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After securing a baby from a young professional footballer 0
arrghgarry 4 years

professional girlfriend calls off wedding ,everyone well surprised...

Dammit... someone got there first. Note to self must read at least one page 0
Ian Searle 4 years

before posting...

French scientists mistake miniature human livers for paté canapés. 2
the coarse whisperer 4 years
X-Factor announcer 'Sounds like that in real life' 1
antharrison 4 years

Neighbours of Peter Dickson, the X-Factor announcer, have requested that council officials impose a noise abatement order on him because of his booming off-screen voice. 'Most people think that he...

Man Thanks Friends Who Pointed Out That It Was 'Just a Trick' 0
IABP 4 years

Cheshire Man, Geoffery Watson, has today publicly thanked his friends for pointing out that everything he saw was, in fact, 'just a trick'. It all began when Geoff went to Las Vegas and caught a...

Hopes dashed for Tim as Lee Westwood named world's number one clubber. 0
tl72uk 4 years
News Summary : Bomb ba ba bomb, Bomb ba ba bomb, Dang ! 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Blue [s]m[/s] soon...

Aliens snub mankind after catching first ten minutes of X Factor 0
dogwheels 4 years

Politicians from around the globe were last night scrambling to diffuse a tense diplomatic situation with a group of aliens, sparked by television show The X Factor. A source in Downing Street has...

Southwark man begins compiling list of 'collaborators' with Tory regime 0
la maga 4 years

Keith Hartson, a resident of Southwark, London, is this week reported to have begun compiling his personal list of collaborators with the 'Con-unDem Coalition' as he calls it. He has refused to...

127 hours movie cut to 93 minutes 0
crlncxn 4 years

“The attention-span of the movie-going public just isn’t up to lengthy films anymore. Long gone are the days when people could sustain interest throughout twenty eight days,” claimed Danny...

TMS team arrested for faking new "Bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" moment 11
rickwestwell 4 years

Members of the BBC radio Test Match Special commentary team were taken into police custody last night, accused of trying to fake a new pseudo-accidental on-air gaffe, for the purpose of gaining...

Cherrie’s Ebay print-cartridge purchase causes airport chaos 1
hero2zero 4 years

Print cartridges, purchased by Cherrie, wife of ex-prime minister Blair seized at international airports caused chaos around the world today. She told our reporter, “I’m just an ordinary...

Yemen to use Royal Mail in future to ensure nothing dodgy gets to USA 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
US Mail intercepts suspicious packages addressed to Wile E Coyote. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Toner cartridge packed with explosives still cheaper than one packed with toner. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
UPS review anti-beard policy after Al-Qaeda bomb plot. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Promises more jobs for Islamic fundamentalists in future. More soon...

Harman apology to Kevin the gerbil over Danny Alexander gibe. 0
siram 4 years
Homosexuals "still hilarious", say satirists 1
Bwahahahaha 4 years

A group of the nation's leading satirists confirmed this morning their belief that homosexuals are still 'inherently hilarious', in response to suggestions that merely trotting out a string of...

Al-Qaeda claim responsibility for killing Exmoor stag 4
Stan 4 years

There was consternation last night after the terrorist group, Al-Qaeda, apparently claimed responsibility for killing Emperor, the biggest wild animal in Britain. Contrary to reports suggesting...

UK and US to outsource munitions production to Yemen to save costs.. 0
ItsReevesy 4 years

they've even offered to pay the shipping costs says procurement officer Major Thomas "Tommo" Etherington...

Take That BecomeThe Second Fastest Sellout Behind The Lib Dems 3
IABP 4 years
Benefit cap ‘will not affect any houses in Westminster' promises Cameron 0
Nobby Holder 4 years

Plenty more soon...

Terror alert as explosives found on US planes bound for Iraq and Afghanistan 2
rickwestwell 4 years
Cameron reminds UK public to turn the clock back ‘thirty years’ this weekend 3
Fin Robertson 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today asked the people of Britain if they wouldn’t mind turning their clocks back an extra ‘thirty years’ on Sunday night. “By Monday morning I confidently...

Ginger rodent': Danny Alexander calls harriet Harman the Odious cunt 1
arrghgarry 4 years

as do many English people...

New Facebook feature lets you restrict status updates to same gender friends 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Moody downgrades Karma to junk status 0
Dumbnews 4 years

A wishful thinking speculative investment that loses value in the long term...

Deluded Cameron Given Dunce Cap And Abacus By His Old Maths Teacher 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

.due to Dave's 'can't count, won't count' cockup at the Euro-summit - 'Oh, yes, a 2.5% fall-back figure is a fantastic victory compared to my initial 0% demand.'...

Nimbus Racing Broom Company Announce Safety Recall of Nimbus 2000 Broomsticks 0
IABP 4 years

More Broom...

Nick Clegg says he is now so busy he has to eat the dog poo that people shove 0
arrghgarry 4 years

through his door...