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"Shit-Hole Chic" cited as reason for property price increases in Hackney........

The news that properties in Hackney were experiencing huge rises in value was put down to the new phenomenon "Shit-Hole Chic", the latest in housing trends. Certain areas of Sheffield, and the whole...

Bismarck 05.08.11 1:10pm
Kate leading the press a merry dance over pregnancy speculation

Rumours that the Duchess of Cambridge could be pregnant are continuing, despite her recent behaviour suggesting that she is not, or perhaps she is, expecting her first child. Speculation has been...

Midfield Diamond 05.08.11 12:17pm
Midfield Diamond
Daily Mail offers free "cootie shots" to its readers. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 11:51am
Geoff Boycott's granny better than Sachin Tendulkar.

Forthright Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott has dismissed claims that Sachin Tendulkar is the best batsman since Don Bradman. Gritty Boycott, who was axed from the England team in 1967 after batting all...

rebel not taken 05.08.11 11:44am
rebel not taken
Norwegian police discover polar bear’s 1,500-page online manifesto 8
Qoxiivi 05.08.11 9:41pm
BBC Bosses criticise world events for attempting to distract from phone hacking

Senior figures at the BBC have publically criticised recent world events for attempting to deflect attention away from their ongoing self-righteous reporting of the phone hacking scandal. Since the...

Vertically Challenged Giant 05.08.11 11:37am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Public Enquiry to review upsurge in Public Enquiries

The UK government has announced plans for a new Public Enquiry to examine the recent increase in the number of Public Enquiries. ‘We’ve seen a spate of new Public Enquiries in the past few...

malgor 05.08.11 4:16pm
Wasps ask ‘What’s the point of people? Do they actually serve any purpose?’

As the summer progresses, more and more wasps are starting to emerge from their nests in search of food, leading to the annual question from frustrated wasps of ‘What exactly is the point of...

Vertically Challenged Giant 08.08.11 9:07am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Martian Water plc lifts hosepipe ban. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 9:51am
Nietzsche earns respect of Joey Barton.

Alienated Newcastle footballer Joey Barton has been telling followers on Twitter about his "respect" for German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Scouser Barton has informed his 170,665 readers that...

rebel not taken 16.08.11 9:20pm
Hero cop saved as crim's bullet is blocked by his wad from News International! 0
ronseal 05.08.11 9:33am
Car crash forces Mr Bean to abandon ‘Mr Atkinson’ pilot programme 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:25am
Duncan Biscuit
Blonde Ohio club hostess confirms Tiger Woods is nearly back to his best 1
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:38am
Mounting fear that Macca hacker may release Linda McCartney recordings 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:24am
Duncan Biscuit
Facebook blames Pickles as thousands of confused councillors reveal their asses 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:24am
Duncan Biscuit
Bank of Mum and Dad to be nationalised after sub prime pocket money scandal. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 9:14am
Lemmings down 4%. More $oon. 1
red 05.08.11 8:32am
Italian finance minister to boost markets with striptease

Italian Finance Minister Carla Romagna has promised 'a stiff response' to market jitters over a possible default by her debt-laden country. Addressing parliament she vowed to take off an item of...

Darkbill 2.0 04.08.11 10:40pm
Darkbill 2.0
Countryside Alliance wants more affordable rural housing - but not round here... 0
deskpilot3 04.08.11 10:25pm
Sooty silent on phone hacking claims. More soon 2
nickb 05.08.11 3:12pm
MP's facing 'impossible choice' between two huge fibbers

MPs' say they have no plans to call Piers Morgan for questioning over the hacking of Heather Mill's phone; while they struggle to decide which of the bare-faced whopper-mongers they should believe....

Darkbill 2.0 04.08.11 8:30pm
Darkbill 2.0
Mareseatoatsanddoeseatdoats, andlittlelambsaretasty. 0
Al OPecia 04.08.11 8:23pm
Al OPecia
The longer you live, the more likely you'll reach the age of 100 say experts. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 4:21pm
Insurance company pays out after meerkat free gift causes house fire. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 4:10pm
New Zealand All Blacks questioned by Met over haka scandal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.08.11 4:06pm
Tea Party expels activist found awake, smelling coffee, reading writing on wall

Leading Tea Party activist Randy Shitforbrains was last night sensationally expelled from the movement., In a statement, a spokesman said Shitforbrains had been seen reading some writing he found...

FraserWords 15.08.11 9:24am
Research shows 90% of ideas are derived from excrement from bulls 0
Dumbnews 04.08.11 3:34pm
Smartphone addiction rising among thick people 2
Christopher Frost 04.08.11 3:48pm
World's most allergic man slams 'rubbish' hayfever sufferers

A slight upturn in the weather has seen people all over the country, who didn’t play in the dirt enough as children, recommence sneezing, sniffling and discussing the pollen count. But Paul Masters...

Vertically Challenged Giant 04.08.11 3:38pm
Asda introduces "slapping friendly areas" for shoppers with small children

Supermarket chain Asda is to create 'slapping areas' where frustrated parents can legally hit their children without causing offence to other shoppers. "Like it or not, administering reasonable...

nickb 05.08.11 7:28pm
The All New Jeni B