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Channel 5 documentary maker celebrates meeting yet another impossible deadline

An astonishing run of luck has seen a Channel 5 documentary maker record his 100th successful programme, despite constantly being up against an impossible deadline, in life or death conditions in...

ronseal 01.05.13 4:25am
Miliband to receive BAFTA for Inner Monologue

David Miliband will receive a special award for outstanding achievement in “biting your own tongue” at this year's TV BAFTAs, organisers have announced. David’s contribution, to the long...

Wrenfoe 30.04.13 11:07pm
Branston Pickle found to contain cubes of Parsnip

Consumer confidence was not so much rocked as hurled against a wall and allowed to dribble stickily to the floor when Great British iconic brand Branston was revealed to contain small cubes of the...

Ironduke 30.04.13 10:32pm
Only White Folk can call each other honkies, tuts Reginald D Hunter 0
ronseal 30.04.13 9:26pm
McQueen Lookalike Moyes to get the Bullitt?

Everton Manager David Moyes is currently the subject of much speculation about his future at the cash-strapped club.Could the craggy Steve McQueen of the Prem be planning a Great Escape from the...

Nimrod 30.04.13 9:11pm
Reginald D Hunter "ashamed" at using "F-word"

Nigger comedian Reginald D Hunter said today that he apologised unreservedly for using the word "Footballer" in a comedy routine. "I don't know what came over me" he mumbled in an embarrassed...

Son of Barnabas 30.04.13 9:05pm
Obama says Disney World must close

US President Barack Obama has pledged a new push to close torture camps at the controversial Walt Disney World Resort, Florida, amid a growing obesity among visitors. The UN has called the continued...

Wrenfoe 30.04.13 8:57pm
Penioners 'must work harder' for privileges...

Pensioners in England and Wales must work harder for privileges such as TVs, the government has said. Pensioners will be made to wear a uniform during their first two years in retirement and their...

SilverWinterSky 30.04.13 8:52pm
'Yewtree' detectives tell ageing suspects 'You can hide but you can't run' 2
Smart Alex 30.04.13 7:23pm
Prisoners "must work harder" to earn right not to watch daytime TV. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 30.04.13 6:13pm
Al OPecia
Britain ‘comes out’ as openly racist

Today, Britain issued a formal statement saying it was coming out as openly racist. It was a move that stunned many of the country’s fans. Giving his reaction to the UK’s ‘outing’, President...

Darkbill 2.0 30.04.13 6:07pm
Al OPecia
Thieves use tanker lorry to rob sperm bank 0
sydalg 30.04.13 5:45pm
Government claims Universal Credit for everything 0
sillybugger 30.04.13 4:59pm
Athlete with drugs up his arse accused of 'doping ring'

Some more soon...

Sally1985 30.04.13 4:18pm
Digestives "indigestible" says study

Britain's favourite biscuit does not live up to its name, according to a study undertaken by Reading University. Professor Mary Smythurst, Peak Frean Chair of gastrobiology at REading University...

nickb 30.04.13 4:17pm
Polytheist physicist finds whole pantheon of God particles 1
sydalg 30.04.13 4:00pm
BBC to broadcast tribute to Hitler

The BBC is to go ahead with the broadcast of a tribute to the "much loved" Adolf Hitler despite the rumours of "unsavoury" behaviour attributed to the controversial former head of state...

apepper 30.04.13 3:57pm
BT launches public pay-a-call telephone boxes

BT has announced that it is widening its telephone services portfolio to meet the various demands of users of its network of public telephone boxes. As part of the new plans the Company will work...

Dick Everyman 30.04.13 3:46pm
Dick Everyman
"Bee Strong" helpline established following neonicotinoid ban

Following a Europe-wide ban on neonicotinoids, addicted bees are to be offered telephone counselling to help them cope with withdrawal. The 'Bee Strong' campaign will target worker bees through...

monkeyrepublic 30.04.13 3:40pm
Crooks lose out on privileges as bankers' bonuses capped

Some more soon...

Sally1985 30.04.13 3:22pm
End of cushy life for pampered poultry in major shakeup of battery system 0
sydalg 30.04.13 3:08pm
North Korea accuses Obama of racism as he uses the "N" word. More soon.

Bit late, I know...

Al OPecia 30.04.13 3:07pm
Al OPecia
Paul Daniels said dismissed claims he will be executed as an offering to Zeus…

Confidence trickster Paul Daniels has today denied the rumours that he will offer his earthly body as a sacrifice to the Greek God Zeus. Hellenic Neo-Paganism groups called for the hairless magician...

McKenzie 30.04.13 2:22pm
Three wise monkeys former owners of North Wales care homes gain promotion to BBC 0
irreverendJ 30.04.13 2:00pm
Parsley said to be " gutted" to be left out of Lions squad 2
irreverendJ 30.04.13 1:50pm
Ed Miliband sent to Afghanistan in latest Drone attack

Some more soon...

Sally1985 30.04.13 1:49pm
Pussy pride in uproar over Lions omissions

The union of Lions or Big Pussy Pride as it is commonly known is said to be in uproar following the announcement of Warren Gatland’s squad to tour Australia later in the year., Whilst talk has...

irreverendJ 30.04.13 1:45pm
Prince Charles throws huge party as he learns that the Queen is to abdicate

Prince Charles was today said to be 'deliriously happy' when he heard that the Queen is to abdicate. He was seen rushing round the gardens at Highgrove House in his underwear shouting 'At last!...

John Wiltshire 30.04.13 1:44pm
Son of Barnabas
Mountaineers Fight To Reach Summit Of Everest

This is a rubbish attempt, given the potential of the news story. Surely someone on here can do a much better job?

Titus 30.04.13 1:38pm
Essex bag lady gets herself a vag-jazzle 0
Son of Barnabas 30.04.13 1:38pm
Son of Barnabas