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Burger bars to be fined if customers don't put on weight 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

The Minister for Health, the late Cyril Smith, has announced draconian fines for burger outlets whose customers don't put on weight as a result of their consumption., 'Let's face it,' he said...

Australia prays for 1 day cyclone test 0
AndyOverhead 4 years

Australia is hoping that the Cyclone soon to tour their sodding, oops, I mean sodden, country will not be a long one., "Having studied our recent form when visited by such storms, we think the best...

Courses in Rioting to be Introduced in UK Universities 0
maxshreck 4 years

Following some of the shoddy and poorly orchestrated demonstrations that took place in the capital late last year, the Government are proposing to introduce a range of new academic courses, such as...

Sarah Palin demands removal of Mubarak Obama 3
Des Custard 4 years

Sarah Palin has pledged the support of the Republicans for the millions of protesters demanding the removal of President Mubarak Obama. In a statement on YouTube she revealed that, in a break with...

Sleaze back as Clegg accused of knocking one off at 3pm each day 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Samaritans diversify into sex chat-lines: “How are you feeling, big boy?”... 0
Doylem 4 years
JIH offers to join JJB and JDS for a threesome 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
100 acre woods for sale 0
4ty2 4 years

bidding open for everyone including Disney.

Sherwood Forest sale set-back after Robin Hood steals it back for the poor 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Sex chat line staff to be renamed talk therapists 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Willets asks Pfizer to work on a cure for Government impotence 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
New Pfizer treatment better than viagra 0
4ty2 4 years

Tested successfully on their own male and female staff it is showing both sexes are affected in a similar way confirming that things will be harder for longer. However they felt a bit overwhelmed for...

Pfizer pf*cks off 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Mubarak offer of circle, owl, eye, wavy line ‘wholly ox head’ say protestors 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
"Cairo motorists still honking their support" insists Mubarak 0
yussle 4 years
UnDignitas - Helping Make Those Last Few Years Frustrating & Helpless 1
thisisall1word 4 years

Let UnDignitas take the stress and worry out the passing of a loved one, close friend or annoying work colleague in this exclusive offer to readers of newsbiscuit/spam email/other websites/etc Many...

Protestors insist Mubarak is still in denial. 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Kindle launches dog eared e-book for reluctant e-readers. 1
Stan 4 years

Kindle have revealed plans for their next generation platform aimed at traditional book readers who have so far proved to be resistant to the increasingly popular portable e-book reader. More...

Yellow brick road to be made dual carriageway. 5
Nick McCarr 4 years

Just announced in budget...

Massive blizzard forces millions of teleworkers to actually work 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Al MacRrahi's prisoner transfer agreement wasn't attempt to curb overcrowding 0
4ty2 4 years

of the British prison system but just a misunderstanding about trade deals. Looks like they were trying to send a scotsman to Libya to help a suffering oil trade. Currently the Scottish government is...

Junction hobos call halt to ‘shouting at traffic’ strategy 1
malgor 4 years

WASH, the Worldwide Association of Street Hobos, announced today that it was ending its programme of ‘getting the message across to traffic’ and will begin the withdrawal of ‘brave, frontline...

Jasmine Revolution fails to progress beyond Egypt as name is "too poofy" 2
Nick McCarr 4 years

Media considers renaming it "Old Spice" Revolution...

Scientists defrost last remaining piece of Christmas cake from the 80s 0
Nick McCarr 4 years
Online crime map nicked 1
Zadok the second 4 years

The Home Office today confirmed that their latest technological marvel in the fight against crime and illegal activity – an online map of crime hotspots – has been stolen. “This is just...

Three police dogs reported as working undercover at Battersea Dogs' Home. 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Disappointment as Cameron realises that the headline says "£50m for Torres". 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Lake Windermere to be filled in, to solve chronic car-parking problem... 0
Doylem 4 years
"Internet running out of stupid usernames", says Doylem... 2
SugarTits69 4 years
"Internet running out of stupid usernames", says sugartits69... 5
Doylem 4 years