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Bishops stand firm and get relief as CoE delays introduction of women. 0
weematt 11.07.12 8:08am
Church of England delays vote on whether or not it is indecisive

The General Synod of the Church of England has today decided to delay the final vote on whether or not it is indecisive, so that a late amendment to the legislation could be further considered. The...

harristhenerd 10.07.12 11:35pm
Andy Carroll Shock Transfer Target For… Well, Anyone

Experts were confounded last night as it emerged that managers [yes,as in plural] are looking at Andy Carroll to improve their squads.s ‘The manager gets a nice severance packaged if he’s sacked...

Hooch 10.07.12 11:17pm
Police search for fresh evidence in 'Tetrapak' mystery death

House sealed to avoid contamination of possible crime scene...

charlieworth 10.07.12 11:06pm
Time Lords Reform "could be retrospective"

MP's of all parties hit out at plans to reform Time Lords retroactively,  with new measures coming into effect as early as 1893.  But supporters said reform could prevent the second chamber ever...

nickb 10.07.12 10:53pm
The All New Jeni B
PMQs: Harman challanges PM to name all original members of Band Aid

Speaker of the House John Bercow struggled to restrain an agitated house during Prime Minister’s Question Time on Wednesday, after Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport Harriet...

woodymellor 10.07.12 9:13pm
Lance Armstrong launches range of 'Livestrong' torniquets and needles 0
10.07.12 8:19pm
Torch relay streaker witnesses fail to see his point 1
charlies_hat 10.07.12 8:15pm
Gary Baldy
50 Shades book is 'about coal'

A new book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, by Cecilia Postlethwaite, has proved a massive hit. The book centres on the subservient relationship between a wife, her middle-aged husband and his...

Mark Gregory 10.07.12 8:09pm
Mark Gregory
Nation's husbands call for lawnmower ban

Four UK water companies have lifted the last hosepipe bans, triggering calls by Britain’s husbands to introduce a lawnmower ban instead in order to prevent dangerous levels of nagging about the...

The Paper Ostrich 10.07.12 8:03pm
Mark Gregory
Diamond downgraded to Graphite

Barclays have become a carbon copy of all the other banks...

Gary Baldy 10.07.12 8:02pm
Gary Baldy
Libor scandal: Bob Diamond 'dismayed' by being found out. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 10.07.12 7:51pm
Al OPecia
John Terry Worried Court Case "Might Be Jewish Conspiracy" 0
thisisall1word 10.07.12 7:51pm
Officer Dibell shooting, police call off hunt for Top Cat.

More over the line stuff soon...

MADJEZ 10.07.12 7:34pm
“Higgs is a Bozo”, claims angry clown.

A retired circus clown yesterday claimed that Professor Peter Higgs, the renowned physics professor, had stolen his idea for the elusive “God particle”. Bozo the Clown, excitedly told us last...

NewCriminal 10.07.12 6:29pm
Terry plays post-modern irony in defence...

Kierkegaard and Nietszche join team in mid-field...

Miss Hegas 10.07.12 6:07pm
Miss Hegas
Hawkeye to be trialled on comedy website

Following a series of controversial submissions which have provoked heated debates, ‘Hawkeye’ technology is to be trialled on a well-known spoof news website to determine whether the line was...

Midfield Diamond 10.07.12 6:07pm
Al OPecia
Dunblane: "Why us? First the school massacre and now Murray loses at Wimbledon." - 23 61
dvo4fun 10.07.12 6:03pm
Al OPecia
George Osborne 'prepared to admit he's a bounder'

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne may be prepared to admit he's 'a bounder' in his row wifh Ed Balls. Balls has demanded an apology over Osborne's accusation that he was complicit in the...

roybland 10.07.12 5:53pm
Adele pregnancy - Nation assumed she was just fat 3
bonjonelson 10.07.12 5:26pm
. 15
10.07.12 4:14pm
Jamie Oliver Clones To Solve World Food Crisis

The most significant development in the history of feeding the world was announced today. Using recently-discovered secret Nazi technology, itself gleaned from an alien flying saucer which crashed...

Reg Herring 10.07.12 3:41pm
Mr Target
Katie Holmes get custody of senses

Katie Holmes is to have custody of her senses; her lawyer explained that, "Having recently come across her senses, having lost them for a few years, she is determined to keep hold of them."...

apepper 10.07.12 2:06pm
London's new airport will be underground, promises Boris.

An imaginative solution to the Capital's air congestion was announced by Mayor Boris Johnson at this week's meeting of the London Transport Planning Initiative (Air and Road) Working Party Select...

Boutros 10.07.12 2:01pm
MI5 stumped as Al Qaeda plot to disrupt Olympics with “rain attack”

M15 director general Jonathan Evans concedes that a recently uncovered Al Qaeda plot to disrupt the Olympics may be “unstoppable”. The plot is aimed at causing a number of serious problems,...

Yikes 10.07.12 12:28pm
Mars probe excites chocolate faithful

A finger of fudge used to be enough, but in today’s fast moving world of chocolate branding, an eye on the news has helped marketing men sit up and listen. Which is why the recent NASA expedition...

nickb 10.07.12 12:21pm
Dyson Airblade use to blame for recent downpours

A report published this morning blames the recent downpours on the increasing use of Dyson Airblades in the nations washrooms and public conveniences. Michael Perch of the Met Office and author of...

simonjmr 10.07.12 12:13pm
Space Race "impossible" proclaims delighted troll - "you can't run in a vacuum&a

What the hell's happened to my last punctuation mark?...

SpankyMonkey 10.07.12 12:06pm
"Wombles put me off" claims Murray "oh, and Federer played better"

Andy Murray and his mum Judy have today provided prove that the fictional imaginary Wombles of Wimbledon were to play for Andy's unexplained defeat to the boring Swiss Federer. "Whenever I was in a...

simonjmr 10.07.12 10:03am
Sir Steve Redgrave: "I live In Constant Fear Of Being Found Out"

5-time Olympic gold medallist, Sir Steve Redgrave, has revealed today that he lives in constant fear of being "found out as being nothing special and a very lucky so and so to boot," despite the...

Duff 10.07.12 9:45am
seymour totti