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Police launch grannies decoy plan to cut crime 1
roybland 4 years

Police disguised as grannies will soon be walking Britain's streets in a radical move to cut crime, Home Secretary Theresa May announced today. The 'Decoy Grannies Initiative' has already been...

'Liberal' Sauron rejected by Tea Party grassroots 0
dogwheels 4 years

Evil demon-lord Sauron has failed in his bid to lead the American political movement known as the Tea Party after activists branded his agenda too liberal. He has even been dubbed 'Red Sauron', with...

Colman's Mustard re-branded as Colman's Steakholder Enchancement Solution 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

NIB (UNLESS I CAN THINK OF ANY OTHER REBRANDS OF TRADITIONAL PRODUCTS BY THE SORT OF ARSEHOLE WHO MARKETS HIMSELF AS A BRAND GURU) more later. or possibly not...

Eight new nuclear sites "still not far enough away from Houses of Parliament" 2
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Boris Johnson to announce new winter clothing hire scheme. 2
ItsReevesy 4 years

http://www.reevesyonline.me.uk/google/BorisHire.jpg Fresh from his success in introducing the London cycle scheme Boris Johnson has switched his attention to the health of London's Underground...

C4 show how easy it is to take off with Prince Harry by taking off documentary. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Liverpool owner renames team Mersey White Flags 0
custard cream 4 years

more to follow...

Geldof hails G20 deal on First World debt 3
ianslat 4 years

Anti-poverty campaigner Bob Geldof has today hailed as historic an agreement that will see billions of dollars of debt owed by the world’s richest countries wiped out. ‘This is fantastic news’...

Jodie Foster confirmed in title role in 'Jamie and the Magic Torch' movie 3
bonjonelson 4 years

[more soon] ps I hated that show...

West Country put on alert against Cyder Crime. 3
MADJEZ 4 years
Ive got 1
password collecter 4 years

I reckon the Numberjacks could sort you out!...

Severn Barrage ‘poor value and wouldn’t stop Charlotte Church’ 3
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Speculation mounts that Rooney may find new brothel 0
ianslat 4 years

Rumours abound today following the news that Wayne Rooney has refused to commit his future to the Manchester brothel he has been frequenting for the past three years. Rooney’s relationship with...

Smokers should be allowed to piss in your swimming pool, says tobacco industry 3
rickwestwell 4 years

Since legislation came into force requiring all urinators to leave the immediate vicinity of swimming pools, the sight of miserable shivering outcasts pissing sadly in doorways has become a familiar...

For Sale: One Rooney. Answers to 'Wayne'. Loves bonking. Apply A. Ferguson. 2
Ostsee 4 years
Avian victims of porcine egg thefts urged to refrain from vigilante reprisals 3
rickwestwell 4 years

Representatives of Britain's rural community are growing increasingly concerned about the growing level of violence between the nation's bird and pig communities, after a spate of egg-stealing by a...

Conservatives to offer sterilisation in place of Child Benefit. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
BA cabin crew to join French strikes. More idiocy soon. 1
Griffin 4 years
China Confirm Rooney To Be Next Prime Minister After Utd. Contact Talks Fail 0
mugwump 4 years
Double blow for new owners as Liverpool lose again and receipt goes missing 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
‘Cut now or pay later’ business leaders tell drug addicts 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cyber attacks are the greate.......All your base are belong to us!! 1
Erlang 4 years

Spam later...

First Driverless Google Taxi Service Not a Great Success say Rochdale Clubbers 0
IABP 4 years
Scientific community baffled by failing Sat Navs 19
hero2zero 4 years

Four failing Sat Navs have baffled scientists, two have displayed the symptoms of Tourettes Syndrome, one has developed a stutter and another has problems in pronouncing its Rs. One, fitted to a...

Osbourne denies planning big cuts, she says she'll only give Ozzy a trim. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Jehovah’s Witness outsourcing scheme a ‘huge success’ say sect leaders 1
Skylarking 4 years

An experiment by the Jehovah’s Witnesses to outsource their Outreach and Evangelism programme to a series of call centres in Manila has "succeeded beyond everyone’s wildest expectations"...

Maths visionary Mandelbrot dies over and over again 5
roybland 4 years

and more soon...

French petrol pumps running dry... 4
be reasonable 4 years

"Use Chardonnay, it tastes the same", says Bruni., "My dog likes a nice Beaune", says Sarkozy...

Government to offer Sterilisation Bribe to the Affluent, says Minister 0
IABP 4 years

Ahead of the Spending Review the government has revealed it's had a re-think on Child Benefit for the 'don't really need it' brigade. A revised plan means they will now offer a sterilisation bribe to...

Animal Charity Recognises Brian May: 'The Hair was the Giveaway' they said 0
IABP 4 years