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Yorkshire Ripper defends Savile's reputation in new Sabatier ad 0
Paddy Berzinski 06.11.12 7:15pm
Paddy Berzinski
BBC to launch reality show: If I were a celebrity I wouldn't be here! More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 06.11.12 7:11pm
ITV to air "I'm a constituent, get me a new MP." 1
Boutros 06.11.12 7:10pm
Rebel RC Priests to star in "I'm a celibate get me out of here" 0
nickb 06.11.12 6:45pm
United States votes in neck and redneck contest. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.11.12 6:39pm
‘Can we have some of the money for proper goalposts’ ask Tower Hamlet residents

Residents in the London Borough of Tower Hamlets are said to be furious after plans by their local cash-strapped council to sell a Henry Moore sculpture would leave them without a decent pair of...

Gerontius 06.11.12 6:13pm
Tom Jones refuse to team up with Sex Bomb collaborator claiming Mousse T ache 1
simonjmr 06.11.12 6:01pm
Nick Clegg has pulled out of the remainder of the 2012-15 political season

Reigning Lib Dem leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has pulled out of the remainder of the 2012-15 political season because of "personal issues", and his manager has warned he may not return...

simonjmr 06.11.12 4:52pm
Groupie sues the 1970s for pop stars’ sexual indifference...

Karen Smith is suing the 1970s for damage to her self-esteem, due to the sexual indifference of the pop stars of the day, many of them household names. Now 57, she remembers the seventies like they...

Tripod 06.11.12 4:12pm
Constituents have whip-round to buy Nadine Dorries one-way ticket to the jungle. 0
Tripod 06.11.12 4:05pm
“Teletubbies the Movie” in fight to remove 18 certificate.

It’s disaster for the long-anticipated Teletubbies screen epic following the awarding of an 18 certificate effectively meaning only those aged 15 to 17 are likely to see it. The movie is loosely...

Boutros 06.11.12 2:39pm
"Beckham a bit thick” voted worst-kept secret of 2012... 0
Tripod 06.11.12 2:36pm
Hospital operations abandoned after rat fails enhanced CRB check 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.11.12 2:31pm
Duncan Biscuit
BBC went digital in '70s claims Fingerbobs 0
medici2471 06.11.12 2:29pm
Media switch to blanket coverage of Slovenian Presidential election ...

on November 11th. Make a note in your diaries folks...

Kramaring 06.11.12 2:20pm
US Election latest: Dead heat now “almost a certainty”

At first it was too close to call. Now, as 140 million Americans start casting their votes, pollsters have finally agreed that a dead heat is by far the likeliest outcome. “This scenario in...

nickb 06.11.12 2:03pm
India and Pakistan on brink of new conflict over rights to wear cashmere

Fears of renewed tensions between India and Pakistan were sparked today, as diplomatic talks over the rights to wear cashmere broke down once again. The luxury goat’s wool, prized for its...

D_Woolley 06.11.12 12:55pm
Wife forgives husband’s ‘Porno’ past

A man known as ‘Porno’ by his football mates had some explaining to do after his wife found out about his nickname, three years into their marriage. Fearing further revelations about his sordid...

Midfield Diamond 06.11.12 11:48am
Midfield Diamond
Waterhouse accused of 'not going far enough' with abuse probe

More soon, no doubt...

Gerontius 06.11.12 11:19am
Dick Everyman
Dyslexic Dairy farmer cuts phone lines to prevent spread of BT

(just a one liner)...

Rowly 06.11.12 10:51am
Choice of three moustaches to be issued to celebrities to maintain anonymity

In the wake of recent sex scandals celebrities will be issued with a choice of three moustaches that can be deployed to maintain their anonymity and privacy. The three "taches" offered are The...

simonjmr 06.11.12 10:47am
Badgers to be introduced to eat roots of diseased Ash trees

Foresters have Set up a re-introduction programme...

Rowly 06.11.12 10:26am
Britain’s oldest man still waiting for BT Infinity

Britain’s oldest man is celebrating his 110th birthday, whilst continuing to wait for BT to sort out his wireless broadband service. Reg Nixon, from Cromley in Derbyshire, first got a leaflet...

Darkbill 2.0 06.11.12 10:13am
'Must ash trees be destroyed to prevent the spread of disease?' asks MP 3
Scroat 06.11.12 9:52am
US baby kissing ring exposed

America is in shock today as a major baby kissing ring involving prominent politicians was exposed on CBS documentary Newsnight. The scandal reaches across both party and racial lines, with...

Yikes 06.11.12 9:43am
Torvill and Dean expose Nottingham paedophile rink 0
Dick Everyman 06.11.12 9:08am
Dick Everyman
Romney Votes Obama "For The Hell Of It"

Apparently tired of being characterised as a stuffed shirt with no spontaneity or sense of humour, presidential challenger Willard "Mitt" Romney has declared that he voted for incumbent opponent...

Textbook 06.11.12 8:35am
Investigation into drug abuse by seabirds leaves no tern unstoned 2
Smart Alex 06.11.12 5:35am
Most addicts still ignore dangers of underdosing warn British homeopaths 0
Username 06.11.12 5:13am
Care pathway a stairway to heaven, official...

Ooh, it makes me wander...

Dick Everyman 06.11.12 12:32am