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Vampire retires after getting too long in the tooth. 2
Ian Searle 23.09.12 4:10pm
Russell launches his own Brand of sex

Not even his hair is straight. A Skoob1999 & Martin Shuttlecock joke...

Skoob1999 23.09.12 3:50pm
Tory goes for wanker management classes, pleb! 8
Skoob1999 23.09.12 3:11pm
Idioting widespreads? Looey Vinton moron labels are must! 2
youbuyitnow 23.09.12 2:52pm
Met Office upgrades 'Weather Warning' warning from amber to red

A severe 'weather warning' warning across the South West tonight has been issued by the Met Office. The new alert is in addition to the torrential downpours of forecasts with strong words already...

Ian Searle 23.09.12 2:44pm
Ian Searle
Chinese prisoner in Solitary kills 300,000 sperm in Wan king massacre 0
burnmybridges 23.09.12 2:16pm
World's Oldest Frog Finally Croaks. 2
Martin Shuttlecock 23.09.12 1:17pm
Failure of 'Care in the Community' policy demonstrated by queues for new iPhone. 0
Al McHogan 23.09.12 1:07pm
Al McHogan
Scientists discover 2+2 is actually 5

Not 4 as previously believed...

Skoob1999 23.09.12 12:46pm
Ken Dodd's Dad dies dogging 1
andydog 23.09.12 11:33am
After picture emerges of pregnant soldier,Brigadier asks for 100 such men

that would have a go at anything...

burnmybridges 23.09.12 11:30am
Oldest lie in the world - not true say researchers

"The cheques in the post.." now downgraded to second oldest lie in the world status. The top spot, known for decades by geordie girls to be announced at a special press conference this week...

misterjingles 23.09.12 11:22am
After Japanese man served up his scrotum and and penis to diners,prosecutors

decide to grill whats left of him...

burnmybridges 23.09.12 11:20am
Police nervous as Gordon Ramsay cycles towards Downing Street 8
Yikes 23.09.12 9:48am
Athletes set fire to Olympic tat as film depicts Mo Farah not winning

more later...

virtuallywill 23.09.12 9:40am
Chief Whip row triggers government asterisk shortage

Rebutting claims that Andrew Mitchell yelled “you’re f***** plebs” and “You don’t run the f******* government and you’re a bunch of m**************s!” at Downing Street police officers...

nickb 23.09.12 9:20am
Storm as pictures of Mrs Jesus topless published

More to follow...

apepper 23.09.12 1:12am
Downing Street police demand firearms to repel outsurgents 15
23.09.12 1:04am
Cecilia Gimenez to be the new face of B&Q 0
bonjonelson 22.09.12 11:55pm
Plebs outraged by Met Police linkage 1
antharrison 22.09.12 8:43pm
Martin Shuttlecock
New Chinese ‘sperm extracting’ machine is “better than iPhone 5” say all men

Every man in the world has universally agreed that the Chinese Sanwe SW-3701 ‘sperm extractor’ is the greatest invention ever, unlikely to be surpassed by anything Apple or anyone else is likely...

DustyBinLaden 22.09.12 8:41pm
Islamic extremists targeted by Islamic even more extremists

Violence in Libya escalated as Islamic extremists waving placards were attacked by Islamic even more extremists outraged that the name of the prophet Mohammed was shown in print on their banners....

Actual Size 22.09.12 8:41pm
Otto Jespersen
PPI Claims Advisors To Be Investigated - Reclaim Your PPI Claim Fees Now

The burgeoning industry which has sprouted up around reclaiming PPI payments has itself come under scrutiny by the OFT, following a wave of complaints that people using such services have been ripped...

Martin Shuttlecock 22.09.12 8:40pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Louvre's Islamic Art Wing to remove all Mohammed portraits. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.09.12 5:25pm
Gwent prostitutes told to wear more clothes. Lots more.

Prostitutes in the Welsh county of Gwent have been told to cover up and stop suggestive gyrating in their windows as of next month. Please. As of October 1, the "working girls" will have to abide by...

Squudge 22.09.12 3:50pm
Dsylexic protestor chants 'Death to UAE" 2
Dumbnews 22.09.12 3:08pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Toddler Mauled By Urban Rabbit

The incident happened yesterday teatime in the back garden of a house on the outskirts of Dewsbury. The two year old was said to be shaken by the completely unprovoked attack, and left with some...

Martin Shuttlecock 22.09.12 3:04pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Tory Chief Whip Charged With “Major Violations” After Random Traffic Stop

Conservative minister and Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell has been summoned to appear before Westminster magistrates after he was stopped by officers while riding his bike along Whitehall. Mitchell...

22.09.12 2:40pm
Late Night Screening of Harrison Ford Movie Ignites Amish Fury

A midnight screening of the 1985 American thriller film directed by Peter Weir and starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, Witness, has ignited scenes of violence and rioting throughout the Amish...

22.09.12 2:23pm
Andrew Mitchell arrested for cycling on the pavement. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.09.12 2:06pm