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Lemmings down 4%. More $oon. 1
red 05.08.11 8:32am
Italian finance minister to boost markets with striptease

Italian Finance Minister Carla Romagna has promised 'a stiff response' to market jitters over a possible default by her debt-laden country. Addressing parliament she vowed to take off an item of...

Darkbill 2.0 04.08.11 10:40pm
Darkbill 2.0
Countryside Alliance wants more affordable rural housing - but not round here... 0
deskpilot3 04.08.11 10:25pm
Sooty silent on phone hacking claims. More soon 2
nickb 05.08.11 3:12pm
MP's facing 'impossible choice' between two huge fibbers

MPs' say they have no plans to call Piers Morgan for questioning over the hacking of Heather Mill's phone; while they struggle to decide which of the bare-faced whopper-mongers they should believe....

Darkbill 2.0 04.08.11 8:30pm
Darkbill 2.0
Mareseatoatsanddoeseatdoats, andlittlelambsaretasty. 0
Al OPecia 04.08.11 8:23pm
Al OPecia
The longer you live, the more likely you'll reach the age of 100 say experts. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 4:21pm
Insurance company pays out after meerkat free gift causes house fire. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 4:10pm
New Zealand All Blacks questioned by Met over haka scandal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 4:06pm
Tea Party expels activist found awake, smelling coffee, reading writing on wall

Leading Tea Party activist Randy Shitforbrains was last night sensationally expelled from the movement., In a statement, a spokesman said Shitforbrains had been seen reading some writing he found...

FraserWords 15.08.11 9:24am
Research shows 90% of ideas are derived from excrement from bulls 0
Dumbnews 04.08.11 3:34pm
Smartphone addiction rising among thick people 2
Christopher Frost 04.08.11 3:48pm
World's most allergic man slams 'rubbish' hayfever sufferers

A slight upturn in the weather has seen people all over the country, who didn’t play in the dirt enough as children, recommence sneezing, sniffling and discussing the pollen count. But Paul Masters...

Vertically Challenged Giant 04.08.11 3:38pm
Asda introduces "slapping friendly areas" for shoppers with small children

Supermarket chain Asda is to create 'slapping areas' where frustrated parents can legally hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers. "Like it or not, administering reasonable...

nickb 05.08.11 7:28pm
The All New Jeni B
African bull elephant sold as micro-pig

A Burton-on-Trent couple have started legal proceedings against a micro-pig breeder for supplying them with an African elephant. The buyers purchased the ‘pig’ in good faith, only for the...

Dick Everyman 05.08.11 9:08pm
Dick Everyman
After Hacking Claims Admitted, News International Return Leg to Heather Mills 0
thisisall1word 04.08.11 1:18pm
Italian economy joins long list of things Berlusconi has fucked 4
Qoxiivi 04.08.11 9:53pm
Merseyside Police sack 5 Officers for 28.8 actions leading to gross misconduct

more later...

virtuallywill 04.08.11 12:08pm
Camden drug dealer declares bankruptcy

now his best client has passed away...

Leeboy007 04.08.11 11:55am
Clinton to launch new 'Fuck Off and Die' cards

to be sent to bosses everywhere ( sorry bad day at work )...

Leeboy007 04.08.11 1:33pm
William Pumpton
Obama asks birthday well-wishers to send cash instead of the usual gift vouchers

I used to love getting a 50p sellotaped into an envelope! Although i don't recall having a debt crisis when i was 6...

button 04.08.11 12:58pm
Pepsi delighted after £300m Coke seizure 3
simonjmr 04.08.11 4:52pm
Scotland to get deep fried broadband. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 12:57pm
Rock ‘n’ roll voted ‘the new rock ‘n’ roll’

Performers and fans alike are celebrating today after a nationwide poll officially named rock ‘n’ roll as the new rock ‘n’ roll. Rock ‘n’ roll was knocked from its 50 year place in pole...

jp1885 04.08.11 5:24pm
"MPs are sexual magnets" agrees Eric Pickles, whilst rubbing his nipples 0
thackaray 04.08.11 11:10am
'Most valuable' plastic 2 litre bottle of cider sells for £7.50 0
jp1885 04.08.11 10:23am
UN Declares Genocide "Bad"

Brutal tyrants who wanted to purge their lands of hated ethnic minorities with the approval of the international community, had their hopes cruelly dashed when it was announced that after a long...

Textbook 04.08.11 10:25am
Hacking Heather Mills ‘wishful thinking’ says McCartney 0
jp1885 04.08.11 10:19am
Last remaining cop not featured on TV makes Big Brother Bid (version 2)

PC Andrew Jenkins feels isolated amongst his colleagues as he is the only remaining police officer in the country not to feature in a fly on the wall documentary. “Thanks to brilliant and...

button 04.08.11 10:44am
Halfords runs out of ‘IE user on board’ signs

Shit - just seen this story was a hoax. Thought it was merely a piece of conveniently interpreted 'research' paid for by Firefox, Opera or the like. But it’s not. It was entirely fabricated. So,...

Qoxiivi 06.08.11 12:28pm