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Money Discovered to be Bits of Meaningless Paper, Plastic 1
RockIsNotNoise 4 years

A triple-dip recession was caused today, as money's worth decreased to nil. The trigger was a debate in Parliament about banking reforms at 12.46pm "We need to reform these banks. Their money" said...

Secondhand Smoke, Makes You Look Secondhandly Cooler, say National Smokers Union 1
RockIsNotNoise 4 years
St. Paul's Cleans Up After Veterans At Blitz Siren Re-enactment Shit Themselves 0
mugwump 4 years
Johnson's Pledge - to make London cleaner, brighter and smear free 0
Trini 4 years
Tube strike "a bally nuisance " to Blitz Re-enactment Society 0
ramblesnake 4 years
Benefits of No Benefit Claims Claimant 0
dirtmaximus 4 years

Daily Express readers around the country were outraged after it was revealed that one single benefit scrounger was costing the taxpayer around £2.5 million a year. Far from being grateful, Charles...

Most of Britain 'completely unaffected' by Tube Strike - claim TFL management 1
R R 4 years

In a bullish statement today, the Managing Director of Transport For London, Sir Tony Gottachauffeuranyway, claimed the strike called by the RMT on The London Underground was an abject failure, as...

One of the Popes most trusted underlings will not make the trip to 0
arrghgarry 4 years

Britain as a story is about to blow that he had over 200 lovers .He has been as labeled as a loose Canon who could blow at anytime...

Point/Counterpoint: Poem About How I Love You/Be Realistic About That Poem 1
RockIsNotNoise 4 years

Poem About How I Love You - [i]James Watford[/i] I can see the stars twinkling in your eyes,, The glowing sun in your smiles,, I could give you the moon,, Anything you desire, You can be my...

London brought to standstill by 'Boris Bike' mechanics' strike 0
nedge 4 years

Millions of Londoners have endured a day of transport chaos amid a strike by mechanics maintaining the capital's fleet of hire bicycles. Staff walked out in two waves on Monday in a row over 800 job...

Record Label Sues Teenager for Illegally Not Buying CD 0
RockIsNotNoise 4 years

You would least expect it. Daniel Simkins, 15, went into BullRing Birmingham's HMV in order to buy some music CDs. He had his eye on an album called [i]Throne to the Wolves[/i] by rock act From First...

Big Brother bosses to run Cameron's Big Society 0
euanc 4 years

Downing Street is due to announce that Endemol, the company behind the Big Brother series, has been asked to deliver the coalition’s flagship Big Society programme. It is understood that the...

"One-Liner for Ticker Supposed to Be Funny," says Man At Computer 0
RockIsNotNoise 4 years
Jupiter vows to sort out religious chaos on return from 2100 year holiday 6
Des Custard 4 years

Jupiter, Father of the Gods, returned from holiday yesterday to find the world in chaos and resolved to get things back in order ‘within weeks’. Number one on his list is to deal with the waves...

Ozzy Osbourne to remake Iron Man as Composite Man 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Your bloated lazy offspring still using ME as an excuse, study finds 5
Gary Stanton 4 years

Despite further evidence that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or ME as it is otherwise known, may be caused by a virus, scientists have warned that a persistent hardcore of fat lazy fuckers are feigning...

Sometimes you don't get stronger, you just take longer to die... 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years

admits Military School of Life...

Bridge builders succeed in changing words of classic song 5
Mrblacker 4 years

For years, [i]Bridge over Troubled Waters[/i] has caused consternation and head-scratching among bridge builders and civil engineers around the globe. Now, thanks to a hefty petition and several...

Google to launch Crumble in bid to break Apple's dominance 0
exigo 4 years
Bruce Forsyth denies age is catching up with him... 0
Iamthestig 4 years

"I only resigned as it means I now have time to watch my favourite programme. The Strictly Come Dancing results show Do you know if I've had my breakfast?"...

Peter749400 4 years Apple enthusiasts faced long queues last night to get their hands on the latest version of the I-pod shuffle, which is designed to be...

Haddicks to replace Codpieces due to falling stocks in the North Sea 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Anger Management group book Tony Blair look-alike for Physical outpouring class 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Teachers begin planning school trips to Iraq in wake of US withdrawal 0
la maga 4 years

Following the withdrawal of US combat troops from Iraq many are now asking whether it is time to start taking schoolchildren to Iraq. Renowned for its ancient history and unique ecosystems, Iraq has...

Beaming Andy Murray Congratulates Winning Opponent 4
Harry Liddon 4 years

The Scotsman was wreathed in smiles in the post-match interview., ‘It wasn’t a great game, he chortled. ‘I was outplayed and the better man won.’, We asked Murray what it was like to crash...

MOD Surveillance Budget Reduced After Agreement Struck With Mysterons 3
mugwump 4 years
Murray cleared in spot-betting inquiry 0
riesler 4 years

"It's a Grand Slam, so he was never going to win anyway"...

Mayor of Peshawar cancels town twinning trip to Cockermouth 1
Phlegm 4 years
Fishermen fall out after cross lines incident as they hook the same fish. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Gorger Michael admits that blowing old men in toilets on hampstead heath 5
arrghgarry 4 years

was the inspiration for his hit "Father Figure"...