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Tests show that Gavin from Autoglass's accent can crack a windscreen

from two streets away...

greg various 11.08.11 11:51am
greg various
Novelty microphones getting out of hand say media watchers

virtuallywill 11.08.11 11:50am
Coca Cola to launch Arab Spring and British Summer brands

"Democracy is coming. democracy is coming. Arab Spring is the real thing" "I'd like to teach to Brits to loot and riot in perfect disharmony. English Summer it's the real thing" More soon...

simonjmr 11.08.11 11:08am
Candle shops targeted as riots turn into vigils 0
Fake Vegetarian 11.08.11 10:43am
Fake Vegetarian
Parliament and Jeremy Kyle show recalled

In an emergency move, Jeremy Kyle has been rescheduled for August., Not only has his absence caused rooters to stop watching television, but it is hoped that his depth of understanding in social...

Greysetter 11.08.11 10:04am
Rioting in the rain? We're not THAT thick, say Mancunians 0
Oxbridge 11.08.11 8:56am
Police intelligence learns criminals planning to assemble in Westminster today 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:37am
Duncan Biscuit
Chelsea’s rivals send Torres best wishes for speedy recovery from injury 2
Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:43pm
greg various
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Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:35am
Duncan Biscuit
. 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:35am
Duncan Biscuit
Tottenham looter was Old Etonian toff.

Two public school boys who took part in widespread looting have told friends on Facebook that the rioting was "Awesome" and have boasted about "getting freebies from rich tossers." The posh yobs,...

rebel not taken 11.08.11 8:21am
rebel not taken
New Mr Men launched for 40th Anniversary

Marking the anniversary and also the change in economical and cultural styles the Mr Men launched a new range Mr Benefit - never worked in his life and has claimed for any and everything, Mr Spam -...

brownpaperreporter 11.08.11 8:14am
Camp site attacked by polari bear 8
charlies_hat 12.08.11 8:34am
News from Scotland Yard

The Met's Acting Commissioner, Tim Godwin, and his Senior Team Return to New Scotland Yard [url=]img...

arflaethel 11.08.11 7:22am
Norwegian tradgedies worsen - a-ha to reunite. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.08.11 6:47am
Al OPecia
Police sirens to be replaced with a recording of Brian Blessed. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.08.11 6:43am
Al OPecia
Homeopathic jokes "just not strong enough". More soon. 5
Al OPecia 12.08.11 3:28pm
Police deny ‘favouritism’ after minefield is laid around Chipping Norton.

Thames Valley Police have today denied resource favouritism and overreacting to recent events after officers were seen raising a perimeter fence, laying a minefield and digging a moat around the town...

Corrigan 10.08.11 10:27pm
Kaiser Chiefs in "we told you so "shocker

[More soon]...

dicky37 11.08.11 6:38am
Al OPecia
Sixteen-year-old wins Scowling Teen of the Year Award

Blackpool schoolgirl Lucy Lusted (16) was last night voted Scowling Teen of the Year by teen mag Sulk.,  , Sulk's editor Belinda Bowles (18) said the judges were 'blown away by Lucy's superior...

roybland 10.08.11 8:04pm
Millionaire murderer to be extradited

even though he's clinically depressed about being found out...

greg various 10.08.11 6:10pm
greg various
Some of the rioters aren't even interested in football, complains Harry The Dog 0
ronseal 10.08.11 4:44pm
Tottenham Hostpur offer to rebuild riot-hit areas with new stadium. 0
martin2381 10.08.11 3:39pm
Rioters in Bristol cause £16m worth of improvements. 0
martin2381 10.08.11 3:34pm
Ryanair offers looting holidays to London and Birmingham.

And would you put it past them?...

martin2381 10.08.11 3:33pm
Millwall fans defend Eltham.

They are patrolling the streets singing "no one loots us we don't care"...

rebel not taken 10.08.11 3:11pm
rebel not taken
E-Looters target Amazon website by throwing bricks at own laptop screens.

Morons Soon...

seymour totti 10.08.11 3:00pm
seymour totti
Southern Rail ‘to put woman on Moon’ by 2015

Southern Railway has announced a bold plan to put a person on the Moon by 2015, while warning that engineering works and unforeseen atmospheric conditions could delay arrival by a year or so....

Des Custard 10.08.11 2:42pm
Des Custard
Politicians repeated over-use of 'Robust' almost on par with 'Deeply Saddened'

Repeated questions to explain themselves in depth ignored. More soon...

The Return of DroleNoel 10.08.11 2:37pm
The Return of DroleNoel
Met Police call in ex-News of the World journalists to hack rioters Blackberries

Faced with sophisticated rioters organising themselves through Blackberry Messenger, the Metropolitan Police has called in specialist support from telecoms and intelligence-gathering experts who...

Long Distance Clara 10.08.11 5:00pm
Zadok the second