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Velodrome to be converted into a football stafium. 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

Lord Coe issues an appeal for this to be postponed until after the 2012 games...

Egypt still struggling to disperse remaining foreign news reporters from Cairo. 1
flossie mcjava 4 years
Worries that the very wealthy affected by fuel povery 2
virtuallywill 4 years

Ailing Steve Jobs fears his creation of the worlds largest slave labour market 0
4 years

will go unrecogonized...

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan... 0
beau-jolly 4 years

A stately veladrome permit:, Where Coe, the lorded runner, ran, Through budgets measureless to man, Down to a bottomless pit...

No hunting: Except for cyclists. 0
simonjmr 4 years
Fall in pregnancy rates among under-18s 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years

Pregnancies in girls under 18 in England and Wales have fallen to levels not seen since the early 1980s, according to new government figures., A government spokesman blamed this on the ready...

President Obama backs Lord Grade's call for Brucie's Knighthood 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Giraffe clearly visible as Gaddafi denies taking refuge in Kenya 1
Stan 4 years

Troubled Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi’s latest broadcast has done little to quell rumours that he has already left Libya after giraffes and elephants can be seen clearly roaming in the background...

Jacqui Smith reveals her husband likes porn 2
greg various 4 years

Nation now told she married a bloke...

Tribal leadership contest in alternative goat chaos 12
Des Custard 4 years

Leadership contests in a remote Kurdish tribe have been thrown into disarray by the introduction of the ‘alternative goat’ system. ‘It used to be so simple,’ said Amed, a returning officer. ...

Americans offer Gadaffi safe passage.... in a Pan Am jet. 1
MADJEZ 4 years
Message for Tony Blair... 6
riesler 4 years

how's the Middle East peace job going?...

Cameron disapponinted by lack of forests to sell off on trip to Egypt. 5
Ian Searle 4 years

But he is hoping to be able to close down the Library of Alexandra...

Queen wary of Charles led revolt ahead of Jubilee year 0
simonjmr 4 years

Queen Elizabeth II has been watching recent events in North Africa with trepidation as there are fears that a revolt against her 59 year rule, may come from within her family. What we have seen in...

Cameron Cashes In On Middle East Genocide..... 4
Jesse Bigg 4 years

.Takes a load of arm dealers with him on his visit...

World rallies around as white people affected by an earthquake. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Government to introduce 300 page limit for library books 0
evilsuperstar 4 years

The government has today announced what it calls "fair" new plans to cut book stocks and reduce the amount of space required by public libraries by forcing all librarians to weed their stock and...

Aid charities prepare to act as Russian tanks invade Meerkovo . 0
dominic_mcg 4 years

RSPCA peace keeping forces are preparing to send troops to the small, independent state of Meerkovo as Russian tanks and soldiers moved in during the night., Meerkovo today claimed that Russian...

England currently battling with NEDS 0
simonjmr 4 years

The Dutch are furious at antisocial societal elements link...

2012 Olympic Howler 13
4 years

The Metropolitan Police Armed Response Unit confirmed today that all Foreign Olympic Pistol Shooting Competitors will be wrestled to the ground, cuffed, charged and put before a specially convened...

Earl Spencer to give address at Royal Wedding - 'I hate you all!' 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

It has been revealed that Earl Spencer has sensationally been chosen to give the address at the wedding of William and Kate., Documents leaked today show that the royal couple had thought they were...

Barhain seeks death of tinpot dictators - bernie ecclestone cancels GP 1
wolfie 4 years

Pint sized pocket napoleon of pointless car racing and petrol-headed pirelli-smelling pimp of pretty twice-his-size gold diggers, bernie "how the hell did he get to be in charge" ecclestone, has...

Why flattery gets you nowhere. 20
malgor 4 years

It's short for flat battery. More concatenated nouns soon...

Downing Street denies coalition cabinet is turning into "Alice in Wonderland" 0
simonjmr 4 years

Senior Government Officials have today strenously denied that David Cameron has been using Lewis Carroll's novels as the basis for cabinet appointments. Civil Servants have for some time have...

Entertainment News: 1
wallster 4 years

On the 30th Anniversary of the first recorded telling of the joke about Chris Rea and Dire Straits collaborating on a single to be released under the name of Dire Rea; meat wearing queen of pop Lady...

Couple divorce after dating site fail to identify them as a match 3
cuckoowatoo 4 years

It is reported that Mr and Mrs Richards had seen the television campaign for the dating site E-Harmony. The adverts claim that a scientific approach using 29 dimensions is adopted to determine...

Reckless idiot condemned for trying to make TV documentary without a celebrity 6
ronseal 4 years

A TV production company that tried to make a factual documentary without a celebrity presenter was rescued yesterday, saving them from almost certain oblivion. It took Christopher Biggins and Leslie...

Gerry Adams says his election campaign 'is a blast'. 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

Gerry Adams today said that his campaign in the Northern Ireland elections 'is a real blast.', 'I don't think it's going to bomb,' he said confidentally. 'It's firing on all cylinders, and in the...

Secret service say '7/7 wasn't our fault - we were too incompetent to stop it.' 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

The head of the British secret services, known only as Sir Basil Harrington of Mews Place, Haslemere, Surrey GU17 4BQ, has angrily denied they were in any way responsible for 7/7 (or any other...