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Police taking theft of laughing gas from hospital 'very seriously'

a spokesperson giggled...

0
Clarky 28.09.11 8:12am
Clarky
Dog’s sphincter applies for heritage status.

The dog’s owner, Mr. Dale Farmer, said “any shit-hole can now apply, apparently”...

1
John Ffitch-Rucker 28.09.11 8:06am
edmartin
Jeremy Paxman set to interview Tevez about threatening to overrule Mancini 0
QorbeQ 28.09.11 7:29am
QorbeQ
Challenging day for Dr Christian as his mum guests on Embarrassing Bodies

Normally unflappable Dr Christian Jessen’s silky consulting skills were tested to their fullest today as his mother surprised him by guesting on his no-holds-barred medical show. Normally a...

16
allmyownstunts 28.09.11 7:26am
Gerontius
Egg packing plant workers laid off

Due to competition from cheap imports...

0
greg various 28.09.11 6:50am
greg various
BBC presenters aghast as trader pours scorn on efforts to save the red squirrel

For the second day running, an outspoken City trader left interviewers open-mouthed as he admitted that traders 'don't really care that much' about the prospect of red squirrel extinction in the UK...

6
Golgo13 28.09.11 6:15am
TokyoTomato
Jaded sign language interpreter just going through the motions 0
Dumbnews 28.09.11 4:13am
Dumbnews
Latest airport security clampdown forces passengers to wear leotards

Britain's beleaguered airline passengers are facing a new initiative from next month, that will ensure flying remains as disquieting as ever. In an effort to stop terrorists from smuggling yoghurts...

3
27.09.11 10:57pm
dvo4fun
Troubled razor blade manufacturer threatens to cut workforce 11
Screenie 27.09.11 10:06pm
Screenie
Man thrown out of thai restaurant for not wearing one. 0
RJWinter 27.09.11 9:19pm
RJWinter
BAE systems admits defeat and starts producing Happy Meal toys. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.09.11 8:10pm
Al OPecia
Economists hire private investigator to track down the "Rational Consumer".

No luck so far...

0
Al OPecia 27.09.11 8:07pm
Al OPecia
Star Austrian horse farmer, Jörg Spechmaier, now has stable relationship 1
RJWinter 27.09.11 7:58pm
witless
Miliband speech sparks slump in propofol sales 0
roybland 27.09.11 7:13pm
roybland
Idea for a television programme:

"Fat chance with Russell Grant". Barrell-chested astrologer and general nit-wit Russell Grant investigates preposterous claims and theories which are never likely to come true; Elvis working in an...

0
Rhodium3 27.09.11 6:45pm
Rhodium3
The Miliband: the wavelengths between which policies become undetectable. 3
Al OPecia 27.09.11 6:38pm
dvo4fun
Shipman defends his actions through medium (with a little help from a friend)

It was a seriously wrong move that cost him his entire career, but doctor, Harold Shipman, has spoken up from the dead through a medium and said it was appropriate for him to be punished. Porky...

1
witless 27.09.11 5:40pm
witless
Heather Mills breaks down on last leg of journey

metal fatigue blamed...

3
witless 27.09.11 5:32pm
witless
Ten Milibands make one Centiband, claim scientists.

I'm here all week, try the veal., By the same token, one thousand Milibands could form one Band. But it would play shit and repetitive music and the lead singers would fall out with each other over...

3
SpankyMonkey 27.09.11 5:31pm
edmartin
Local man suffering from insomnia cured by attending a conference 0
Dumbnews 27.09.11 5:20pm
Dumbnews
Police admit 'pen mightier than sword' as National Biro Amnesty begins

People up and down the country were last night urged to hand in their pens to UK police stations as part of a nationwide Biro Amnesty, operating a no-questions-asked policy. The crackdown comes as a...

5
dicky37 27.09.11 5:14pm
dvo4fun
Richard Desmond lottery tickets 'help detect mental illness'

Daily Express owner Richard Desmond will launch a new lottery today, with strong links to mental health charities. Approximately 100% of ticket sales are expected to go to morons. Desmond has a long...

2
27.09.11 5:05pm
dvo4fun
Hedge fund collapse triggers Hampton Court maze closure

More later...

0
spoole2112 27.09.11 4:30pm
spoole2112
Demand for skylights going through the roof

More later...

0
spoole2112 27.09.11 4:20pm
spoole2112
Chaos at Liverpool's Labour Conference as locals steal conference Hall.

Ed Milliband's address to the party conference was interrupted today as the conference hall was stolen mid speech by an unruly collection of locals. 'Ed was in fine form,' Stated one conference...

2
ubermoomin 27.09.11 4:08pm
ubermoomin
Been done before. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 27.09.11 3:53pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Stuart Hall on operational readiness alert as Knockout Stages approach 0
simonjmr 27.09.11 3:39pm
simonjmr
Nodding dog captivates Labour Conference for hours 0
simonjmr 27.09.11 3:37pm
simonjmr
Wes Craven's new movie in financial turmoil, cast and crew slashed 0
simonjmr 27.09.11 3:36pm
simonjmr
Miliband's promise to "break closed circles" puts Olympic branding in turmoil 0
Perks 27.09.11 3:13pm
Perks