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Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa 1
Ludicity 4 years

New laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil. ‘The Blackberry burqa means that people can still...

Authorities admit "bad week" to pebble dash stoning asylum woman's safe house 1
rickwestwell 4 years
A Think Tank thinks that the BBC Licence fee should be abolished 6
arrghgarry 4 years

The think tank`s Chairman volunteer Jonathan Ross says he has 55 million people backing, him. see Yahoo...

Confusion as Gulf states unveil blackberry flan 2
rickwestwell 4 years
Shopping. 1
biggles 4 years

3lb of new potatoes, loaf of brown bread, onion, large carrot, handcuffs, leather whip, Daily Mail, Large pot of vasaline, nipple clamps, tub of choclate ice cream, wooden shelf size 1m33cm...

Man who crossed his legs wakes up next to a horse's head. 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Oh why oh why oh why oh why 1
biggles 4 years

oh why oh why oh why me said Mr Newsbiscuit,why doesnt he take his fuckng gnomes someplace else,oh why oh why oh why...

Uncle Ben and Aunt Bessie announce split 1
ianslat 4 years

Famous foodie couple Uncle Ben and Aunt Bessie have today announced that they are to divorce. Citing irreconcilable culinary differences, Aunt Bessie told Heat magazine ‘we just don’t feel like...

X-Factor winner realises he's gay 8 months after everyone else does 2
Oxbridge 4 years
Ha ha harr 2
biggles 4 years

Trevor laughed as he lay in bed,ha ha ho ho ha harrr stop it please he giggled to himself as he tickled his freshly shaven testicles with a giant feather.Finally he stopped and began to realise the...

Scientists Announce ‘Enough is Enough’ as First True, Perpetual Motion 0
mugwump 4 years

In today's keynote speech at the 13th International Perpetual Motion Symposium in Stafford, England, scientists have designated the phrase “Enough is Enough”, as the first true form of perpetual...

Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari claims asylum in France 1
afternoonslow 4 years

He has been sent to Calais where he was last seen, with a small groups of invaders (or ‘clandestines ‘ as the French authorities refer to them), ambling around, possibly on their way to the...

Pope converts to Islam 0
PluckyMunky 4 years
Team GB seal victory in fish-related events. 1
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Jacqui Smith applies for BBC job. Husband applies to Channel 5. 0
Ludicity 4 years
I can't believe it's not milk 0
ramblesnake 4 years

now on sale in cloned supermarkets...

Yousuf called up to Pakisan test side. Cat Stevens rushes to buy new bat 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Government redesignates homeless as street artists 4
Mrblacker 4 years

In a controversial move, the Government is to chsange the status of people living rough across the UK. The proposal from Iain Duncan-Smith, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, would see...

UK 2012 Paralympics hopes boosted with new events 3
Mrblacker 4 years

The chance of Team GB winning a record haul of medals at the London 2012 Paralympics have received a shot in the arm from the International Olympic Committee. After months of consultation, the IOC...

Boris Johnson launches 60ft long bendy bike 7
Ludicity 4 years

London Mayor, Boris Johnson, has unveiled his latest solution to the capital’s transport problems – the bendy bike – a 60ft long, articulated bicycle that bends in the middle. ‘The bendy...

‘Sarah’s law’ to be adopted in Eire: Paedophiles will be forced to wear cassocks 0
Stan Laurel 4 years

Following the Home Office announcement that the scheme known as ‘Sarah’s Law’ is to be extended in the UK, it was confirmed that plans are well advanced to introduce a similar scheme in Eire....

Prince A sarky artisticless titheaded narcisitic antagonistic vegan or 0
arrghgarry 4 years

SATNAV, as he is now known, heralded the end of the internet ,It would seem Itunes will not pay him millions in advance for his outdated music .How can they be so goddam rude and shortsighted fumes...

White House admits that bombing Iran will not make everyone here rich. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 4 years
Ronnie Corbett bigger in the flesh than on TV 1
Des Custard 4 years

Appearing at a charity fundraiser yesterday, comedian Ronnie Corbett once again attracted comments that unlike almost every other celebrity he actually appears bigger in the flesh than on the screen....

Crushing your legs could present a health risk 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

(with thanks and acknowledgements to Mr Umpire, below)...

Vanessa Feltz eats pepper spray 6
BlackAndroid 4 years

The self righteous opinionated lard arse Vanessa Feltz arrived at Hopital Saint Elisabeth in Belguim in a laden down Serco flatbed truck for her appointment to be fitted with a gastric band this...

Steve Jobs admits Apple doesn't have iPhone app for "making calls" 0
Nick McCarr 4 years

Probably been done and a bit late but what the heck?...

Vanessa phelps ,John Prescoot hail the new product to keep fat people 0
arrghgarry 4 years

going while dancing at night clubs.The new "Tab of lard " from Nestle promises to keep fatties keep going until they reach the kebab van outside .Vanessa and John both special type Alpha Bulimists...

Pakistan row latest: 'We Might Have Terrorism But the UK Has BP' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

More playground action later...

PM confirms Trident replacement to be paid for through lottery funding 0
bonjonelson 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today confirmed that Whitehall would no longer be able to fund the estimate £20 Billion cost of new Trident nuclear submarine missile systems (which the government have...