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Government complain hate clerics deportation appeals 'Abu s of process' 0
MADJEZ 19.04.12 11:41am
Norfolk man traces family tree all the way back to his sister

62 year old James Gait from Holt in Norfolk is delighted that, after many hours work, he has managed to trace his family tree back many generations all the way to to his sister, Richard. Mr Gait...

Screenie 19.04.12 11:25am
seymour totti
It's Anne Widdycombe or Sir Cliff for new Archbishop of Canterbury post.

The Church of England synod declared today the names of two candidates for the position of the next Archbishop of Canterbury. They are frumpish ex tory MP, now minor celebrity, Anne Widdycombe. And...

stevebrdfd 19.04.12 10:54am
Girl in US Secret Service scandal gets the sack 0
medici2471 19.04.12 10:29am
Man Down Under Now Man Six Feet Under. 2
Haywood Manley 19.04.12 10:25am
Haywood Manley
“100 days to go”, British infrastructure warns sport-loving foreigners

British Infrastructure was enthusiastically pulsating with buttock-clenching anticipation last night, following the announcement that there were only 100 days to go before he could start shafting...

Old Hat 19.04.12 10:02am
Captain Axel
Chelsea fan claims Champions League credit after tweeting "#prayfordrogba"

Armchair Chelsea fan, Barry Nicholls, 39, has been a lifelong supporter for the last 7 years. He was unable to get a ticket for Wednesday's Champions League match against Barcelona, so thought he...

seymour totti 19.04.12 9:57am
Deceased Men At Work Flautist accused of copying Amy Winehouse. 0
seymour totti 19.04.12 9:26am
seymour totti
Tanker drivers to vote on action when they return from skiing holidays. 0
MADJEZ 19.04.12 8:59am
King of Spain apologises to poor peasants, Queen offers cake. 0
MADJEZ 19.04.12 8:56am
White supremacist group decides to drop Black Power salute. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 19.04.12 8:56am
The Reign in Spain shoots mainly on the Plains 0
charlies_hat 19.04.12 8:45am
Scientists who cured mice of blindness hope to sew their tails back on soon. 1
dominic_mcg 19.04.12 8:45am
Lord Coe launches countdown to ’50 days to go’ countdown

With London 2012's '100 days to go' countdown firmly behind him, Lord Coe is keen to build on its success by launching a countdown to the '50 days to go' countdown. Coe has hand-picked a team of...

19.04.12 8:43am
Traumatised woman, 19, tells of Premier League footballer hell

A TRAUMATISED young woman has described the horrifying moment she was treated with dignity and respect by a Premier League footballer., Wiping away tears, the 19-year-old hairdresser from Preston,...

clicktingstampz 19.04.12 7:24am
Austrian village Fucking to change name to the village formerly known as Fucking

The Austrian village of Fucking is to vote on a name change in an attempt to escape the constant ridicule and attention the name attracts the hamlet. Road signs bearing the village’s name are...

Ian 19.04.12 6:45am
Screaming kid with bad handwriting 'got a Ryvita for his birthday'. 1
malgor 19.04.12 6:41am
'Copycat' fan blames Coronation Street for his dull argumentative lifestyle

A Cheshire man obsessed with ITV's Coronation Street is blaming the long-running soap for his 'meaningless and confrontational existence'., The man who cannot be identified for legal reasons claims...

Underconstruction 19.04.12 6:09am
Bolton request stop to recovery prayers as Muamba starts to develop super powers 8
charlies_hat 18.04.12 11:54pm
Olympic Travel Advice: Londoners Should Plan Extra Month Into Mass Migration

Transport for London and the Olympic Organising Committee have revealed travel plans for the games for those lucky enough to have tickets to the events, and those meant to be working during the two...

thisisall1word 18.04.12 10:39pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Hollywood to make China murder movie "as soon as someone understands it"

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Danny Davito and Ewan McGregor are all slated for major roles in a Hollywood retelling of the Neil Haywood case, which is due to start filming in Pinewood and Chonqing...

nickb 18.04.12 10:35pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Even Danish cartoonists "not going anywhere near" Breivik satire yet 1
grumblechops 18.04.12 10:26pm
Annie Lennox found alive and well in hotel bathtub

Tributes to the hugely popular recording artist Annie Lennox were pouring in last night after she was found lying in approximately eighteen inches of lukewarm bathwater, apparently none the worse for...

Gary Stanton 18.04.12 10:12pm
Damien Hirst delights art world with 'Giant Greggs Pasty in Cameron's botty'

Celebrated artist Damien Hirst has unveiled what he believes to be a "True dovetailing of northern and southern britain" in his new work "Giant Greggs pasty shoved up David Cameron's botty" and which...

antharrison 18.04.12 8:37pm
The evidence: Simon Cowell not full of Shit

Extracts from Tom Bowyer's forthcoming unauthorised biography have revealed that Simon Cowell is addicted to daily Colonic irrigation treatments. A source close to Cowell stated that the problem had...

newdave 18.04.12 8:36pm
Sex act ponders name change to avoid confusion with Austrian village 0
Yikes 18.04.12 8:30pm
Tibetan monks protest at high cost of petrol 2
Mandy Lifeboat 18.04.12 8:22pm
Isle of Wight "falling into information black hole".

Al OPecia 18.04.12 7:49pm
Al OPecia
Agitated Juan Carlos abdicates owing to 'Elephant in the Tomb' 0
pinxit 18.04.12 6:06pm
King Juan Carlos misses elephant, shoots himself in the foot. 0
yussle 18.04.12 5:51pm