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Libyan Civial War to be remade by Micheal Bay "shorter and more violent". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

At least it'll be over more quickly...

James Burton (44) of Widnes asks for EU bail out 0
simonjmr 4 years
Coke drops Rooney, he's immediately picked up by Granny Smith 0
simonjmr 4 years
Elvis returns to Earth after Sunday Sport ceases publication 2
jp1885 4 years

Music legend and king of rock ‘n’ roll Elvis Presley has made a sensational return to the limelight today, following the demise of sensationalist tabloid newspaper the Sunday Sport and partner...

Isle of Wight braces itself for flares to drainpipes switchover 6
jp1885 4 years

With the long anticipated switchover from flares and bell-bottoms to the more up-to-date drainpipe scheduled for tomorrow, residents of the Isle of Wight have only a few hours before their current...

Perceived importance of location, location, location... 1
Screenie 4 years

leads to calls for quantum housing...

Branson publicity machine designed to scrape the bottom 8
beau-jolly 4 years
Thorntons accused of using sweet shop labour 5
beau-jolly 4 years
Timeshare tragedy as mad matador mauls mascot 0
fernandomando 4 years

Bernardino the Bull, the mascot of the children’s club at a popular timeshare resort in Mallorca, was brutally slain mid hokey-cokey by an out of work matador who had fatally erred in his bovine...

Crowds Tell Osborne To "Give Us Something Harder Next Time" 2
Textbook 4 years

Thousands of protestors stormed London yesterday to let the government know that they were unhappy with the proposed spending cuts. "They're right soft these cuts are" said protestor George...

Royal Wedding Build Up "Celebrities Behind Closed Doors" Special with Neil Sean 0
thisisall1word 4 years * Diminutive Pop Princess Kylie Minogue has no plans to attend the Royal celebrations this April; "I...

Theists Threaten Strike Unless Universe Improves Dramatically 0
Textbook 4 years

Believers around the world have threatened to down scriptures after yet another round of negotiation prayers resulted in complete silence from God. "He's just trying to freeze us out and hope we...

Body in ploughed field. Police say its their most harrowing case ever 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
OED changes definition of 'comedy' to include Lenny Henry 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Man with large biro and pencil collection... 9
be reasonable 4 years

goes into administration...

Intense pleasure as young lady looks for three men in her boat 5
OldThingy 4 years

more coming soon...

4 years,,...

Woman you don't recognise has makeover so you still don't recognise her 5
John Wiltshire 4 years

A woman that no-one has heard of and no-one would recognise has had a makeover to ensure that she stays totally anonymous. Donna Connor, who appeared for 5 seconds in an audition for a fixed TV...

"They said it couldn't be done" says turd polisher 0
beau-jolly 4 years

More swoon...

Berlusconi sex trial adjorned on discovery that Berlusconi was a wax model 0
simonjmr 4 years
US Man arrested for barking at police dog 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

An Ohio police report said 25-year-old Ryan James Stephens was charged with teasing a police dog in the Cincinnati suburb of Mason. Officer Bradley Walker wrote that he heard the dog barking...

Naked soldier story "required punch line" 0
beau-jolly 4 years

When thieves broke into a house in Salford in the middle of the night, little did they expect that the owner was as hard as nails. Chasing his stolen car down the road, while still naked, he punched...

Joan Collins Reveals Threesome With Gandhi and Rock Hudson 0
rikkor 4 years

The superannuated sex kitten recalls "I felt like an untouchable" during the long-ago romp at Beverly Hills' Chateau Marmont...

Anglia Ruskin launches new 'Philosophies of Microsoft' 0
MagnusOpum 4 years

The university today announced that as of 2011 the course, fully titled 'Philosophies of Microsoft and the increase in thought experimentation linked to Office applications', will be offered to all...

Outrage as universities charge as much as they were told they could. More soon. 1
MC One R 4 years
Chelsea to erect statue of Fernando Torres at Stamford Bridge 3
MC One R 4 years

A spokesman for the club said "we admit we are jumping on the bandwagon, but we realised we had an individual who has been as irrelevant to Chelsea, and who has spent even less time in close...

Hunting of Noel Edmonds to be curbed in push to preserve leather trouser stocks. 0
SingingHinny 4 years

Animal conservationists are calling for a quota system to be enforced upon Noel Edmonds hunters after a survey by the WWF revealed that the species is facing over-predation from leather poachers. ...

Robert Langdon Joins 'NO to AV' Campaign 0
pineapple incident 4 years

Fictional Professor of Religious Iconography, Robert Langdon, has announced his support for the 'NO to AV' Campaign amidst fears that numbers would over-complicate and dilute the Westminster...

Bryan Ferry recovering after nazi turn. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
4 years

To count as one of your '5 a day', though not to be eaten with meat sausages...