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Men seek urgent reassurance a stroke and a few tugs won’t turn them gay 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.04.12 9:49am
Duncan Biscuit
"I had a stroke and woke up beautiful" claims Samantha Brick 0
cinquecento 17.04.12 9:44am
100th birthday telegrams from the Queen to be axed due to cost of stamps

Buckingham Palace has announced today that the Queen will no longer be sending the traditional birthday greetings to those who reach their centenary birthday, due to the Royal Mail's planned rise in...

Mr_Johno 17.04.12 9:33am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Breivik a right-wing nutwho posted vile abuse on the internet, says Daily Mail 0
Oxbridge 17.04.12 9:17am
Prostate prognosis improves if wife is a high-pitched harridan 0
medici2471 17.04.12 9:09am
Prostate trial collapses and establishes impotent precedent 0
weematt 17.04.12 8:44am
Stroke victim rugby player discovers he's straight 0
medici2471 17.04.12 8:30am
Government announce fracking to recommence under Blackpool

and all future Tory Party conferences will be held in Brighton...

rustytruss 17.04.12 8:24am
Carjacker admits to ignoring Baby On Board stickers

A carjacker who left a Peugeot 306 containing two toddlers smouldering in a ditch has admitted that the Baby on Board stickers failed to have much of an impact on his decision-making process. The...

Gary Stanton 17.04.12 7:26am
Gods “unworried” by imminent Greek-led collapse of civilisation.

The mood on Olympus was relaxed – if not amused - by the likelihood that the country that brought humanity civilisation may now be responsible for causing its demise. In a short interview,...

nickb 17.04.12 7:03am
Man kidnapped by avant-garde composer exhibits signs of Stockhausen syndrome 1
Smart Alex 17.04.12 6:56am
Couple succeed in using week off to book next holiday

Chantelle and Stuart Sanders, 26 and 31, of Carshalton, say they are ecstatic after managing to book their next holiday during a week off work. They spent the first weekend of their break...

Des Custard 17.04.12 6:43am
Pippa Middleton avoids gun rap as front-on ID parade inconclusive

French police have announced that no charges will be laid against Pippa Middleton as a result of a weekend gun incident in Paris as none of the many witnesses got a clear view of her famous rear....

Yikes 17.04.12 6:12am
Will change of fracking policy by Government mean less fracking problems?

The Government have announced proposed changes to legislation concerning fracking. The need for this legislation has been driven by environmental concerns., Sometimes fracking can can be so noisy...

weematt 17.04.12 5:33am
Technology not needed to show footballers' pay crossing the line. 0
yussle 16.04.12 10:03pm
Wallowing in nostalgia not what it used to be claims BBC documentary 0
Mandy Lifeboat 16.04.12 9:00pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Documentary reveals Titanic sunk by Italian captain waving to friend on iceburg 0
quango 16.04.12 8:50pm
Seattle chemist finally receives consignment of sleeping tablets. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 7:38pm
Muamba leaves hospital on a free transfer. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 7:30pm
Para-Grand National fails to produce a winner

The equestrian equivalent of the Paralympics has once again failed to return a winner, according to an Aintree spokesperson. The race, which is open to any horses who have died or broken their legs...

Zadok the second 16.04.12 7:27pm
Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space

The South American trade association that represents the many lumber and farming companies in the Amazon rainforest have launched a new initiative to improve their public image., SADIST (South...

virtuallywill 16.04.12 5:51pm
Midfield Diamond
Drought Minister advises: 'Dump petrol from jerrycans and fill with water' 2
pinxit 16.04.12 5:07pm
Mensa introduce Minsa in bid to attract highly intelligent homosexuals

Hat tip to [url=]Yikes[/url] for the inspiration...

Haywood Manley 16.04.12 2:41pm
Haywood Manley
Professional Footballers Union seeks more inclusive approach

Professional Footballers Union seeks more inclusive approach The professional footballers association has announced an extension to its pledges to counter claims from professional footballers that...

yens123 16.04.12 1:49pm
Police Probe Bogus Office Grand National Sweepstake

Police in Hyde Cheshire, today charged a man with fraud having uncovered a bogus Grand National Office Sweepstake., Office Punters became suspicious when Mrs Ivy Benson drew perennial favourite,...

Scronnyglonkle 16.04.12 1:13pm
Man plans to press TV red button soon

A Wolverhampton pensioner is planning to press the red button on his television 'quite soon' after several years of thinking about the operation. Percy Wood,72, said that although he's often been...

roybland 16.04.12 12:15pm
Cameron and Pasty Saga- the story continues

"I am afraid that I may have inadvertently confused the public- it was a Cornish Pixy I ate in Leeds, not a pastie." admits Cameron, "I have to say the little buggers, though tasty, are full of bones...

Tom55 16.04.12 11:29am
Failed Kandoo wipe qualifies as teacher 0
Ian Searle 16.04.12 11:20am
Ian Searle
Iceberg asks 'Titanic' creator Julian Fellowes to write it out of next series. 0
Ian Searle 16.04.12 11:18am
Ian Searle
Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space

More later...

virtuallywill 16.04.12 10:59am