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Fans furious as second Chesney Hawkes is discovered... 12
Screenie 4 years
Balloon industry fears redundancies as plans to restrict inflation are unveiled 1
Screenie 4 years

Providers of bouncy castles are also deeply concerned but a government spokesman stated that people needed to 'stop blowing things out of all proportion'...

News Biscuit International apologised today. 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years

Not for hacking, but for publishing imaginary stories for several years...

Government unveil plans for a dribbling, incontinent workforce 7
suepersonic 4 years

The government have unveiled their plans for a dribbling, incontinent workforce by raising the State Pension Age to 95. This will mean the upper class, with their super-plus pension plans, can still...

SAS to launch own brand poo bags for people who pick up after dogs or commandos 2
ronseal 4 years

SAS poo bags, used to clear up evidence that member of the crack unit are in enemy territory, are to be launched as a commercial spin off aimed at dog owners and anyone else who has to clean up poo....

Truth is "on the increase" due to Blair being out of the country and... 1
deskpilot3 4 years

because the Daily Sport has ceased publication...

Sunbeds set to go 'ping' when the user is done. 3
Basil_B 4 years
Child used by kidnapper as mattress found to be severely orthopaedic 0
Screenie 4 years
Attempt to beat world gangbang record begins... 0
Screenie 4 years

more to cum...

Actors strike as protest to arts cuts. No-one notices. 2
beau-jolly 4 years

Leading actors including Sir Patrick Stewart and Samuel West are among those protesting against arts cuts., Sir Pat flounced, “We don’t know where the axe will fall next but it is unlikely to...

Government to create 1000s of jobs as MPs give up directorships. 1
martin2381 4 years
Social networking site 'off your face' book launched... 11
be reasonable 4 years

this enables people to share photos of themselves when drunk and to exchange mindless drivel about their tedious, unimportant livesoh, hang on, hasn't that been done?...

Court case halted as Rooney refuses to swear oath 2
Screenie 4 years

When speaking to the BBC news cameras he stated, 'I wasn't going to make that fucking mistake again. Oh bollocks'...

Telegraph: Camerons enjoy romantic holiday in Granada... 2
be reasonable 4 years

the Galaxy's in for a service...

Samuel L Jackson asked to read bible passage from Pulp FIction at Royal Wedding 1
simonjmr 4 years

There's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name...

NoW journalist with bad cough admits hacking 0
beau-jolly 4 years
BBC to update another old drama: Dr. Finely's Facebook 1
beau-jolly 4 years

Moorland soon, Janet...

Bicycle giant makes wheel big decision 5
Screenie 4 years

Bicycle manufacturing giants Apollo have announced that, from January next year, the wheels on their bikes will be moulded out of a single piece of plastic as opposed to the traditional metal prongs....

New Grand National fence the John McCririck sideburn to be introduced this year 0
Basil_B 4 years
Birmingham hairdresser accused of grooming 22 girls 0
beau-jolly 4 years

Did I miss something here?...

William and Kate announce bank holiday for divorce date in June 2016. 6
Basil_B 4 years

News broke from Buckingham Palace today of Prince William and Kate Middleton's divorce date which will be the 15th of June 2016. The palace issued a statement declaring that in view of modern royal...

Striking Jobcentre staff want unemployed "not to cross picket lines by working" 0
simonjmr 4 years
Track pants only permissible clothing in "No Fly Zone" 2
Nick McCarr 4 years
Fears for the UK economy as bank holidays for Jordan's weddings are announced 1
Screenie 4 years

'It would be like going back to the four day week' claimed a sceptic...

NHS reforms ‘threat to medical dramas’ 0
ianslat 4 years

GPs have again called for the Government to abandon its plans to reform the NHS as it emerged that under the shake-up they would assume responsibility for writing all TV medical dramas. ‘I don’t...

Fears that under-18 sun bed ban may cripple the Essex economy 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Pointer controlled just by thought - revealed as a penis 0
simonjmr 4 years
Wallace and Gromit to sue for breach of copyright over paraplegic robot trousers 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Women who work at Britain's naked computer company say they have nothing to wear 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Nazi bomber found in Channel‘victim of UK’s illegal 1940 No Fly zone’ says Libya 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years