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Search for bicycle pump enters 3rd day 1
Gerontius 4 years

A bicycle pump used to keep the head of Conservative MP Eric Pickles bloated during the day has gone missing from a House of Commons locker, revealed his press secretary yesterday., The MP, who uses...

Bill Bailey: I was a tone-deaf catwalk model 1
Des Custard 4 years

In a candid interview, comedian and musician Bill Bailey has revealed that in his early twenties he was headed for fame as a fashion model. ‘I was tall and slim, with the sort of thick straight...

Student threw fire extinguisher as he hadn’t yet learnt how to let one off 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
School funding centralisation sees Nick Clegg appointed dinner money monitor 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Administrators called in to Pontins check-out after seeing the accommodation 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Fire extinguisher riot suspect unlikely to be let off 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Anne Widdecombe poached by Bolshoi Ballet 4
flim-flam 4 years

A former Tory minister and celebrated virgin, Anne Widdecombe, who has set the nation alight with her svelte performances on the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing show, has been asked by Russia’s...

Man puts massive mirror in his garden 0
Golgo13 4 years

so it looks like hes done twice as much mowing the lawn an thus hes entitled to have an extra beer...

Poll finds belief in the Big Society more prevalent among fat Tories 1
roybland 4 years

Communities secretary Eric Pickles believes in the Big Society because he's a fat Conservative according to polls...

Not dead yet Mohammed Ali gets in a grave ready to turn for Haye v Harrison 0
Basil_B 4 years
Irish Government prepares to swap Bono for Aircraft Carrier. 3
Milo Shame 4 years

In this age of austerity, the Irish Government has come up with a plan to shore up any short-fall in their defence budget by considering swapping Bono for an aircraft carrier. Some defence experts...

Paedophiles slam Amazon book over lack of basic puppy training info 6
Gary Stanton 4 years

Paedophiles in your neighbourhood last night slammed online retailer Amazon for featuring a book with a slapdash approach to child love. Although the book entitled “The Paedophile’s Guide To...

Universe doesn't smell of butter, scientists affirm 4
Oxbridge 4 years
Microsoft to release new X-Box ‘Mirror’ in time for Christmas rush 3
Milo Shame 4 years

Microsoft announced that their latest add-on for the X-Box will be in stores just in time for Christmas. The X-Box ‘Mirror’ has already had its release in Asian and American markets and the...

Adaptable physicist has several ions in the fire 17
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Bus driver demolishs his own house as he drives his No.10 right through it. 3
Basil_B 4 years

'I've warned him about bringing his work home with him but would he listen' commented his Wife...

Vatican to Repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Policy on Paedophiles 0
Grover 4 years Following the sale of a paedophile advice guide on the book-selling website Amazon, the Vatican is now considering repealing its...

Gap between rich and poor to be turned into new Water Park 4
Milo Shame 4 years

Charles Benmore from the Department of Culture, Media and Sport announces today that his Department is prepared to set up a tendering process for a controlling interest in the gap between the rich...

Winter TV Schedules Reflect Harsh Economic Climate 7
De-scribe 4 years

Highlights from the BBC's winter schedules announced today include: Scrapheap Challenge: Two redundant middle-aged businessmen fight to the death for the right to work in a call-centre. Rising...

Research Scientists in uproar over cuts to 'fucking about a bit' budget 9
Moggsy 4 years

The scientific community is in chaos following government announcements to more than halve funding into inane research which has made titting about a source of full time employment and twee news...

Hospital executive slams doctor for shameless rounding up of NHS job losses 2
Basil_B 4 years

NHS chief executive Sir David Nicholson condemned Royal College of Nursing executive Dr David Carter's claim that 27,000 jobs would go be going in the coming months as a gross exaggeration of the...

Weather forecasters predict it's sometimes windy 0
Sinnick 4 years

Does anyone else get irritated when we're warned about typical weather, just to get the public excited about something ? "Severe Weather Alert - could be slightly icy in winter", "Danger -...

After Amazon refuse to delist paedophiles book protestor 0
arrghgarry 4 years

wants to fuck the CEO`s children up their collective arses,he added these people are as sick as the paedos that like a good read...

Selfish coke addicts to launch TV Channel - "Whose line is it anyway?" 1
simonjmr 4 years
Cameron's Photographer Lines Up Lib-Dem MP's.... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

for mugs shot...

Unidentified Student Protestor wins coveted ‘Rear of the Year’ title 0
Milo Shame 4 years

As Scotland Yard officers examine hours of CCTV footage from Millbank, Chief Inspector Ray Willets was happy to announce their involvement in one of the most hotly contested awards of 2010. When...

Christian Insurance Salesman Dismisses 'Acts of God' 0
De-scribe 4 years

"I much prefer his earlier work", said Mr Clive Peasgood, 45 of Leicester...

Cameron suceeds in de-valuing Chinese currency by calling it a 'wanker' 0
Milo Shame 4 years

(more soon)...

Hospital night shift unable to clock off after NHS two minutes to midnight claim 0
Basil_B 4 years
Next Harry Potter to be X Rated 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

The Proposed 'Confessions of a Wizard' is likely to be the next sequel to the Harry Potter Franchise. The typecast actors are delighted they can break away from their kiddy image and 'let rip' with...