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Submariners' wives choked, women will also be going down soon 0
medici2471 08.12.11 12:18pm
God releases Crab 2.0 featuring forward motion

At an open air press conference held at the summit of Mount Sinai today, God, creator of all things, revealed the long awaited upgrade of the crab. Speaking in a stentorian voice, and wearing his...

Gong of Fur 08.12.11 12:12pm
Lads mag interview a proctologist!!!!!!!!!!!

This week in 'generic weekly lads mag', we've got 30 pages of women's breasts accompanied by funny captions, pictures of cars which you probably can't afford, and an exclusive interview with Dr...

Shandy 08.12.11 12:11pm
Newsbiscuit joins HMV in apologising for publishing tomorrow's front page today 0
simonjmr 08.12.11 11:24am
n 7
charlies_hat 08.12.11 11:17am
Lorry driver arrested after motorway blow-out

Police brand hard-shoulder picnic irresponsible...

Major Clanger 08.12.11 11:01am
Major Clanger
3 year old says they liked innuendo laden pantomime as much as mum and dad 0
Iamthestig 08.12.11 10:58am
Recipients of Diesel's "Loverdose" perfume being treated with Penicillin 0
simonjmr 08.12.11 10:53am
Rooney pleased with hair transplant - now considering face transplant

I'll let anyone else develop the story!...

bumtrinket 08.12.11 9:40am
National Stalking Clinic's every move being watched 4
Username 08.12.11 9:21am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Outrage as some schools spend 2 years giving children answers to exams 0
fernandomando 08.12.11 9:01am
Ethnic fashionistas wrapping up warm this winter, as burqins hit the high street 0
Username 08.12.11 8:47am
"Windows 7 critical updates slowly eroded my self-esteem" - Former Microsoft CEO 0
Username 08.12.11 8:28am
Newly opened stalking clinic inundated with calls 0
charlies_hat 08.12.11 8:18am
Windows 7 critical updates hacked by Apple software engineers.

Messages include ‘what a ghastly looking machine’, ‘oh, dear, has it crashed again?' and ‘you really should buy an iMac, they’re far superior in every way.'...

John Ffitch-Rucker 08.12.11 8:14am
Man who swallowed watch just wanted to pass the time. 2
Major Clanger 08.12.11 8:11am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Left-handed men now 'even more frustrated' by new xxx domains 0
Username 08.12.11 8:08am
Harland & Wolff diversify into domestic cleaning market

with new range of tramp-steamers...

John Ffitch-Rucker 08.12.11 8:06am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Merseyside nativity play halted after donkey found jacked up on bricks.

A church nativity play was halted yesterday when a live donkey, booked to add a sense of reality to Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem, was found outside Kirkdale’s St Patrick’s Church Hall...

Stan 08.12.11 8:04am
Dickens or Shakespeare
Basel brush United aside

(I suspect the tabloids may have already done this one)...

Midfield Diamond 08.12.11 7:58am
Midfield Diamond
SAAB admits ‘we never really liked making cars’ after latest bankruptcy

Today SAAB went bankrupt for the 8th time in the last 2 years, breaking the previous record held by Rover cars and heralding a new low for the Swedish automotive industry. Mr Gustavs, the ex-owner...

Immunis 08.12.11 7:55am
Add-on selling taken to new extremes as Argos start pushing houses

In the run up to Christmas retailers who have had a tough year are trying to make the most of their seasonal boost in sales, by suggesting all manner of additional products that customers might like...

Vertically Challenged Giant 08.12.11 7:48am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Lauren Scruggs wanted to become an actress. But she kept walking into the props. 0
RJWinter 08.12.11 7:44am
Chat room debater make 100s of converts with CAPS LOCK and personal abuse

A student radical has created thousands of converts to socialism, with his judicious use of the CAPS LOCK key, personal abuse and Johan Hari style Heresay Fundamentalism. "Jeremy Clarkson should die...

ronseal 08.12.11 6:36am
Nick McCarr
PM's fury; "NOTW obtained medical records without proper payment"

David Cameron has expressed anger that the News of the World obtained the medical records of celebrities without the government receiving their cut...

apepper 08.12.11 6:15am
Lonely antique furniture collector names new cabinet 0
DorsetBoy 08.12.11 3:52am
Ignoring critical updates for your PC could cause it to explode, warns experts 0
Dumbnews 08.12.11 3:23am
Red alert wind warning as Eric Pickles turns vegetarian 1
JETFAB 07.12.11 11:29pm
European Champions League latest: London 2, Manchester 0

Who'd a thunk it ?...

DorsetBoy 07.12.11 10:50pm
Michael Barrymore to re-make 'My Kind Of People' with Pablo Escabar. 0
Monkeycustard 07.12.11 10:23pm