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Investment bank bonuses to be ringfenced from potential retail bank losses. 8
MC One R 4 years
French goverment ban all public face covering 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Banks immediately claim new "ring-fence" as tangible asset. 1
Qoxiivi 4 years
Greenpeace: Support for French Save the Veil campaign was a 'misunderstanding' 0
Skylarking 4 years
Bulls, Bears and Stags to be ring-fenced, says London Stock Exchange 0
pinxit 4 years
Report advises High Street Banks to keep customers, that's it. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Gaddafi rendered unconscious after he forgot to open sunroof to greet supporters 0
Basil_B 4 years
High Street Banks advised to keep customers money in separate shoe box. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Lift company's annual accounts show that last year was "a bit up and down". 3
MC One R 4 years
Next Egyptian President to be elected by single transferable goat. 4
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Number of flip-flops worn during March reach record levels, a study shows. 0
MC One R 4 years
Audi driver allegedly spotted "not tailgating slower car". More soon. 5
MC One R 4 years
Banks to ring fence customers 7
virtuallywill 4 years

Coalition concedes that Library Book Thefts 'Taken as Read' 0
4 years
Banking Commission to offer banks feature-rich firewall software for only $99 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
US takeover could make Arsenal ‘the new Aston Villa’ insists new owner 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Hiccup as AU road map for Libyan peace left in glove box of Tripoli hire car 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
US takeover sees Arsenal rebranded The Top Gunners 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Ozzy Osbourne sacked as Wayne Rooney's speech coach 0
Ian Searle 4 years

More f%$*?@g soon...

Warm weather continues-children advised slam doors previously left open in cold 0
Ian Searle 4 years
UK and Dutch to buy Iceland and Ireland in "BOGOF" deal. More soon. 2
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Bin Laden relieved to hear he will escape future council fines 1
Basil_B 4 years
Jafaican to be included as a modern language in English Baccalaureat, says Gove. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years

Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove has revealed plans to allow school children in England to study Jafaican as a modern foreign language. This move comes after the government's decision...

Iceland 'out in the cold' say UK and Netherlands 0
roybland 4 years
Arsene Wenger thrown out of local Film Club after latest "Sorry, I didnt see it" 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Famous deaf bloke offers a posthumous 'pardon?' 0
ronseal 4 years

Relatives of Beethoven have offered a posthumous 'pardon?' to reporters, who asked how he was. The composer, who was famously polite and tolerant, would have been mortified that he appeared to ignore...

FC Tokyo vs Newcastle United friendly planned 16
Screenie 4 years

Japan to be placed on Toon Army alert...

Horses Flogged to death for a bet 1
Dun Dunkin 4 years

2 horses were forced to run to death for a bet. Supporters defended it saying it was 'socially useful' that 'The government gets money out of it' and 'the horses know the risk they are taking. Next...

Blackpool rocks 11
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Optimistic rodent says "gopher it!" 2
be reasonable 4 years

Hat-tip to psycadelic squirrel...