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Billionaire's Prostate Gland Funds Research Institute 0
Q William Bacon 4 years

Petrochemicals billionaire David H. Koch's (pronounced "coke's") prostate gland attended the official opening of a new research center bearing its name. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology...

'We won't be intimidated' say owners of Small Hadron Collider 6
Ironduke 4 years

we used to be just The Hadron Collider in the good old days, before that Cern lot came swanking around with their bloody fancy tunnel said Alfonse L'Impellier as he showed our reporter around the...

Users complain of honesty on dating sites 0
CunningLinguist 4 years

It has been discovered that some people have been telling the truth in their online profiles on some dating and friendship sites. This shocking revelation has caused many online users to feel...

“Plastic daffodils just the beginning”, says boss of Lake District Tourism... 6
Doylem 4 years

Brian Goldsmith, CEO of Lake District Tourism, is determined that visitors to Lakeland this Easter should not be disappointed. “We learned some valuable lessons back in 2007”, Brian acknowledged....

After American baseball team buy player on spec from Japan 0
4 years

feel they have been ripped off as Saito as yet to appear...

Politicians admit competition isnt healthy 0
CunningLinguist 4 years

Breaking news from parliament today as a cross party think tank admitted that in a recession competition isnt just counterproductive but is also unwanted. The conclusion of the painstaking study was...

Complicated handshakes to be outlawed for anyone over twenty... 2
Doylem 4 years
Dail "Mail" 29/11/11: Princess Kate In Black Baby Shocker. 4
rikkor 4 years

Palace insiders fear there is no chance to "pull a Harry" on the British public this time...

BBC journalists hoping Middle East protests spread to country with nicer beaches 0
The Paper Ostrich 4 years

The BBC’s leading correspondents have called for the ongoing pro-democracy riots in the Middle East to spread to a ‘nice, tropical country’, preferably with a well-developed tourist industry...

Trepanning "needed like a hole in the head" 0
beau-jolly 4 years
Liberals blame low turnout for loss showing deep understanding of "proportional" 0
spa99ers 4 years
Death penalty re-introduced for people who say “simples”... 8
Doylem 4 years
New Welsh laws: "Llaws". 1
beau-jolly 4 years

Morag soon...

Young sperm whale that died on kent beach deemed not to have had enough spunk 14
4 years
Obama announces dramatic reverse of US military foreign policy 0
Ironduke 4 years

..we've tried kicking off a few times now and its not gone so well for us, so we're gonna return to sitting back, letting the ruck build up a bit and then wellying in towards the end...

Genetic engineers turn bacteria into performance-enhancing bugs. 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years

Olympic officials working on screening methods...

'Punning' dentist is struck off 4
beau-jolly 4 years

A dentist who faced charges of making awful puns in front of patients and staff has been struck off. Phinbar Wilton, 35, from Wem, also giggled and laughed behind his hand at childish innuendos and...

Worldwide silk shortage blamed on the size of footballers ties 0
Mrblacker 4 years

Weather and climate change is not to blame for a worldwide shortage of silk, according to a report from the Silk Producers Council. Instead, footballers with wearing neck ties with fat knots are...

Police cuts mean Roxanne has to put red light back on 0
Ironduke 4 years
Cameron sends Clegg to persuade Gaddafi into coaltion government... 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Product placement marks the end of the road for the Acme Corporation... 7
Doylem 4 years

“It’s a sad day for this famous and fictional old company”, said Frank Kerfuffle, long-time CEO of the Acme Corporation, which is currently filing for bankruptcy. “We have had a long and...

Libyan regime struck off for using performance enhancing thugs... 2
be reasonable 4 years

I've been Tim Vine and goodnight!...

Doctors discover vacinne for Bieber Fever 7
Milo Shame 4 years

Medical Officers at the World Health Organisation have announced that they now have the means to eradicate Bieber Fever within a generation. Since the 1960’s, virologists have struggled to keep...

BBC commissions new programmes on porn, pain, pools and profanity... 0
Doylem 4 years

Jacqui Smith was commissioned by the BBC to look at the, ahem, ‘adult entertainment industry’, on the flimsy pretext that her husband rented a couple of films, which, embarrassingly, found their...

Newsbiscuit confessional, part II. 12
DrTurmoil 4 years

Readers discuss their own personal personal lives, personally.This week's topic:, What do you think you’ve inherited from your parents? 'I've got my dad’s dodgy old feet. Funny thing to leave...

Teenager Drowns in Wet Dream 3
OldThingy 4 years

Distraught mother says he must have been overcome in the night., Father says he will be sadly missed, especially when they've cleaned up all the mess in his room. The police are not treating this...

E & J Gallo “not murdering monsters” 3
beau-jolly 4 years

Speculation around the origins of E&J Gallo’s wine empire has finally been laid to rest just a few years after the untimely death of Ernest Gallo, aged 97., Throughout their long careers it...

Women leave used teabags in saucers ‘as distraction technique’ 1
Des Custard 4 years

Researchers at Goldsmiths, University of London, investigating into why women leave used teabags lying around in saucers, have turned existing thinking on its head. Professor of Psychology Joydeep...

Bookmaking night launched with free bets 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Wild eyed shouty man from New Statesman set to appear on every TV programme ever 2
ronseal 4 years

Whatsisname, the wild eyed shouty man from the New Statesman, has achieved a new milestone in his mission to appear on every television programme on the entire broadcasting spectrum. Last night he...