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Newsbiscuit Feature: Your stars for the coming month (with 20/20 Hindsight)

Aries: Now you realise why the last few races at the Curragh had so many non-starters, you really should have refused buying that lorry-load of prime beef, sight unseen, bought for only 10 euros, a...

AReader 21.01.13 8:15pm
The All New Jeni B
Winner loss unexpected 0
reforse 21.01.13 6:08pm
maybe not 0
sponge finger 21.01.13 5:31pm
sponge finger
Geraldine Winner told "calm down, dear". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.01.13 5:25pm
National shock as Google celebrates 236th birthday of someone we’ve heard of. 0
SJM 21.01.13 5:25pm
Boeing Dreamliner signed up for next round of Cillit Bang commercials. 0
SJM 21.01.13 5:06pm
Company administrators found to be "HMV positive" 0
AReader 21.01.13 4:58pm
HMV denies closing stores, they are just 'having boiler problems' 0
Ian Searle 21.01.13 4:43pm
Ian Searle
Michael's children get nothing as 'the Winner takes it all' 0
One Line Only 21.01.13 3:09pm
One Line Only
Winner loser 0
Sinnick 21.01.13 3:06pm
Obama gets a good telling off from his mother for swearing. 2
MADJEZ 21.01.13 3:01pm
Predator Drones used at Obama's Inauguration

Predator Drones will continuously fly over President Obama’s Inauguration today attached with aerial banners congratulating him. In addition to the banners, the drones will also carry AGM-114...

21.01.13 2:35pm
Michael Winner's 'Death Wish' award "long overdue" say critics 0
Nowherefast 21.01.13 2:35pm
Fernando Torres being “broken up for parts”...

Chelsea’s misfiring striker is being broken up and sold for parts, according to Brian Barnes, the club’s accountant. “Having had the player valued, during our annual stocktaking, we found he...

Tripod 21.01.13 2:26pm
David Cameron reschedules being ignored to Wednesday 0
One Line Only 21.01.13 1:40pm
One Line Only
Minister announces "snow days" as answer to welfare cuts

Despite heavy snow crippling the country today, the UK secretary for work and pensions Mr Iain Duncan Smith has arrived at his desk this afternoon just in time to launch his latest initiative to cut...

rogerg 21.01.13 1:24pm
Armstrong apologises for Direct Line adverts

Cyclical funnyman Alexander Armstrong has finally come clean, and apologised for his role in a series of Direct Line commercials. In a lengthy interview, Armstrong said he ‘didn’t feel guilty’...

21.01.13 9:33am
Aussie slip fielders abuse kids on slidey things in sledging culture clash 0
ronseal 21.01.13 9:02am
Elton John pregnant, expecting a ‘Christmas Baby'

Musical supremo Elton John has revealed that scientists have successfully made him pregnant, using the genetically modified womb from an old bear. Sir Elton, 65, has barely suffered any signs of...

21.01.13 8:30am
New video game challenges player to lose on "Easy" setting 0
Dumbnews 21.01.13 4:56am
Savile meat found in Lance Armstrong's horse

no more soon...

Squudge 20.01.13 11:51pm
Paddy Berzinski
Burgled fruit and veg stall owner left peachless 3
One Line Only 20.01.13 10:37pm
Lens Cap
Coughing pony peadophile feeling a little hoarse 0
One Line Only 20.01.13 9:59pm
One Line Only
29% more Tesco jokes than usual on NB. Lots more soon. 0
deskpilot3 20.01.13 9:45pm
Snow crisis reaches new heights as Lidl Monday specials delayed

More to follow...

apepper 20.01.13 9:15pm
Levator and superior tarsal muscles real eye openers

Look it up...

apepper 20.01.13 9:13pm
Sterile comedian has burger in seedless pun 0
One Line Only 20.01.13 9:12pm
One Line Only
Poetic policeman embraces new formalism; Claims beat bobbies belong in 1950's 0
Nowherefast 20.01.13 9:12pm
Winfrey fans condemn new musical: 'The Fat Bum of the Oprah' 0
One Line Only 20.01.13 8:56pm
One Line Only
Norwich Airport closed, Europe cut off. 1
godly1966 20.01.13 8:49pm