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Roland Emmerich directs controversial film Anonymous; or does he?

Roland Emmerich's latest film, [i]Anonymous[/i], claims that Shakespeare didn't write his plays, but that the 17th Earl of Oxford did - including several posthumously. "That was quite the fashion in...

apepper 27.10.11 10:18am
Martin McGuinness vows to join the 'war against terrorism'

As the Irish electorate go to the polls, the high profile presidential candidate Martin McGuinness has vowed to join Britain in the war against terrorism. McGuinness, former IRA commander, told...

Perks 27.10.11 10:14am
Scottish Borders Council finds money for new website! But how?

Faced with education cutbacks, recruitment freezes, bins gone to fortnightly collection can you imagine my horror (whilst job hunting) to find that Scottish Borders Council has relaunched their...

vanessabeeson 27.10.11 9:34am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Film casts new doubt on authorship of Bill Bryson’s 'Shakespeare'

Following new doubts raised by the film 'Monotonous', an account of the life of Bill Bryson, a leading scholar has entered the fray with his views on the true authorship of Bill Bryson’s book...

Des Custard 27.10.11 9:24am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Applying both Lynx and Impulse creates ‘perfect sexual null point’

Medical researchers at the prestigious Edinburgh University have made a breakthrough in the fight against overly attractive people after discovering that simultaneously applying popular deodorants...

jp1885 27.10.11 9:13am
Singles website introduces speed carbon dating for unattached archaeologists. 1
Ian Searle 27.10.11 8:58am
Edinburgh Council poll asks "Are you Satisfied, Unsatisfied, Fucking Furious?" 1
Drylaw 27.10.11 8:56am
Milk of human kindness can cause allergic reaction

or 'may contain nuts'...

vertical 27.10.11 8:54am
Italian farmer with low straw yields asks Europe for a hay bale out

No more soon...

Perks 27.10.11 8:50am
Joanna Lumley sale to pay off Greek National Debt

A Greek Finance Ministry spokesman today announced plans to sell off National Treasure, Joanna Lumley, to pay off their mounting debt. "We've tried for years to get back the Elgin Marbles without...

Monsewer Crapaud 27.10.11 8:28am
Apple launches new iTalk and iListen apps

Defying market rumours that Apple would lose its creativity without Steve Jobs at the helm, CEO Tim Cook today launched two new, revolutionary apps named iTalk and iListen. Based on a combination of...

DorsetBoy 27.10.11 7:35am
Government unveils plan to make workplaces even more hellish

A new government report has recommended that the few people still in employment should be kept in a state of perpetual fear and trepidation. The report, entitled Keep Your Head Down, calls on the...

Darkbill 2.0 27.10.11 5:45am
Monsewer Crapaud
Art world out of touch, claims artist who dresses as girl, holidays with teddy

Dressed as his flamboyant female alter-ego, Claire, in gingham and pigtails, cross-dressing former Turner prize-winner Grayson Perry has accused the art establishment of being out of touch with...

Clarky 27.10.11 5:32am
Young “from all walks of life” encouraged to train for the monarchy

She has already agreed to change succession rules to favour future female royals. Now, it’s understood, the Queen is looking at the possibility of encouraging more young people from a diversity of...

nickb 27.10.11 1:21am
Annoying patient forces psychiarist to see a psychiarist 0
Dumbnews 27.10.11 12:49am
US Army admits antigay policy was 'way of dealing with its own sexuality issues'

(took a while to cram into a title - may have lost a bit in translation) The US Army revealed the feelings it had repressed since its inception to the United States Senate at a nice restaurant with...

gaijintendo 26.10.11 11:19pm
Lack of any 'junior managers' leads to self-styled 'Middle Managers' downgrading

More self awareness soon...

dvo4fun 26.10.11 11:12pm
ME link to EU

Researchers in Norway believe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), also known as ME, may be caused by an over exposure to EU related news stories.The disease is thought to affect some 250,000 people in...

medici2471 26.10.11 10:38pm
Big Job For Cameron At Euro Crisis Meeting.....

.Euro leaders' messenger boy...

Jesse Bigg 26.10.11 9:27pm
Jesse Bigg
Germany solves debt crisis by investing €211bn in taramasalata futures 1
26.10.11 9:17pm
SCS to bail out Eurozone with borrow now pay at Easter deal. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 26.10.11 9:04pm
Boeing 787 arrives 3 years late - demonstrates unprecedented flight endurance 1
GreenCross 26.10.11 7:55pm
Gadhaf Caught In Chysler Crossfire

Ibrahim Abbashim, member of the Transient Interim Temporary Situation (or TITS) said [quote]Yes, yes it's true. Apparently Gadhafi was killed in a crossfire, believed to be the only car of its type...

Flagrantabuse 26.10.11 6:44pm
Worldwide collapse of Dominos Pizza the result of “chain reaction”.

What started as a minor moped accident outside Dominos Pizza in Esher, Surrey has resulted in meltdown for the global food business, and a threat to the take-away indusry worldwide. Mel Farnsworth,...

nickb 26.10.11 5:00pm
Man-powered flight record smashed by woman with bingo wings 4
pinxit 26.10.11 4:52pm
Capitalists and lower case fanatics clash over St. Paul's font 6
spoole2112 26.10.11 4:51pm
No hard feelings, says PM as third Tory rebel dies in mysterious circumstances

The Police have said that the death of a third Conservative rebel MP earlier today, remains "unexplained". Meanwhile, David Cameron insisted that no ‘bad blood’ existed after 81 Tory MPs defied...

Darkbill 2.0 26.10.11 4:48pm
Post Office to be sold to Domino's Pizza.

In an unexpected but idiosyncratic move, the coalition government announced today that the General Post Office's remaining postal service is to be sold to Domino's Pizza. The company hopes to...

FormerlyAlOPecia 26.10.11 4:41pm
Merkel and Sarkozy announce "We have finally fixed the Eurozone crisis"

surely that's funny!...

brd888 26.10.11 4:38pm
Swindon forced to rename it's not so 'magic' roundabout., Following three years of research, a public consultation and £120...

Perks 26.10.11 4:36pm