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Chelsea’s rivals send Torres best wishes for speedy recovery from injury 2
Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:43pm
greg various
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Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:35am
Duncan Biscuit
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Duncan Biscuit 11.08.11 8:35am
Duncan Biscuit
Tottenham looter was Old Etonian toff.

Two public school boys who took part in widespread looting have told friends on Facebook that the rioting was "Awesome" and have boasted about "getting freebies from rich tossers." The posh yobs,...

rebel not taken 11.08.11 8:21am
rebel not taken
New Mr Men launched for 40th Anniversary

Marking the anniversary and also the change in economical and cultural styles the Mr Men launched a new range Mr Benefit - never worked in his life and has claimed for any and everything, Mr Spam -...

brownpaperreporter 11.08.11 8:14am
Camp site attacked by polari bear 8
charlies_hat 12.08.11 8:34am
News from Scotland Yard

The Met's Acting Commissioner, Tim Godwin, and his Senior Team Return to New Scotland Yard [url=]img...

arflaethel 11.08.11 7:22am
Norwegian tradgedies worsen - a-ha to reunite. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.08.11 6:47am
Al OPecia
Police sirens to be replaced with a recording of Brian Blessed. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.08.11 6:43am
Al OPecia
Homeopathic jokes "just not strong enough". More soon. 5
Al OPecia 12.08.11 3:28pm
Police deny ‘favouritism’ after minefield is laid around Chipping Norton.

Thames Valley Police have today denied resource favouritism and overreacting to recent events after officers were seen raising a perimeter fence, laying a minefield and digging a moat around the town...

Corrigan 10.08.11 10:27pm
Kaiser Chiefs in "we told you so "shocker

[More soon]...

dicky37 11.08.11 6:38am
Al OPecia
Sixteen-year-old wins Scowling Teen of the Year Award

Blackpool schoolgirl Lucy Lusted (16) was last night voted Scowling Teen of the Year by teen mag Sulk.,  , Sulk's editor Belinda Bowles (18) said the judges were 'blown away by Lucy's superior...

roybland 10.08.11 8:04pm
Millionaire murderer to be extradited

even though he's clinically depressed about being found out...

greg various 10.08.11 6:10pm
greg various
Some of the rioters aren't even interested in football, complains Harry The Dog 0
ronseal 10.08.11 4:44pm
Tottenham Hostpur offer to rebuild riot-hit areas with new stadium. 0
martin2381 10.08.11 3:39pm
Rioters in Bristol cause £16m worth of improvements. 0
martin2381 10.08.11 3:34pm
Ryanair offers looting holidays to London and Birmingham.

And would you put it past them?...

martin2381 10.08.11 3:33pm
Millwall fans defend Eltham.

They are patrolling the streets singing "no one loots us we don't care"...

rebel not taken 10.08.11 3:11pm
rebel not taken
E-Looters target Amazon website by throwing bricks at own laptop screens.

Morons Soon...

seymour totti 10.08.11 3:00pm
seymour totti
Southern Rail ‘to put woman on Moon’ by 2015

Southern Railway has announced a bold plan to put a person on the Moon by 2015, while warning that engineering works and unforeseen atmospheric conditions could delay arrival by a year or so....

Des Custard 10.08.11 2:42pm
Des Custard
Politicians repeated over-use of 'Robust' almost on par with 'Deeply Saddened'

Repeated questions to explain themselves in depth ignored. More soon...

The Return of DroleNoel 10.08.11 2:37pm
The Return of DroleNoel
Met Police call in ex-News of the World journalists to hack rioters Blackberries

Faced with sophisticated rioters organising themselves through Blackberry Messenger, the Metropolitan Police has called in specialist support from telecoms and intelligence-gathering experts who...

Long Distance Clara 10.08.11 5:00pm
Zadok the second
India fans 'may riot' to avoid drubbing

Following the successful campaign by rioters to prevent the England football team getting tonked by Holland, India cricket fans are today considering going on the rampage around Edgbaston...

Midfield Diamond 10.08.11 1:40pm
Midfield Diamond
Tottenham to offer ‘Nictatelli’ a trial

An unknown local youngster that Harry Redknapp has only watched on TV is Spurs’ latest target. The mystery youth shows nifty footwork and an impressive turn of speed in the ten second clip, during...

Midfield Diamond 10.08.11 11:57am
Midfield Diamond
Rio Ferdinand to address the nation on Twitter.

Kick Off 19.45 (Sky Sports 1HD)...

rebel not taken 10.08.11 11:53am
rebel not taken
Bullingdon Club to reform

After watching the riots unfold from the comfort of his holiday home, Boris Johnson, has said he is reinvigorated and set to reform the Old Bullingdon Club gang. “It’s all just high spirits.,...

whickerman 10.08.11 1:19pm
UK Met Office to launch cutting edge nationwide 'riotcasts'

The Met Office in conjunction with people who do this kind of thing are to launch the first forecasts for riot conditions throughout the UK . Since the initial outbreak of violent disorder, experts...

Gary Stanton 12.08.11 12:43pm
Stephen Fry to read young people The Riot Act

Every young person in Britain is to be issued with an audio book version of The Riot Act of 1715 read by the actor and writer Stephen Fry. The reading, described as ‘an act for preventing tumults...

Ludicity 11.08.11 6:43am
Al OPecia
Looter who stole CRT TV is ridiculed by peers 0
antharrison 10.08.11 10:51am