Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Cameron runs from veto talks shouting "me no speaky Englisch"

Any reason to avoid coming up with more lame excuses...

0
kimllfixit 12.12.11 10:41am
kimllfixit
Hague "stiffened Cameron's spine as he entered the meeting"

As quoted by the Times today - I bet old Willie did...

0
simonjmr 12.12.11 10:24am
simonjmr
Coldplay crowned winners in surprise X Factor vote 0
medici2471 12.12.11 10:02am
medici2471
Nick Clegg admits he had his fingers crossed when he made election promises

Coming to the end of what has been another difficult year for him, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has finally admitted what many have suspected for some time – he had his fingers crossed when he...

1
Vertically Challenged Giant 12.12.11 9:51am
Username
Stiff opposition expected to increased funeral expenses 0
Major Clanger 12.12.11 8:59am
Major Clanger
Man hurt drinking bubbly admits it was sham pain. 0
Westsider 12.12.11 6:54am
Westsider
New South African mineral drink "tastes like Boer Water" say health experts..

New South African mineral drink "tastes like Boer Water" say health experts....

0
Westsider 12.12.11 6:49am
Westsider
New Bundesliga team Möbius United unveil strip

<insert other football/mathematical puns here>...

0
DorsetBoy 12.12.11 5:22am
DorsetBoy
"Halfwitz is our national tragedy" admits Tory MP 0
Username 12.12.11 3:22am
Username
Depressed mathematician proves Möbius strip has no funny side.

.. hattip to JohnA...

0
Username 12.12.11 3:13am
Username
6000 years of Merkel cult?

"With a curvaceous figure and short stubby arms, the discovery of a 6,000-year-old earth mother in France shows "...

0
Username 12.12.11 3:10am
Username
Health and safety demands of looters finally being met

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2072683/Sony-OLED-Flat-screen-TV-rolled-pocket.html Good start, but there must be hundreds of innovative technologies and operational improvement...

0
Username 12.12.11 3:01am
Username
'Too soon to rule out modelling as next career' reveals top cop Hogan-Howes

.. [would be a shame to waste this as a ticker] 'I'd love to be a detective - that would be my dream job - and autopsies, anything about that. I'd like to go to a murder scene and try to work out...

0
Username 12.12.11 2:45am
Username
von Clegg...

is the punchline of tomorrow's ticker. How did it go again?...

0
Username 12.12.11 2:29am
Username
Little Mix thrown back as 'undersize' under European 'good taste' guidelines 0
Username 12.12.11 2:20am
Username
"August Ferdinand Möbius couldn't see the funny side" says biographer

Yes, NB is going to shirt. Deal with it...

1
JohnA 12.12.11 2:12am
Username
Irish Dwarf band 'Little Micks' conquer X-Factor final.

More soon, begorra.. http://getfile9.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2011-11-17/CimAyvilJHveaqkyCsDGvlvteoBstvvejHGjizctrhCjGbFcAkHHjluueney/lepreachuans-jh-01.jpg.scaled500.jpg...

0
MADJEZ 12.12.11 12:18am
MADJEZ
Climate Change conference ends in success as snow fails to fall in Durban

Al Gore failed to show up...

0
JohnA 12.12.11 12:02am
JohnA
Clegg preparing for life as "Political Pygmy" after next election 0
MT Bucket 11.12.11 10:47pm
MT Bucket
Global warming

.. Want to write a one-liner with the (implied) punchline that Nigella Lawson is hotter than Nigel Lawson, but can't get it started. Any suggestions?...

2
Username 11.12.11 10:19pm
apepper
Man sues Sainsburys when Bag For Life fails to save dying wife

“Im not a first aider but isn’t that what it is supposed to do?” asks Mr Saddler, whose wife passed away in Mitcham Sainsburys on Saturday. “Clearly says “Bag for life” on it, but the...

4
brownpaperreporter 11.12.11 8:48pm
dvo4fun
Controversy as London Mathematical Society launches Möbius Strip club 9
pinxit 11.12.11 7:53pm
apepper
Eau de Pickles decared a "Retail flop"

Communities minister Eric Pickles was said to be "Disappointed" that the expensive perfume that bears his name has not sold as well as predicted in the run-up to Christmas. "We were hoping to sell...

0
antharrison 11.12.11 6:02pm
antharrison
Climate change talks slammed as "Just so much hot air!" 0
dvo4fun 11.12.11 5:13pm
dvo4fun
Cameron veto's tide, silly Cnut. 0
reforse 11.12.11 4:06pm
reforse
Eric Pickles to tackle Britiain's "problem families" by eating them. 0
MT Bucket 11.12.11 3:32pm
MT Bucket
Huhne compares Coalition to "a marriage" and asks Hague to take his points 0
MT Bucket 11.12.11 3:30pm
MT Bucket
Lib Dems to mount 'dirty protest' over Euro fiasco in next Cabinet meeting 0
MT Bucket 11.12.11 3:27pm
MT Bucket
Opposition to shop worktop census grows in counter counter counter move

More confusion to follow...

0
apepper 11.12.11 3:16pm
apepper
Protuberance in Clegg's trousers could be emerging cojones 0
Drylaw 11.12.11 2:33pm
Drylaw