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America urges more random shooting to stop 'national girlyness'

America is to pass more laws encouraging random firearm incidents among members of the public, in order to 'ensure the country doesn't become gay'. "For hundreds of years Americans have enjoyed...

Shandy 12.04.12 12:26pm
Samantha Brick launches mirror franchise... can be beautiful too...

DiY 12.04.12 11:44am
Alan Davies wins The Sun' s Man of the Year award

Liverpudlians -known the world over for their sense of humour...

Tomfinger 12.04.12 10:43am
Elvis regrets “faked death” denial blunder

Elvis Presley, AKA Dwayne Summerfield, admits that years of subterfuge were in vain when he unthinkingly denied faking his own death. Dwayne had covered his tracks for years by posting “Elvis...

Yikes 12.04.12 9:40am
Adele revealed to be £8 million more attractive than Cheryl Cole 0
cinquecento 12.04.12 8:33am
Parents suffer 'special needs' heartbreak

A mother from Didcot has been talking about the devastating moment the joy of child birth turned to despair following the birth of a baby boy earlier this year., For Sarah (not her real name) the...

Gerontius 12.04.12 8:28am
Stonned Sony Executive tells redundant staff Walkman 0
Scronnyglonkle 12.04.12 8:15am
Study reveals small biologists have difficulty reaching an organism. 0
weematt 12.04.12 8:14am
Sat Nav developed which successfully navigates between a rock and a hard place 0
Ian Searle 12.04.12 8:09am
Ian Searle
Womens 10k Beach Walk "stick-on gold" for Brazil 0
Drylaw 12.04.12 8:07am
Sushi Chef fired for striking a raw nerve 0
Ian Searle 12.04.12 8:06am
Ian Searle
Scientists to employ nubile Swedish aides as solar flares effect moral compass 0
simonjmr 12.04.12 8:02am
Mushroom harvest under threat as Morel compass goes awry

Morel soon...

simonjmr 12.04.12 7:59am
Kim Jong-un designated as Sith Lord Kim Jong-un 0
Sinnick 12.04.12 7:39am
Ma'am mite expect royal toast on diamond jubilee day.

news is spreading...

Hugh Nose 12.04.12 6:03am
Hugh Nose
Rock unifies title with controversial win over Paper

Fans of Rock, Paper, Scissors were stunned after the shock defeat of Paper by underdog, Rock, at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas last night. Paper had never lost to Rock in countless meetings over the...

grumblechops 12.04.12 12:38am
Murdoch's long lost son found.

A man, who claims he has been wandering around lost in the Australian outback for 35 years with amnesia handed himself into police last Sunday. The man says his name is Archibold Murdoch. He said...

stevebrdfd 12.04.12 12:01am
Tristan Shout
Greek athletes to be issued with Cash4Gold envelopes "Just in case"

Cash4Silver, Cash4Bronze envelopes also available...

Tristan Shout 11.04.12 11:14pm
Tristan Shout
Olympic Athletes warned to avoid "low quality" fake gold medals.

International athletes planning to visit London for the 2012 Summer Olympics have been warned by organizers to avoid fake gold medals and only to accept medals from the official Olympic committee....

bonjonelson 11.04.12 10:20pm
Ken Dodd Definitely Barred From Taking Part In........ 0
Jesse Bigg 11.04.12 8:18pm
Jesse Bigg
Greenland to enter beach volley ball teams into Olympics

Not to be out done by Turkmenistan who today have announced their goal of setting up a national ice hockey league, Greenlands sport minister Noggin.T.Nog has decided to enter male and female beach...

stevebrdfd 11.04.12 8:05pm
Samantha Brick to launch new range of mirrors. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.04.12 7:12pm
Al OPecia
Comedians refuse to perform on anniversary of death of Alan Davies' career.

Next Tuesday, up and down the country, regional theatres, Jongleur clubs and upper rooms in bars will fall silent in commemoration of the death of Alan Davies' career on Tuesday the tenth of April. ...

Milo Shame 11.04.12 5:32pm
Milo Shame
Grand National organisers promise “humane treatment" for injured jockeys

Organisers of the Winalot Grand National today promised an end to the scenes of desperate suffering which last year blighted the nation’s favourite exhibition of high-speed horse mangling, by...

grumblechops 11.04.12 4:52pm
Archive shows lisping Titanic designer told to think the unthinkable. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 11.04.12 4:40pm
Otis B Driftwood
ITV’s Loose Women sue producer of Angry Birds TV show for copyright infringement 0
Ian Searle 11.04.12 4:36pm
Ian Searle
Electronic polling booths to use predictive text algorithms

The Electoral Commission today has announced that from 2014 polling stations across the UK will start using "electronic" polling booths. The May 2014 local elections will be the first to use the...

simonjmr 11.04.12 4:09pm
Apple to launch new Beer Googles App for the iphone.

For the first time you will have access, at your finger tips, to more unintelligible, irrelevant and down right offensive information and opinions than you will ever need on an average night out at...

Ian Searle 11.04.12 3:03pm
Ian Searle
FOR SALE - silver tabby 'Gorgeous George'

Surly disposition, but can be enticed with saucers of cream and crude oil. May need to be microchipped due to tendency to stray. Loving ethnic enclave sought. (Canadians need not apply)...

woodymellor 11.04.12 2:04pm
Ken Barlow sues William Roache for defamation of character

Still smarting from William Roache’s revelation that he slept with over 1,000 woman, Ken Barlow has counter-attacked by suing for defamation of character. Documents filed last week in the...

Yikes 11.04.12 1:52pm