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Remains of Catherine the Great found to contain traces of horse DNA 1
cinquecento 09.02.13 1:08pm
planned sequel to War Horse sponsored by Findus 0
victimms 09.02.13 12:40pm
Arbitrary deadlines must be abolished by March 16th 5
Vertically Challenged Giant 09.02.13 11:34am
McCartney denies veggie burgers contain 29% uniquorn 0
cinquecento 09.02.13 10:16am
Rooney tested for horse DNA after suspicious Brazil victory

Wayne Rooney was tested today for traces of horse DNA after galloping across the Wembley turf for the full 90 minutes on Wednesday. Following England's surprise victory, nagging doubts about...

09.02.13 10:08am
Mandela's grand-daughters in "I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of Here"

Won't get a ticker, just struck me as humorous, [Edit: meaningless without the link. Duh!]...

Sinnick 09.02.13 8:59am
Cameron in EU budget cut victory: Dog to replace horse in beef products. 0
Nowherefast 09.02.13 5:32am
Lib Dems Suggest Creating a European Organisation to Regulate Meat Quality

"What we need" said a spokesman "is some kind of official European organisation to regulate the quality of meat and other products traded between the various countries of Europe." "It might mean the...

Titus 09.02.13 4:54am
Office Of Statistics Budget Justified By Current News Items

As recently as last week, the Office Of Statistics budget was rumoured to be facing funding cuts reported to be in the region of 38%, but the recent national obsession with percentages of all...

Paddy Berzinski 09.02.13 2:25am
Paddy Berzinski
Abattoir staff 'wondered why they had been killing horses'

Staff at Britain's largest abattoir in Buckinghamshire are satisfied at finally understanding the central role they had been playing in the industrialised slaughter of horses for over two years....

BAJDixon 09.02.13 1:30am
Stuart Hall to fight charges with huge foam hammer and bucket of water 2
Duncan Biscuit 09.02.13 1:27am
Alan Sundry
UK braces for snow story overload

The UK has been put on high alert this weekend after forecasters predicted a massive deluge of press and TV news stories about snow. One mediarologist, who couldn't be named, said: "We are going to...

Mik Bulk 09.02.13 1:25am
Alan Sundry

.The new meaty product on the market? Nay, lad...

Jesse Bigg 09.02.13 12:18am
Foal found in veal 0
nickb 09.02.13 12:14am
Isle of Wight discover that Cowes is actually 29% Horses

Isle of Wight residents were shocked to discover that nearly a third of the Cowes is actually Horses. Our reporter tried to record local reactions but was burnt as a witch when he pulled out his...

apepper 09.02.13 12:13am
New book on history's 'hottest communication methods' found to contain morseheat 1
SJM 08.02.13 11:31pm
Dairy farmer discovers 60% of his cows are actually horses

Investigators looking into the ongoing beef/horsemeat scandal believe they may have traced the cause of the problem to a short-sighted farmer in Tipperary, who was found to have a significant...

Vertically Challenged Giant 08.02.13 11:12pm
Paddy Berzinski
Bargain Cheapo Burgers "A year's supply for a tenner" found to contain roadkill.

How long before we find human remains in burgers or lasagne?...

deskpilot3 08.02.13 11:11pm
Government bullshit found to contain 29% horseshit

Nick Clegg blamed for the contamination...

MikeF 08.02.13 11:08pm
Warning Issued - Horsemeat can give you the trots. 0
Paddy Berzinski 08.02.13 11:05pm
Paddy Berzinski
Groundbreaking TV cop show features well matched colleagues with stable lives 0
custard cream 08.02.13 11:03pm
custard cream
HMRC Traditionalists in New Customs Raid 0
SJM 08.02.13 10:54pm
Trace of Wildebeest found in Lion Bar 1
Drylaw 08.02.13 10:46pm

Is Paul McCartney a Christian? Sir,, The successful singer-songwriter Paul McCartney is indeed a practising Christian. I know so because I baptised him! Paul came to our little church in Beadle...

Mik Bulk 08.02.13 10:05pm
Near-Miss asteroid is not "made of fucking horsemeat!" rants astronomer

And nor does it have any connection with burgers or lasagne. "That would just be ridiculous," said an exasperated Professor Bob Stansfield. The near miss, anticipated to occur a week from now has...

Paddy Berzinski 08.02.13 10:03pm
Paddy Berzinski
Dancing in the streets of Brussels as EU Budget agreed

"Peace in our time", says UK PM Cameron, "I've sorted out Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Afghanistan, Iraq and Mali - and topped it with the EU!", Cameron to be offered kingship by grateful nation...

custard cream 08.02.13 9:52pm
custard cream
Woman with 600 bedrooms escapes 'bedroom tax'

An elderly London woman who lives in social housing accommodation with 600 bedrooms will not have her housing subsidy cut although she has 599 spare bedrooms. From April social housing tenants will...

roybland 08.02.13 9:29pm
Traces of the Chinese Year of the Horse found in the Year of the Rooster

Gung hei fat choi!...

Ian Searle 08.02.13 8:27pm
Racehorse found to contain only 80% horse

The horse racing association has launched an urgent investigation following a routine test which discovered that a three year old race horse due to compete in this year's Grand National contains only...

Underconstruction 08.02.13 8:10pm
Global match fixing scandal - Grimsby FC 'unlikeley to be implicated' claim 0
custard cream 08.02.13 8:04pm
custard cream