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Freezing weather' worst seen' since yesterday 0
Bismarck 4 years

more later...

Outrage as last flight of the Harrier fails to be commemorated by Franklin Mint 0
VictorMeldrew 4 years
Australian denies homophobic accusations in song about national bird 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

Look mate, its just a fucking kookaburra...

Scottish Transport Minister resigns as the sun comes out in Edinburgh. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Fears that North Korean office party high jinx could trigger nuclear strike 1
roybland 4 years

The US is worried that fun and games at Christmas office parties in North Korea could lead to a nuclear strike on South Korea according to confidential cables appearing on WikiLeaks. 'There is a...

Ex Minister Says Machine Guns should be Decriminalised 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

An ex home office minister said the war on guns is a waste of money and that machine guns should be legalised and made available through coffee shops.'There are plenty of sensible responsible users...

Shopping for landfill: eight more days to go... 2
Doylem 4 years
CPS demand Assange judge adds 12 Labours of Hercules to bail condition. 10
Erlang 4 years

1.Slay the Nemean Lion., 2.Slay the nine-headed Lernaean Hydra., 3.Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis., 4.Capture the Erymanthian Boar., 5.Clean the Augean stables in a single day., 6.Slay the...

Clegg denies desire for Coition Government 0
roybland 4 years
Assanges' new site to deal only with solid evidence: Wikidumps 0
VictorMeldrew 4 years
Men's socks and handkerchiefs must have Christmas gifts retailers say 0
roybland 4 years
Last-minute shopping... 0
Doylem 4 years

Supermarkets are gearing up for the rush, as customers buy last-minute presents and stock up with food for the holidays. “Nobody wants to see two women fighting over the last packet of sage and...

Wikileak Warne sold soul to devil for a spin at bashing the brits 0
wolfie 4 years

Wikileaks reveals that, in a cable sent to Satan, Shane Warne's magic was of the black sort, as he offered his soul for sale. Australia's inexplicable time at the top of world cricket has...

Self-aware Tesco tills take hostages 8
dogwheels 4 years

A set of self-service supermarket tills have apparently become self-aware and have now taken over their entire store. Police said that the tills are now in control of all aspects of the branch of...

Eastenders to be re-named 'Slags and Junkies'. 0
petebrown 4 years
Police Forces Still Discriminating Against Criminals 1
Deimos 4 years

Statistics released today from the Home Office have shown that virtually all UK Police Forces are still showing strong discrimination against criminals. Stuart Mycroft, Equalities Officer with the...

Secret Santa outed on Wikileaks 20
gaijintendo 4 years

A bit like the front paeg story though...

‘No’ to a drugs free-for-all... 0
Doylem 4 years

Under new government proposals Ministers will no longer be required to seek the advice of scientists when making drug classification policy. Charles Caundle, Minister for Misinformation: “I don’t...

Dyson launch the Spunkmaster 900... 0
Doylem 4 years
Dyson unveil new turbo penis pump in time for Christmas 0
dogwheels 4 years
Angel Gabriel to fight extradition over sex assault claims - 2 32
Mary Evans 4 years

A heavenly envoy of the Lord God Almighty has vowed to fight his proposed extradition to Israel to face trial regarding an alleged sexual assault dating back to 1 BC. The alleged victim, named only...

FHM renames UK's Shopping centres in Xmas lead up 3
simonjmr 4 years

FHM has decided that in the run up to Xmas that they will rename all shopping centres with appropriate mancentric names: The new names are as follow Merry Hell - Birmingham, Murder Hall -...

Dasterdly and Muttley concerned by appearance of Wackyleaks 0
simonjmr 4 years
Extradition calls after Wikileaks releases naughty and nice list. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Bob Ainsworth proposes sweeping changes for drugs, society 5
gaijintendo 4 years

Bob Ainsworth, after advocating the decriminalisation of Drugs has gone on to outline his proposals for a safer Britain. Top changes included the end of speed limits, lowering the consensual age for...

General agreement that Tom Daley's 'World No.1' tag 'a bit misleading' 13
Golgo13 4 years

One of the ten sportsmen and women shortlisted for this year's BBC Sports Personality of the Year, Tom Daley, the world 10-metre platform diving champion, has been hailed as a diving prodigy from an...

Microsoft: “Kinect not breaking down enough”; patch on the way 0
spudgun 4 years [i]Red lights; thing of the past[/i] ? In a move to avoid any possible confusion, Microsoft have assured users that...

Secret Santa to be replaced with Self Santa 0
gaijintendo 4 years

So you don't get a pile of crap from someone you hardly know...

Scots Woman At Asda Checkout Till Says Someone In England Will Pay For It. 0
IABP 4 years
Coalition to burn down Luton and claim insurance in "Solve 2 Problems in 1" plan 3
MC One R 4 years