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'Wallet is welcome to stay on board' say angry passengers

A Qantas flight from Singapore to London has been diverted to Dubai after air traffic controlers at Heathrow discovered one of the passengers on board was entertainer Stephen Fry. Officials on the...

1
Gerontius 04.11.11 11:19pm
Quaz
Last Words

Spellchecker responsible for Steve Jobs' divine last moment – final words were actually “ow ow ow ow ow ow”...

0
ght 04.11.11 10:46pm
ght
Hen Nights Blamed for Tremors off Blackpool Coast

Energy companies involved in fracking breathed a sigh of relief today as the Institute of Risible Studies released a report blaming hen night shenanigans for tremors off the Fylde Coast. Shocks of...

2
LizzyG 04.11.11 10:31pm
FlashArry
Cinema boost as 'gender spex' let couples watch films with different climaxes

Cinemas are witnessing an unprecedented boost in ticket sales, after subtle modifications to their '3D' technology created the 'gender spectacle'. Now couples with different tastes in films can pay a...

16
Runestone Cowboy 04.11.11 10:10pm
FlashArry
Olympic organisers struggle for words to describe posters by 'artists'

Despite a valiant attempt to praise the artists responsible for today's batch of posters designed to promote the 2012 London Olympic Games, organisers have been left speechless as they sifted through...

0
kga6 04.11.11 9:04pm
kga6
Ofsted boss says being compared to Dirty Harry made his day. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.11.11 8:44pm
dominic_mcg
Media shocked by missing-girl parents with shorter attention span than them - 2

The parents of Lily Weaver, the nine-year-old girl who disappeared from an Epsom shopping centre last Saturday, appealed to the public for information about their daughter, but left journalists...

44
Gong of Fur 04.11.11 8:42pm
Perks
Scottish Parliament to introduce minimum price per fix. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.11.11 8:37pm
dominic_mcg
Daily Mail explodes with joy...

as multiple offending illegal immigrant is paid £17,000...

2
mr blue 04.11.11 8:25pm
arthurminnit
Spammers’ forum hit with deluge of coherent posts

Spammers around the world were left fuming this morning after discovering that an international spamming forum has been bombarded overnight with non-spam-related submissions. Users logging on to...

6
Vertically Challenged Giant 04.11.11 6:43pm
kga6
Iceland install spare freezers at poles to curb global warming ice melt

Icy supermarket chain, Iceland, have donated all their spare food freezers to environmentalists, who plan to install them at the North and South pole with their lids open in order to help keep the...

6
kga6 04.11.11 6:30pm
kga6
Zero-tolerance Crimewatch relaunch to focus on ‘people up to no good ‘

Crimewatch is to take a zero-tolerance approach to crime-fighting with a new formula based on hearsay and tittle-tattle, according to experts. The new format is likely to be a big hit during the...

1
Gary Stanton 04.11.11 5:44pm
Gerontius
BBC's 'Salford500' experiment ends in West London

"We think it has been a resounding success". That was the initial reaction from Mark Thompson, Director General of the BBC following the end of Salford500, the BBC's experiment to see the long term...

5
Perks 04.11.11 5:38pm
dvo4fun
After another default on it's debts, Bailiffs move in to evict the Greeks

In a surprise move by banks across Europe, bailiffs have started the process of evicting the Greeks from their country. 'The small print on the secured loans was very clear' Bob Holbourn, head...

3
Perks 04.11.11 5:20pm
dvo4fun
Greek economic management outsourced to Mount Olympus

Political speculation in Greece has thrown up a surprise candidate to take over from George Papandreou. 'Euthenia', the ancient Greek Goddess and spirit of prosperity, has emerged as the bookies...

3
dvo4fun 04.11.11 4:42pm
dvo4fun
Latest Bond film to be called "durchfall"

später mehr...

3
virtuallywill 04.11.11 4:19pm
Runestone Cowboy
G20 interpreter fail leads to Greek PM saying 'Back, sack and crack me' 0
pinxit 04.11.11 4:00pm
pinxit
Airport on St Helena expected to be ready in time for Sarkozy's arrival 2
medici2471 04.11.11 3:05pm
Ostsee
Anti-capitalist protestor starts “anti-capitalist events management company"

An anti-capitalist camping outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London confirmed today the experience has inspired him to start “ProtestEx” – the world’s first event management company dedicated...

1
NewSuburbanDad 04.11.11 2:25pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Greek PM delights G20 by rolling out first debt repayments in large wooden horse 0
pinxit 04.11.11 1:53pm
pinxit
Katie Price to star as new bond villain Twin Peaks. 0
godly1966 04.11.11 1:45pm
godly1966
Vince Cable apologises for leaving Liberal Democrat principles 'in the bin'

Business Secretary Vince Cable has been forced to apologise after a tabloid newspaper discovered that he had left bags full of confidential Liberal Democrat principles in bins outside his...

6
The Paper Ostrich 04.11.11 1:06pm
medici2471
Simulated Mars mission team are now looking forward to resting and playing.

Their next mission is planned for the Milky Way, but only between meals...

1
Ian Searle 04.11.11 1:01pm
medici2471
Greece threatened with expulsion from UEFA and Eurovision

Pressure on Greece to remain as part of the Euro mechanism has grown following the latest bombshell dropped by Sarkozy and Merkel. It has been revealed that if they do decide to leave the Euro, not...

0
grottymonty 04.11.11 12:52pm
grottymonty
Anti-capitalists hit Sesame Street - brought to you by lower case letters t &g

Said Oscar the Grouch, "These people are living like animals!"...

1
Ian Searle 04.11.11 12:37pm
tedweasel
OS map officials caught at Hooters while surveying mountainous local features

Explaining controversial expenses claims for evenings at Hooters, a raunchy restaurant and bar chain in San Diego, UK Ordnance Survey staff said the venue 'happened to be near their hotel while they...

0
vertical 04.11.11 12:32pm
vertical
ITV takes out Super Injuction on Downton Cast List

After the identity of the character who is to die was discovered in a clear plastic bag in Vince Cable's dustbin...

0
Ian Searle 04.11.11 12:23pm
Ian Searle
Confidential government files now available via Cable 2
Screenie 04.11.11 12:06pm
Al OPecia
Cable's bin laden 0
Screenie 04.11.11 11:22am
Screenie
Health and Safety concerns throws Greek 'knife edge' vote into chaos 0
thackaray 04.11.11 11:06am
thackaray