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Haye bailed 6
Perks 22.02.12 1:11pm
Sound effects business booming 9
Haywood Manley 22.02.12 1:10pm
Encouraging signs for economy as cost of lemons and batter go up 400% in a day. 3
MADJEZ 22.02.12 1:06pm
Scorsese facial hair documentary deemed too eyebrow for US audiences 1
Haywood Manley 22.02.12 1:05pm
Colombian director to film "Charlie And The Charlie Factory"

Relatives of the late, much-loved author Roald Dahl have expressed their shock and distaste at news that Colombian film director Timoteo Burtonez is to film his own "re-imagining" of the children's...

Haywood Manley 22.02.12 10:15am
Haywood Manley
IAEA to become EIEIO following sponsorship from McDonalds 0
Skylarking 22.02.12 8:26am
Britain's binge drinking babies

"Once he starts on a bottle he just doesn't stop" said one mother when interviewed about this latest news issue. Jackie Shah explained further. "As soon as Nicky sees the bottle he gets very...

ianrbland 22.02.12 7:49am
Brits scoop top awards at Brits Awards shock 0
Dickens or Shakespeare 22.02.12 7:17am
Dickens or Shakespeare
Pantomime fairy brings the house down

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have tried to fly a 22-stone Fairy Godmother in on a wire," admitted the director of Hunstanton Amateur Musical Society (HAMS) after emergency services were called to...

Major Clanger 21.02.12 11:55pm
Major Clanger
Sun On Sunday reporter caught phoning taps

News has just been leaked that SOS reporter Charlie Johnson has been phoning taps all over England in the work up to the first edition of the Sun on Sunday. Sarah Lancashire's tap was phoned three...

RJWinter 21.02.12 11:47pm
Major Clanger
North London school admits 'altitude gerrymandering' to justify 4x4 school-runs

Jealous environmentalists have launched a scathing attack on a new North London school, after it was built precariously on the summit of an imported Welsh foot-hill. The snow-capped centre of...

21.02.12 11:37pm
Major Clanger
Australian scientists make enormous strides in giant trouser research 5
Haywood Manley 21.02.12 11:33pm
Scientific breakthrough turns out to be animated movie sequel

Scientists at The Institute of Cell Biophysics were left red-faced today after their successful resuscitation of a 30,000 year old fruit plant turned out to be the latest instalment of animated...

lucas 21.02.12 11:31pm
Puffins: Warning, may contain fish. 7
beau-jolly 21.02.12 11:28pm
ITV to interrupt next England game with rest of Adele's Brit Awards speech 0
exigo 21.02.12 11:01pm
Amoeba Agency splits into UK Border Agency 0
thackaray 21.02.12 10:33pm
Image of UK pop music in crisis as ginger bloke and fat girl sweep Brit Awards 4
charlies_hat 21.02.12 10:22pm
'Bitter' dispute sees Columbia threaten to turn off 'Espresso Pipeline'

The Colombian government has caused the world to shake in a way that resembles the withdrawal symptoms of a caffeine addict after announcing it is considering turning off the espresso pipeline to the...

Perks 21.02.12 10:18pm
Shares slip in Greece 1
ianrbland 21.02.12 10:06pm
UK Border Agency split in two; IN and OUT 2
charlies_hat 21.02.12 9:55pm
One in five Greek newborns to be given to Germany 0
hughesroland 21.02.12 9:50pm
Large wooden horse left outside the European Central Bank HQ 0
Gourd Almighty 21.02.12 9:35pm
Gourd Almighty
Madonna wins five awards at the Grannies 1
bonjonelson 21.02.12 9:28pm
Haywood Manley
Strauss-Kahn sex-ring arrest, didn't reallise Prince Albert was illegal.

More painful headlines soon...

MADJEZ 21.02.12 9:20pm
Sunderland Supporters Club sponsor St James's Park

There are mixed emotions in Newcastle tonight as it emerged that the Sunderland supporters club has agreed a seven figure sponsorship deal to rename St James's Park for the next 5 years. All funds...

grottymonty 21.02.12 9:13pm
UK braced for another sixty years of royal good deeds

The UK is faced with sixty years of the Duchess of Cambridge performing good deeds warn royal watchers. On her third good deed engagement in a fortnight visiting a therapeutic art school in Oxford,...

roybland 21.02.12 8:20pm
Craig Whyte inducted into Celtic "Hall of fame" for services the the club....

"We had thought about naming one of our stands after him," said a club source, "but apparently, he's already very adept at getting those using other means."...

Jammydodgers 21.02.12 7:40pm
Strauss-Kahn now favourite for Daddies Sauce Father of Year and England Captain 0
ronseal 21.02.12 7:39pm
Shares in Hummous dip

but market in bread dough rises...

ianrbland 21.02.12 7:27pm
EU gets €2000 for Greece under country scrappage scheme. 0
MADJEZ 21.02.12 7:01pm