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UK Considers Argentinian Complaint to UN requires "Swift Military Response"

The UK government has said that Argentina flagrant and unjustified complaint to the UN about one or two British boats helping out our chums in the South Atlantic should rightly be considered an act...

thisisall1word 09.02.12 10:18am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Jeremy Clarkson is “carrying the seeds of his own destruction” He is a man more associated with horsepower than horticulture. But in a tersely worded statement, Jeremy Clarkson...

nickb 09.02.12 10:08am
Cameron comments on Capello 'resignation'. Oh hang on... he really did, you say?

More bollocks soon...

dvo4fun 09.02.12 10:03am
Redknapp appointed England Manager after friendlies arranged in Monaco and BVI

More tax haven friendlies soon...

grottymonty 09.02.12 10:02am
Rosie the Dog to stand in as England manager till May 0
Drylaw 09.02.12 9:55am
Buy a cage or we'll take the canary - RSPCA warns Auntie Mary. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 09.02.12 8:57am
Girl on the platform supports proposed law against stalking 0
pere floza 09.02.12 8:39am
pere floza
"South of the river" found gulty of taxi evasion

The area of London south of the river was today found guilty of evading taxis. Previously, many people thought that taxi drivers were to blame, but in a landmark judgement, it was confirmed the the...

apepper 09.02.12 8:22am
Trevor Philips is appointed as Manager of England football team.

Trevor Philips is appointed as Manager of England football team...

Ian 09.02.12 6:32am
Facebook implements new privacy setting, "My gender only" 0
Dumbnews 09.02.12 5:41am
America's got talent features man using slow computer without swearing 0
Dumbnews 09.02.12 2:36am
Police seek ukelele player over train station rapes

More to come when I have the energy...

hughesroland 09.02.12 12:13am
CERN staff prove you can't get better than a Kwik-Fit fitter 0
hughesroland 08.02.12 11:55pm
Fabio Capello Speaks To Italian Media

To criticise his own resignation...

mr blue 08.02.12 11:35pm
mr blue
‘God looks like Bagpuss’ says Archangel Dave

We are proud to present the world’s exclusive first interview with the Archangel Dave since his descent from Heaven last week. Immunis: So Dave why are you on Earth?, Dave: It’s a bit of market...

Immunis 08.02.12 11:18pm
Major Clanger
King Kong bemoans lack of ‘giant ape friendly’ public buildings

Hollywood legend King Kong has angrily hit out at the lack of provisions being made for giant apes in modern society. The 25 foot-tall movie icon believes that the continued failure to cater for...

08.02.12 11:10pm
Major Clanger
New social network just submits your profile to every other social network 0
Dumbnews 08.02.12 11:04pm
Store robber threatens owner with a negative online review 0
Dumbnews 08.02.12 11:01pm
Released Killer Whale sues for loss of earnings

Clyde the killer whale released by the Florida Marine Park after 2 years of campaigning by protesters, is now suing Greenpeace for loss of earnings and undue stress. Clyde was wistful when we spoke...

Immunis 08.02.12 10:30pm
'Employee Of The Month' turns down 'generous £50 bonus'

Receptionist and Peter Paperclip PLC's 'Employee Of The Month' for January Sarah Hannigan, has publicly announced her decision to turn down the cash bonus that comes with the aforementioned accolade....

Perks 08.02.12 9:52pm
Man utters bureaucratically untenable opinion and resigns in same sentence 0
kga6 08.02.12 9:42pm
Italian General waves white flag following court martial of trusted Captain 1
markbuontempo 08.02.12 9:04pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Redknapp would consider England job for cash in 'and no questions like. 0
MADJEZ 08.02.12 7:56pm
New TV show ‘Man v Booze’ slammed as irresponsible

A spin-off from popular TV show ‘Man v Food’ has been branded ‘irresponsible and dangerous’ by health advisers. ‘Man v Booze’ premiered on Dave last week, in between repeats of Top Gear...

Vertically Challenged Giant 08.02.12 7:53pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Sepp Blatter and FIFA endorse Harry Redknapp as the next England manager 0
charlies_hat 08.02.12 7:39pm
Football fans angry as FA announce 'Capello re-signs' 0
Perks 08.02.12 7:33pm
America's got talent features man fiting tent back into its original bag 0
Dumbnews 08.02.12 7:09pm
Meet Spunky – UK Sea Fun Centre’s first sperm whale!

He weighs 52000 Kilos and he’s 19 metres long and thousands of kids will be shouting “We want Spunk!” when the UK’s first captive sperm whale appears at Southport’s Sea Fun centre. Many...

nickb 08.02.12 6:30pm
Mattel expands into Islamic extremist market with new Barbie blow-up doll

Popular toy manufacturer, Mattel, is expanding into the hard-to-crack Islamic extremist market with a new exploding version of their flagship doll, Barbie. The new doll has already caused buying...

Qoxiivi 08.02.12 5:51pm
Mother of 15lb Chinese baby embarks on new career as garage 1
pere floza 08.02.12 5:33pm