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Christmas to be brought forward a week to avoid next round of arctic weather 2
Basil_B 4 years

With the Christmas break up set to coincide with the next outbreak of severe wintry weather conditions, the government have decided to break with tradition and bring christmas day forward one week to...

Germany threatens BMW export ban unless price of oil drops. 1
Ostsee 4 years
Sales executive fulfils all gift-buying obligations in “twenty minutes, tops”... 2
Doylem 4 years

“I get all my presents on Christmas Eve from the 24-hour petrol station on the bypass”, boasts Jim Sanders, with misplaced pride. “For the kids I get furry dice, tubs of Swarfega and maybe one...

Red Sea to reopen. 2
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Pre-Christmas evening class: how to feign delight when unwrapping crap gifts... 0
Doylem 4 years
Hurley Opens Her Legs and Waits for a Tickle 0
De-scribe 4 years
Day 13 and BitchiLeaks continues to wreak havoc across the world. 1
MrChigleysAunt 4 years

The World, or at least that part of it which encompasses Oaklands Park, Beech Grove and The Dene, is braced for another day of revelations from the BitchiLeaks suburban gossip site which, some claim,...

Canal no 5 perfume: “so near”, as Christmas gift, “and yet so very far away”... 0
Doylem 4 years
Ballot-box/shredder combo: ideal gift for the totalitarian dictator in your life 1
Doylem 4 years
Holy smoke pastor banned from meeting 0
Erlang 4 years

but he can join others in the car park smoke shelter by the smelly drains...

Home Secretary confirms Camilla was hit with an ugly stick. 6
MADJEZ 4 years

More treaseonous remarks soon...

Pastor Terry Jones has second thoughts: “We might burn Argos catalogue instead”. 0
Doylem 4 years
Marks and Spencer opens creche for men... 1
Doylem 4 years

“Our creche for men is proving to be a big success”, explains Janice Nichols, Customer Care Manager. “Most men would rather have a boil lanced than be dragged kicking and screaming around a...

Pastor Terry Jones “not as funny as in his Monty Python days”... 3
Doylem 4 years
Public confused as to where Camilla may have been "Poked with stick" 0
antharrison 4 years

New fears that Government does not have enough grit to last the winter... 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Dobbin the elf set to tell all in new North Pole expose 6
dogwheels 4 years

Dobbin the elf, who spent years as Santa's right-hand-man, is set to reveal all in a new autobiography which will send shockwaves through the festive season. The book, titled [i]Smell the Glove - My...

Qatar announced as surprise winner of X-Factor 0
antharrison 4 years

Following a last-minute intervention by Sepp Blatter and FIFA, the gulf state of Quatar has been crowned winner of the X-Factor, beating finalists Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson. "The contest was...

Cowell becomes god, and replaces Christian relic with: X-FACTOR-MAS 0
wolfie 4 years

Cow-ell, Cow-ell, the angels did sing. "It's about time someone finally stepped forward with a real god to worship - me. Who else in this country can turn crap into money, turn someone's life...

Frankie Boyle and Jordan to marry in the new year. 2
Basil_B 4 years
Did the Daily Mail lure Camilla into the path of student rioters? 1
deskpilot3 4 years

More conspiracy theories soon...

Guantanemo detainees protest about orange jump suits. 2
deskpilot3 4 years

People shout rude things, throw things at us and make our lives miserable. It's the orange suits - they think we're Lib Dems...

US reveals plans to invade UK, Sweden to arrest Assange 0
petebrown 4 years

More soon, I fear...

Clegg admits "Tories would only accept student fees policy or PR. We chose PR." 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Extraordinary ‘we were only joking’ admission from Cameron & Clegg 4
Nick Wright 4 years

'We were only joking,' claimed Cameron and Clegg in an extraordinary turn of events earlier today. 'We were surprised the student fees hoax was taken so seriously. It was only intended as a bit of...

BNP considers new vote-winning policy of abolishing student fees... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

always at the forefront of thinking the unthinkable...

Cameron and Clegg discuss BNP with Mail in a vain attempt to make them comedic. 5
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

Desperately seeking 1 star from Ram...

New Michael Jackson CD defended by production team, Burke and Hare... 0
Doylem 4 years
Scouts to burn copies of the Koran... 0
Doylem 4 years

Says Kevin Elder, Chief Scout: “To win their ‘religious intolerance’ badge, scouts will have to burn a pile of holy books, without using more than one match”...

Camilla admits she'd rather be poked by a stick than a prince 0
roybland 4 years