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Scotland to be given independence until the wind dies down. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.01.12 2:02pm
Breast implant complaints double in size overnight 0
charlies_hat 03.01.12 12:33pm
Dry cat food subtly belittles cat 9
nickb 03.01.12 12:25pm
Major Clanger
10 day old Turkey now too tough for main meals, admits Housewife Mrs. N Hubbard

After a long battle trying to maximise the meat life from her 4kg Turkey, Slough Housewife Mrs. N Hubbard has had to face the music and throw her leftovers away to avoid a minor uprising within her...

Iamthestig 03.01.12 12:24pm
Dermatologists beat dentists by the skin of their teeth. 0
kimllfixit 03.01.12 11:55am
Shadow cabinet deeply worried by call to remove plastic tits. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 03.01.12 11:35am
John Ffitch-Rucker
The Izzard vs Fry Xmas TV domination battle to continue into New Year 0
simonjmr 03.01.12 11:18am
CMO recommends fake tits to be removed immediately. TOWIE cast worried 0
simonjmr 03.01.12 11:11am
Scientist ‘grows’ sperm in petri dish...

after colleague suddenly opens door to laboratory, causing him to rapidly shut laptop and pull lab coat tight, saying ‘cold in here, isn’t it’?...

John Ffitch-Rucker 03.01.12 2:22am
Psycadelic Squirrel
John Lewis finally displays last turkey in the shop 0
Nick McCarr 03.01.12 1:52am
Nick McCarr
Duke of Edinburgh awarded Duke of Edinburgh award

Surprise honour for Duke...

apepper 03.01.12 12:59am
Parents dismayed that "The Iron Lady" is not a sequel to "Iron Giant"

Many children and their parents have left cinemas in disgust after discovering that the new Meryl Streep film is not a sequel to the much loved 1999 Warner Brothers animated feature., One mother,Mrs...

virtuallywill 02.01.12 11:53pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Apple admits their webcams may judge you when not in use 0
gaijintendo 02.01.12 11:50pm
Miss Marple stymied after alleged murderer refuses to admit responsibility

Noted amateur detective Miss Marple, from St Mary Mead, Downshire, was left somewhat embarrassed and confused after a murder suspect confronted with significant evidence of his guilt refused to...

bonjonelson 02.01.12 11:22pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Ed Miliband gutted that Santa didn't bring him any new policies.

Or a personality., Again...

deskpilot3 02.01.12 10:47pm
Makers of low energy light bulbs take dim view of criticism

More to follow...

apepper 02.01.12 10:02pm
True scale of faulty ego implants revealed

New evidence shows that millions of ego implants inserted into the heads of celebrities and children in recent decades may be faulty. Originally designed to prolong the careers of celebs as their...

Des Custard 02.01.12 9:46pm
Knighted Jonathan Ive critical of design of Queen's dubbing sword

Jonathan Ive, Apple's head of design who was knighted in the New Year Honours list, is said to be critical of the design of the ceremonial sword that will be used by the Queen to confer the honour on...

roybland 02.01.12 9:39pm
Great boobs of fire. Implants latest.

More to follow...

Baubo 02.01.12 9:32pm
Duke of Edinburgh marks Scott expedition with epic walk to church

The Duke of Edinburgh has been applauded by spectators as he walked 400m to church for a New Year's Day service.,  , 'It was marvellous,' said Janice Hill (23) who with hundreds of others...

roybland 02.01.12 9:04pm
Creationist urges police to charge him despite complete 'lack of evidence'

A creationist has confused the whole of the judicial system by insisting the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) push forward and charge him with 'threatening behaviour' despite a complete lack of...

Perks 02.01.12 8:46pm
"Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass are big fat gayers" inspiration for twitter

A class mate of Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass today claims that his graffiti in public toilets that "Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass are big fat gayers" was the inspiration for twitter. More soon...

simonjmr 02.01.12 6:51pm
Shoplifting voucher gets 30% off sentence and chance to redeem itself 1
kga6 02.01.12 4:40pm
Drag racers insist stilettos not a safety risk 5
nickb 02.01.12 4:37pm
Germany Mulls Over 'Heroic' Third Attempt at European Domination

Germany was pondering invading Poland once again in a 'Back to Basics' Foreign Policy that has enraged her neighbouring countries. "We live in a time of great social and economic uncertainty and...

SimonJJames 02.01.12 4:36pm
David Cameron: Country can survive despite Olympics and Diamond Jubilee

In a new year message, David Cameron calls on Britons to show a 'stiff upper lip' in the face of the 2012 challenge of the Olympic Games and the Queen's Diamond Jubliee.,  , 'The government will...

roybland 02.01.12 4:25pm
All ELC and CBeebies CDs to come with Parental Warning stickers

"this product may cause parents to go insane, when played constantly" More soon...

simonjmr 02.01.12 4:04pm
Hotpoint washer's new 'Hydro-thermal' technology. So, hot water then. Who knew?

It's a fucking washing machine! What did we expect? Cold water and stones?...

dvo4fun 02.01.12 4:00pm
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Charged in Connection To Life Insurance Scam 0
sredni vashta 02.01.12 3:46pm
sredni vashta
Rupert Murdoch's twitter account hacked. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.01.12 1:38pm