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Flashers to face stiff penalties 0
Major Clanger 18.01.12 7:21pm
Major Clanger
Internet to become literate by 2013.

Just as semi-literate bookstore Waterstones, citing a need for "a more versatile and practical spelling in the digital world of URLs and email addresses" loses an apostrophe, enlightened Internet...

Boutros 18.01.12 7:19pm
Major Clanger
Cameron to urge the poor to stop breathing

In an attempt to meet the Kyoto protocol targets on CO2 emissions, David Cameron will call on the poor to stop wasting oxygen and creating unnecessary carbon dioxide. "These people are nothing but a...

grottymonty 18.01.12 7:16pm
Major Clanger
'PC' meteorologist forecasts tricky driving in "Academically Challenged" fog. 7
dvo4fun 18.01.12 7:11pm
Major Clanger
Wogan accused of ripping off dyslexics with high interest loans. More soon. 15
dominic_mcg 18.01.12 7:09pm
Major Clanger
There is a large amount of poop in my butt, Please advise. 2
Dumbnews 18.01.12 7:05pm
Major Clanger
CRB check to include compulsory test on the works of Julia Donaldson

Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that childcare professionals wishing to apply for a CRB check must also ‘demonstrate sufficient knowledge’ on the works of popular author and Children's...

jp1885 18.01.12 7:03pm
Major Clanger
Prostitutes deny palming off clients with inferior service during the recession

More coming oh yes oh yes, yes yes...

Scroat 18.01.12 6:59pm
Major Clanger
12 Dead due to Wikipedia blackout, final toll not yet known

Now in its 13th hour, The blackout of the [url=]English Wikipedia[/url] is proving to have catastrophic consequences. The first victim at 05:00 (GMT) was delivery driver Alex...

Dan Strait 18.01.12 6:58pm
Dan Strait
Parrot sellers in anti-piracy protest

Purveyors of parrots are protesting against proposed anti-piracy laws...

apepper 18.01.12 6:36pm
Boris Island: book now for this latest must-visit holiday destination

Any takers?...

Clarky 18.01.12 6:35pm
Top Gear defend 'cerebral palsy motor skills' special 4
charlies_hat 18.01.12 4:13pm
And the band played 'Nearer My Giglio to Thee' 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 18.01.12 4:03pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Bullied Children Advised To Recite Poetry At Bullies. 1
sredni vashta 18.01.12 1:36pm
Employee suspended for saying ‘Happy New Year’ after Firm’s 12 Day deadline

After automatically saying “Happy New Year” to everyone he had spoken to for the first time since 31st December, office worker Jon Knowles thought nothing of greeting his first caller of the day...

Stan 18.01.12 12:58pm
Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news

After years of attention-hungry maths boffins having hit-and-miss success getting nonsense formulas for 'most depressing day of the year', 'female beauty' and 'Christmas happiness' into the mass...

Golgo13 18.01.12 12:56pm
Standards Laboratory re-calibrates Labour leader as Nanoband

Pico, atto, femto And no, they are not lost Marx Brothers...

DorsetBoy 18.01.12 12:55pm
Elgar Country declares independence

In the latest surprise move for the devolution of the UK, Elgar Country otherwise known as the apple orchards near Malvern has declared independence from the UK crown and government. Though not all...

Immunis 18.01.12 12:54pm
BAFTA nominated silent film could see an end to cinema ban on mobile phones

Uncivil libertarians were cock a hoop last night, after the British Academy of Film and Television Arts nominated The Artist, a silent movie, for an award. "At last, the powers that be have come to...

ronseal 18.01.12 12:52pm
Scientologists admit: "We've been had."

"Holy shit, did we really believe this crap for all these years?" That was the comment yesterday, expressed by Scientology leader Derrick Holmes, that forced millions of Scientologists to admit "I...

hughesroland 18.01.12 12:25pm
Yachting becomes the new Rock(s) & Roll 0
victimms 18.01.12 12:01pm
Ted Heath's Cancelled Folly Makes A Comeback.....

.As Smarmy and Boris and mates can't be bothered to drive up to Luton...

Jesse Bigg 18.01.12 11:23am
Jesse Bigg
Curious schoolboy asks mother: "Why do oysters look like vaginas?" 1
hughesroland 18.01.12 11:07am
Wikipedia blackout forces hundreds of journalists to phone-in sick 2
Duncan Biscuit 18.01.12 10:36am
Oil discovered in Mitt Romney, armed forces despatched to secure the area. 0
simonjmr 18.01.12 10:10am
Police investigate RAM raid at computer chip factory.

"We're running out of memory" says spokesman...

Al McHogan 18.01.12 10:06am
Al McHogan
After watching Stargazing Live, BNP bans members from 'entering black holes' 0
Perks 18.01.12 9:51am
Nick Griffin to black up for 24 hours in protest at US anti-piracy laws

More soon mammy...

Skylarking 18.01.12 9:39am
Armed forces redundancies error sees next-of-kin informed first 0
Duncan Biscuit 18.01.12 9:35am
Duncan Biscuit
Little support for another Boris Johnson 0
Duncan Biscuit 18.01.12 9:34am
Duncan Biscuit