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Cameron recalls troops from Helmand to defend Mercia

In the Conservative government's most decisive defensive move since the late Lady Thatcher launched her combined services attack on South Georgia, Prime Minister David Cameron today ordered the...

Our Defence Correspondent 04.05.13 9:47am
Our Defence Correspondent
The town of Wilmslow, Cheshire placed on Sex-Offenders` Register

In a bid to save on legal fees and expensive litigation, TV company bosses have decided to pre-empt potential court-case outcomes...

Nimrod 04.05.13 9:09am
It's Fruitcakes versus Eton Mess as voters complain of being desserted 0
ronseal 04.05.13 8:46am
Cameron to support skiving Britons

Following losses in local elections across England, David Cameron has announced a change in policy to support skiving Britons. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference, the Prime Minister...

monkeyrepublic 04.05.13 8:14am
Farage awarded Smug Git of the Year trophy.

Does anyone else just want to punch him in the face every time they see him on TV., It's nothing to do with the politics he's just got one of those faces...

MADJEZ 04.05.13 7:10am
Deceased Pedant Return To Haunt Stonemason ...

who engraved "Here lie's Fred Jone's" on his tombstone. (True story: on the gateway of Abbey Dore church there is a plaque saying "Erected in memory of Lieutenant Jenkins killed in action by his...

Titus 04.05.13 6:48am
Shock as man dying of cancer does thing without pathos

Friends of Simon Bravo a man dying of cancer have been left reeling after he did a thing without any pathos, Close friend of Simon Glen Patterson said: “He’s dying. We all know it. He’s only...

andrewl81 03.05.13 11:05pm
Church moderates stance on gay marriage. Popes now allowed to live together. 7
Maverick 03.05.13 10:47pm
Tory Party Re-Branding

"Following the recent election results" said a Conservative Party spokesman "We have decided that our party needs some minor re-branding. We will in future call ourselves the 'Univerally...

Titus 03.05.13 10:34pm
Always In The End by The Bay City Rollers - review

Well here it is Rollers fans! The first album for yonks from the tartan chart toppers of yesteryear and I have news - it's good and bad in equal measure! Some of my friends have pooh-poohed this...

Drylaw 03.05.13 9:59pm
A guide to the new Emergency Numbers

Please dial the number that most closely matches your emergency. 999: I'm on fire! 888: I was on fire just now! 777: I've got a nasty burn. 666: Ouch! The phone's too hot to hold. 555: How do I...

Boutros 03.05.13 9:06pm
Attenborough's legacy - a Gorilla speaks out

To millions of TV viewers in the 1970s heyday of the BBC it seemed like nothing could touch David Attenborough. This man had approached a colony of gorillas, bonded with them and had been...

Drylaw 03.05.13 9:00pm
Overnight Land border gained with France as UK moves to the right

Soon more soon...

Sally1985 03.05.13 7:02pm
sredni vashta
UKIP Candidates To Be Required To Register Their Make-Up Pattern

Such has been the rapid growth in the number of UKIP candidates that both the party heirachy and the general public have been having difficulty in identifying one candidtate from another, let alone...

Titus 03.05.13 6:36pm
Brokeback Mountain remake location confirmed as Yorkshire Dales. 0
reforse 03.05.13 6:17pm
Graham Norton spits: “I won't take no lessons from Ian McKellen & Derek Jacobi" 0
Lenny Bee 03.05.13 6:17pm
Lenny Bee
ITV launches sit-com about two stick-in-the muds living together "Viscous". 0
Al OPecia 03.05.13 6:12pm
Al OPecia
Job advert for new Santa Claus rushed out. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.05.13 6:07pm
Al OPecia
Blues-rock musician poses zen question about the sound of one hand clapton

Sadly not original, but thought it was good enough to share...

Smart Alex 03.05.13 5:53pm
Smart Alex
Dental Injuries Feared As BBC Announce UKIP Successes through Gritted Teeth 5
Titus 03.05.13 4:55pm
"Swivel-Eyed Loons" Replaced By "Clowns And Fruitcakes" Since Milliband Appeared 0
Titus 03.05.13 4:53pm
Fararge in smile death horror

Horrified onlookers gaped in horror today as the grin on the face of triumphant UKIP leader Nigel Farage spread so wide it severed his cranium from his jaw. One witness said: "It was horrible. And...

monkeyrepublic 03.05.13 4:21pm
UKIP triumph on 'vague indignance' platform

In local elections across England, the UK Indignance Party has made impressive gains running on a manifesto specifying no more than 'a general and de-focused outrage at the state of things'. Exit...

monkeyrepublic 03.05.13 3:39pm
"Trickle-up quantitative easing" trialled as BoE issues VagaBonds 4
beau-jolly 03.05.13 2:28pm
Fans asked not to call "hey, you t'ree" at The Comedians Dublin reunion 0
cinquecento 03.05.13 11:55am
1970s under arrest by Operation Yewtree

A spokesman for Operation Yewtree has announced that after extensive investigation, the entire decade from 1970 to 1979 has been put under arrest. "It is clear that the 1970s thought they could get...

AReader 03.05.13 11:47am
Weatherman sacked for gross misconduct leaves under a cloud 0
John Wiltshire 03.05.13 11:40am
John Wiltshire
BBC announce all-star cast for Porridge remake

The BBC announced that they will be remaking their 1970s hit prison comedy Porridge, with an all-star cast. “All our presenters and entertainers over the age of 55 have signed up” said a BBC...

Yikes 03.05.13 11:27am
Fans warned Fast and Furious 6 reviews may contain spoilers 1
Idiot 03.05.13 11:18am
Man in law firm chimney named as Dick Van Dyke.. gor blimey. 0
MADJEZ 03.05.13 11:15am