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Olympic champ dismisses competitive walking 'speed mincing' jibes.

"It's very popular with the other athletes and with the petroleum jelly industry." Speaking at the end of last weekend's U.K. athletics World Championship trials, Olympic Gold Medalist from 2000,...

dvo4fun 01.08.11 9:55pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Eastern European woman 'not a sex-traffic prostitute' says incredulous policeman

Police who raided the home of a twenty-seven -year old Eastern European woman were astonished to discover she had not been brought to the UK from a poor village in Romania by an international gang of...

roybland 01.08.11 10:47am
High Speed Musical 2 ‘may not now go ahead’

The government’s plans to deliver high-speed musicals between London and Birmingham have been dealt a severe blow. The results of a public consultation show that only 3% of people living next to...

Zadok the second 01.08.11 12:46pm
Parents admit child is just a little shit

It has been said that everybody remembers the day that a dog ran into their school. That's certainly true for pupils at St Peter's primary school in Coventry, because little Jimmy Morris set fire to...

Vertically Challenged Giant 02.08.11 8:43am
HSBC to axe 25,000 global jobs, sorry, 'local' jobs

More soon Just from a comment I made to VCG and he suggested I post it, so I have...

JonnyJP 01.08.11 10:35pm
Waitrose to open Guinea Land discount shops

Following the success of its Essentials range, Waitrose (‘never knowingly undercharged’) is to open a chain of discount stores to compete head on with the pound shops seen on many high streets....

Des and Stan 02.08.11 8:57am
After 150 years of weather forecasting Met Office hoping to get it right soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.08.11 9:19am
Mayor hails Olympics youth employment 'Look after your car mister?' initiative 0
pinxit 01.08.11 8:58am
Humans NOT be replaced by automated Huffington Post blog machine

The Huffington Post UK has scrapped plans to sack all its human contributors and replace them with an automated op ed machine that, its makers claimed, would be equally straight-jacketed, predictable...

ronseal 01.08.11 8:42am
Clegg calls snap Olympics. 'We're ready, so why not?' 0
Griffin 01.08.11 8:31am
Obama averts US debt crisis with loan from

The US administration breathed a collective sigh of relief today following President Obama’s announcement that their application for a loan had been approved. In a statement to Congress,...

Qoxiivi 01.08.11 11:21pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Congress passes emergency "glass ceiling" legislation

Congress vowed to get the USA back on track yesterday through passing a  vetting procedure designed to fast track the "right people to lead our nation into the future" into senior posts in...

NewSuburbanDad 01.08.11 2:42pm
Two badly burned after Salford plane crash they are charged 50 quid

by local scallies to be pulled out...

guffaw 01.08.11 4:50am
Layman discovers new loophole in Celebrity Lawyer Mr Loopholes wife. 0
guffaw 01.08.11 1:59am
TV comedy executives expecting record numbers of blowjobs at Edinburgh Festival

Television executives with the powers of commissioning new programmes are set for a 'blow job bonanza' this Edinburgh Festival, according to a study. The situation has been created as fewer TV...

ronseal 01.08.11 9:07am
Dappy from N-Dubz to host ‘All Celebrity Question Time.’

The BBC have denied accusations of ‘dumbing down’ today after it was announced that jockey-sized N-Dubz gang leader Dappy- real name Costadinos Contostavlos- is to host an all celebrity edition...

Corrigan 31.07.11 9:47pm
Al OPecia
Glasgow Kiss wins Appellation D’Origine listing. 0
the coarse whisperer 31.07.11 7:53pm
the coarse whisperer
Libyan Rebels Set up Embassy in London Concern

The Foreign Office admitted that giving Libyan rebels a base in London the FO were 'batting in the corridor of uncertainty'. 'To be frank it could be a huge mistake given we really don't know who...

Dun Dunkin 01.08.11 12:00am
Carol Vorderman flies in to Washington to resolve finance crisis. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 31.07.11 7:07pm
Al OPecia
Ban on selling second-hand toilet books announced

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has announced plans to ban toilet books from being resold second-hand. Explaining the motivation behind the decision, Lansley stated: ‘Each year, the millions of...

Christopher Frost 31.07.11 6:09pm
Christopher Frost
Knot up your back, now but Brian! 0
beau-jolly 31.07.11 5:46pm
Geoffrey Boycott's mother to open batting for England with stick of rhubarb. 0
dominic_mcg 31.07.11 3:51pm
Channel 4 to screen 'Celebrity Embarrassing Bodies'

Channel 4 is to screen a celebrity edition of ‘Embarrassing Bodies’., In emotional scenes, premiership star Wayne Rooney tells the show’s resident experts Dr Pixie and Dr Christian how having...

FraserWords 31.07.11 9:39pm
Retired Gurkha settlement area in UK "surprisingly crime-free". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 31.07.11 3:26pm
Al OPecia
Shock as wealthy professional sportsman weds 'ordinary looking' woman

More later...

dvo4fun 31.07.11 3:21pm
Glasgow police warn of more-fake money scam

Police in Glasgow are warning consumers about a spate of even faker Royal Bank of Scotland £20 notes. The fake fake money is being used to buy goods from online adverts, mixed into piles of genuine...

Andrew 01.08.11 10:07am
'I thought she said 'Set Fire to Lorraine', explains Adele fan arrested at GMTV 0
Oxbridge 31.07.11 1:01pm
Inspector Gadget arrested outside childs play area for showing kids his gadgets

In the midst of a heatwave gripping the USA, Inspector Gadget was seen outside a children's play area in LA wearing a long trench coat and showing a group of female teens his gadgets. One concerned...

thackaray 31.07.11 12:28pm
Highly Decorated Soldier, Adventurer And Ork-Slayer... Falls Victim To DVT

charlieworth 31.07.11 12:27pm
News of the World

News has arrived by carrier pigeon from Pongolia of a monster called the Moloch who has been devouring people on the streets of the capital. This has been happening for some years, but since the...

Awkward Facts 31.07.11 12:20pm
Awkward Facts