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'Happy new year George' says everyone 0
antharrison 31.12.12 8:02am
Cigarettes and Alcohol to North Pole, as Santa gives Troops best Christmas ever

experts have reported record exports of cigarettes and alcohol to the north Pole in the run up to the festive season as Father Christmas provided the best yule-tide haul yet for our Troops out...

Don1 30.12.12 11:39pm
Don't Chain Yourself to Radiator says minister who slams Waite Watcher Diet 3
ronseal 30.12.12 6:59pm
Police pull out all the stops in hunt for organist's killer. More soon.

(I heard a newsreader say this on the radio.)...

dominic_mcg 30.12.12 6:39pm
"Fergy Lergy" Could Affect Any Top Team," Says Expert

Top football managers throughout England, could be under attack by the "Fergy Lergy," which hones in on referees, linesmen and opposition managers alike., Symtoms are the miniaturisation of...

Jesse Bigg 30.12.12 1:53pm
Jesse Bigg
Morale amongst pots and kettles 'at an all time low' warns MP

More Vaz soon...

Geraldine Wiley 30.12.12 11:46am
Geraldine Wiley
Witches and wizards left disappointed by Microsoft Word's Spellchecker 1
Smart Alex 30.12.12 11:39am
Dick Everyman
First series of Israel's got Talents discovered in Dead Sea Scrolls 0
Dick Everyman 30.12.12 11:24am
Dick Everyman
Stiking male prostitutes to down tools 3
Sinnick 30.12.12 10:13am
Dick Everyman
Patents Office overwhelmed as South Yorkshire Police "invent lots of stuff" 0
Smart Alex 30.12.12 12:09am
Smart Alex
PM announces lottery grant to get Bradley Wiggins a decent haircut. 4
MADJEZ 29.12.12 11:31pm
Tess Goes
Weekend pull out section: create your own Top 40 song!

Ever fancied writing the next number one for Generic Direction or Girls Generic? Thought you wouldn't have the talent to write the likes of "muma do the hump" or "the way I are"? Or the linguistic...

quango 29.12.12 11:11pm
Sir Lupus
Santa agrees to make less mess next year

Following a host of complaints about sherry glasses strewn about living rooms, mince-pie crumbs on the carpet and piles of coal dust on hearths, Father Christmas has confessed that he may have been a...

Midfield Diamond 29.12.12 11:00pm
Tess Goes
Consumers warned Gayday Loans are a pain in the arse to repay. 4
MADJEZ 29.12.12 10:42pm
Tess Goes
£1 fish man voted Poundland Employee of The Year 1
custard cream 29.12.12 10:25pm
Tess Goes
eBay prostitute offers zero insertion fees... 1
Queen of Tarts 29.12.12 10:15pm
Tess Goes
Tracey Emin awarded a CBE for “getting pissed and being gobby with it”...

Tracey Emin has been recognised with a CBE in the New Year honours list, continuing a long tradition of honouring people who, by definition, have been handsomely rewarded already. According to the...

Tripod 29.12.12 10:01pm
custard cream
Rockin' All Over The World - on a shoestring

Holidaymakers looking for advice on where to go in 2013 can now benefit from a new initiative from publishers Crowded Globe: a CD of classic pop and rock songs about destinations around the planet,...

Sir Lupus 29.12.12 9:03pm
Sir Lupus
Cleese/Palin/Obama to star in 'A Fish Called Cliff' 0
Boutros 29.12.12 8:52pm
New Years Dishonours published in Palace prank

Number Ten and the Palace are said to be 'stunned' by the news that the wrong New Years Honours list has been published. According to the Palace, there was a minor lapse in security on Boxing day,...

Squudge 29.12.12 3:52pm
Fabricant "disappointed" after Sir Wiggo headline confusion. 0
reforse 29.12.12 1:30pm
Sir Bradley Wiggins to star in new series of Knight Rider 1
custard cream 29.12.12 12:51pm
Sheen, Muscle and Whippy knighted in New Year Honours 1
Idiot 29.12.12 12:19pm
Judge demands divorcing couple give wedding guests their Saturday afternoon back

In presiding over the divorce proceedings of Wayne and Traycee Metcalf, Mr Justice Benson ruled that it is profoundly unjust that they were both regaining the freedoms they enjoyed when they were...

Ian 29.12.12 12:16pm
Emergency measures announced for 2013 summer holidays

The Environment Minister, Richard Benyon has today announced emergency measures for the British Summer Holiday, to be brought into effect in the New Year. "Every year we have the same crisis, summer....

Squudge 29.12.12 12:05pm
'Cliff deal' successfully negotiated - Summer Holiday never to be shown again 3
charlies_hat 29.12.12 11:52am
CSI Norfolk: DNA evidence implicates father, brother, uncle, nephew, anyone... 0
Ian 29.12.12 11:03am
Police hunt mass poisoner Nora Virus. 1
MADJEZ 29.12.12 11:00am
Savile on the fiddle again – in the spirit world!

Disgraced TV star and basin-haired pop nonce Sir Jimmy Savile, has carried on with his vile, sexual abuse of children – in the afterlife. According to a leading psychic Savile has simply slipped...

woodsy 29.12.12 10:58am
Moving & poignant side of Little & Large revealed by BBC2 seasonal programming

Tonights BBC2schedules include :"Just call me Syd - a moving documentary about Syd Little's attempts to become a solo performer apart from his regular partner Eddie Large retired after heart...

Solomon Hughes 29.12.12 12:05am