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American drone 'just wouldn't shut up' complains Pakistani militant 3
jp1885 4 years
Scottish Iron Monger accused of fiddling with a 'Gnats Knackers' Pleads.. 2
Sharpehunter 4 years

innocent on grounds of a 'Gnats Knacker' being a traditional iron mongers alternative form of measurement. Colin Toady, of Edinburgh pleaded not guilty today to a string of charges brought against...

Microwave barracked over lack of ceremony. 0
SingingHinny 4 years
Swarms of wasps to be banned from football grounds 1
exigo 4 years

If anyone has the time or inclination to work this up, feel free. I'm busy, yeah?...

Americans sceptical of Conrad Black's terminal cancer claim 1
roybland 4 years
US Senators demand inquiry into claims BP lobbied for release of Conrad Black. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

Senators from the Gulf Coast states and also the Senator for Detroit (one of the USA's most admired oil users) have demanded an inquiry into the claims that BP lobbied for the release of Conrad Black...

Government orders Channel Tunnel filled in to keep the bailiffs out 3
la maga 4 years

The government of the United Kingdom today ordered the Channel Tunnel be filled with a mixture of concrete and scrap iron to prevent the entry of bailiffs intent on seizing the country's assets. The...

Slough bus company admits wasting money on training drivers to spot terrorists 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

"Obviously it hasnt worked" said one manager "if its a threat from Al-Qaeda they arent likely to get on board dressed up as an Islamist"...

Pupils confused by mean & medium still waiting for refund from Derek Acorah 1
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Big Society bound for big apple 0
thogg 4 years

More to follow...

Rooney announces return to international football 0
thogg 4 years

Wayne 'potato head' Rooney, formally of tabloid fame, has shocked the footballing world (see Jabulani) by announcing his retirement from retirement. "At the end of the day its goals that count, I...

Buy the all new 'vince' cable! 0
thogg 4 years

This newly brought out cable will help with all your household governing needs. It's going to be this years must have essential parliamentary cable. It starts off orange, but when plugged into...

Sloppy journalism blamed on Giggle 0
Erlang 4 years

The Press Complaints Commission reports that free in five or 35% of press articles are either littered with errors or are just blindly copied from Internet search engines. Errors include spelling,...

Megrahi doctors now believe "he may live forever" 9
rickwestwell 4 years

In something of an embarrassing U-turn, the Scottish doctors who originally diagnosed Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi with terminal cancer have revised their prognosis, and now believe he will "probably...

‘Robocop’ on hold after Windows encounters ‘fatal error’. 1
SingingHinny 4 years

The MOD has admitted that using Windows as the Operating System in its ‘Robocop’ programme may have been a mistake after the eponymous hero was struck down by a ‘backdoor Trojan’. It is...

BP Killed 40,000 Londoners - Obama 1
jayjay22 4 years

It`s official - BP is to be investigated by congress over a mysterious plague which killed over 40,000 Britains in 1655., President Obama,after a quick chat with a mate and some small children ,has...

Islamick terror cell uncovered in Dublin 0
ramblesnake 4 years

'They had to go to another job,' said a spokesman for the Eire Anti Terror Squad, 'but they promised to come back to be arrested a week next Thursday.'...

Report claims Blair could be deployed to Lockerbie enquiry within 45 minutes. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Scotsman reporter mulls over whether it was smart move to attack 0
arrghgarry 4 years

group of writers ,thankful that he has other irons in the fire .News Toady, sorry news today ...

Peter Mandelson is going to retire after the third man as he is buggered 2
arrghgarry 4 years

and needs to save his arse for the weekend Yacht party with his banker friends...

'Big Society' latest: Cameron volunteers to wipe his own arse 6
jp1885 4 years

In a stirring speech made during a visit to the Borehamwood Women's Institute today, David Cameron added substance to his dream of a 'big society' by volunteering to wipe his own sphincter following...

Notorious troll arrested following discovery of goat remains 0
jp1885 4 years

Britain's most wanted chatroom troll, who, during a five year reign of terror is believed to be responsible for hundreds of attacks in forums across the country, is behind bars today, after an...

BP is such an appalling organisation Obama has approved a lucrative takeover bid 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
BP admits it has paid out billions of dollars to US Senators....... 1
afternoonslow 4 years

.. Governors, Presidential Candidates, UK Political Parties, Libyan Loonies, and everyone else with snouts in the Trough, apart from the Scottish Govt, who displayed an insane belief in Justice. For...

Children who play in the street more likely to be hit by cars. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Cameron replaces "Nanny State" with "Flashman State". More soon. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Pharmaceuticals giants bid to become Official Drug Supplier to 2012 Olympics 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The world's top pharmaceuticals giants have now moved to the final round of bidding to become the Official Supplier to the 2012 Olympics. COMING SOON, The tender process, What Official Status...

Megrahi: I'm fine for now thanks but I may have to return for one more bombing 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Concerned-looking news reader secretly doesn't give a toss 0
la maga 4 years
Government to scrap Building Parliaments for the Future Scheme. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years

The £800m planned refurbishment of the Houses of Parliament has been scrapped by the government. Junior minister, Solly Farquhar, today announced that after the summer break the House of Commons...