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'72 is the new 30' say people who have a birthday every 2.4 years 0
roybland 26.02.13 9:06pm
New food scandal - Rennard found in lady Liberal Democrat activists

Traces of Rennard have been found in several lady Liberal Democrat activists it was revealed today., General Manager Nick Clegg said that the discovery had played havoc with the party's Eastleigh...

geokay 26.02.13 8:57pm
Pippa Middleton signs to Waitrose, home delivery get a little behind with orders 0
Ian Searle 26.02.13 8:57pm
Ian Searle
Politician grateful to be mistaken for comedian

Tory bi-election candidate Maria Hutchings has credited comedians like John O'Farrell and Beppe Grillo for the confusion in voters' minds as to who is running for election and who is doing a standup...

sydalg 26.02.13 8:51pm
Lib Dems "we were just groping about in the dark for policy ideas"

Hat tip Dick Everyman...

sillybugger 26.02.13 8:49pm
Sir Ranulph Fiennes pulls out of Antarctic trek due to “public apathy”...

Sir Ranulph Fiennes - ‘Ran’ to his friends - has pulled out of his latest yawn-inducing adventure due to the fact that the public really couldn’t give a flying fuck whether he reaches the South...

Tripod 26.02.13 8:48pm
Frostbite claims final piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes

The last piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes has fallen off due to extreme frostbite. The 68 year old Victorian throwback had been attempting to cross the frozen aisle in Aldi when his last remaining...

wallster 26.02.13 8:35pm
Self-cleaning glass ceiling leaves bosses speechless

A new self-cleaning glass ceiling has left male corporate bosses in a major London business nonplussed 'When I've complained that there's a glass ceiling blocking my advancement in the company,'...

roybland 26.02.13 8:14pm
Briscoe Arrested - Confused Pryce Jury Ask: "Er, Which Woman Are We Trying?" 0
Titus 26.02.13 7:15pm
Woman Lib Dem Condidiate Sues For Discrimiation After She Is Not Groped. 0
Titus 26.02.13 7:06pm
Indirect, non-specific sheep turns out to be horse - Clegg complicit 6
Squudge 26.02.13 4:59pm
Italian election result inspires launch of ‘Fuck Off Huhne Day’

Following his fellow comic Beppe Grillo’s success in the Italian election, polling day for the Eastleigh by-election has been labelled by the Labour candidate, satirist John O’Farrell, as ‘Fuck...

Midfield Diamond 26.02.13 4:28pm
Slante Dangle
Chief Investigator Botha "Mis-sold PPI"

The prosecution of Oscar Pistorius over the death of Reeva Steenkamp took another dramatic turn on Thursday after the chief investigator, Hilton Botha, was again recalled to the court following the...

26.02.13 2:29pm
Cardinal resigns to pursue career as radio 1 DJ

More details have emerged about Cardinal Keith O'Brien resignation. Plans have been announced for Mr O'Brien to host a revived Top of the Pops and a weekend show on Radio 1...

apepper 26.02.13 2:01pm
Farting in front of the vicar is inappropriate but....

shoving your finger up the Bishop of Durham's crack is pricless...

shaggy 26.02.13 1:48pm
Lens Cap
Meat Product's Found to contain 8% Superfluous Apostrophes 1
Titus 26.02.13 1:25pm
Actual Size
Choirboys may contain traces of primate DNA 0
Actual Size 26.02.13 1:18pm
Actual Size
Arsenal can still cure cancer says Wenger 1
topfotogmw 26.02.13 12:17pm
Midfield Diamond
Appropriateness workshop marred by bum-fondling outbreak

They were hailed as a human resources revolution. After a tidal wave of inappropriateness, appropriateness workshops round the country could hardly cope with the huge numbers of catholic clergy,...

nickb 26.02.13 12:11pm
Midfield Diamond
Still hope for O’Farrell as comedians sway Italian voters... 2
Tripod 26.02.13 12:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Liberals failing the untouchability test must go

Touching amongst same gender colleagues is deemed appropriate but touching bodyparts of the opposite sex or to complain about it is a clear sign of lack of liberal attitude. After all, if Clegg had...

4ty2 26.02.13 11:42am
Bit Missing From Ikea Meatballs - Reins And Saddle Still Present 1
Titus 26.02.13 11:13am
Farmworker meat found in shepherd's pie 0
Actual Size 26.02.13 10:53am
Actual Size
Eastleigh child, 8, slams “rubbish” media circus

Promises that an Eastleigh meet the candidates meeting would be a ‘media circus’ were well wide of the mark, according to Gavin Henderson, aged 8. ‘I was looking forward to the candidates...

Yikes 26.02.13 9:59am
Goat meat found in 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' 0
Actual Size 26.02.13 9:52am
Actual Size
Excited Lord Rennard tells Lib Dem whistle-blowers to pretend it’s an ice block

.. some Tuesday morning smut ....

Yikes 26.02.13 9:18am
Very tiring week for tyre supplier

It's all been a right week for a few days down at Forbes Tyres in Huddersfield. For the tyre firm has seen it all this week - and more! For on the beginning of the week a blaze broke out. Thick...

Mik Bulk 26.02.13 9:02am
Lib-Dems to unveil new slogan: ‘Tits out for the lads’... 0
Tripod 26.02.13 9:02am
Prosthetic legs favourite for best supporting Oscar??? 0
shaggy 26.02.13 8:36am
American's repulsion to horse meat contains traces of bull shit

Dumbnews 26.02.13 5:48am