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Knox rearrested for speeding on airport road 4
vertical 05.10.11 9:20am
SKY satellite set to crash land on Portsmouth pub 6
Boutros 05.10.11 9:06am
Human Rights Cat confusion could have been caused by typographical error

The Home Secretary’s claim that an illegal immigrant could have avoided deportation “because of an act he had with his wife” may be the result of simple typographical error. “I’m not...

nickb 05.10.11 8:43am
Midfield Diamond
New iPhone 4 features revolutionary 'S' after the 4 1
roybland 05.10.11 8:23am
Welsh Assembly to solve budget problems with “Unlimited cash from England”

The Welsh Assembly is to follow Scotland’s example and grant itself unlimited access to money provided by the English Taxpayer. The move, which will see every Welshman , woman and child given a...

Mathna 05.10.11 8:21am
Maya defends Feline Rights Act.

More later...

spoole2112 05.10.11 8:18am
Blow for England fans as Johnny Wilkinson declared fit 1
05.10.11 8:13am
Man stuck holding his penis for 5 hours after BT failure

A man in Cumshot-in-Avon has been found stuck holding his penis watching a computer screen just saying 'buffering', after a major power cut at a BT Exchange. The 22 year old, John Thomas, a master...

Perks 04.10.11 11:43pm
Mass evacuation as small flare mistaken for whopping great big planet

Jeff Briggs was out walking his dog, Andrew, when he saw it. ‘I was just walking along when suddenly, out of nowhere, there it was; Jupiter, a massive gas giant usually found at least 893 million...

Screenie 04.10.11 10:11pm
Now EC red tape demands energy labels...on PETS

The latest meddling by Brussels bureaucrats has been slammed by British animal charities. Not content with informing consumers about the efficiency of the Great British fridge-freezer, the treatising...

04.10.11 9:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Rugby's Aussie Kiss Scandal Blown Out of all Proportion 0
medici2471 04.10.11 8:22pm
Boss of lap dancing company to strip to raise money for his heart transplant.

The boss of lap dancing company Spearmint Rhino has been told by his cardiac surgeon "if you want a bypass, I’m not doing it on the NHS - we haven’t got a microscope powerful enough to see that...

John Ffitch-Rucker 04.10.11 8:08pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Milk Tray man finally caught after stalking women and leaving tawdry chocolate

After decades of terrifying lone women, during which he broke into their homes and left chilling calling cards comprising of cheap chocolate boxes, the Milk Tray Man has finally been apprehended....

ronseal 04.10.11 8:01pm
Cats Protection calls for Theresa May's deportation 0
roybland 04.10.11 7:20pm
Illegal immigrant deportation 'postphoned' until "he's used up his minutes"

Today, Theresa May confirmed that an illegal immigrant would "be having his human rights abused" if he were to be deported before he'd had chance to "use up his minutes". The Asian man, who due to...

kga6 04.10.11 6:25pm
Daily Mail stories "arrive faster than the truth". More soon.

Thanks for the inspiration thisisall1word...

Al OPecia 04.10.11 6:19pm
Al OPecia
‘Thames Water is green’ claim utility bosses

After an Environment Agency report branded Thames Water the UK’s biggest polluter, the firm has been quick to defend its progress on environmental issues. Claiming that just a few minor incidents...

Midfield Diamond 04.10.11 6:16pm
Opportunity Knox

Shocked residents of Perugia took to the streets outside the court house last night to celebrate the appeal court judges' verdict that there had been no murder. Speaking in broken English and out...

medici2471 04.10.11 6:10pm
UK economic troubles to be eased with 'Every Fallen Leaf Worth a Fiver' day

In a dramatic 24-hour initiative designed to help the public quickly generate cash within a beleaguered economy, UK banks will for tomorrow exchange fallen leaves for crisp five-pound notes., The...

dicky37 04.10.11 5:34pm
Rabbits caught in headlights set to receive 'on the spot' fine 0
kga6 04.10.11 5:30pm
Italian Prosecution Service to Hire Jeremy Kyle.

Following the successful appeal of Amanda Knox and the other guy, Italian Courts have offered ITV1's bear bater Jeremy Kyle a lucrative deal to be the head of their prosecution service. Speaking...

delightfullyodd 04.10.11 4:52pm
UK Passports to Include New "Yes Please! LOL!" Sex Status for Fucking Dullards 4
thisisall1word 04.10.11 4:00pm
Panpipe the cat allowed to stay in UK - owns pet Peruvian man 0
Drylaw 04.10.11 3:59pm
Classic british pastime of queueing to get massive overhaul

Within the next few days the government will announce measures to increase the productivity of the UK's workforce with a radical new approach to queueing. Walk in queueing centres, open 24 hours,...

Screenie 04.10.11 3:59pm
Theresa May promises installation of a moral compass in every high street 0
simonjmr 04.10.11 3:54pm
Panic Buttons to be installed with Panic buttons

"In case of emergency and you need help with activating the panic button - please press the PANIC panic button". More soon...

simonjmr 04.10.11 3:52pm
Amanda Knox issues press statement denying ever being near an Italian prison 0
charlies_hat 04.10.11 2:52pm
Accidental overdose of Diocalm halts recording of TV series 'Loose Women' 0
pinxit 04.10.11 2:31pm
New craze of ‘Working’ sweeping the internet

Stand aside ‘Planking’, move over ‘Batmanning’, there’s a new game in town. ‘Working’ is the new craze which has Facebook users flocking to upload photos of themselves engaged in the...

Vertically Challenged Giant 04.10.11 1:49pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
New deck chair arrangement a great success say Titanic Middle Management

Having originally brain-stormed the reorganisation at an 'away day' in February, the initial feedback indicators are very good. There has been a huge buy-in from all staff, and engagement levels are...

Ian Searle 04.10.11 12:50pm