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Gary Glitter to star in remake of Casablanca - 'Here's looking at your kid'. 3
wallster 4 years
Santa regrets buying Tom Tom as sleigh written off in car wash. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Royal Mint security staff toast "lookunalike" coin 0
GrahamB 4 years

Jubilant staff at the Royal Mint toasted their success today following market research that showed that the portraits of Prince William and Kate Middleton on the new commemorative engagement coin...

US military devolops weaponry controllable by iPhone 0
Dumbnews 4 years
New York's "Punch Me Panda", not as popular as Wales' "F**k Me Sheep" 0
Ian Searle 4 years
James May given brain scan but none found. 0
Ian Searle 4 years

May was filming the Top Gear Christmas special, where the three presenters try to recreate the famous journey from the Christmas film "Snow White and the Three Stooges". He was helping fellow...

Whistleblower arrested for noise pollution 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Al Qaeda up in arms as schedule of transport carnage is snowed off 5
ronseal 4 years

Angry Al Qaeda bosses slammed Britain's bungling bus bosses after public transport cancellations ruined forced them to cancel a Christmas spectacular., One furious fundamentalist complained, 'Once...

Object Coming From East Across Night Sky Was a Plane Arriving says Heathrow Boss 4
IABP 4 years

The 'Miracle of Heathrow' may have been just a plane arriving at Heathrow and not some magical astronominical event. Many observers spotted the object coming from the East and appear to rest next to...

Nick Clegg and Simon Hughes hit by-election campaign trail. 0
DiY 4 years

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg and deputy leader Simon Hughes have spent the day campaigning in East Grinstead., When reporters pointed out that the by-election was actually going to be held in...

Guardian angels 'protect third of Britons'. 0
DiY 4 years

Nearly one in three Britons believe they have a guardian angel watching over them, according to a survey conducted by the Society of Studies., Denise Brown, 18, of Romford says her 'Gabriel' is...

Role of television "complete" 1
MC One R 4 years

Following revelations that The X Factor final was the most watched show of 2010, the government has confirmed that the task of television to ensure the population are kept under control as drooling...

Producers of The Apprentice admit fraud 1
MC One R 4 years

Producers of The Apprentice have admitted fraud in court, following the accusation that the phrase "sixteen of the country's brightest business prospects" is clearly incorrect. The judge has ruled...

Coalition hails "success" as 24 hours pass without a Vince Cable gaffe. 0
MC One R 4 years

But probably more soon...

Light plane crashes after snow brings down power lines 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
George Osborne more popular than Vicks Nasal Spray. 0
DiY 4 years

As recommended by the Deputy Leader of the House, David Heath. Mr Heath recently told reporters: "George Osborne has a capacity to get up one's nose, doesn't he?"...

Boredom grips thousands of gap year students after Skype outage 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
NHS Direct stress concerns after it phones itself 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Which? magazine recommends using comparison website for comparison websites 0
MC One R 4 years
Lib Dems and Conservatives agree Christmas Day truce. 0
dogwheels 4 years

In a move that mirrors past conflicts, the coalition government has announced a Christmas Day truce. The two sides have agreed that December 25 will not be marred by the recent political infighting....

Surprise at increase in calls to NHS Direct this winter 0
MC One R 4 years

Department of Health thought it had been closed down a couple of years ago...

Fury as Vincent Cable says what everyone actually thinks 9
Oxbridge 4 years

Britain has been seething with anger after Business Secretary Vincent Cable was taped expressing exactly the same opinion as anyone with opposable thumbs. The pressure for his resignation is bound to...

Fuck brevity 4
bonjonelson 4 years
Cable to cancel his subscription to Sky Sports 2 3
Gary Stanton 4 years

Business Secretary Vince Cable has announced his intention to withdraw his subscription to Sky Sports 2 in a move that is likely to rock the broadcasting giant to its foundations . The decision...

As more obese women die in car crashes Government initiates 0
Malcum eggs 4 years

radical new experiments and calls for fat crash test dummies and even if they are not dumb ,we are not fussy we can try and reduce the obesity problem and kill two fat birds with one stone ...

government warns of new strain of 'Flu 0
Bismarck 4 years

The governments chief medical officer today warned of a possible epidemic of a newly identified 'flu-like illness. The new strain, known as 26.12 typically becomes a problem on Boxing Day, causing...

Miliband accused of dropping an ‘e’ after calling coalition ‘a sham’ 2
Gerontius 4 years

More shite one-liners soon...

Vince Cable goes ballistic after being fired from the Cabinet 0
Malcum eggs 4 years
Manchester City Council parking victims delighted with festive tickets 0
antharrison 4 years

Motorists falling-foul of Manchester City Council's parking regulations have rushed to report their delight with the Council's new range of festive parking tickets. 'At first when I saw that the...

For f**ks sake people, stop posting this barrage of shite one-liners - 2 31
Gerontius 4 years

You're dragging the place down...