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JUST IN! DLT to take out stalker injunction against Sue Key 0
Leeboy007 4 years
A Correction : Sue Key of Burnham is a big fan of DLT. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Kia dealer in divorce battle after wife catches him spreading his cee'd 15
wallster 4 years
"Shoplifting okay if it's something you really, really want", claims vicar 1
butagirl 4 years
DJ Dave Lee Travis reveals Sui Kyi lifeline 1
Basil_B 4 years

Former Radio 1 and BBC world service DJ Dave Lee Travis revealed today that he owed the longevity of his career to Burmese freedom fighter Sui Kyi., 'Since I threw my teddy out in my on air rant and...

Hundreds of stories go into climax as thunderstorms finally hit Britain 6
ronseal 4 years

Britain's recent unprecedented dry spell, which delayed thousands of dramas up and down the country from moving to a climax of dramatic tension, finally broke yesterday, as hundreds of protaganists...

NHS turns to cloud computing to deliver patient records to crims faster 0
ronseal 4 years
Jackass stars' 100mph fastest stranglewank attempt 'a complete success' 2
The Return of DroleNoel 4 years

Well, it's been a while...

Suicide bombers set to strike over pension plans 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

Ayman al-Zawahiri is facing his first crisis as the new leader of Al-Qaeda after the National Union of Martyrs announced that suicide bombers will be going on strike due to the ongoing row over...

Glastonbury mud to be 'replaced by carpet'. 0
Leeboy007 4 years

Glastonbury festival organiser Michael Eavis has stunned the music world by announcing that he will be carpeting over his fields to eradicate the mud problem this year. "Every year people moan and...

Dave Lee Travis supports Burmese freedom fighter 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

I don't usually see the point of posting things from the internet on here - but this struck me as beyond the realms of the surreal:...

Rory McIlroy to compete for Britain in all Olympic events 2
John Wiltshire 4 years

Britain's winning golfer Rory McIlroy has been entered for every event in the 2012 Olympics, on the basis that he has actually won a sporting event, which is more than anyone else has done. Rory,...

New chain of care homes opened by Sharon Shoesmith of Indignitas 6
John Wiltshire 4 years

Dignitas is to open a new chain of care homes for the elderly under the brand name Indignitas., 'This is to reflect reality,' said the chairman of Indignitas Sharon Shoesmith. 'I have been chosen to...

New official answer for the joke 'how much is a grecian urn' is now 'fuck all'. 1
Basil_B 4 years
New holiday insurance rules make it illeagal take long weekend without a policy 1
Ian Searle 4 years

Tough new laws have come into force today designed to crack down on people taking holiday without insurance. The new legislation rules that anyone on an uninsured break must either declare their...

Peter Andre To Join Board Of FIFA 0
Leeboy007 4 years

It was announced today that pop star and reality television personality Peter Andre would be joining the football world governing body FIFA. In a somewhat radical, and some would say bizarre, move...

Juan Sheet does Katie Price 2
Oxbridge 4 years
View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (6/17 edition) 8
SugarTits69 4 years

A few days ago, I wrote about the damage done by the fake lesbian bloggers who turned out to be men, leading many to mistrust on-line lesbians. The spotlight of suspicion even fell on me, as cynics...

Brave Brit Murray beats bag of potatoes in 4 sets 0
4 years
Fears that 'C'mon, Andy!' may not ensure Murray win 0
roybland 4 years
Ford to invest heavily in new eco-friendly "Flinstones" propulsion 0
Dumbnews 4 years
School leaving age to rise to 66 1
Dick Everyman 4 years

New government plans have been uncovered indicating that the official school leaving age is to increase from 16 to 66. In documents leaked by a ‘reliable government source’ to The Sun the...

Local monkey who does tech support applys for better job at the Zoo 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Uproar as SugarTits69 is revealed to be a man called 'Fergie'. 22
Mr Payne 4 years

Check the 'Top Ten' accreditation. I feel cheated. And used. And a little bit foolish. I really believed...

England netball fans worried about excessive focus on 'HABs' 2
Oxbridge 4 years

As England's 16-woman netball squad gets ready for the World Cup in Singapore in July, the nation should be asking if England's pacy attack can counter the height advantage of Jamaica and Malawi to...

'Ugly People' website over-run ... 3
be reasonable 4 years

by applications from shallow, narcissistic air-heads. More soon...

YouTube says users running out of never done before things to film 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Syrian President Asda denies government by product placement 1
simonjmr 4 years
Mladic resigns. Hague says he's 'No longer under investigation. He's innocent' 0
Mr Payne 4 years
Andy Murray May Win Wimbledon. But Then Again May Not 0
Leeboy007 4 years

quick ticker bar entry...