The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|2012 Mascot Designer Wins Chemistry Nobel Prize 'For Distilling Pure Bullshit'||0||
|Grateful British to advise Germans on how to run car industry||1||
||Des Custard||3 years|
Following the implementation of essential legislation to curtail the ability of financial services companies to make money, Britain is planning to show its gratitude with a series of initiatives to...
|Alan Deddicoat becomes Labour Spokesman as Voice of Ed Balls||0||
|2012 mascots cut, replaced by poison & variety theatre - Hemlock & Vaudeville||0||
|2012 olympic mascot designer swears that they weren't designed by his children.||0||
|'Poundland' to be renamed 'One Pound and 14p Land' if VAT goes up||0||
|Pakistani clerics set up Facebook group, "1 million for banning Facebook"||0||
|1832 Reform Act to be repealed||5||
|Parents of missing rebelious teen in emotional appeal for him to stay missing||0||
|Bradford man emerges after much plastic surgery to announce "I am Al Qaeda"||1||
"Its no laughing matter" explained Mr Al Qaeda, a third generation Bradford Muslim "I had a little newsagents, Al Qaeda News, and it was constantly in the press, fire-bombed, and customers driven...
|Cheating Chancellor Summed Up||0||
||Doctor Moptop||3 years|
On paper George Osborne had impeccable economic credentials. The 40 something-year-old won a place at Oxford University with an an offer to repaper all the dons' studies free gratis (paste included)....
|Clare Short denies continuing 'bungs' to LibDems.||0||
|Police detained a man whom they believe put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp.||4||
||Ian Searle||3 years|
He’s has also asked for three other offences to be taken into consideration; putting the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong, the bop in the bop sh-bop sh-bop, and the dip in the dip da dip da dip. ...
|10 Downing Street to Re-Open as Chinese Take-Away (under New Management)||0||
Since niether PM David Cameron nor Deputy Clegg wish to move downmarket, number ten Downing Street has been sold off to help repay the National Debt and is to reopen as a Chinese Takeaway (Mandarin...
|Comedians to help environment by recycling Clegg/Cameron relationship jokes||0||
|German ban on shorts-selling hits Lederhosen makers.||0||
|Sherlock Holmes v Predator panned by critics as not inkeeping with Conan Doyle||0||
Criticism that the follow up to the new Sherlock Holmes movie is going to far from the original Arthur Conan Doyle books seems justified in view of the title of the follow up film due out in the...
|Second Balls brother urged to stand for sake of 'fatuous tabloid knob gags'||1||
An informal coalition of tabloid journalists and copy writers have made a public plea for the shadowy younger Balls brother David Balls to enter the Labour leadership contest in the interests of...
|Murray told "you're crap and you know it" by new Wimbledon poet||1||
|Wimbledon’s new poet struggling to make ‘exits early’ rhyme with ‘Andy Murray’||3||
||Duncan Biscuit||3 years|
|Facebook release Openbook, where every member is friends with everyone else||0||
|Balls up for labour leadership||0||
|Linda McCartney Foods to launch vegetarian alternative to Spam e-mails.||1||
||Ian Searle||3 years|
|David Sullivan unveils plans for West Ham||2||
David Sullivan today confirmed that his plans to turn around West Ham for the 2010/11 season include a number of top signings. His targets include Linzi Dawn Mackenzie, Cathy Barry, Alicia...
|Ed Balls' suffers personal injury during Gedling mis-spelling error||0||
|All media to get TV style credits||1||
The European Commission for Equality ruled earlier today that “shameless self-publicising is not the sole right of arts graduates working within television and movie media”. This historic...
|Pfizer's decision to axe 8000 jobs a bitter pill for employees to swallow.||4||
|Crap drivers forced to carry red and white flags||0||
Under new proposals to improve road safety during the summer season when traffic levels on Britain's roads peak, the government has rolled out plans under which the stupidest drivers in England will...
|Argentina offered Isle of Wight sovereignty in compromise move||1||
|IOW fisherman’s tales of “magical land to the north” treated with scepticism||0||
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