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Men's Health Magazine to include pull-out section on ineffective contraception 0
jp1885 3 years
Panic button to be installed on clergy says Pope, 3
Codec 3 years

In a surprise move, the pope has moved to outflank his outspoken critics by suggesting the installation of a new panic button on all clergy. Whilst the Vatican had held out for some time saying...
Catholic church withdraws "padded cassocks for choirboys" from Vatican gift shop 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Proverbs set for a 21st Century upgrade 27
Iamthestig 3 years

"Be surprised if a Greek can bear a gift" "A bird in the hand, is going to get you a harrassment charge" "iPad therefore I pose" more when I think of some...
George Osborne unveils Tories' new economic strategy: The Magic Money Tree 1
Ludicity 3 years

Shadow Chancellor George Osborne has finally revealed how the Conservative Party can cut the deficit without raising taxes via a fully costed ‘Magic Money Tree’. Speaking at an election press...
Katie Price In Surprise Marathon Pull Out 9
Mr Glover Lover 3 years

Says her inspiration came from Marianne Faithfull...
Government plans to scrap solar-powered road signs 3
theumpire 3 years

Following a shock report from the Road Research Laboratory at Crowthorne, Berkshire, the Ministry of Transport today announced that it will be removing solar-powered roadside signage over the coming...
Lib Dems want fairer Britain, BNP say they have same promise in their manifesto. 0
virtuallywill 3 years

One Country, One promise, Two perspectives...
Joke writers unable to find angle on forthcoming Prime Ministerial mass debate 5
jp1885 3 years
Early adopters lured to polls with special 'midnight opening' at selected venues 0
QorbeQ 3 years

In a renewed bid to bolster waning interest in 'Election 2010', the Electoral Commission have announced that certain polling stations will be opening at the stroke of midnight on polling day, May 6th...
Relief as Hitler clone turns out to be a complete bastard 11
jp1885 3 years

Far-right extremists are breathing a sigh of relief today, after the worlds only living clone of fascist leader Adolf Hitler was officially labelled a 'complete bastard' by his peers. Nigel Hitler,...
Pressure shows on Cameron as Poll lead narrows 0
RichT 3 years

There was growing suspicion today that David Cameron was beginning to crack under the pressure of the General Election after a bizarre rant on BBC2's Newsnight in which he claimed he would "love it"...
Labour: "we need to lose in 2010" 0
QorbeQ 3 years

A leaked memo today casts doubt on the level of commitment for an election win from the Labour party. The memo, purportedly from the office of Jack Straw, highlights current and upcoming "national...
Cox "sticky end almost inevitable" in large hardon collision 1
andhrimnir 3 years
Whitney Houston fans complain: 'She's ten years older since we last saw her' 0
smyke 3 years

Audience demands refunds after singer appears on NEC stage 'clearly a decade older than she was in 2000'. Protestor complains: 'She looks and sounds like someone who has battled with highly...
ITV ad sponsors demand election debate features regular references to Emmerdale 8
nealdoran 3 years

Tombola Bingo, sponsors of ITV soap opera Emmerdale, have expressed anger at the replacement of its usual highly-rated sponsored programme on Thursday with the first televised leadership debate in...
"It doesn't really matter what we put in our manifesto does it?" admits Clegg. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Channel 4's Hotel Inspector turns Obi Wan Kenobi's failing B&B into a success. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Primark children's swimwear to include panic button. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Tescos withdraw padded nappy range 0
edward hack 3 years
Gordon Brown admits admitting mistake may have been mistake 5
Ludicity 3 years
Primark to withdraw Paulo Nutini 0
Ludicity 3 years
Pope Haunted By Story That Keeps Coming Back From The Dead 0
afternoonslow 3 years

“There's no need for resurrection of tired old stories that are obviously just made up to suit their own ends by a bunch of weirdos”, said Cardinal Fascistio Tony, not at all gayly...
'Conquistadors were just a bunch of homos' reveals Vatican 0
edward hack 3 years

Nothing to do with us says Pope, It was the trinkets, the brightly coloured clothes and the jewellery that turned them into looting,murderous sodomites, not Catholicism. We always aimed to return...
ITV Televised erection debate aims to show that the party leaders aren't stiffs 0
Iamthestig 3 years
BP Withdraw latest ad campaign "Unleaded petrol that's reassuringly expensive" 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Let's face it, do they really need to advertise!...
Pickfords shares rocket after bookings boost for May 7th 2010 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Early set-back for DIY rural broadband after signal has to slow down for ducks 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Woman accuses German Measles of sexual assault 0
QorbeQ 3 years

"It was all over me like a rash"...
Labour’s hopes end as Brown admits “Cameron’s dad would have beaten my dad" 0
antharrison 3 years

Gordon Brown’s prime-ministerial ambitions lie in tatters today after he acknowledged that David Cameron’s accusation that “My dad would have beaten your dad in a fight” was "Probably...