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David Cameron asks America for advice Rumsfield reminds him that looting is 0
guffaw 08.08.11 11:04pm
guffaw
“Thank F*ck for that!” says Met riot officer after hearing of Boris’ return.

Riot Police in London are breathing a collective sigh of relief today after receiving word of the return to UK of Mayor of London Boris Johnson and Prime Minister David Cameron. Territorial Support...

5
Corrigan 11.08.11 10:46am
bonjonelson
Hungry rioters set fire to Greggs to make sure Pasties are "cooked properly" 0
thackaray 08.08.11 10:01pm
thackaray
Cameron returning to London as riots spread to Tuscany 1
roybland 08.08.11 11:02pm
guffaw
David Cameron's 'don't eat yellow snow' tip goes down badly in Italian Cafe. 1
Corrigan 08.08.11 8:57pm
Olympic flames arrive in London a year too soon. 2
Dickens or Shakespeare 08.08.11 8:43pm
Corrigan
Dolphin Marries Tuna After Long Friendship 0
mugwump 08.08.11 7:56pm
mugwump
DFS not looted in London riots 1
roybland 08.08.11 8:03pm
button
Italian waitress digusted by Cameron leaving a tip in Euros. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 08.08.11 8:22pm
rikkor
Markets go ga ga in sync with Maggie. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 08.08.11 7:02pm
Al OPecia
Berlusconi critical of British Premier's failure to consider waitresses tits

When in Rome...

0
button 08.08.11 6:42pm
button
British fashion writers slam London looters’ dress sense

With London Fashion Week commencing in a little over a month, Britain’s fashion writers, presenters and commentators have united to criticise the poor dress sense adopted by many of the weekend’s...

0
antharrison 08.08.11 6:03pm
antharrison
Poor "cannot afford to riot" as cost of petrol bombs soars 0
bonjonelson 08.08.11 6:00pm
bonjonelson
Clegg returns and declares "everything's OK now" before bursting into flames

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg returned from holiday to take charge of Britain and issued his rallying call at a packed press conference: “Everything will be all right now.”, Mr Clegg paused...

0
FraserWords 08.08.11 5:13pm
FraserWords
The month's news in brief: Hacking in Luton. Looting in Hackney. 0
pinxit 08.08.11 4:08pm
pinxit
IRA to close with loss of over 1,800 local jobs

One of the last local terrorist organisations has today went into administration, putting over 1,800 local jobs at risk. To be confirmed at a press conference later on today, held in a secret...

0
William Pumpton 08.08.11 3:46pm
William Pumpton
Sting blamed for recent outbreaks of luteing. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 08.08.11 4:31pm
writinginbsl
More looters arrested after police find they checked in to shops on Facebook

Police in North London have made a further 50 arrests relating to the recent riots following the discovery of a Facebook group titled “I love lootin!!!”. The breakthrough came when police...

0
Vertically Challenged Giant 08.08.11 2:52pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cameron praises 'outstanding' coverage of London riots at pool bar

Prime Minister David Cameron last night praised the placement of two giant plasma screens in the pool bar at his luxury hotel in Italy. Mr Cameron who is on holiday in Tuscany said they offered him...

2
Darkbill 2.0 08.08.11 5:38pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
William Hague recognises Tottenham rioters as true government in London

More to follow...

1
William Pumpton 08.08.11 6:45pm
Al OPecia
Looters return goods to PC World after seeing same item cheaper in Comet 2
brownpaperreporter 08.08.11 9:22pm
Poecheng
Long queues at grand opening of Molotov Cocktail bar in north London 1
charlies_hat 08.08.11 1:20pm
writinginbsl
Semi-naked Worthing pensioners loot Oxfam shop.

Bored Worthing pensioners have caused outrage in the South Coast resort after another night of rioting and looting. A gang of rowdy geriatrics were spotted outside the town's Oxfam Shop with piles...

1
rebel not taken 08.08.11 5:01pm
antharrison
Whole Kosher thing ‘based on bronze-age weight-loss fads’, claims archaeologist

Dr Ilan Greenberg of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem announced yesterday that the whole concept of “Kosher” might be ‘a bit Atkins, a bit Dukan – you know, the usual weird shit’,...

2
NewSuburbanDad 08.08.11 2:29pm
NewSuburbanDad
Market traders seek safety of apples as soft fruit volatiliy continues 0
button 08.08.11 12:48pm
button
Police and Kaiser Chiefs dispute whether riot could have been predicted. 7
MADJEZ 08.08.11 2:35pm
Matt T
CBI report encouraging rise in demand for half bricks in London area. 0
MADJEZ 08.08.11 12:07pm
MADJEZ
Anthony Worrall Thompson Fire Pit Clarification

La Hacienda, the makers of the popular garden product the Fire Pit, endorsed by celebrity chef Anthony Worrall Thompson, today made the following statement: "La Hacienda wish to inform customers of...

0
custard cream 08.08.11 12:03pm
custard cream
Unrest spreads to Richmond as locals fear disruption to recycling collection 1
Long Distance Clara 08.08.11 1:17pm
writinginbsl
Trophy-collecting trawlerman admits to possession of fish fingers 2
pinxit 08.08.11 4:09pm
pinxit