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350,000 Manchester City fans at the Etihad stadium as City claim title

An estimated 350,000 Man City supporters were present yesterday at the Etihad stadium to watch Manchester City lift the Premier League title. The crowd figure is based on the number office workers...

Mandy Lifeboat 15.05.12 6:30am
Forget all this nonsense about being 'customer facing' police tell taxi drivers

After a spate of accidents, The London Association of Taxi Drivers has told its member to abandon their strategy of being more 'customer facing'. One driver, whose head went backwards through the...

ronseal 14.05.12 9:15pm
Man Utd cancel open top bus parade through Surrey 1
Perks 14.05.12 9:06pm
Greek cheesemakers say Euro bailout a "feta compli" 1
nickb 14.05.12 7:45pm
Society For Prevention of Time Measurement "Working against the clock"

More follows...

apepper 14.05.12 7:39pm
Local Lothario celebrates eighth full year of paternity leave

A womaniser from Liverpool’s Shippam’s Estate is celebrating tonight, after securing his eighth full year of paternity leave. Dave Grobbelaar, 27, received the happy news by text message from...

14.05.12 5:55pm
Chewing Gum impairs short term memory says study

According to researhers at Cardiff University Kozlov, M. D., Hughes, R. W., & Jones, D. M. (in press). Gummed-Up Memory: Chewing Gum Impairs Short-Term Recall. Quarterly Journal of Experimental...

Otis B Driftwood 14.05.12 5:49pm
Sea Shepherd founder arrested after flock of sheep drowns 1
beau-jolly 14.05.12 3:48pm
"Ugly" Buckingham Palace to be replaced by Preston bus station

more carbuncles soon...

grottymonty 14.05.12 3:42pm
A nation mourns as inventor of inflatible footwear pops his clogs

More to follow...

apepper 14.05.12 3:28pm
Scottish brewers in search for double strength unit of alcohol 1
Tomfinger 14.05.12 2:35pm
Spiritual Polar Bear to raise global warming awareness in Paws for Thaws 0
simonjmr 14.05.12 2:04pm
Fisherman's birthday celebrations really did push the boat out 0
simonjmr 14.05.12 2:01pm
Cheeky and audacious tea break confectionary thief - 'takes the biscuit' 0
thackaray 14.05.12 1:58pm
BBC demand BGT winner has eye gouged out before appearance on the One Show 0
simonjmr 14.05.12 1:46pm
Britains Got Talent winner in bone-hacking scandal

Chews of the World exclusive...

pushmoocat 14.05.12 1:18pm
Glaswegians' cost of living to double with 50p per unit food price shock. 0
Boutros 14.05.12 1:11pm
Windscreen washer price war – rate drops to a “sympathetic eyebrow raise”

In a sign that the recession is affecting all areas of society, roadside windscreen washers are now routinely charging a sympathetic eyebrow raise, with some charging as little as stony-faced...

Yikes 14.05.12 12:02pm
Outbreak of not being a Man Utd fan syndrome everywhere but Manchester

After Man City’s last minute title win in controversial and completely unnecessary extra time, Man United fans everywhere have been struck down with Acute Not Being a Man United Fan Syndrome. ...

Old Hat 14.05.12 11:40am
Old Hat
Confused Tinchy Stryder "thought he was married to Sting" 0
nickb 14.05.12 11:38am
Pudsey revealed as a diva dog as backstage staff say he has distemper! 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.12 11:18am
Luxembourg Boxing Council sanction Barton v Balotelli rematch 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.12 11:16am
Dalai Lama and Gareth Malone in shock signing for the Darkside

Emperor Palpatine has today announced that he has signed the Dalai Lama and Gareth Malone as emergency cover for his ailing Galatic Empire and Sith Lord counter culture. In the last 30 years...

simonjmr 14.05.12 11:10am
Ferguson commissions new sculpture for Etihad stadium: "The B of the Bastards!" 0
Nails UK 14.05.12 10:43am
Nails UK
Cameron and Clegg to sue Ashleigh and Pudsey for stealing their long-running act 0
cinquecento 14.05.12 10:04am
Only boys Aloud fans slam Ashleigh and Pudsey for buying the title.

To some Ashleigh and Pudsey may seem like a lowly mongrel and a moderately attractive teen done good but fans of rivals Only Boys Aloud have moved to condemn their success, claiming that they brought...

Smith0ne 14.05.12 9:58am
Rochdale welcomes return of 'bob-a-job' 0
pere floza 14.05.12 8:42am
pere floza
Big political surprise as people learn Peter Hain was in the shadow cabinet 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.05.12 8:32am
Duncan Biscuit
Royal College of Nursing report panned by critics 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.05.12 8:32am
Duncan Biscuit
Price of silver reaches record high 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.05.12 8:31am
Duncan Biscuit