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Football fans’ relief as Olympic spirit fails to influence Community Shield

Concerns that the positive sporting messages promoted by the London 2012 Olympic games could adversely affect Premiership football were proved to be unfounded at the weekend. At the traditional...

Midfield Diamond 14.08.12 3:16pm
New uniform of "mask and swag bag" to be issued to train conductors 0
simonjmr 14.08.12 2:46pm
Team GB could provoke European Community backlash says Rumpoy 0
ronseal 14.08.12 2:23pm
Tomlinson fit to return to work, says pathologist. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 14.08.12 1:29pm
Big Fairy Creases - concerns for laundry sector. 0
timyarby 14.08.12 11:33am
Pukka Pies shares up 20% as Euromillions winners announced 1
tedweasel 14.08.12 10:41am
"Dishonest" Tomlinson pathologist actually appprentice bricklayer, claim experts

The pathologist who wrongly diagnosed the cause of death of G20 protestor Ian Tomlinson as ‘dodgy ticker’ was an apprentice bricklayer who had forged his degree certificates, according to a...

Gary Stanton 14.08.12 10:09am
Gary Stanton
Call for ban on BBC News as confidence returns during news blackout

The Institute of Directors has reported a significant increase in confidence amongst it’s members over the last few weeks. Director General of the IoD Simon Walker said ‘First indications were...

medici2471 14.08.12 9:57am
Sideboards are the new must-have since Wiggins success

Britain’s artisan furniture makers have reported an extraordinary rise in demand for sideboards since the Olympics and are attributing it to Team GB’s success; in particular cycling gold...

Duff 14.08.12 9:27am
Usain Bolt claims stubbed toe in an attempt to qualify for paralymic team 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.08.12 8:28am
Boost for economy as someone buys rail season ticket

The British economy received a huge boost when someone walked into King's Cross station and ordered a season ticket between London and Edinburgh. "That's a £12 billion injection into the money...

apepper 14.08.12 8:01am
Hard of hearing religious extremist regrets attempted suicide bumming 0
nyarlathotep 14.08.12 12:25am
Commuter maced in Monday morning conversation error

Canadian tourist Alan Silvers' summer holiday came to an abrupt end on Monday morning as he was temporarily blinded with mace whilst attempting to strike up conversation with a fellow Central line...

BAJDixon 13.08.12 10:38pm
Footballers condemn 'Shameful' behaviour of Olympic athletes

Footballers from across the country have spoken out in disgust at the behaviour of Olympic athletes during the 2012 London Games. [i]"Now that the games are over, I feel that I can finally break my...

WatcherMark 13.08.12 9:37pm
Cameron censured by 1922 committee for 'Wiggo' sideboards

The prime minister was today criticised by the influential, backbencher 1922 committee, for wearing fake Bradley Wiggins sideboards at last night's Olympic closing ceremony. Cameron was paying...

Alfred Noakes 13.08.12 9:10pm
Alfred Noakes

Flame throwers all the rage at Brazil games, 2016...

Jesse Bigg 13.08.12 7:55pm
Jesse Bigg
Olympic flame goes out; mother flame tells it to be back by midnight

More to follow...

apepper 13.08.12 6:08pm
Human dressage to become Olympic event

Human dressage is set to become a new Olympic event from Rio 2016. Typical dressage involves a posh person sitting very still on a horse as the thoroughly trained thoroughbred performs a series of...

kga6 13.08.12 5:38pm
Todmorden Greco-Roman Wrestling Club braced for influx of inspired youth

Brian Gloss-Paint, the president of the TGRWC has explained that their doors are open and are looking forward to increasing their membership as result of the olympic coverage. As the third largest...

grottymonty 13.08.12 5:13pm
Post Box Miracle Cures Surrey Vicar's Internet Identity Crisis

The Reverend Brian Elshaw of Carshalton's All Angel's Parish Church is convinced that God has personally intervened to guide his hand, after delivering him from a fruitless attempt to secure an...

Nowherefast 13.08.12 5:07pm
Primary school corridors to be fitted with hurdles, says Gove. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.08.12 4:10pm
British rocket scientist produces creamy lettuce

More to follow...

apepper 13.08.12 3:46pm
Cameron's school sport plans could produce Nietzschean Übermenschen experts warn

David Cameron's plans for two hours of competitive sport a day in primary schools could produce a race of Nietzschean Supermen,' child psychologists warn. 'Within a generation,' said educational...

roybland 13.08.12 3:24pm
Fears that London's post Olympic friendliness is fading fast

Fears are growing in the wake of the Olympics that the capital's much-praised feel good factor and friendliness, said to have been in evidence everywhere in the city during the past fortnight, is...

Duff 13.08.12 3:05pm
'Six inches does the job,' says poll 1
Hooch 13.08.12 2:52pm
Two solid weeks of TV watching credited for Team GB Gold medal haul

"I earned everyone of those medals, through blood, sweat, beer and scratchings" said 45 year old Dave Berrywood. "Without my Olympian endeavour I'm sure we would only have won half of those medals,...

simonjmr 13.08.12 1:58pm
Australia finally to be tried for war crimes

Early this morning the United Nations finally charged Australia for war crimes, crimes against humanity and serious grouchiness because of lack of Olympic golds, and Team GB successes. The UN motion...

simonjmr 13.08.12 1:53pm
Fans disappointed by lack of chair shots in Olympic Wrestling Final

The Olympic wrestling gold medal matches was competed in the spirit of sportsmanship, involved no cheating and the better man won, much to the annoyance of wrestling fans around the globe....

Hooch 13.08.12 1:42pm
Vatican hails drop in choirboy STD rates as vindication of new condom policy 0
pere floza 13.08.12 1:02pm
pere floza
8000 illegal immigrants deported from Heathrow today, claims UK Border Agency. 0
dominic_mcg 13.08.12 12:51pm