:46pm
Jesse Bigg
Milliband to be questioned about ’Stalin-themed’ party. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 22.12.11 2:11pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Gorden Kaye sacked from Allo Allo, for being pictured with man in Nazi Uniform

to reword Dominic's excellent idea...

Immunis 22.12.11 2:00pm
Cast of Allo Allo to face questions about "Nazi themed" TV show. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.12.11 1:55pm
France’s war of words ‘is over’ says Alain Juppe.

'Now we must just negotiate our surrender terms’ he added...

John Ffitch-Rucker 22.12.11 12:38pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Pearly Gate modernisation programme announced

Following a time and motion study by secure access consultants, entry to the kingdom of heaven is to be modernised. The Pearly Gates are to be replaced by Pearly Turnstiles, equipped with iris,...

Midfield Diamond 22.12.11 12:34pm
Midfield Diamond
Red-faced Hansen somewhat blue, but too yellow to apologise to 'coloured' people 3
Username 22.12.11 12:33pm
Would love to see Nick Clegg /James Cameron's pre-nup crib sheet... PS Did wayland have a hand in writing the note?...

Username 22.12.11 12:07pm
Shepherds complain after missing out in Bethlehem Secret Santa draw yet again

Flock watching shepherds were cursing their luck after leaving empty handed once again from the annual Secret Santa draw which was held at Bethlehem’s Premier No Room Inn. ‘I felt sure this was...

Stan 22.12.11 10:22am
Wolves to strengthen back four by signing Bob Crow in January transfer window 0
Duncan Biscuit 22.12.11 10:09am
Duncan Biscuit
Disbelief as new Spanish PM omits Barcelona players from his cabinet 0
Duncan Biscuit 22.12.11 10:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Lancashire toilet paper warehouse fire wipes business park off the map 0
Duncan Biscuit 22.12.11 10:06am
Duncan Biscuit
National Statistics confirms Eric Pickles’ waist grew 0.6% in the last quarter 0
Duncan Biscuit 22.12.11 10:05am
Duncan Biscuit
Axis of Evil to strengthen squad in January transfer window

The Axis of Evil will need to act quickly to strengthen their squad when the transfer window opens again in January if they are to compete on the global stage in 2012, according to TV pundit Alan...

ianslat 22.12.11 9:42am
Midfield Diamond