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Relocation of NewsBiscuit website to Isle of Wight 'Successful'

Management of the website are said to be 'Delighted' that its relocation to the Isle of Wight has 'Gone as smoothly as expected' and that 'The Isle has never seen such a reliable and...

antharrison 14.12.12 12:42pm
retrospective Turing pardon imminent but witch convictions to stand 2
cinquecento 14.12.12 12:37pm
New cycle helmet vital to Le Tour Yorkshire debut

Designers at Leeds Metropolitan University have revealed their secret weapon in the region's successful bid for the 2014 Tour de France Grand Depart. "It's a revolutionary new cycle helmet in the...

custard cream 14.12.12 12:23pm
Dick Everyman
Apple retro fits old iPads with 'cataract display' to encourage users to switch 2
custard cream 14.12.12 11:50am
Film about small man controlled by wizard tops charts. See "The Cleggit" today.

I'll get my coat...

Gaz 14.12.12 11:46am
custard cream
World’s last ‘Trimphone impersonator’ dies, aged 97

Jim Hughes, the last person known to be able to accurately impersonate a 1970s Trimphone, has died at a nursing home in Cheshunt. ‘It was a big part of his life,’ said Jim’s nephew, Philip...

DustyBinLaden 14.12.12 11:33am
Drunk office workers 'a real hit' at corporate entertainers' Xmas party

The first Christmas party solely for the singers and entertainers that make a living performing in tribute acts for corporate parties and balls was declared a "resounding success" by organisers, as...

Re Pete 14.12.12 10:02am
Re Pete
New blow to Scottish Independence as EU invoke "no gingers" rule

Alex Salmond has yet to react to a new setback for his campaign for Scottish Independence. The EU has already made it clear that Scotland would have to reapply for membership, but now an obscure "no...

apepper 14.12.12 9:31am
Ricky ‘Hitman’ Hatton to take up top-flight test cricket

Ricky Hatton has astounded the sporting world today with his decision to become a world class cricketer in under four months. The former boxer says his surprise switch to International Test Cricket...

Gary Stanton 14.12.12 8:57am
Gary Stanton
West Bank Caravan Club looking forward to annual rally 0
cinquecento 14.12.12 8:38am
NHS to move all missed appointments to Mondays. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.12.12 7:48am
Al OPecia
Angel Garcia top of the tree

Team Molina have secured the services of top trainer Angel Garcia – father of WBC strap holder Danny Garcia - ahead of Saturday's festive feud. Although Garcia appears to be in the corner only as...

won hung lo 14.12.12 7:30am
Ed Milliband quits as people with irritating accents banned from public office. 0
PeterB 14.12.12 7:06am
Disillusioned teen wakes up to the ugly side of vampirism

Thoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the...

Dick Everyman 14.12.12 12:28am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Poetic tribute to Norman Joseph Woodland doesn't scan 2
Idiot 14.12.12 12:19am
Mean FAB1 chauffeur, Parker, arrested on charges of Penny pinching

I'll get my coat...

Smart Alex 13.12.12 10:49pm
Smart Alex
Diagnosis : HMV negative.

Probably no more soon...

MADJEZ 13.12.12 10:17pm
African Newspapers taken in by Nick Clegg Deputy PM hoax

Several online newspapers in Africa have carried stories from satirical website Newsbiscuit reporting that Prime Minister David Cameron is aided in government by a deputy named Nick Clegg. The...

TerribleTim 13.12.12 9:58pm
Man breaks all his teeth in ‘bronze turkey’ confusion. 0
malgor 13.12.12 8:50pm
Turkey commandos steal Bernard Matthews' ashes in daring raid

A small rafter of specially trained turkeys from the 'crack' 1st Norfolk Division has completed a daring pre-Christmas attack on the former home of Bernard Matthews, and have stolen his cremated...

antharrison 13.12.12 8:31pm
custard cream
Newspapers campaign for "Savile's Law" - Identify all Celebrities in your area

Newspapers were today campaigning for a "Savile's Law" to be introduced in a bid for parents to be aware of al Celebrities that live in their area. A mother said "If there's a celebrity living near...

toastnotghosts 13.12.12 8:25pm
Popular satirical news website keeps crashing due to faulty comic relief valve

Hopefully no more soon Neato...

Psycadelic Squirrel 13.12.12 8:12pm
Pubs to adopt new ‘England flag’ classification...

Real ale aficionados turn to the pages of the [i]Good Beer Guide[/i]. But how can you tell what sort of ambience you’ll find in a pub you haven’t visited before? Well, wonder no more. The...

Tripod 13.12.12 7:24pm
custard cream
Fracking reduces Blackpool to rubble thus improving local house prices 2
custard cream 13.12.12 7:21pm
Yellowists devestated

Yellowists throughout the world are in mourning today, after their leader was sentenced to two years in prison for misunderstanding Wittgenstein and ruining someone else's stuff. Vladimir Ubanets,...

barrowboy 13.12.12 7:09pm
Torture instrument makers report record Xmas profits after '50 Shades Effect'

British military implements-of-torture manufacturer for over 450 years, Screech & Matlock, who saw a crippling drop in sales when lucrative government contracts with Egypt, Libya and the USA were...

pinxit 13.12.12 5:25pm
UK Govt.sets decorating expenses record by paying £2.2m rendition claim

more soon

custard cream 13.12.12 5:24pm
Dawn French arrested in Operation Rowntree 0
antharrison 13.12.12 5:21pm
I wish it wasn’t Christmas every day, admits Wizzard

Rajinder Laxmai, a bullock cart driver from the slums of Goregaon, northern Mumbai, has announced plans to build up his brand recognition in order to win market share. This will be the heart of his...

Alan Sundry 13.12.12 5:19pm
Villagers looking forward to eating ethical Xmas goat

Villagers from the tiny community of Ruritania in Eastern Europe say they can’t wait to eat the goat donated as an ethical Christmas gift by the Spencer family from Sittingbourne. “Every...

Darkbill 2.0 13.12.12 4:56pm