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Fruit and veg sellers in crisis as tupperware bowl shortage bites. 0
Boutros 21.05.12 1:38pm
Audi announces 2012 A4 model now licenced for driving in all 3 motorway lanes. 0
bonjonelson 21.05.12 1:22pm
Gibb death ends deadly chain reaction of pop tragedies 0
tonylemesma 21.05.12 12:59pm
Olympic Torch route altered to pass through the set of 'Dickinson's Real Deal'

It saves time in the long run...

Ian Searle 21.05.12 11:44am
Ian Searle
Patients able to book GP appointments and get test results within 3 years

Patients in England will be able to book GP appointments and get test results within three years, ministers are promising. Efficiencies are expected as a new sleek, streamlined breed of...

simonjmr 21.05.12 11:11am
Olympic relay runner "has always carried a flame for me" claims ex girlfriend 0
simonjmr 21.05.12 11:07am
Robin Gibb joins his brothers up on high

Genuine sadness here, life is very cruel...

Iamthestig 21.05.12 10:31am
UK Rabies epidemic feared after Theresa May returns from Europe

Onlookers described Ms May as being "Wild eyed and frothing at the mouth" More soon...

simonjmr 21.05.12 9:32am
Jamie Oliver calls for a King Edward Potato to be put in every school 1
Ian Searle 21.05.12 9:00am
God denies putting together heavenly house band

"It's just pure coincindence that Donna Summer, Robin Gibb and the drummer from Crowded House all died within a few days of each other" said a spokesman for the Lord Almighty in Rome today.....

simonjmr 21.05.12 8:59am
Chelsea victory parade now twinned with Olympic Torch Relay 0
seymour totti 21.05.12 8:16am
seymour totti
Bullseye based opera "La Bowen" to be premiered at Glyndbourne this summer 0
Scronnyglonkle 21.05.12 6:51am
Shock as Robin Gibb turns out to be Al-Megrahi 0
charlies_hat 20.05.12 11:05pm
Johnson makes 'Boris haircut' compulsory for all London law-enforcement staff, Sue Akers, head of the Met's inquiries into phone hacking...

Clare Ellen 20.05.12 10:20pm
Clare Ellen
“We want our own global summit too!” says UB40

On the final day of the G8 meeting, Britain's number one reggae band has called for established alphanumeric combinations everywhere to be granted their own international summits. G8 discussions of...

Clare Ellen 20.05.12 9:10pm
John Terry has decided not to call David Cameron as a character witness

Apparently he has said some bad things...

Ian Searle 20.05.12 7:17pm
Ian Searle
"Moving From Scotland" Increased Al Megrahi Longevity Claim Doctors 2
thisisall1word 20.05.12 6:59pm
A Wagonload Of Monkeys
John Terry To Become Professional Trophy Lifter

Nearing the end of his playing career John Terry took the first steps towards the new stage in his life; lifting trophies won by other people. The Chelsea defender has faced criticism that his aging...

Hooch 20.05.12 6:44pm
A Wagonload Of Monkeys
Unemployed encouraged "to not work at home" during Olympics

People out of work are being encouraged not to be unemployed on public transport during the Olympics. "Just as we're encouraging people in work to consider alternatives to travel, we're asking the...

nickb 20.05.12 6:34pm
England to follow Chelsea's winning formula and field team of foreigners. 1
MADJEZ 20.05.12 6:26pm
Olympics in doubt as Customs impounds flame for unpaid duty. 0
Lemon difficult 20.05.12 6:08pm
Lemon difficult
Fire at Olympic flame store causes chaos - "We might have wrong flame"

A fire at the storage facility has caused confusion as it seems likely that the Olympic flame has become mixed up with common "normal" flames...

apepper 20.05.12 5:00pm
Fracas at Camp David as Merkel chins Cameron following penalty shoot-out loss

Barack Obama was left with a black eye after being caught up in a late night altercation between Angela Merkel and David Cameron following Chelsea's dramtic win on penalties in the Champions League...

Mandy Lifeboat 20.05.12 4:20pm
Abdel Bassett latest: Daily Star phones Rowntrees and asks for quote from Bertie

Following the death of Abbdel Basset-Magrahi, Daily Star reporters have been seen rummaging through the bins at Rowntrees, the Liquorice Allsort maker, looking for dirt on Bertie...

ronseal 20.05.12 4:16pm
Olympic relay torches on ebay show people are getting behind the games says Coe.

Lord Coe has expressed his delight that Olympic relay torches are for sale on eBay saying this, shows that people are getting behind the Olympics and expressing the true Olympic spirit. "Everyone...

Ian 20.05.12 3:40pm
Al-Megrahi probably faking death, says Daily Mail 0
Oxbridge 20.05.12 3:26pm
Megraha-ha, Megrahi-hi, ashes to be placed in a little brown jug.

More soon.. after I've had a little lie down...

MADJEZ 20.05.12 3:26pm
China punks blind dissident Chen Guangcheng by landing back in China and saying

"Welcome to the United States"...

thackaray 20.05.12 1:40pm
Judge States, Rebekah Brooks Sentance Can Include Crushing By Kansas Farm House 0
thisisall1word 20.05.12 1:30pm
Fucking Staines to Change Name to Staines

With apologies to Perks;

thisisall1word 20.05.12 1:26pm