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PM refused to be drawn on stalking artist claim 2
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 7:29am
Theodore Sprangshaft
George Galloway "Abu Qatada is misunerstood! and wants to be a scout leader" ! 1
wilkieone 01.04.12 7:13am
Mr Target
What is the point of 'The Midlands'?

So annoying when you are trying to get from Manchester to London or vice versa? Can't we move it closer to Norfolk so that we have all the really boring places in one spot?...

Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 7:02am
Mr Target
Marylebone take down statue of it's most famous son..

Norman Wisdom after it fell over for the 5th time...

Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 4:43am
Theodore Sprangshaft
I have never understood why they test cosmetics

and perfumes on rabbits as they can't afford to buy it no matter how good they smell or look after...

Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 4:30am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Arab Spring most likely caused by ‘accident with a jerry can’ , claim experts

The popular uprisings that swept the Arab world in the spring of 2011 were most likely the result of Mohamed Bouazizi’s amateurish efforts to decant petrol from a jerry can in the kitchen of his...

Gary Stanton 31.03.12 11:03pm
Gary Stanton
Queue to 'panic charge' electric cars enters third week

A queue outside an on-street car charger has been cordoned off by Kensington council, as it extended to an 'unbelievable' third car. Following advice to keep their cars 'topped up' if they happen to...

31.03.12 10:17pm
North of England switched off during Earth Hour 0
Mandy Lifeboat 31.03.12 8:49pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Apple and Blackberry Crumble

Blackberry announce $125mil loss. Apple under investigation for "Working Practices" in China. Government worried that panic buying of custard will cause havoc in Tescos...

anhodika 31.03.12 8:29pm
Armed Forces strike: Government advice blamed for ‘panic’ Falklands Invasion.

The UK government has changed its advice for Argentina to, “top up your tanks”, after a panic invasion of the Falkland Islands. On Thursday, Prime Minister David Cameron advised...

HenroPlod 31.03.12 8:10pm
Former Monkey Mike Nesmith elected leader of Unionist Party.

MADJEZ 31.03.12 8:00pm
Horse Survives Accident

Apparently, according to his owners, he's in a stable condition...

GillsImp 31.03.12 7:05pm
Runestone Cowboy
Vin Diesel unhappy about his reputation

Vin Diesel has threatened to sue the UK government over slurs that Diesel is in short supply. He stated that he is still available for work...

GillsImp 31.03.12 6:57pm
Petrol Heads Game Show to be Re-visited

the BBC are looking at bringing back the game show Petrol Heads hosted by Neil Morrissey., A BBC spokesperson stated that the time was right to bring back this fantastic show at a time of fuel...

GillsImp 31.03.12 6:18pm
New virus causing irrational and panic buying behaviour has been identified

A new virus has been identified causing a pandemic amoungst the population. The WHO (world health organisation) have released details of this virus, stating, "it causes irrational behaviour,...

Claire 31.03.12 6:10pm
Cameron to feature in new Blockbuster

David Cameron is to feature in a new docu film highlighting his leadership of the coalition government. the film will focus heavily on his policies in particular his treatment of the elderly and so...

wilkieone 31.03.12 5:49pm
Jesse Bigg
Pasty Gate Latest

I built a gate out of pasties. Fell apart when I tried to open it. Smelt good though...

GillsImp 31.03.12 5:05pm
Cameron demands ministerial announcements are subject to gaffe controls.

Following a long and difficult week Prime Minister Cameron has decreed that all ministerial announcements are checked for gaffes, and any escape is controlled quickly. Cabinet Minister Francis Maude...

weematt 31.03.12 4:42pm
Labour "not insensitive to petrol injury woman" claims spokesman, Andy Burnham 0
LittleSpender 31.03.12 4:30pm
Calls for Maude's resignation intensify as fire breaks out on cruise ship 1
nostra da mouse 31.03.12 3:46pm
Shock Portas Pilot Town win for Mogadishu

The citizens of war-torn Mogadishu have erupted into a frenzy of celebration as news broke that their city had been picked to become a Portas Pilot Town. The Somalian capital was considered a rank...

flim-flam 31.03.12 1:25pm
"Big Society" To Be Narrowed Down To Two Divisions......

Division 1: Dave's mates., Division 2: Those who can see the "Big Society" in the 'all together.'...

Jesse Bigg 31.03.12 12:36pm
Jesse Bigg
Eating out: Chip shop chain to use only LowVAT* fryers.

Cheapass Chips, the popular high street chip shop chain intends to beat the budget by installing an innovative range of ambient temperature kitchen appliances. The new appliances known as LowVAT*...

weematt 31.03.12 12:35pm
"What's Happened? Is Something Amiss?", Asks Cameron.......

.As a recent poll survey reveals that UK voters are turning into Victor Meldrews. "I don't believe sh(one)t!"...

Jesse Bigg 31.03.12 12:15pm
Jesse Bigg
Tory Petrol Panic A Diversion.........

To allow Cameron to go on another overseas skive...

Jesse Bigg 31.03.12 11:47am
Jesse Bigg
Maude defends petrol position; "You should get your chauffeur to decant petrol"

Government minister, Francis Maude, has explained that he didn't mean for members of the public to decant petrol to store in one of their garages. "Obviously, one's chauffeur should do that sort of...

apepper 31.03.12 11:43am
Greggs launch petrol soaked pasties

Greggs the bakers have launched a new petrol soaked pasty product. It's sold cold and so avoids VAT yet can be easily heated simply by lighting with a match or lit cigarette. They can also be used as...

apepper 31.03.12 11:09am
Maude's position bolstered as gas flare extinguished 0
medici2471 31.03.12 11:05am
Francis Maude to duette with Prodigy at Glastonbury

Details of set list to be confirmed...

Scronnyglonkle 31.03.12 10:52am
Police say fire at Francis Maude's garage was just smoke and mirrors 2
Scronnyglonkle 31.03.12 10:50am