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Strictly don't come, dancing 5
Screenie 01.11.11 2:23pm
Screenie
Thermal imaging cameras show no evidence of human life in packed Square Mile 8
Qoxiivi 01.11.11 2:00pm
Qoxiivi
If tornados are Gods fury, then God is mostly furious with mobile homes 0
Dumbnews 01.11.11 1:58pm
Dumbnews
New thermal imaging devices can reveal thermal underwear.

Long johns and long sleeve vests worn by both sexes will be detectable to specially adapted cameras, as a result of advances in heat-detecting and interlock weave technology. Manufacturers and...

0
nickb 01.11.11 1:52pm
nickb
Greek PM called on to resign, "will ask my mum and dad." 0
Boutros 01.11.11 1:46pm
Boutros
Townsend 'misunderstood' after urging 'internet vampires' to groom young talent 0
pinxit 01.11.11 10:41am
pinxit
Miliband slams Devil’s record on making work for idle hands

Labour leader Ed Miliband today criticised the Devil for what he called a ‘woefully inadequate’ record on making work for idle hands. In a speech to business leaders he said ‘many people...

0
ianslat 01.11.11 10:12am
ianslat
Breeder snares rival birds with Sunday roost and all the trimmings

Top breeder Mick Dense faces claims that he used a well stocked loft to lure rival pigeons into an avian 'love pad' during weekend race contests. Accusations include attractive hen birds tethered to...

3
vertical 01.11.11 9:53am
Perks
Savile row over bequest of star's suits 5
medici2471 01.11.11 8:05am
arthurminnit
Greece's credit rating adjusted to FU2 1
Griffin 01.11.11 7:44am
tedweasel
Goths enjoy 'casual' clothes day on Halloween 2
thackaray 01.11.11 7:40am
tedweasel
Squatting criminalization will cause havoc say toilet attendants 0
tedweasel 01.11.11 7:29am
tedweasel
Bouncers to end piracy

The shipping industry has announced today that it is going to employ nightclub bouncers on ships in an attempt to finally bring piracy to an end. The news comes just days after the Prime Minister...

0
Psycadelic Squirrel 01.11.11 6:49am
Psycadelic Squirrel
St Paul's camp, claim gay clergy 4
medici2471 01.11.11 2:50am
Textbook
Hackers thwarted by discovery that Government had 'nothing worth nicking'. 0
Boutros 01.11.11 1:06am
Boutros
DoE cancels meeting with multi-cultural environmentalists because of 'cold'

The Duke of Edinburgh has had to pull out of an official engagement in Italy because of a cold, which manifests itself as an unexpected bout of 'racist tics' The Duke was due to be attending a...

1
Perks 01.11.11 12:25am
dvo4fun
Who to attend London Conference on UK cyber attacks 3
medici2471 01.11.11 12:21am
dvo4fun
Cows on Indian Grand Prix circuit make for "challenging" race

The inaugural Indian Grand Prix was a major success as an event. The drivers universally praised the layout of the 3.2-mile 16-turn circuit, and all agreed that swerving to avoid sacred cows...

1
Danny 01.11.11 12:10am
BabyDinosaur
As World economy declines, Robert Peston's smugness grows.

Mmmooooore soon...

1
Perks 31.10.11 10:23pm
St Paul's protestor complains there's nowhere to plug in her straighteners. 1
dominic_mcg 31.10.11 10:22pm
Dean of St Paul's resigns as his position becomes untentable 2
medici2471 31.10.11 9:17pm
medici2471
St Paul resigns

In a shock development, first century saint, Paul (AKA Saul Tarsus), has resigned. "I've been thinking about it for some time.", explained the saint via a schoolgirl's dream and a face in a puddle,...

5
apepper 31.10.11 7:50pm
apepper
Police station steps to become more dangerous

Accidental falls down police station steps are set to rise, as health and safety regulations in the force are eased. Falling down stairs in police custody reached a high in the 1980’s, as the...

7
nickb 31.10.11 7:24pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Female royals allowed to inherit male baldness under new law. 0
nickb 31.10.11 6:20pm
nickb
"Labour has left us with a 'Fine mess'" says Cameron

Up to £25 per week in Court fines will be deducted from offenders' Benefits; the government's swift response to the summer rioting, due to come swiftly into effect, sometime in late 2013. Speaking...

5
dvo4fun 31.10.11 6:17pm
Poundland wins Unesco seat vote

Unesco has granted Poundland a vote. This is seen as the first step towards full recognition as a country. The move has been opposed by 99p Land; "They think they're up market, but 99p Land is...

0
apepper 31.10.11 4:50pm
apepper
7 billion people 'probably all claiming benefits in the UK' - Daily Mail 5
ianslat 31.10.11 4:35pm
dvo4fun
Health conscious trick-or-treaters demand candy be organic 0
Dumbnews 31.10.11 3:48pm
Dumbnews
Self-immolation branded unenvironmentally friendly protest suicide method

When budhist nun Tanzin Wangmo doused herself in petrol in a busy Tibetan market square and set herself alight, it was the last straw for watching concerned environmentalist Fortescue Alstruther....

3
Ironduke 31.10.11 2:54pm
dvo4fun
Palestinians get EuroVision Song Contest vote

The people of Palestine are to get a vote in the EuroVision song contest. The move has been critised by many other countries, fearing they will only ever give twelve points to their friends and...

0
Perks 31.10.11 2:41pm
Perks