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God particle ‘looks just like old white guy with beard'

There go my Sundays from now on...

John Ffitch-Rucker 13.12.11 10:04am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Geldolf hopes song about Tuesdays will double his music revenues 0
bonjonelson 13.12.11 9:54am
Young Apprentice to be renamed "Uppity Little Cunts You'd Like to Slap" 2
ronseal 13.12.11 9:48am
"Cameron Flounce" Dance Craze Hits UK...

.Main steps - don't take your partners by the hand...

Jesse Bigg 13.12.11 9:45am
Irish X Factor winners announced. Well done 'Little Micks' 3
Perks 13.12.11 9:37am
Geldof admits "Mondays not so bad after all". More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 13.12.11 9:23am
Nick Clegg sings lonely lament in protest against isolationism

Following a bitterly disappointing disengagement by David Cameron from a central role at the EU negotiation table, Nick Clegg has staged a one man protest against the UK’s isolation in Europe....

fernandomando 13.12.11 8:51am
Police replace 'Stop and Search' with 'Tap and Tickle'

Following successful trials by Northumbria Police, the rest of the UK’s police forces have agreed to replace their ‘Stop and Search’ policy with the forward thinking ‘Tap and Tickle’. The...

Perks 13.12.11 8:23am
Restless White-Van-Man found to have "settled in Transit".

more later...

dvo4fun 13.12.11 8:20am
Large Hadron Collider Finds Car Keys

It cost some $6.3 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have finally found the car keys. It was some time in the early 1990s when physicist Brian Cox , then a student and pop musician,...

Quaz 13.12.11 1:19am
Nick Clegg to start a one man "occupy Brussels" protest. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 13.12.11 1:18am
Al OPecia
David Cameron to release cover version of "I am a Rock, I am an Island". 0
Al OPecia 13.12.11 1:15am
Al OPecia
Giddy aunt was actually suffering from benign paroxysmal positional vertigo

Dr Leo Mortimer was left with nothing but a sense of guilt after performing a post-mortem on his own Aunt Ethel’s corpse. ‘She had a long history of feeling faint, falling to her knees and...

malgor 12.12.11 11:59pm
Crowds line Bucharest streets to honour repatriated Wooton Bassett flag salesmen 2
reforse 12.12.11 11:59pm
Xmas disappointment as 'Nick Clegg principles' sold out 3
Perks 12.12.11 11:57pm
Fanatical muso finally realises X Factor wasn't aimed at him

A fanatical music fan had a moment of clarity this week, when he realised that 'The X Factor' wasn't specifically made for his entertainment. Jeremy 'The Rage' Osthwaite is considered to be 'the...

12.12.11 11:51pm
Clegg's taxi finally arrives at House of Commons after 18 months

Why is he always looking at the door when Cameron is speaking at the despatch box? It's almost like he doesn't want to be there...

MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:41pm
Climate change sceptic Nigel Lawson claims Nigella not as hot as she was

hat tip to username...

medici2471 12.12.11 11:36pm
irregular apple
'Little Mix' has 'One Direction'. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:31pm
MT Bucket
BBC admits parts of Doctor Who filmed in Cardiff, not in a TARDIS. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:28pm
MT Bucket
Cameron fails to negotiate way of paper bag: SAS called in to attempt rescue. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:09pm
MT Bucket
Clegg: "I'll scweam and scweam and scweam until I'm sick" 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:03pm
MT Bucket
Lib Dems break world record for lowest recorded temperature in Cabinet meeting 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 10:59pm
MT Bucket
Clegg not in Parliament because he was "searching for his rattle". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 12.12.11 10:19pm
Al OPecia
Vladimir Putin crowned surprise winner of Russian X Factor

Vladimir Putin walked off with the Russian X Factor title last night with 98.3 percent of the public vote, despite widespread allegations of vote-rigging. The Prime Minister and horse enthusiast...

Gary Stanton 12.12.11 9:29pm
irregular apple
CIA Drone going for $100,000 on Iranian Blow-Up TV 0
irregular apple 12.12.11 9:19pm
irregular apple
Napoleon's head removed after threats.

The stuffed head of French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was today taken down from the wall of a Devon hotel after numerous threats urging its removal. Hotel owner Claire Carter was surprised to learn...

irregular apple 12.12.11 8:23pm
irregular apple
Chelsea decide to put John Terry out to stud. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.12.11 8:10pm
Sarkozy to judge Britain's Got Parliament

Sources close to the French premier suggest he has agreed a deal with Simon Cowell's SYCO production company to judge 'Britain's Got Parliament' a new Westminster based reality extravaganza. Sarkozy...

irregular apple 12.12.11 8:07pm
irregular apple
Scotland battered 9
beau-jolly 12.12.11 7:53pm