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DLT complains of ageism, regains Radio 1 Breakfast Show 7
Skylarking 4 years

Simon Bates soon pop pickers...

Control Orders to be replaced by making terror suspects wear a little bell 2
Ludicity 4 years

David Cameron has unveiled the replacement to Control Orders – a little bell that all suspected terrorists will be forced to wear to warn the public of their whereabouts. 'I got the idea looking...

Fraudster ruefully admits that he should have stolen Airmiles and flown to Rio. 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Peter749400 4 years Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has angrily denied rumours that he went into Parliament last month and...

General Pharmaceutical Council drops case against homeopathic malaria treatment 0
4ty2 4 years

as it is clearly possible to prevent malaria by the use of alternative medicine. The case brought forward by the undercover operation of Sense about Science and Newsnight has brought disrepute to the...

money for nothing banned on radio 0
4ty2 4 years

original claims stated the phrase "see that little faggot with the earring and the makeup Yeah buddy that's his own hair That little faggot got his own jet airplane That little faggot he's a...

Brazil beats Australia and Wales in Flood Top Trumps 0
simonjmr 4 years
Tesco rebrands its carrier bags as Recession briefcases, satchels and holdalls 0
simonjmr 4 years
World wide Rodent fetishists looking to pre-book New York jail time 0
simonjmr 4 years

New York city council is to market fetish holidays in their jails using the old Roland Rat catchphrase "Come on Rat fans" in an ironic manner. More soon...

Pink Floyd son begins life of unemployment - "Sign on, you Lazy Dickhead" 3
someone else 4 years
Vatican drops plans to beatify Berlusconi after Viagra is explained. 0
Chip Paper 4 years
Bird Flu Resistant Chickens are Actually Cats 4
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 4 years

The new genetically modified strain of chickens that are claimed to be able to resist bird flu are actually cats say poultry farmers. Professor Alan Song who headed up the research team strenuously...

John Paul II given fast track promotion after one of his groupies got better. 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Amir Khan's next fight anounced against Alex Read 'oi you shagged my wife'. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Womble to start fortnightly rubbish collection as part of Big Society 3
Ian Searle 4 years
Employee who stole 17 million Nectar points still didn't have enough for toaster 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Analog Televisions angily refute that they are just glorified light bulbs 1
melody 4 years
Vatican Science Academy to replace kilogram with Papal Mass... 7
victory V 4 years

More to come, after a short weight...

‘Whiskey pills’, the new cure for January 2
cskye 4 years

Warming the cockles with a swift scotch may be a thing of the past thanks to a new drug, nicknamed ‘whiskey pills’, which produces the same body heat as downing a triple, without its other head...

Experts advocate weaning men off breasts before 60 years 2
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Shaun Wright-Phillips “lost” after failing to find way out of Eastlands 0
Gary Stanton 4 years

Concerns were growing last night for out-of-favour Man City star Shaun Wright-Phillips after the player became lost trying to find an exit route from the club’s ground at Eastlands . Following...

katie Vassels grannie admits, since her 15 minutes of fame, things have dried up 0
melody 4 years
Arizona gun victim opens her eyes and says‘I think I should just stay in Alaska' 3
Duncan Biscuit 4 years

Can you try a bit harder, please? This would be a half-smile-raising Facebook status update, but it's just not enough for a site that's supposed to be for people who are already half-good at writing...

RSPCB Concerned Over 'Drug-Addicted' Birds 2
scriven 4 years

The RSPCB released a press announcement today warning the public of the threat of drug addicted birds. “Reports have confirmed that the flock of dead starling gizzards in Romania were...

US politician critical after shooting "He could have put me out of my misery" 2
Malcum eggs 4 years
Coalition mulls over the result of the Oldham bye-bye election 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Documents show Ken Clarke was told he is Justice Minister some months ago 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Office for National Statistics downsizing to just Office for National Biscuits 0
Lionel RichTea 4 years

Head of census Andrea Salad "counting people is a right headache and basically depressing, they just never keep still. We'll now just focus on the nations biscuit eating habits. Lets be fair as...

Queen to take a dump 8
malgor 4 years

Buckingham Palace confirmed in a statement today that Her Majesty intends to take a Royal Dump in April this year to mark William and Kate’s marriage. Palace officials had earlier tried to...

Status Quo embark on ‘Still Alive’ tour... 1
Doylem 4 years

Francis Rossi, Rick Parfitt and two other guys in blue denim are going back on the road. They hardly dare stop in case they seize up. But what’s life like on tour for the Quo these days? Francis...