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Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari claims asylum in France 1
afternoonslow 3 years

He has been sent to Calais where he was last seen, with a small groups of invaders (or ‘clandestines ‘ as the French authorities refer to them), ambling around, possibly on their way to the...

Pope converts to Islam 0
PluckyMunky 3 years
Team GB seal victory in fish-related events. 1
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Jacqui Smith applies for BBC job. Husband applies to Channel 5. 0
Ludicity 3 years
I can't believe it's not milk 0
ramblesnake 3 years

now on sale in cloned supermarkets...

Yousuf called up to Pakisan test side. Cat Stevens rushes to buy new bat 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Government redesignates homeless as street artists 4
Mrblacker 3 years

In a controversial move, the Government is to chsange the status of people living rough across the UK. The proposal from Iain Duncan-Smith, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, would see...

UK 2012 Paralympics hopes boosted with new events 3
Mrblacker 3 years

The chance of Team GB winning a record haul of medals at the London 2012 Paralympics have received a shot in the arm from the International Olympic Committee. After months of consultation, the IOC...

Boris Johnson launches 60ft long bendy bike 7
Ludicity 3 years

London Mayor, Boris Johnson, has unveiled his latest solution to the capital’s transport problems – the bendy bike – a 60ft long, articulated bicycle that bends in the middle. ‘The bendy...

‘Sarah’s law’ to be adopted in Eire: Paedophiles will be forced to wear cassocks 0
Stan Laurel 3 years

Following the Home Office announcement that the scheme known as ‘Sarah’s Law’ is to be extended in the UK, it was confirmed that plans are well advanced to introduce a similar scheme in Eire....

Prince A sarky artisticless titheaded narcisitic antagonistic vegan or 0
arrghgarry 3 years

SATNAV, as he is now known, heralded the end of the internet ,It would seem Itunes will not pay him millions in advance for his outdated music .How can they be so goddam rude and shortsighted fumes...

White House admits that bombing Iran will not make everyone here rich. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years
Ronnie Corbett bigger in the flesh than on TV 1
Des Custard 3 years

Appearing at a charity fundraiser yesterday, comedian Ronnie Corbett once again attracted comments that unlike almost every other celebrity he actually appears bigger in the flesh than on the screen....

Crushing your legs could present a health risk 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

(with thanks and acknowledgements to Mr Umpire, below)...

Vanessa Feltz eats pepper spray 6
BlackAndroid 3 years

The self righteous opinionated lard arse Vanessa Feltz arrived at Hopital Saint Elisabeth in Belguim in a laden down Serco flatbed truck for her appointment to be fitted with a gastric band this...

Steve Jobs admits Apple doesn't have iPhone app for "making calls" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Probably been done and a bit late but what the heck?...

Vanessa phelps ,John Prescoot hail the new product to keep fat people 0
arrghgarry 3 years

going while dancing at night clubs.The new "Tab of lard " from Nestle promises to keep fatties keep going until they reach the kebab van outside .Vanessa and John both special type Alpha Bulimists...

Pakistan row latest: 'We Might Have Terrorism But the UK Has BP' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

More playground action later...

PM confirms Trident replacement to be paid for through lottery funding 0
bonjonelson 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today confirmed that Whitehall would no longer be able to fund the estimate £20 Billion cost of new Trident nuclear submarine missile systems (which the government have...

Stock fund manager admits all his tips are already reflected in the fund price 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Onboard F1 communication to be replace by automated switchboard 1
hero2zero 3 years

Trials of a combination of Satnav and automated switchboard system have been completed ready for use in next year’s Formula One. Our reporter, who has followed its development closely, gives us an...

Scientists called New Research "more quotable": new research 0
Izziere 3 years

According to new research, changing your name to New Research makes you 93% more likely to be have your views used to fill up useless column inches with old wives tales. In her paper "Rent a quote...

New concept allows holidaymakers to take bogus posh holidays........ 0
Stan Laurel 3 years

New concept allows holidaymakers to take bogus posh holidays whilst staying on the cheap in the UK As people continue to struggle with the demands of the economy, a travel company has come up with a...

Chelsea lucky not to be just a stain on wife's dress 3
ramblesnake 3 years

says Bill during father of the bride speech...

DfE official:"We'd consult the public but we realised they don't know anything." 0
la maga 3 years

A civil servant at the Department for Education today controversially explained why the public are so seldom consulted on changes to the education system. "The public are ignorant," he claimed. "They...

Study suggests that a stitch in time may not save nine 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

Reporting the findings of a three year study, in Nature, Professor Andrew Pale, indicates that a 'stich in time may save 3 or it may save 11 - there is no definitive answer. It would appear that the...

Woman achieves perfection through Google ads 1
Des Custard 3 years

Described as part Cameron Diaz with better skin, part Cheryl Cole with her own hair, Ashia Coppola, 22, has been named by the Evening Standard today as Britain’s most desirable woman. But Ashia...

Chavez won't confirm or deny messiahhood, points to record fighting Great Satan 0
la maga 3 years
No cash for steel, only bankers, says son of banking family, also Prime Minister 3
la maga 3 years
Go out with a bang, advises old television to youngsters; flatscreens roll eyes 1
la maga 3 years