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Cameron "incensed" that plan to remove Dorries fails in Commons vote. More soon 0
Al OPecia 29.01.13 9:01pm
Al OPecia
Researchers find E-Cigarette addiction can be tackled by battery substitutes 0
custard cream 29.01.13 8:47pm
custard cream
Nursery changes mean more plants per teacher 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 8:45pm
One Line Only
Cats kill birds and mice, research shows 0
Scroat 29.01.13 7:08pm
Geordies vow revenge after the Angel of the North is defiled with a coat

In an act of vandalism that is described as being ‘as insulting to Geordies as depicting the prophet Mohammed is to Muslims’, Newcastle’s famous Angle of the North has been given a coat....

Perks 29.01.13 6:56pm
Not Amused
Immigration via Channel Tunnel blocked by Pickles

Squudge 29.01.13 6:56pm
Camden pedestrian killed by falling betting shop sign

A spokesman said "What are the odds on that"...

callaway 29.01.13 6:37pm
UK Votes to Leave Scottish Union in Bid to Improve Average UK Life Expectancy 0
Titus 29.01.13 5:43pm
Radio presenter throttles guest for answering questions with ‘So...’

A local breakfast-radio host has admitted manslaughter during an interview with an early morning guest. Brian ‘Blaster’ Bamford was twenty minutes into his drive-in show on Pembrokeshire’s...

Dick Everyman 29.01.13 5:21pm
Paddy Berzinski
Reading bus company running on bullshit sub too obvious to bother with 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 5:12pm
Gove denies screaming EEEEbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccc during sex.

Education Secretary, Michael Gove, today denied screaming the word Ebacc into his wife's face during sex., In his dulcet, closeted, Aberdonian tones, Mr Gove, or to the M, to the I, to the K, to...

pj 29.01.13 4:58pm
As the Queen abdicates, Charles accepts his royal destiny...

“I announce my abdication from the throne of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, with immediate effect”, said the Queen today, as her loyal subjects huddled round their wirelesses. "My son...

Tripod 29.01.13 3:43pm
Son of Barnabas
Queen takes hint from Beatrix, announcing that “Britain is now a republic”... 0
Tripod 29.01.13 3:01pm
“We listened to our fans”, says Bob Geldof, denying Boomtown Rats reunion... 0
Tripod 29.01.13 2:30pm
Programme Management Conference date unexpectedly brought forward

The Annual Conference for Programme Management professionals, originally scheduled for June 2013, is now to take place in March. It is understood that Conference organisers The International...

Midfield Diamond 29.01.13 2:24pm
Man stays up all night to photograph Prince Harry

A man, believed to be close to tasty nail technician, Pimmy 'Pimms' Anstruther, was up all night yesterday waiting for Prince Harry to leave a rave in Fulham. Vic Lubbock, a freelance photographer...

29.01.13 2:15pm
On Office Workers’ Day we remember the fallen...

“This is the day”, said Kevin, a drone from Sector C, “when we remember the sacrifices made by office workers, and the dangers they face each and every day at work - from frayed computer cables...

Tripod 29.01.13 2:12pm
Rejected questions from new UK Citizenship Test

The Central Office of Information has published rejected questions for the new Citizenship Test for UK applicants. These include: 'What is the UK flag called at sea?' - This was rejected because...

custard cream 29.01.13 2:10pm
Mali: British troops sent to train the French not to surrender. 0
MADJEZ 29.01.13 2:10pm
HS2: We can't wait to get started say Indian steel firms & German train builders 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 2:04pm
Ping-Pong Cameron.....

Pulling out of Afghanistan, into Mali, and back into Afghanistan again?...

Jesse Bigg 29.01.13 1:38pm
Jesse Bigg
Shanklin have-a-go hero was "a complete idiot"

The family of a Shanklin, Isle of Wight man, who was injured last night after he tried to stop a raid on a high street jewellers, have spoken of their shame and embarassment. Lance Boyle, 71, was...

Son of Barnabas 29.01.13 1:36pm
Son of Barnabas
High speed link to Cloud Cuckoo Land to kick-start UK economy 2
ianslat 29.01.13 1:23pm
Gerald Scarfe apologies for "grotesque, offensive newspaper owner" 0
charlies_hat 29.01.13 1:02pm
PM confirms Diversity will be part of 350 troupes set to Mali 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 1:00pm
One Line Only
Britain to send 40 trainspotters to Mali to discourage extremism

no more bad virgin jokes ever...

Not Amused 29.01.13 12:54pm
Not Amused
X-Factor 2013: Competitors to face 'Mexican Cantina Tour' challenge 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 11:53am
Queen Elizabeth II to abdicate for ‘talented son’ - decides to adopt

After hearing that Dutch Monarch, Queen Beatrix, was abdicating in favour of her ‘talented son’, Queen Elizabeth II revealed that she is also considering such a plan, and has asked advisors...

Yikes 29.01.13 10:28am
Open University lecturers rescued from BBC tunnel

A police operation is underway at Shepherd's Bush today following the discovery of a tunnel connecting BBC1, BBC2 and the other terrestrial channels. It is thought that up to 50 Open University...

Not Amused 29.01.13 10:20am
Not Amused
Fears of influx of migrants to Eric Pickles' arse

Tens of thousands of migrants could move to Eric Pickles' arse when temporary curbs on 29 million Romanian and Bulgarian nationals right to live and work up the Communities Secretary's bottom expire...

roybland 29.01.13 9:35am