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ITV in "Bad Language" row

ITV have today been censured by Ofcom following a TV programme which featured a string of expletives from Prince Charles. It was during a walkabout at the Chelsea Flower Show when the Prince was...

Rootin Tootin 04.06.13 12:02pm
Rootin Tootin
Binge-eating pensioner admits it all started when she swallowed a fly

The old lady whose eating spree included several large animals has warned how such binges can start innocuously. “When I had my fly snack I thought nothing of it”, she said. “But then, I...

sydalg 04.06.13 12:00pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
North Ikea football star Roo Ni Wayan may quit over gnome unrest.

Manchester based football star Roo Ni Wayan is reported to be considering handing in a transfer request. In a tweet he has expressed his fear for his family over the North/South Ikea gnome...

weematt 04.06.13 11:46am
Convicted golf pro set to swing. 0
sredni vashta 04.06.13 11:18am
sredni vashta
Michael Douglas claims it was just a slip of the tongue. 0
Ian Searle 04.06.13 10:15am
Ian Searle
Traces of Camembert found in Tesco Value Chedder. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.06.13 10:04am
Al OPecia
Husbands overwhelmingly in favour of 'some sex' marriage bill

more on your birthday...

blacklesbianandproudofit 04.06.13 10:04am
Not Amused
Man finds "Forgotten password" security question is "what's your password?" 1
Smart Alex 04.06.13 9:01am
Lindy Moone
Scotland "deeply divided" over gay porage law

The possible legalisation of gay porage could hi-jack the independence debate and divide the electorate, a new poll suggests. Gay porage, a hot topic for the Scots, could mean bed and breakfasts ...

nickb 04.06.13 8:53am
The All New Jeni B
Ed Balls gets new position as piano player in Last Chance Saloon 0
ronseal 04.06.13 8:51am
Catherine Zeta Jones: "It works both ways dear."

No oral soon...

The All New Jeni B 04.06.13 8:26am
The All New Jeni B
Prince Charles calls for more research into causes of female longevity 4
sydalg 04.06.13 8:17am
David Cameron: How to deal with a home emergency

The following manuscript has just been discovered at 11 Downing Street: This morning, my wife SamCam came to tell me that there was a leak in the ceiling, and that it was coming from the bathroom....

John Wiltshire 04.06.13 7:59am
John Wiltshire
Paedophile to be awarded CBE under "Equal rights" legislation

Martin Rogers, a 76 year-old convicted paedophile, is to be awarded a CBE by Buckingham Palace to bring him into line with the enormous number of famous child predators and sex attackers who have...

antharrison 04.06.13 7:05am
Britain to send arms to Murder Dem Batty Boy gang in bid to end the war on drugs

Britain is to extend its policy of arms dealer diplomacy to its own War on Drugs, in a move that will see Cruise Missiles supplied to the Murder Dem Batty Boys gang in Croydon. Arming one side, it is...

ronseal 04.06.13 6:10am
Dental dams 'unpopular' with some beavers, claim 0
Dick Everyman 04.06.13 5:40am
Dick Everyman
As Jesus signs for Man City, God himself returns to manage Chelsea 0
irreverendJ 04.06.13 5:37am
UKIP 50% Poll shocker

The latest poll from pollsters, Pubchat, puts UKIP on an amazing 50%. Labour and Conservatives polled 25% each, whilst the LibDems failed to register any interest from anyone., Tim Spoons, Pubchat...

04.06.13 2:50am
Samantha Johnson perplexed at affair claims

Samantha Johnson, barmaid at the Five and Duck pub, 10 Downton Street, Axminster, was shocked when she heard her name was being linked on Twitter with chairman of the darts team and local lascivious,...

04.06.13 2:35am
Make your PC faster after downloading 6 hours worth of files 0
Dumbnews 04.06.13 1:16am
Taser best way to deal with pre-teen Scousers, admits Deputy Chief Constable

Arthur 04.06.13 12:58am
UK economy in collapse after Mervyn King forgets bank account password

[Dictated by Arthur and posted in his absence]...

Arthur 04.06.13 12:15am
Zeta Jones speaks out against same sex marriage. Wants more variety. More soon 0
Coco 03.06.13 11:32pm
Church of Scotland minister "has been marrying couples with skirts for years"

"I'd learned that the groom is the one with a dagger in his stocking," explained the Reverend Minister, "although the bride will often pull a knife on me too. It's all very confusing." [This is...

Arthur 03.06.13 10:12pm
Supreme Court rules that your first born child can be taken after arrest.

Your first-born child can be taken from you under a routine arrest, the US Supreme Court ruled on Monday. ‘This is no different than sizing drugs or weapons during a raid. The police need that...

Hooch 03.06.13 9:37pm
Daily Mail medical researchers "vindicated at last"

"Doubted for years by The Internet "...

Dingodile 03.06.13 9:31pm
Rare sightings of strange yellow orbs is the Sun, assure astronomers - 2 50
Dick Everyman 03.06.13 9:17pm
Army Intelligence Officer who chose the password "Foe" is shot dead

[Dictated by Arthur and posted in his absence]...

Arthur 03.06.13 9:13pm
Anti-cancer activists call for password-only access to vaginas


sydalg 03.06.13 9:09pm
Mourinho pledges to stick to Benitez's spending plans 0
BAJDixon 03.06.13 9:03pm