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Economic pressures force Club Tropicana to finally end free drinks policy 14
dicky37 4 years

[But don't worry, you can sun tan]...

Airport recruit Al-Qaeda suicide bomber on gap year 3
BlackAndroid 4 years

A one time ‘Al-Qaeda’ terrorist made history this week by becoming the first suicide bomber to enter an airport and not try and blow it up after defecting from the ‘Al- Qaeda’ network and...

Al-Qa'ida deny that Pakistan floods were caused by Suicide Plumber.. 8
Sharpehunter 4 years

No more soon...

'Bonuses very unlikely' say Bank chiefs, after banking profits. 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

'We will offer them, of course, but expect most of our people to turn them down.'...

Gregg's pies now 'by Royal Appointment to HM The Queen' 2
PluckyMunky 4 years

Nicholas Whitchell, BBC royal correspondent (of whom Prince Charles once said, 'I loathe that man') said: 'I was indeed fortunate enough to ascertain from her Majesty her favourite bakery product. I...

Forcing Sir Alex Ferguson to talk to the BBC has backfired. 1
Gourd Almighty 4 years

In his first face to face verbal contact with BBC sports reporters since a controversial documentary in 2004, Sir Alex said, “Acshuwey, keepin’ tae whuts strictwy affa re park, naebody kens mare...

Afghan aid workers ' A sacrifice to Huitzilopochtli' claims Cameron 0
la maga 4 years

In a surprise move during a press conference about the deaths of the foreign medics in Afghanistan today, David Cameron donned an ancient Aztec mask and, speaking in a husky voice with a strange...

Elvis impersonator dies on his arse. 1
BlackAndroid 4 years
Christ Officially Changes Name To... 15
pencilbox 4 years

<><...

Rise in cases of scurvy as Saudi Arabia bans strawberries and raspberries too. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Nation now confusing Big Brother and Afghan War, say weary pollsters 0
la maga 4 years

After 10 years of Big Brother and 9 years of war in Afghanistan, a confused nation has this week attempted to vote the Taliban out of Afghanistan for good. In what was supposed to be a simple opinion...

The Doctors at the C.S.I branch in Northumbria confirm the 2nd post mortem 0
arrghgarry 4 years

results are in ,everyone got well and truly pissed ,thanks a lot,We are sure that Moaty would have loved to have been there ...

Paul Gascoigne to star in a film about Raoul Moat`s life "Get Moaty" 5
arrghgarry 4 years

Gazza aid "if they tell us what to say like I`ll be reet ,like. av got a saying as well like ,"why aye yippe kay ay mother fucker,wot about that then" good eh ?...

Institute for the Blind to do their bit for the 'Big Society'.. 3
Sharpehunter 4 years

All blind people will have their white sticks sharpened in a bid to help reduce the litter on our highways and byeways said Sheila Spinthrift, from Sheffield, announced on behalf of the Institute for...

The mayor of Hiroshima defends going with "Home of the bomb " as a new slogan to 0
arrghgarry 4 years

get more tourists we believe we are the original ,the best the most damaged and most killed ,we rock fuck, Nagasaki.In Fact we say now, to Lil` kim il dong to bring it on ....

Outrage at Hiroshima as the American representative is found with a dirty bomb 4
arrghgarry 4 years

He said "I think they should lighten up it`s been 55 years since we saved even more Japanese from death ,they are just ungrateful bastards "...

US plan to take children of Mr YorkshireBankPlcareabunchofwankers into care 2
fernandomando 4 years

The legacy of disputes with the banking community weighed heavily on Mr YorkshireBankPlcareabunchofwankers today when it was announced that authorities in the United States were actively taking steps...

Pakistani Bond 'unthinkable' say 007 fans 7
Scroat 4 years

More racist crap soon...

New iceberg off Greenland 'not comparable to Wales' says expert 0
Ostsee 4 years
Go Back To The Old Writers' Room 0
rfreed 4 years

This version stinks....

Man who eats meat from cloned cows comments that it "Repeated " on him . 0
mrlemoncurry 4 years

Can't believe no one has done this yet . So sorry...

Dictator’s shame at being linked with monster Naomi Campbell. 2
MADJEZ 4 years

Former Liberian president Charles Taylor wept in court yesterday as he told of rumours linking him to Supermodel Naomi Campbell. ‘It’s been a terrible blow to my reputation, I can’t sleep,...

Zardari - "Floods a gift from Allah, the country needed a good wash..." 1
Sharpehunter 4 years

no monsoon...

Theresa Riggi Announces Husband Can Now Have Custody Of Children 1
pencilbox 4 years
Jordan 'over the moon' to discover a country named after her 6
PluckyMunky 4 years

'They never told me they was doing that' said the fading starlet. 'I feel like Nelson Mandala now.'...

The Foreign Office isued an advisory against old people traveling to Moscow 0
arrghgarry 4 years

as there are still a hell of a lot of commies there ,and you could get meet a young woman who could marry you ,shag you death(if you are lucky) and inherit your house and wealth...

Disgraced assault footballer vows to fight "punch, butt and stomp" to clear name 1
Rorschach 4 years

"On the night of the attack King had been out in Soho Revue Bar in west London celebrating his wife's pregnancy." See romance isn't dead (It just has black eyes, loose teeth and a broken nose.)...

Pope admits he can't wait to 'shag Sister Sarah' when his term is up. 1
PluckyMunky 4 years

'Lovely tits on her', said the pontif to PM Berlusconi...

Local police launch awareness campaign stressing the importance of bribery 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Paxton & Whitfield Cheese (St James's) vote Dairylea Cheese, Cheese of the Year 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Rowland McDonald-Daniels, manager and cheese connoisseur, of the Jermyn Street shop said: 'its really nice. Like yummy'...