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Tesco to sell dehydrated ice

Marketing Director John Frampton explained that Tesco have been selling convenience foods such as instant mashed potatoes and frozen omelettes for years. Indeed, they have been printing obvious...

0
Gary Baldy 04.10.11 12:44pm
Gary Baldy
Film star regrets red carpet treatment after being rolled on the floor

sprinkled with Shake'n Vac and having the Dyson run over them...

0
Ian Searle 04.10.11 12:36pm
Ian Searle
English Brewers League lose legal fight against pub that sells foreign beers 0
bonjonelson 04.10.11 12:08pm
bonjonelson
Knox, Knox, who's there?

Pizzaman!!!!!...

0
RJWinter 04.10.11 11:54am
RJWinter
Man not yet concieved recieves Nobel Prize for work on time travel 3
RJWinter 04.10.11 11:26am
Ostsee
EDU defends England 'quiet night in'

The England Drinkers (EDU) bosses have backed captain Mike Tavistock and his team-mates following tabloid allegations about a quiet night in, whilst they are in New Zealand for the Drinkers World Cup...

1
simonjmr 04.10.11 11:14am
simonjmr
OJ Simpson to ghost-write Amanda Knox Book.

Will also have cameo in forthcoming film...

1
miked10270 04.10.11 10:23am
Hoops McCann
Chas n Dave deny cashing in on tragedy with release of "Mertcha!" 1
nickb 04.10.11 10:20am
dvo4fun
Cut school leaving until the age of 14, suggests former inspector of schools

The former Chief inspector of schools, Chris Woodhead, has put himself firmly back in the spotlight today by suggesting that children should be kept at school, 24/7, until the age of 14. ‘Kids...

13
Screenie 04.10.11 10:17am
dvo4fun
Old time entertainers suffer from "pre-minstrel tension"

Maureen and Dave Jones from Worcester are worried. The couple, now in their seventies, were to perform "Mamie" in the style of Al Jolson including full black-face make up, for their local amateur...

1
nickb 04.10.11 9:18am
nickb
Autumn Aspects

Well it's that time of the year when the trees change their hue and the leaves start to fall hence the expression "Fall" so often used by our American cousins. An increasing feature in recent...

1
Drylaw 04.10.11 9:07am
greg various
Keith Richards releases 'Gimme Sheltered Accommodation' 0
nickb 04.10.11 8:58am
nickb
Free pint with cheap Greek football at your local now. 0
Ostsee 04.10.11 8:43am
Ostsee
iPhone4 users to become obsolete by midnight. 2
Ostsee 04.10.11 8:28am
riesler
RMT threatens shite and go for commuters

Desperate to combat planned attacks on pensions, RMT boss Bob Crow says that some union hardliners have been receiving covert training in an ancient Korean martial art. No Kan Do (pronounded [i]no...

1
vertical 04.10.11 8:25am
vertical
Odd job man hired by surrealist

anchovy pyjamas...

3
nickb 04.10.11 8:06am
John Ffitch-Rucker
World's largest telescope completed; "May see light at end of tunnel."

The Atacama large milllimetre/submillimetre array (ALMA) in Chile is the largest, most complex telescope ever built. The director of the telescope has optimistic expectations: "ALMA will be able to...

0
apepper 04.10.11 7:45am
apepper
Isaac Newton finally to receive Nobel Prize. Next time Archimedes. 0
Ostsee 04.10.11 7:32am
Ostsee
OJ and Foxy Knoxy both 'strangely hesitant' about Match.com pairing 0
pere floza 04.10.11 6:50am
pere floza
Celebrity crime rate rises as Aktinson's daughter steals spotlight at film show 0
Ian Searle 04.10.11 6:42am
Ian Searle
Judges say no to hard Knox life

Adding, "the sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar"...

0
Ian Searle 04.10.11 6:39am
Ian Searle
Paperboy Shortage Hits as All Teenagers Go to University

With university fees set to rise from next year, every child leaving school this year has applied for a place on any course offered, just so they don't miss out. Parent, Julia Smith says, "It's like...

1
kga6 04.10.11 6:21am
kga6
England full time alcoholic blames IRB for blighting his career

England hooligan and bon viveur, mike cuteo, today lambasted the old codgers at the, International Rugby Board for demanding too much from england's full time internationally acclaimed, superstars...

0
kevinkp 04.10.11 12:01am
kevinkp
Man dies after eating an Apple a day

A 19 year old man died yesterday, after being advised to eat an apple a day by his doctor. Wayne Chavley was rushed to hospital after consuming 2 iphones, 3 ipads and a macbook air over the course of...

3
Perks 03.10.11 11:38pm
TokyoTomato
Hull ex-offender's scheme shows making life easy for people cuts down crime

The Hull initiative, instead of giving people their full punishment, provides them with free training, guaranteed employment in a range of social enterprises and a share in the companies profits....

3
Screenie 03.10.11 11:17pm
dvo4fun
SMEs look forward to ficticious billions from career-politician bullshitters

Small and medium enterprises across the UK are said to be delighted that "Billions will be made available to us" thanks to David Camerona and George Osborne as they unveiled the Observver book of...

0
antharrison 03.10.11 10:28pm
antharrison
Apple to sue Kate Moss

'She's thin, white and pleasing on the eye. I'm damn sure we did that first,' explained a spokesman...

0
Screenie 03.10.11 9:57pm
Screenie
R Kelly finally concedes that he probably can’t fly

R&B singer, songwriter, producer and alleged kiddy-fiddler R Kelly has finally admitted after 15 years that he can’t fly. The American music star had repeatedly stated over the last decade and...

7
Vertically Challenged Giant 03.10.11 9:36pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Elderly Smoking Pimp is disgusted at retirement home's Hoes-N-Pipe Ban 0
Perks 03.10.11 9:33pm
Perks
R Kelly to record album of Dr Seuss-inspired songs

Noted American rap star R Kelly (real name, Robert Sylvester Kelly) is proving once again that he has a unique connection with young people by collaborating on an album of new material with the...

0
bonjonelson 03.10.11 9:32pm
bonjonelson