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Stock fund manager admits all his tips are already reflected in the fund price 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Onboard F1 communication to be replace by automated switchboard 1
hero2zero 4 years

Trials of a combination of Satnav and automated switchboard system have been completed ready for use in next year’s Formula One. Our reporter, who has followed its development closely, gives us an...

Scientists called New Research "more quotable": new research 0
Izziere 4 years

According to new research, changing your name to New Research makes you 93% more likely to be have your views used to fill up useless column inches with old wives tales. In her paper "Rent a quote...

New concept allows holidaymakers to take bogus posh holidays........ 0
Stan Laurel 4 years

New concept allows holidaymakers to take bogus posh holidays whilst staying on the cheap in the UK As people continue to struggle with the demands of the economy, a travel company has come up with a...

Chelsea lucky not to be just a stain on wife's dress 3
ramblesnake 4 years

says Bill during father of the bride speech...

DfE official:"We'd consult the public but we realised they don't know anything." 0
la maga 4 years

A civil servant at the Department for Education today controversially explained why the public are so seldom consulted on changes to the education system. "The public are ignorant," he claimed. "They...

Study suggests that a stitch in time may not save nine 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Reporting the findings of a three year study, in Nature, Professor Andrew Pale, indicates that a 'stich in time may save 3 or it may save 11 - there is no definitive answer. It would appear that the...

Woman achieves perfection through Google ads 1
Des Custard 4 years

Described as part Cameron Diaz with better skin, part Cheryl Cole with her own hair, Ashia Coppola, 22, has been named by the Evening Standard today as Britain’s most desirable woman. But Ashia...

Chavez won't confirm or deny messiahhood, points to record fighting Great Satan 0
la maga 4 years
No cash for steel, only bankers, says son of banking family, also Prime Minister 3
la maga 4 years
Go out with a bang, advises old television to youngsters; flatscreens roll eyes 1
la maga 4 years
Pope cancels visit after Cameron's "does he shit in the woods" gaffe. 2
the coarse whisperer 4 years
M6 lanes to be widened to allow drivers to avoid potholes 1
gaijintendo 4 years

"We believe this will increase the overall safety of drivers using the road". The 140 million pound scheme is expected to save 2 million pounds a year in pothole repairs...

Man With Degree in Media Studies Solves Life's Mystery 1
afternoonslow 4 years

Most regrettably, when it came to writing it up, he couldn't get the first line right, and drank at bottle of whisky., First line came., Couldn't for the life of him remember the rest., Life sails...

Dutch leave Afghanistan, Taliban smirk: 'We knew you couldn't handle mountains' 0
la maga 4 years
Crossing your legs could pose a health risk 1
theumpire 4 years

Crossing your legs could pose a health risk, according to a medical report released earlier this year. Sitting with the legs crossed hampers the flow of blood in the legs and could cause problems...

Authorities in Japan are surprised when they try to congatulate a man 2
arrghgarry 4 years

becoming the oldest man in Japan turning 111 ,it appears he was ill (very) not 111 he had died 30 years previous...

Government outsources entire benefits system to the Taliban 1
la maga 4 years

In a bid to both discourage bogus benefits claimants and increase legitimate employment opportunities for Afghan militants, the government is to outsource jobcentres and the benefits system to the...

Jaqui Smith applies for 77K job at the BBC boasting her vast experience 0
arrghgarry 4 years

of fiddling expenses ,I am a team player and I am sure that I can show the BBC board a thing or two about fiddling expenses .I am sure I will fit in well with this group of idle ,well connected...

Pamplona to host next year's Love Parade. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Anything-I-happen-not-to-like-phobia makes it into the DSM V. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
After Ronaldo Cristiano`s gains complete custody of his first child 0
arrghgarry 4 years

he denies that he is the New Michael Jackson ,Mark Lester did mention that he gave Ronaldo a bit of spunk once ,and should Ronaldo ask "any more " he would be willing to step up to the plate or dish...

Daily Mail readers vote Nick Clegg 'Personality of the Year' 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Gloria Bartram, writing for the Mail, says, 'there is no doubt that Nick has left an indelible mark on the fabric that is British Society.'...

Man spends a day at work down the sewer to raise money for BBC Luvvies in Need 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The British public has risen to the challenge of raising money for the BBC Luvvies in Need appeal, raising £145 each in an endless variety of zany way., Bob Jones, from Croydon, spent the entire...

X-Factor's Joe McElderry…Gay my arse ! 1
BlackAndroid 4 years

Cliff Richards speaking from his Barbados mansion today hit out in anger at yet another gay acting straight man trying to steal the limelight. Sir Cliff ranted “That little shyster is about as gay...

Dame Judi to be next Queen Mum? 0
euanc 4 years

Sources close to the palace reveal that the Grande Dame of British Theatre, Dame Judi Dench, is being strongly tipped to take on the vacant role of Queen Mother. "Her regal presence and enthusiasm...

Israeli President accuses English of anti-Semitism 0
ramblesnake 4 years

and always favouring the wogs...

West Ham ease financial crisis by selling 12,000 fans. 5
bonjonelson 4 years

In a unexpected move, the management of West Ham United have announced they have taken advantage of this summer's transfer window to sell up to 12,000 of their fans to rival clubs. Management hope...

Blue Peter's Zombie Watch critcised by Parent-Teacher Associations. 1
bonjonelson 4 years

BBC Childrens' programme Blue Peter has come under fire today from the National Association of Parent-Teacher Associations for this year's "Zombie Watch", where children are being encouraged to go...

Lyn Barber claims to have slept with 50 men during two terms 3
arrghgarry 4 years

meanwhile 50 men are having traumatic recall symptoms...