Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Human semen found in sheep

The food scandal reached new heights (or should that be depths) today as it emerged 43% of sheep and lamb products sold in supermarkets, butchers and fast food outlets contains large amounts of human...

Reg Herring 19.02.13 11:40am
New iPhone ringtone volume adjusts to your speaking volume

Trying to make a joke of people with annoyingly loud ringtones who answer the phone with an even louder voice.. HELLO!...

Dumbnews 19.02.13 11:29am
IDS says "I told you so" as shelf stacker discovers oil in Asda 1
sydalg 19.02.13 11:23am
IDS - Jihad Seekers Allowance claimants must stack shelves

in the bacon section, or hot-cross buns if they are vegetarian. [url=]see! The Daily Mail...

Squudge 19.02.13 10:43am
FSA proposes brown/yellow colour coding scheme for food packaging...

“The new scheme is both refreshingly simple and brutally honest”, announced Sebastian Wright, a spokesman for the Food Standards Agency. “The 'traffic light' idea - red, amber and green -...

Tripod 19.02.13 7:48am
Retired Politicians to be slaughtered and used in bargain meat products. 1
19.02.13 1:34am
PM's India joke causes storm : "Hello how are you? Your computer is broken." 0
Drylaw 18.02.13 11:19pm
Pixar and AArdman in "Animated" Merger Discussions 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 18.02.13 11:11pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Teenage Dreams of Midlife Crisis

A damning investigation by the BBC programme Panorama has uncovered a hidden world of back street doctors and unlicensed plastic surgeons offering teenagers a fast track to adulthood. In a growing...

button 18.02.13 10:39pm
J Vine
Meteor was shaped like Savile's rancid cock

Only a semi, fortunately. A full lob would have fucked us...

Truebiscuit 18.02.13 10:38pm
J Vine
BBC News 'not as good as it used to be'

In a sensational outburst Mrs Doris Palmer from Hook, Hampshire has condemned declining standards at the BBC News department. “We used to get lots of interesting stories in the old days,” she...

lane-avenger 18.02.13 10:11pm
Cameron caught eating steak in India, pretends it's horsemeat

Just noticed a lull in horse jokes around here, so...

sydalg 18.02.13 9:48pm
Cameron offers India interest-free credit for starting war with Pakistan

Champion of Britain's struggling arms business David Cameron has announced incentives for India to 'go the extra mile' and start a war with Pakistan., 'They're laughing at you' said Cameron to the...

Truebiscuit 18.02.13 9:36pm
Richard Briers to be mulched and scattered over Surbiton allotments

Fucking brilliant stuff, Truebiscuit. You're on fire...

Truebiscuit 18.02.13 9:21pm
SA Olympic Commitee - Pistorious "actually Scottish". More soon.

Took a while...

Al OPecia 18.02.13 9:09pm
Al OPecia
Circus owner heroin addict injects his juggler 1
charlies_hat 18.02.13 8:56pm
Relief in Balamory as Edie McCredie alive and well.

PC Plum blames confusion on some dead country singer...

MADJEZ 18.02.13 8:18pm
WikiVeg on sale at Ecuadorian Embassy

News that Julian Assange has not been idle during his 8 month stay at the Equadorian Embassy emerged today, when a range of vegetables went on sale outside the Embassy gates., A spokesman said that...

ESJ 18.02.13 8:07pm
Looking on the bright side, Felicity Kendal is available now, men realise

More soon. (RIP Richard Briars)...

rickwestwell 18.02.13 7:41pm
Backpacker who drank own Urine develops addiction to Fosters. 6
Zen 18.02.13 7:27pm
Rival shelf-stacking dynasties clash over rights to price up aisle 13

The tinned foods aisle of a Wirral-based branch of Asda is locked in a bitter blood feud over the who should price up the mushy peas, according to reports. The rival clans from Hoylake and West Kirby...

Gary Stanton 18.02.13 7:13pm
Neat-O : The Circus (use it or lose it)

The funeral of actor Richard Briers is to take place next Wednesday at a council run allotment in his home town of Kingston upon Thames., Following a short service read by close friend Monty Don,...

Gerontius 18.02.13 6:55pm
Woman seeks wild man who can do her taxes 0
Dumbnews 18.02.13 6:53pm
It's just not true Biscuit!

In the wake of the recent labelling crisis, NewsBiscuit has come under pressure from disappointed readers, angry that it contains no proper news and no biscuits. One disgruntled visitor to the site,...

lane-avenger 18.02.13 6:40pm
Audible Minority
The 'unexplained device' seen in Torquay turns out to be an aeroplane

†wo people are injured falling off a wall while pointing at it...

Ian Searle 18.02.13 6:33pm
Ian Searle
Greengrocer charges customers to look at exotic fruit in Papaya Per View scandal 0
Ian Searle 18.02.13 6:32pm
Ian Searle
Man who tried to extract gas from garden with pressure washer is fracking idiot 0
Ian Searle 18.02.13 6:30pm
Ian Searle
Residents furious as street art sold at auction.

Residents of a tower block in Tipton are said to be furious after an historic piece of graffiti has turned up in a Paris auction house. The crude drawing of a spray painted penis above the legend...

dominic_mcg 18.02.13 6:28pm
Extremist patrols in Borough of NewBiscuit impose 'Harry Hill' law

Moderate posters in the borough of NewBiscuit are being upbraided by a group of extremists who believe that only they understand the true meaning of ‘funny’. The extremists, ‘described as a...

lane-avenger 18.02.13 6:15pm
Audible Minority
Nerdy scientist comes out as straight 2
Dumbnews 18.02.13 6:13pm