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Most students ‘satisfied’ with the quality of daytime TV 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.08.11 8:41am
Duncan Biscuit
Man Utd Asian float would see Busby Babes re-branded as Asian Babes 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.08.11 8:40am
Duncan Biscuit
Pair set Indian Ocean rowing record after spotting shoal of sharks 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.08.11 8:40am
Duncan Biscuit
Government embroiled in controversy following 'fatherless children' claims.

The government and The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority was under increasing pressure today to clarify claims by the Prime Minister in a speech this week that british scientists had...

Boroughbloke 17.08.11 7:06am
Government advise rod of iron on ferrous children

Untamed advice later...

virtuallywill 17.08.11 5:42am
Money ousted from position as 'root of all evil' by new Argos catalogue

An inter-faith committee last night declared that the new autumn/winter 2011 Argos catalogue is now regarded by religious groups to be the root of all the evils of the modern world., "It's...

dicky37 17.08.11 8:45am
Duncan Biscuit
US stocks fall on news of stocks falling 1
Dumbnews 16.08.11 10:11pm
Starship Enterprise acheme was ruse to find jobs for middle aged executives 0
ronseal 16.08.11 9:13pm
'80s band Starship sued after buildings collapse in city built on rock and roll

More soon. Probably...

theboot 16.08.11 8:46pm
Twitter Rioters face Doing Bird 0
Dun Dunkin 16.08.11 8:08pm
Dun Dunkin
Inappropriate To Say Notting Hill Carnival will be a 'Riot'

A Professor of English at Neasden University told a meeting 'As language shifts its meaning through time to promote a public event as a riot is no longer jovially innocent but can attract heavy...

Dun Dunkin 16.08.11 8:04pm
Dun Dunkin
Looting rejected as 2012 demonstration sport.

More to follow...

spoole2112 16.08.11 7:51pm
Jimmy Bullard trades Hull wet fish for QPR caviar.

Word on the streets is that wantaway diamond geezer Jimmy Bullard is looking to trade in the wet fish of Hull for a diet of caviar with glamour club QPR. Jimmy Bullard was last seen casting his line...

rebel not taken 16.08.11 10:54pm
rebel not taken
IOC agree that 2012 Olympic Games should be "Looting Calling" 0
brownpaperreporter 16.08.11 6:23pm
Hackgate to be resolved using Duckworth Lewis method, says select committee. 2
dominic_mcg 16.08.11 8:14pm
AC-DC to market their own wine - Whole lotta rosé. More soon. 5
dominic_mcg 17.08.11 1:08pm
p1 f&b aka pfb - does this help reveal who were behind the London riots?

The unseen architects of the recent Tottenham riot have finally been exposed. From the strangely scented sitting room of a quiet residential address, less than a mile from the epicentre of one...

spoole2112 16.08.11 4:43pm
The Return of DroleNoel
Crack Para-Poets to be deployed to riot torn areas. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 16.08.11 3:21pm
Al OPecia
Allotment rioter charged with breach of the peas 1
Screenie 16.08.11 3:53pm
Mother Teresa's secret Kinder egg toy collection to be auctioned. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 16.08.11 11:52pm
Royal Society for Ornithology to change name of sea gulls to sea bastards

In light of the increasing threat that sea gulls are currently posing for tourists in coastal towns around Britain by attacking them for food the Royal Society for Ornithology have agreed to rename...

Basil_B 22.08.11 11:40pm
Murdoch’s beatification delayed as butter melting in mouth results questioned

Saint-in-waiting James Murdoch, son of Rupert the Blameless, has had his application for beatification delayed while crucial test results are re-analysed by a committee of malleable priests, or MPs....

Des Custard 09.11.11 12:48pm
Des Custard
Goldblum in search for name for 'fly on the wall' documentary about Floyd album 0
spoole2112 16.08.11 12:35pm
Harry dumps whirlybird to spend more time with his joystick 0
greg various 16.08.11 11:49am
greg various
Cameron: "National service not just ruse to steal more shit from poor countries"

David Cameron has hit out at critics who’ve labelled his plan of reintroducing national service for Britain’s looting classes as ‘just another way to steal more shit from countries we’ve...

Qoxiivi 16.08.11 8:50pm
Obese man wins right to McDonalds bypass

A 22-stone ex-policeman has been told he can have a ‘life-saving’ gastric bypass built around his local McDonalds, despite losing a legal case after being rejected for it previously. ...

jp1885 17.08.11 11:32pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Ch. 5 announce girl who robbed crisps from Poundland will be in Celebrity BB 3
simonjmr 21.08.11 7:50pm
Shell critics describe fresh North Sea leek as unpalatable 0
spoole2112 16.08.11 11:15am
Vince Cable to be fitted with collar bomb senior Tories announce 0
simonjmr 16.08.11 11:14am
Cowes - I.O.W set to rival Frankfurt as European finance hub

Claims the newly appointed chair of the I.O.W. Calculator Users Club. The former tractor driver explained that he'd lost his job last month after "fucking up the tractor" but now has the time and...

Duff-N-Custard 16.08.11 9:59am