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Home Secretary deports “fanatical” Abu Qatada to Geordieland

Home Secretary Theresa May yesterday confirmed that fanatical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada has been deported to Newcastle. The move happened on Tuesday last week, with immigration officials whisking Mr...

Yikes 24.04.12 1:26pm
Midfield Diamond
Under pressure May to deport Timmy Mallett instead

Under fire Home Secretary Theresa May has told the House of Commons that following their inability to deport Abu Qatada to Jordan the Government has commenced proceedings to deport Timmy Mallett to...

ianslat 24.04.12 12:50pm
Met Office reveals

that 2012 could be the wettest drought since records began...

Rootin Tootin 24.04.12 12:41pm
Met. Office admit manipulating weather using reverse psychology 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 24.04.12 12:25pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
NASA plan to launch pasty into space denounced as "Pie in the Sky" 2
Sinnick 24.04.12 12:12pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Firefighters fined for repeatedly flouting hosepipe ban

A fire station in south-west London has become the first casualty of the hosepipe fines after continuing to breach the conditions laid down by the drought restrictions. ‘Despite numerous written...

Mary Evans 24.04.12 11:18am
Newham Council outsources Social Clensing to every other Tuesday 0
Scronnyglonkle 24.04.12 10:08am
Tourettes Sufferers With Swear Boxes, To Link Up With Savings Bank.....

'It's effing logical, in it!'...

Jesse Bigg 24.04.12 9:07am
Jesse Bigg
New "Granny" Sat-Navs Also Able To Locate Keys.......

.purses, TV controls and "What have I come upstairs for?"...

Jesse Bigg 24.04.12 9:05am
Jesse Bigg
Rangers blue 'cos Whyte's in the red 4
charlies_hat 24.04.12 8:57am
Charities consider snipers for London Marathon after tragedy proves lucrative. 2
MADJEZ 24.04.12 8:49am
Chicken Cottage issues profit warning on news of social cleansing 0
Old Hat 24.04.12 7:36am
Old Hat
Englishness celebrated by lauding Macedonian who slayed mythical beast 0
Old Hat 24.04.12 7:05am
Old Hat
Cameron not posh, knows price of milk; One guinea from Fortnum & Mason. 0
MADJEZ 24.04.12 2:33am
Hitler Hologram to tour this summer 0
Hooch 24.04.12 1:31am
Have you been charged excessive fees to claim back PPI, call this number..... 0
MADJEZ 23.04.12 10:26pm
Markets plunge on possibility of Frenchman being elected

Traders took fright after the first round of the French presidential elections. There are persistent rumours that front-runner Francois Hollande might be French rather than Dutch as previously...

ErikP 23.04.12 9:31pm
Shakespeare "too posh" to be leading playwrite says Tory MP

Maverick Tory spokesperson, Nadine ("Our Doris") Dories slammed upper crust wordsmith William Shakespeare for being out of touch with ordinary people., [quote]Once he wrote [i]"Now, in the names of...

ErikP 23.04.12 9:25pm
Dangerous dog owners to have chips removed from their shoulders 3
charlies_hat 23.04.12 7:23pm
Ashley Young reads your horoscopes

Alright. I’m Ashley Young and this is my guide to what the coming week has in store for you. Taurus, You’ll fall out of bed tomorrow morning, but when you tell people in an attempt to garner...

Qoxiivi 23.04.12 6:28pm
Mindless reptile slaughter celebrated

English folk celebrated traditionally on Monday in memory of popular reptile murderer Saint George, a man lauded for the homicide of the world's last remaining dragon in an act George himself...

BAJDixon 23.04.12 5:49pm
Spectrum anniversary wrecked as hackers snap out cassette tabs 0
cinquecento 23.04.12 5:28pm
Fire Brigade finding creative ways to beat hosepipe ban

Firefighters in areas affected by the hosepipe ban are making a splash with their imaginative new water delivery systems. Firemen in North London were initially angry with water bosses' decisions to...

kga6 23.04.12 4:59pm
Nick Griffin to 'camp it up a bit' following success of Marine Le-Pen 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.04.12 4:54pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Man not going anywhere nice for the holidays banned from every hair salon in UK

A Croydon man who admitted he's not going anywhere nice for his holidays and that he hadn't got any plans for Xmas has been banned from every branch of Hair Associates in the country. A judge...

ronseal 23.04.12 4:50pm
Dangerous fish to be chipped

Sorry weematt!...

bonjonelson 23.04.12 4:48pm
Germany starting World War III, “looking less likely.”

Following the success of extreme Right Wing candidate Marine Le Pen in the French election and growing fears over Iran’s plans for their uranium enrichment plants fears that the Germans will start...

Hooch 23.04.12 4:42pm
30 years on Sinclair Spectrum owners still wait for Manic Miner to load. 0
MADJEZ 23.04.12 4:36pm
RIP: Betty's Hot Pot

Thousands of Coronation Street fans were in mourning over the weekend over the loss of one of the programme’s favourite stars. Viewers wore black clothes and armbands to mark the passing of one...

Mark Gregory 23.04.12 4:16pm
Mark Gregory
Man with team of archers and a gigantic catapult may have had "siege mentality'

A man dressed in chainmail, with a massive sword, an enormous catapult capable of firing boulders and a team of archers was accused of developing a siege mentality yesterday, after he tried to cut...

ronseal 23.04.12 3:50pm