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New note of sarcasm app for Steven Hawking's voice machine 1
ronseal 4 years
Andy McNab to replace Ed Miliband as Labour seek more recognisable leader 9
OllieP 4 years

Labour has announced today that former SAS soldier and successful novelist Andy McNab is to replace Ed Miliband as Leader in a desperate bid for the party to have a more recognisable figurehead. The...

Bankrupt Spoonerism Society Boss says Barclays are just a wunch 4
Midfield Diamond 4 years

(please don't make me explain)...

Teachers vote to walk-out, told 'NO RUNNING' 4
Ludicity 4 years
Tube strike will bring the entire country to a halt, say London train drivers 0
John Wiltshire 4 years
Gaddafi boycotts Olympics; Netanyahu now favourite for Cluster Bomb gold. 0
tl72uk 4 years
Gavin Henson finds his true love after being given a mirror 0
John Wiltshire 4 years
Ring fenced retail banks: a hinderance to customers claims pressure group 0
simonjmr 4 years

UK Retail banks will start installing customer defelcting fences from today, in an effort to prevent deposits from being withdrawn. The Chancellor George Osborne has rubber stamped the proposals as...

GB Olympic high jump hopes shattered by giant spring ban 0
Re Pete 4 years

British Olympic plans for the London Games were left in turmoil as the International Olympic Committee ruled that the kit recently introduced by Team GB’s high jump hopefuls – which includes...

'Arab Spring' traced to argument over office air-conditioning 0
4 years

The source of the so-called 'Arab Spring', a series of uprisings and protests throughout the more clammy and humid countries of the Middle East, has finally been traced. Conspiracy theorists have...

'I don't do mixers' as Hamilton denies Red Bull rumour 0
Basil_B 4 years
"Excalibur embedded in stone was no match for WD40" says new English King Kevin 1
JohnA 4 years

Monty Python was right. This is no way to have a system of government...

Island of Lesbos admits to being male peninsula called Terry 4
4 years
Terry Pratchett investigates assisted suicide, for the 12th time 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

Too bad taste? I felt bad as I was writing it...

New soccer shocker: Premiership star 'repeatedly faithful to wife' 0
FraserWords 4 years

A Premiership star has allegedly been repeatedly faithful to his wife., The player has become mired in a fresh super-injunction row after taking action to ban reports of his niceness., The man,...

US in diplomatic row with Tibet: Obama-Lama ding dong 0
FraserWords 4 years

As promised, Dave...

Kipling scholars discover new poem: ‘Iffy’ 7
FraserWords 4 years

Stunned scholars have discovered a poem they believe influenced Rudyard Kipling’s famously inspirational verse ‘If’., Entitled ‘Iffy’, the poem, by Kipling’s little-known cousin Stamford...

Enid Blyton’s Three Gollywogs get PC 0
Dick Everyman 4 years

Fans of Enid Blyton are counting the days towards the launch of the updated version of The Three Gollywogs. In a forward written by former MP Anne Widdecombe she says, “Whilst the story line...

Cardiff sheep population hot under the collar as Shearer deal falls through 0
charlies_hat 4 years
NHS reforms to be allowed to ‘die with dignity’ 3
Ludicity 4 years

David Cameron has confirmed that the government’s NHS bill will have its life ended by physician-assisted suicide. ‘We tried everything to save it,’ said Mr Cameron, ‘but the condition is...

14-year old Boy 'Wendy Licious' expresses outrage at fake lesbian blogs 8
4 years

A 14-year old male from Gloucester has expressed his outrage at the exposure of a string of 'fake' lesbian blogs. The blogs, perportedly written by lesbians in Damascus and Washington, were actually...

Judge Eady serves "Megainjunction" on entire Internet 4
JohnA 4 years

The world's Internet users were thrown into near panic as the Hon. Justice Eady imposed a 12-month "Mega-injunction" forbidding all of them, regardless of their country of origin, from speaking...

Filming on live-action Thomas The Tank Engine delayed by signal failure. 0
SingingHinny 4 years
New transparent plane allows passengers to see bits falling off the fuselage 1
John Wiltshire 4 years

Airbus today announced a new transparent plane, which should be ready by 2050, or ten to nine this evening. A spokesman for Airbus, Jeremy Thomsett, said : 'Making the plane transparent will give...

Andy Murray personally thanks fan for their timely “Come on Andy” commentary. 0
spur of the moment 4 years

In a surprising move, Andy Murray personally sought out a fan from the crowd to thank her for her cry of “Come on Andy” during the recent final at Queens Club this week. Andy explained to...

Apple in DFS takeover bid 0
roybland 4 years

Apple is preparing to enter the UK sofa market with an ambitious bid to acquire DFS.,  , 'It makes complete sense,' says market analyst Rodney Wiles. 'Steve Jobs has long been an admirer of DFS...

Experience shows the less we talk to people the more we know about them 0
Dumbnews 4 years
US Forces credit Facebook's facial recognition feature for finding Bin Laden 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Inflation Rate at 4%: heroin cost increase offset by fall in prostitution fees 0
steve_l 4 years

The latest "urban" inflation rate, designed to accurately reflect the costs of day to living in British cities was announced -the rate is unchanged at four percent. An increase in the cost of heroin...

Man admitted to A&E said to be a health minister 0
roybland 4 years

A man treated last night at a London hospital is believed to be a government health minister.,  , 'A 54 year old man arrived last night at our A&E in a state of some distress,' a hospital...