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Shock! fat Jean found in McDonalds. 0
wilkieone 16.03.12 4:35pm
Stars visible in night sky

for the first itme in thousands of years, stars never seen before will now be visible to the naked eye in our skies over the next few nights. USA, Nasa and the Uk have reached a joint agreement to...

wilkieone 16.03.12 4:32pm
Search engine 'BURGLE' launched

NedWeb, a web consultancy engaged by the Home Office to develop software that allows victims of crime to meet and confront the criminals who victimised them, has launched a new search engine called...

weematt 16.03.12 3:30pm
US/UK "special relationship" soured over regifting error

White House sources last night revealed that the table tennis table which UK Prime Minister David Cameron had given as an official gift to US President Barack Obama had been found to be still...

Nails UK 16.03.12 3:27pm
Nails UK
Terry Pratchett "can't remember if he supports euthanasia any more" 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:19pm
Nails UK
World’s fattest man collapses and forms black hole

Keith Martin, at 58 stone (369 kg) the world’s heaviest man, collapsed yesterday in his bedroom forming a small black hole. One of his carers, Carmen Furbita, described how the tragedy unfolded....

Nails UK 16.03.12 3:16pm
Nails UK
'Same sock' marriages will cure odd sock problems, scientists claim. 1
Not Amused 16.03.12 3:14pm
Not Amused
Eastenders measles jab storyline causes rash of complaints 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:14pm
Nails UK
New earth-like planet discovered at car boot sale 2
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:10pm
Nails UK
'I fucked your phone', Russell Brand tells photographer 0
jp1885 16.03.12 3:06pm
Classical Brit Awards: Andre Rieu accused of fiddling result 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:04pm
Nails UK
Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tool after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial...

jp1885 16.03.12 2:22pm
Chief Druid announces shock resignation

Aegberd Williams the controversial archdruid of Glastonbury startled the religious community today with the announcement that he will give up his role to take up the position as Master of St Olaf...

Lemon difficult 16.03.12 2:16pm
Lemon difficult
Hacking latest: Lord Leveson arrested.

Lord Justice Leveson was arrested late in the afternoon just as he was returning from horseriding near his Chipping Norton mansion. It is understood that he had been out riding with a group of...

weematt 16.03.12 1:51pm
Richard Dawkins to be new Archbishop of Canterbury

The general synod of the Church of England is expected to approve Richard Dawkins as the new head of the Church of England. A spokesman explained; "Whereas most of the candidates prevaricated over...

apepper 16.03.12 1:14pm
Ryanair win contract to supply Cameron with Eire-Force One jet 0
charlies_hat 16.03.12 1:04pm
Did United and City throw Europa Cup to concentrate on title race?

No. they were beaten fair and square. Now move on...

Boutros 16.03.12 1:01pm
Osborne - 50% rate cut - "Champagne's not getting any cheaper".

More [i]hic[/i] soon...

ianrbland 16.03.12 12:52pm
pere floza
Cameron in court after lost luggage claim on Air-Force one.

The Prime Minister, Mr. David Cameron and his Wife Samantha are to be taken to court by his travel insurers after submitting a fraudulent claim for lost luggage after flying on Air-Force one....

ianrbland 16.03.12 12:19pm
Archbishop of Canterbury quits in protest at treatment of Russell Brand

Dr Rowan Williams has resigned as Archbishop of Canterbury in protest at the 'heavy-handed' treatment of Russell Brand by the US police, Lambeth Palace has announced. Dr Williams, 61, is said to...

The Paper Ostrich 16.03.12 11:25am
The Paper Ostrich
Crowd in shock as Carrie Oakey finally turns up for a gig. More soon... 0
ianrbland 16.03.12 11:14am
God accepts Archbishop's resignation but demands he clears his altar at once 0
Mandy Lifeboat 16.03.12 11:13am
Mandy Lifeboat
Sequal to Dustin Hoffmans HBO Drama Luck, to be titled "Dogfood and glue"

Another program where gamblers can winalot!...

Iamthestig 16.03.12 11:08am
Birthdays banned at Scotland Yard following fat police survey

Possession of illegal substances now to include 'cake'...

kimllfixit 16.03.12 11:01am
Harry Redknapp being considered for Archbishop of Canterbury vacancy. 0
The Nage 16.03.12 10:44am
The Nage
'Jaunt Man Cameron' Gets An Earfull From Cleggy.....

."How come I have to do the housework while you swan off on another easy jaunt? Mr Fake Tan Man!"...

Jesse Bigg 16.03.12 10:26am
Jesse Bigg
Long term unemployed to get positions in Coalition Government

In a further bid to reduce unemployment levels the government has announced a new policy of creating new, but meaningless positions within the coalition government and appointing some of the longer...

ianrbland 16.03.12 9:38am
Tories trump Labour jobs pledge with a job a uniform and a rifle 0
yussle 16.03.12 9:10am
Husband awarded D- in DIY assessment, takes-up DIY

Despite promising to undertake the vast array of DIY tasks assigned by his wife, avid golfer Andy Ariston has been awarded a D- by his wife for the pathetic progress made in the tasks and the...

antharrison 16.03.12 8:06am
Pips will pop, advise surgeons 0
Immunis 16.03.12 7:41am