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British Scientists Develop new technology that makes an odd noise 0
arflaethel 4 years

Top International British scientists have finnished work on the latest instrument invented for no particular purpose that makes a devilish squaking sort noise at random intervals. The device, to...

New Ricky Jervias project is less controversial, Wikijokes with Julian Assange 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Evian introduces bottled air from the Alps 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Tunisian self-immolation reports "spreading like wildfire". More soon. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Music Mogul Writes Own Newsbiscuit Story 0
Textbook 4 years

Actual quote: Jimmy Iovine, head of Interscope, one of America's most powerful record companies and publisher of American Idol releases, on the new season of American Idol "We're looking for an...

Colin Firth to star in King’s Speech sequel, The Queen’s Lisp 7
Ludicity 4 years

Award winning actor Colin Firth has confirmed that he will star in a sequel to The King’s Speech, The Queen’s Lisp, in which he plays the young Queen Elizabeth II as she struggles to overcome a...

Fat Offensive Joker Gervais Upsets Fat Offensive Americans at Golden Globes 6
wolfie 4 years

The world's biggest, most tasteless joke, America, sat horrified, and was barely able to stuff Nachos, Oreos and Burgers into its shapelessly fat face as Ricky Gervais laid into their usually...

Talking Tie to Replace Clegg as Deputy PM 0
wolfie 4 years

For years the unsung hero of backbench politics, Timmy the talking Tie today took the commons by storm in his maiden speech, with comparisons to the unimpressive Clegg leading for calls for a...

Facebook demise rumours "being spread by word-of-mouth". More soon 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Winter-pothole repair work contracted to Chinese firm. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 4 years

20 year contract, with reconduction clauses, cost plus 5% for overruns and one helluva backhander. Several, actually. More soon...

UK Jobless total soars to 2.5m Osbourne says this just isn’t enough 1
Ian Searle 4 years
Antarctica to host 2026 World Cup 2
henton49er 4 years

In an extension of their policy to bring football to new countries, FIFA have announced that they have appointed Antarctica to host the 2026 World Cup. FIFA chief, Sepp Blatter explained that "with...

Norfolk County Council to lay off 400 staff. 3 families affected 1
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Jonathan Ross's daughter replies to sexuality allegations 0
greg various 4 years

"That's so not funny Dad."...

NewsBiscuit announces Feb Writer Of The Month before the official closing date. 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

Trading Standards confirmed they have received several complaints and are investigating the matter...

Wedding Shock: Kate an American divorcee 2
wwwiz 4 years

Buckingham Palace was reeling today with the news that Kate Middleton is actually American and, moreover, a divorcee. Born in 1982 as Kate Middleton in the Appalachian town of Dismal Hollow, she was...

100 days to royal wedding: Middleton still refusing to give out. 0
SingingHinny 4 years
Cheers and booze... 2
Doylem 4 years

“The Hampstead & Highgate Fine Wines and Victuals Company has been expanding into the North of England”, says Managing Director, Brian Fletcher. “As we moved beyond our Home Counties...

And now the end is near 2
Tammy Flugh 4 years

And so I face the final curtain, My friend I'll say it clear, I'll state my case of which I'm certain I've lived a life that's full, I traveled each and every highway, But since I lost the court...

unmarried couple told that they could not have a room won landmark legal case 3
4ty2 4 years

following the decline they moved into stable with the local sheep, were they took delivery of a baby son from gestational companion any gostwriters available? hopefully more soon...

ruby ruby ruby 1
Lord Lucan 4 years

berlusconi admits under further questioning that he's changed his house name to 'il playboy casa'...

peers morgan trying the wogan look 2
4ty2 4 years or - Is it me? hope he does not start a show called wake up with Migrane...

Spending the afternoon in Wetherspoons makes 75% of customers feel suicidal... 0
Doylem 4 years
***** to sue DEFRA for discrimination against free travel 0
4ty2 4 years

as they claim he needs to apply for movement documents when he wants to travel with his partner Dolly. This is worse then not finding a hotel for the night as they prefere camping and having fun in...

An edgier host for next years Golden Globes, Cuboids and Pyramids on standby 0
simonjmr 4 years
mcdonalds considering rebranding exercise for London power olympics 0
4ty2 4 years

[url=]have a pit stop at McDonalds, regain your power and balance[/url]...

Katie Price announces separation 1
riesler 4 years

new bra working well...

Tories Reach Out to Lazy Feckless Bastards 1
Rapscallion 4 years

The Prime Minister David Cameron has appealed directly to "the single, the work-shy and generally piss-poor" in a speech that has been hailed both as a political masterstroke and absolutely bonkers....

Britain “a nation of shoplifters”, says Police Chief... 0
Doylem 4 years

Chief of Police, Robert Carver, justified his decision to go easy on shoplifters. “In these difficult times we don’t want to criminalise people who are just trying to look after their families,...

Bob Evans, hopeless alcoholic, tries to drink “within government guidelines”... 0
Doylem 4 years

“Despite being a hopeless alcoholic I try my best to stick to the government’s helpful guidelines. From a brief perusal, in the library, of the ‘Drinking and You’ website - not at all...