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Mourinho can't think of anything he's more special than anymore. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Jose the creator of the Universe coming soon...

Men left reeling as study finds they still don't do enough 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Women desperately need their partner to be more than breadwinner, sperm donor, childminder, housemaid, and occasional sex-buddy to stop them feeling so over-worked and under-appreciated, says...

Panic on streets of London as big round hot yellow thing appears in sky. 0
pinxit 3 years
Heart attack survivors avoid sex, for rest of day 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Also avoid using whipped cream during sex...

Paul McCartney in dispute with Red Bull over who gave us Wings. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More(..ll of Kintyre..) Soon. http://musicmoz.org/img/editors/sounddude/wings.jpg...

Dolphins Once Stalked The Earth- Then They Got Smart 1
rfreed 3 years

New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and...

Bono in life-saving op to remove ingrowing sunglasses. 0
pinxit 3 years

ER er, more soon...

Capello fears for team morale " John Terry is World Cup willy". 0
pinxit 3 years
Jordan to put up as candidate for leader of the Labour Party 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'I've got the tits', said the coy,unassuming, young lady who hides from the press...

Scientist Creates Artificial God 2
afternoonslow 3 years

In a world first, a maverick Top International Scientist Craig Venter, has made a synthetic God from scratch., The creation of a new God which has been nicknamed 'Synthia', paves the way for...

Nick Robinson to be given place in next all - Tory cabinet 0
PluckyMunky 3 years
Bono gets Spinal Tap. Morose Soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Prison population reaches record high 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years

Thanks to readily available heroin...

Panic at Devon County Show 0
Kernowpete 3 years

There were scenes of mass panic at the Devon county show today when a rumour went round that a synthetic life form was stalking the showground. Peace returned when the organisers assured the visitors...

DFS to recall sofas as a design fault means they may not be Darlek proof. 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Tories propose marriage tax break for the new coalition 0
dan_waterworth 3 years
Emergency operation removes Bono's head from his arse. 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Entertainment News 0
Kernowpete 3 years

[u]ON NOW[/u] Westminster theatre. "Dave n Me"--- a heartwarming tale of two posh types who find out they have far more in common than they could ever have dreamed. "A triumph"-liberal world...

Study finds that what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

David Cameron praised this major, international study, funded by various European governments, of 23,390 geese and gander. Eighty five percent of the birds who expressed a preference, agreed with the...

Thai Catholic priests sent in to lift red-shirts 5
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Guess who I am? 1
clockwork apple 3 years

Im the annoying person who always puts leaflets and other junkmail through your front door even thow youve got a sign on it saying NO JUNKMAILand do you no what?theres nothing anyone can do to stop...

UK troops to go under US command.. 1
MrChigleysAunt 3 years

fewer troops soon...

Im scared of flowers! 2
clockwork apple 3 years
Home Secretary says "I'm no homeopath" 1
andhrimnir 3 years
And flares frighten me 3
clockwork apple 3 years
Have I already posted that Alzheimer's joke? 0
Doctor Moptop 3 years
Theresa May appoints Wogan as Rug Tsar 0
pinxit 3 years

Following a string of celebrity appointments, the Home Secretary today announced that Sir Terry Wogan would lead a crackdown on the illegal rug trade. A beaming Sir Tel said, " It's a subject close...

BP last gasp effort to fix leak by concreting over it scuppered by builders 0
Basil_B 3 years

BP's last desperate hope to plug the oil leak in the gulf by filling it full of concrete has been put back ' to a week thursday love ' said Mr Trevor Smith of builders Smith & son of Basildon.,...

Shakin' Stevens to be new face of Epilepsy Society Ad Campaign. 6
pinxit 3 years
Jesus denies playing God 1
Des Custard 3 years

At a press conference this morning, Jesus Christ denied that he had played God when performing some of his best known miracles. Jesus said that the feeding of the five thousand, walking on water,...