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Red Lead 0
euanc 4 years

New red leader for old style socialist party. North Korea ready for next generation - more soon...

'Back to normal for Labour,' says Lord Kinnock 0
Zadok the second 4 years

Kinnock has hailed Ed Miliband's "magnificent" first speech as Labour leader, telling activists: "It's just like the good old days." The former Labour leader said Mr Miliband would bring back the...

Entire Star Wars saga to be converted into heroin, George Lucas announces 0
rickwestwell 4 years

Director George Lucas has reacted swiftly to news that the global recession may not last as long as feared, by announcing a new release of the Star Wars saga in time to suck up the small amount of...

Spot fixing latest - Whistle Blower Blows Whistle 0
DPGumby 4 years

In another hidden camera sting set to rock football to its very core, World Cup final referee Howard Webb has been caught on camera admitting how spot fixing is rife amongst the refereeing fraternity...

Lord Prescott 'envious' over Ed Miliband's claim to 'get it' all the time 0
pinxit 4 years
Mice issue warning over bread-making equipment 0
Zadok the second 4 years

The Mouse Workplace Safety Commission today issued an urgent warning over the dangers of unregulated scurrying near human bread-makers. The warning follows a call from a senior mouse demanding that...

'Labours Next Top Leader' clanger, as wrong contestant named winner. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Ed Milliband only told after giving acceptance speech. More Soon...

Gary Glitter heads for N Korea following news that grooming popular with leader 0
ianslat 4 years
North & South Korea On Brink of War, Over What Lyrics Kim Wilde Sung 1
mugwump 4 years
Harriet Harman confused about which Miliband was elected 2
Sinnick 4 years

She woke up when Ed Miliband stopped speaking and started to applaud spontaneously. However, when David Miliband sitting next to her reminded her that it was Ed rather than himself on stage, she...

David Miliband Tells Harriet “Its all our fault!” 1
hero2zero 4 years

A lip-reader at the Labour Party conference claimed that he had “Read” David telling Harriet how it all went wrong, “It was just the same with Ant & Dec, nobody knew which was which, I...

Michael Jackson video game released... 1
be reasonable 4 years

not suitable to play with children...

Open University cracks down on plagiarism... 3
be reasonable 4 years

"we've been copying a real university for years", said a spokesman...

New Blackberry phone model to incorporate on/off switch 3
bonjonelson 4 years

For the first time in its 14 year history, Research in Motion's Blackberry mobile phone handset is going to come fitted with a function allowing the device to be turned off. "To be honest, this was...

International Jewish Conspiracy plots next steps in wrecking Mel Gibson's career 6
Oxbridge 4 years

Senior Jewish conspirators from across the globe are convening at a secret location in Los Angeles this week to further their ongoing schemes. High on the agenda, second only to the continued...

Arsenal 3 - Partizan Belgrade 1 1
Mafaking Carwongo 4 years

Gunners beat the 10 man Serbian Partisans 3 - 1. 'I only wish we'd sent them out there during the Kosovo crisis.' Said a miltary spokesman, and football fan...

Graceland gardeners find Elvis still breathing 1
Sinnick 4 years
barristers last words before he was killed were "I can`t hear you clearly 0
arrghgarry 4 years

if I dont put the gun down youll what ?"...

Little Boy Blue sick of having to "blow his own trumpet" 0
Ian Searle 4 years

Little Bo Peep banned from keeping sheep...

Special previews for Private Eye Readers of 'Legend of the Grauniad' in D3 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Miliband E Shocks Conference By Stating That His Parents Were Wrong... 0
LtFrankSlade 4 years

To Have David. The new Labour leader who stressed he was not born at the time distanced himself from his parents' decision to have David back in 1965. "It's easy with hindsight to see why they...

Sky launches AD-HD TV for people with short attention sp… 0
Ian Searle 4 years

Is that an aeroplane or a helicopter?...

Al-Qaeda plot uncovered, vegetable crop in ruins 0
QorbeQ 4 years

UK security officers, working on behalf of intelligence agency MI5, have uncovered a suspected al-Qaeda vegetable plot on an allotment just outside Hampstead Heath in North London. The site remains...

Workers Who Have to Clock Off to Smoke Discover The Secret On How to Quit 0
IABP 4 years

Workers who have to clock off to smoke have discovered the secret on how to quit smoking. Since the policy was introduced virtually all of the smokers have cut down considerably but most have...

Vulnerable elderly forced to pay for medical care. 0
Mafaking Carwongo 4 years

Stephen Dorrell, chairman of the health committee says 'patients with dementia used to get free care in NHS geriatric hospitals, now they are being forced to pay., The good news is they don't...

Al-Qaeda terror plot 0
Mafaking Carwongo 4 years

Security agencies in Europe say there is probably a significant plot to carry out terrorist raids in Europe. Some time. Somewhere. Because that's what they do isn't it. And anyway we are desperate...

Obama announces adoption of Jimi Hendrix’s version of the Star Spangled Banner 0
JayGee 4 years

Barack Obama has announced plans to change the US national anthem, amid a fierce backlash from traditionalist factions. After a long process of focus groups and consultation with his wife, the...

Basil Brush warns cuts in wartime will have grave consequences. 0
Mafaking Carwongo 4 years

He can be forgiven for not seeing the awful pun, he is afterall, only a fox., And a Tory...

Mothercare tell Miliband job in toy and pram department has already been filled 0
Nobby Holder 4 years

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...

'Disaster' to be redefined after model reads out wrong name... 0
be reasonable 4 years

Australian media have completely redefined the word 'disaster' after the compare of 'this years top model' named the wrong girl as the winner of the competition live on TV. The error was immediately...