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Cumbrian house prices tumble after killing spree 0
curry muncher 3 years

Latest update from the Daily Mail headline generator...

Outdoor pursuit shops in the Lake District to stock flak jackets. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Manufacturers handbook recommends the Mexican Gulf is due a 3000 mile oil change 0
Basil_B 3 years
Heskey scores first own goal of world cup 0
Mr.3374 3 years

More injuries soon...

Dyslexic Israeli Soldiers aid bored ship... 0
allmyownstunts 3 years

raining playing cards, cross-stitch kits and Sudoku puzzles down onto the decks of a ship bound for Gaza...

Nick Clegg on the nuaghty step after big tantrum with David Cameron. 0
3 years

News has just come in from Downing Street that Deputy Primeminister Nick Clegg has been put on the naughty step by David Cameron after he allegedly 'had a big tantrum' and 'started getting stroppy'...

Scientists prove football is not a game of two halves. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
EU ruling means next year’s ‘BGT’ becomes ‘Europe’s Got Talent’. 1
Stan Laurel 3 years

It has been confirmed that this year’s series of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ will be the last of its kind following a EU ruling that will force the talent contest to be opened up to all European...

Cumbrian Murders Luxury Coach Tours Co 1
ramblesnake 3 years

advised to leave it a week...

'Data leads to Knowledge, Knowledge leads to Power', Yoda now works at Google 0
dan_waterworth 3 years
Brycreem claims record for world's biggest oil slick 0
roybland 3 years
Englands captain curse sees Ferdinand sidelined. Fans want Heskey as replacement 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Ahmadinejad dismantles nuclear armoury after discovery of Iranian Dale Winton. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Search ongoing for North Korean Alan Titchmarsh...

Gravediggers forced to cheer-up in funereal service overhaul 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Sky News Gives a Child a Chance 0
Doctor Moptop 3 years

Sky News defended its decision to broadcast an interview with a nine-year-old boy who witnessed one of Derrick Bird's murders. "Going over the traumatic event that has shaken the community to its...

Higgs-Bowson particle discovered during Hotpoint spin-cycle. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Large Hadron Collider 'not redundant' after discovery that 'it washes beautifully at 30 degrees'...

Society of the Bleedin' Obvious unsure of purpose 1
roybland 3 years
Corpse left outside florists as tribute to murder victim 1
roybland 3 years
Writer downs his tool as knob gag gag hits home 0
andhrimnir 3 years

no more soon...

Ed Balls lands new role 0
euankitson 3 years

Amist speculation MGM have tonight announced that the new James Bond actor is to be Ed Balls. After the departure of Daniel Craig from the franchise the film-makers allowed actors to put themselves...

(reposting) Newsbiscuit starts Anti-Smut Campaign 4
PluckyMunky 3 years

'We just don't need this schoolboy, peurile, filth', says Merton solicitor, Brian Kane, a tall man with a very long but flacid cock. (It may be clearer, now, why it was deleted)...

Drogba Elbowed Out 1
Doctor Moptop 3 years
Potters Bar witness "heard a bang". It's going to be a long ol' inquest. 9
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Channel 5 reschedule cricket highlights after the misery at Old Trafford today 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

more respect later...

Job seekers allowance to be scrapped in favour of job avoiders get fuck all. 6
Basil_B 3 years

Announced Cameron after todays cabinet meeting...

Burglars. Want a 50" plasma TV? Just pick a house with a St Georges flag on it 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

So you're not disturbed make sure its a day when England play and theyve gone to the pub to watch it...

EasyJet ash test integrity questioned when sensors found outside school discos 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

and pubs, hospital maternity wards and office buildings but nowhere near a volcano...

Police question Welshman after massive knob painted on Uffington white horse 4
andhrimnir 3 years

during what he claims is "smut hour"...

Lid Dem policy influence holds sway as Custard to be made new national dish. 2
Basil_B 3 years

A triumphant beaming Nick Clegg appeared from this afternoons cabinet meeting making the announcement that custard will be the new national dish, ' Ever since the election I have fought hard with...

Police on alert as another mild-mannered man turns nasty 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years

false alarm its only Hong Kong Phooey,