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Some fucking octopus dying gets covered on TV, for fuck's sake 12
Oxbridge 4 years

Confirmation that you are not mad, it's the world around you, emerged today, when every British television channel carried a story about some bloody animal with tentacles dying in its tank in Germany...

Lord Alan Sugar changes his name by deed poll for new sponsorship deal 0
dogwheels 4 years

Lord Sugar of Clapton will now be known as Lord Brown Sugar after signing a sponsorship deal with a well-known fairtrade producer...

Lion in Serengeti charged with stalking offences after following deer. 0
Basil_B 4 years

A case has been heard today in a court room in Tanzania of a suspect who is being charged with stalking offences., The defendant known simply as A.Lion has made a not guilty plea of intent to hunt...

President karzai of Afghanistan says that the payments from 0
arrghgarry 4 years

America and Iran ,its the payments from his brothers drug empire that are not transparent...

Stonehenge to blame for human kind never having contact with aliens. 6
Basil_B 4 years

It's design and layout has inadvertently spelt out in symbol form the Alien equivalent of fuck off...

7/7 Inquest shocked at video evidence 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Chiles and Bleakley lined up for Sickly Come Dancing 0
Scroat 4 years
Channel 4 announce new digital Freeview Channels 'E4 ÷ 2', '-E4', others 7
Golgo13 4 years

With the digital switchover rolling out across the country, Channel 4 today unveiled a raft of new mathematically generated channels to complement the existing E4 + 1, which broadcasts E4 programmes...

Man Incited Religious Hatred at Bus Stop.. 0
De-scribe 4 years

..asked Rabbi "When's the next bus, Jew?"...

Bill Oddie: “My Big Fat Balls Attract the Birds” 6
De-scribe 4 years
Nick Clegg reacts angrily to ‘cleansing’ claims 0
struth 4 years

Nick Clegg reacts angrily to ‘cleansing’ claims Nick Clegg was visibly riled in the House of Commons yesterday when a backbench MP appeared to imply that he skips the crucial first step of his...

Spy on emails "properly", Ministers tell Google 0
Andrew 4 years

A group of Tory MPs have condemned Google's accidental spying on emails which incompetent members of the public broadcast unencrypted into the street as "lazy and not that bad". 'We are disappointed...

Clegg would take cigarettes onto a desert island as one of his luxuries... 0
Basil_B 4 years

but fails to add lighter as his next request...

Battle hardened Soldiers to be deployed to Cultural deserts claims Wikileaks 0
simonjmr 4 years

Wikileaks has today revealed that Nato intends to deploy thousands of battle hardened soldiers to the world's cultural deserts, in a move that is aimed to capture hearts and minds. Initially towns...

Employer who pays peanuts investigated by RSPCA 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Nick Clegg sponsored by Embassy denies promoting cigarettes. 0
Basil_B 4 years
75% of MPs thought to be incapable of work 1
hero2zero 4 years

Researchers tell us, “Many should be on incapacity benefit!”...

Clegg to replace Paul the Psychic Octopus 0
Moggsy 4 years

We needed another spineless indecisive creature - Nick Clegg fits the job perfectly...

False Eruption Alarm in Indonesia 0
ruthless1 4 years

Indonesia Volcano Eruption has been described as a "false alarm" as livestock farmer admits to "loud rumbling stomach after skipping lunch", sources say...

Charlie Sheens` turns to God after his latest alcohol,powdered substance 3
arrghgarry 4 years

trashing of his hotel room next to his sleeping wife and kids and thanks him for making him the star of Americas`top rated TV show . One and half men and a boy...

Wayne Roooney admits he has been going through a bad patch recently 0
arrghgarry 4 years

Sir Alec Ferguson advises him to stop looking for prossies in Moss side and drive home going through Clayton ,where the trees have not been p@ulled up yet ...

Council workers to confiscate cheap alcohol from supermarkets and off licences 0
ItsReevesy 4 years

Local council offices are expecting to be inundated with job applications from teenagers after the Government announces new measures to combat alcohol abuse. More soon...

World Cup Octopus Dies - Rooney hires extra Doctors 0
wolfie 4 years
England's Biggest Horny Dumb Animal Finally Shot - Rooney Hires Extra Bodyguard 0
wolfie 4 years
UN Monopoly Game Revealed -UK Economy Rescued as Osborne Lands on "Free Parking" 0
wolfie 4 years

The mystery UK growth figure of 0.8% was explained by a Downing Street leak revealing that the UK has been locked in an international game of Monopoly with most other UN countries. A behatted and...

Economy back on track, says Osborne. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Surprise move sees all spending cuts reversed. Thousands of public sector workers to get their jobs back...

Growth in last quarter entirely due to Rooney's pay rise. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Psychic octopus predicts untimely death of German national football team... 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Esther Rantzen "tripped" OAPs in bid to boost commission from accident helpline 0
dogwheels 4 years
Jaws shark checks into rehab 3
dogwheels 4 years

Rene Carson, the shark who terrified a generation of movie-goers in the hit film Jaws, has checked into an exclusive Beverly Hills rehabilitation clinic. Carson's family said in a statement that he...